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Copperhead flew through the air on a giant pizza as Doctor Satan threw giant cupcakes at the superhero.

“Surrender Copperhead and I promise you that your death will be a swift one” said Doctor Satan while raping Din Djarin.

“I’m sorry what did you say? I wasn’t paying attention” said Copperhead while juggling the severed heads of 3rd world children.

Doctor Satan rolled his eyes at that statement before summoning a cotton candy raincloud which spewed chocolate milk. The cloud then struck Copperhead with a lightning bolt made of solid chocolate.

The lightning bolt from the cloud caused the superhero to turn into an avocado.

“GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH” yelled the Avocado before firing red laser beams from his eyes at Doctor Satan, as all avocados are prone to do.

Doctor Satan deflected the laser with a trout before pulling out a wet napkin and slapping the avocado across the face, causing Copperhead to turn back to normal and fly into the empire state building, causing the skyscraper to blow up in a glorious explosion of Fruit Roll Ups.

Doctor Satan then put on a jetpack made of Kleenex tissues, and flew over to the wreckage to see if Copperhead had perished in the explosion.

Doctor Satan got to the rubble and saw that Copperhead was raping Mrs. Buttersworth before saying “gosh diddle darn.”

Copperhead then looked over at Doctor Satan and said “Mrs. Buttersworth, let’s execute the plan!”

Mrs. Buttersworth nodded her head before pulling herself off of Copperhead’s dick, reaching into her ass, and pulling out a traffic cone made of samurai swords.

Mrs. Buttersworth then threw the traffic cone at Doctor Satan, and the traffic cone hit him square in the forehead, causing the Doctor’s head to bleed massive amounts of steak sauce.

Copperhead then approached Doctor Satan and began pummeling him with boxing gloves made of nuclear bombs. A nuclear explosion went off with every single punch.

The FCC is interrupting this fanfiction with some breaking news. We have discovered that Hitler the Duck’s fanfictions are far too tasteless for mainstream audiences. They don’t have enough educational content in them, and it’s causing the youth of today to become corrupt. To counter this, we have brought John Hancock here to inject some education into this fic.

“I’m John Hancock and today we are going to recite the Declaration of Independence, now repeat after me.”

WHEN in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness—-That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security. Such has been the patient Sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the Necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The History of the present King of Great-Britain is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid World.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public Good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing Importance, unless suspended in their Operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the Accommodation of large Districts of People, unless those People would relinquish the Right of Representation in the Legislature, a Right inestimable to them, and formidable to Tyrants only.

He has called together Legislative Bodies at Places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the Depository of their public Records, for the sole Purpose of fatiguing them into Compliance with his Measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly Firmness his Invasions on the Rights of the People.

He has refused for a long Time, after such Dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the Dangers of Invasion from without, and Convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the Population of these States; for that Purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their Migrations hither, and raising the Conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the Tenure of their Offices, and the Amount and Payment of their Salaries.

He has erected a Multitude of new Offices, and sent hither Swarms of Officers to harrass our People, and eat out their Subst-

“I’M HITLER THE DUCK AND I DON’T APPROVE THIS MESSAGE!” yelled me.

“You can’t be here. I’m a founding father, I’m basically invincible”

“Oh really? Well in that case, you can drop down on all fours and suck my John Hancock” said me before I pulled out a Glock and shot the founding father in his stupid dumb face.

“Sorry about that folks, it won’t happen again” said me to you.

Doctor Satan kicked Copperhead in the stomach before opening his mouth and firing a blast of Heinz Ketchup at Copperhead.

Copperhead dodged out of the way, before tossing a shuriken made of breath mints at Doctor Satan, lodging itself in the Doctor’s skull.

Copperhead then put on a pair of shoes made of dying solar systems and began kicking Doctor Satan in the balls numerous times.

As Copperhead did this, Doctor Satan yelled “WAIT!”

Copperhead then stopped and asked “what?”

“Why are we even fighting?”

Copperhead then thought for a second and said “you know, I’m not really sure.”

“Let’s be pals instead”

Copperhead stopped kicking Doctor Satan and said “sure pal, let’s be best friends from now on.”

Copperhead then helped Doctor Satan back up to his feet and the two men skipped through a field of flowers to celebrate.