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'Hey Zam, are you doing okay?' Subz looked at the message typed out in his comms. And deleted it. Then he typed it out again. This had been repeated a few times already, deliberating on phrasing, and if Subz should even reach out.
Zam had told him pretty clearly that he wanted nothing to do with the Eclipse Federation anymore. And Subz wants to respect that. But the issue is, is that there might not be an Eclipse Federation anymore. Not without him, not without Vitalasy.
What is Subz supposed to do? Vitalasy has been banned from the server now that Planet had found his stash of duped items. And now Zam's quit. Subz had big plans for Eclipse. But now he doesn't have a team to carry them out.
At some point, Subz should have expected this. Except. No, he shouldn't have. He made this team for him and Vitalasy. It was supposed to be them together til the end. He didn't have plans for if Vitalasy was gone. Why would he? Vi being at his side was assumed.
But now he's not. And now, the third member of Eclipse is gone too. Subz hadn't planned on Zam joining them. Not at the beginning, but it was easy to write him into the ending he had planned.
Zam fit into their dynamic perfectly, he became essential to their plans so quickly.
When Vitalasy started yelling, because he was always so passionate about what they were doing, and Subz started withdrawing into himself, Zam was the level headed one, who got Vitalasy to shut up, and let Subz speak. When Zam was in his sign room, writing out the same spiralling ideas, he always let one of them come in and help talk through the issue.
Subz really liked having Zam around. It was something new, he would always have Vitalasy, that was just a given. But Zam was nice, he was new. And Subz loved that. And now Subz is alone.
Alone in a hidden base that way too many people know about to be considered hidden. Alone in a base made for two, but was perfectly filled by three.
Subz had to get out of here. But first he needed to send a message to Zam. 'How u doing?' No, that just sounded stupid.
'whats up?' Is that too needy?
Fuck it. Subz is needy. 'whats up Zam?' Send. It's a painful message to send. But he had been deliberating for way too long to be healthy. It just had to be done.
Now, it's time to track down Zam to wherever he had retreated to. Would he want to see him? Absolutely not. But Subz just lost his best friend/partner/soulmate, and he's not losing whatever Zam is to him too.
Zam had a warning he was coming. Sort of. Whatever. Subz doesn't care if he's not wanted. He wants Zam, and he's going to see him if he has to hold Zam down just to talk.
Subz doesn't know where Zam would go. He always just stayed at his base. Subz was used to people just seeking him out. He's not the one who has to go out looking. Whenever people wanted him, he was at his base and people would plead their case to him.
Sure he had done his best to be a pacifist earlier in the season. But that was a fucking joke. He'd been pulled into far too many wars for that to matter. But he had supplies, he had his base. People gathered around him because he was useful.
Now Subz doesn't feel like he's useful to anyone. That hadn't been the point of Eclipse. But now with the federation up in the air, he doesn't know what he's doing.
Maybe he's just lost without Vitalasy. He always had a plan. Even if he wasn't telling Subz what it was, he could tell that Vitalasy had major plans going on. And he knew that Vitalays had to carve time out of them to take part in Eclipse.
Subz doesn't have to know what Vi's scheming to support him. He'll admit, he wasn't surprised when Vitalasy's stash of illegal items were found. Vi's always been clever, and he'd been talking way too much about glitches and exploits for him not to be a part of the servers descent into exploits.
But Subz was happy to keep that secret, even if Vitalasy hadn't asked him to keep it, or even realised he told it. Subz was always going to help Vitalasy. Even if he wanted to destroy the server from the bedrock up. And Subz knew that Vitalasy would help him with whatever schemes he had going on.
Zam wouldn't. He made that very clear. His support was not unconditional. And that's why he left.
And Subz is fine with that. But he still cares about him. Maybe Zam is okay with cutting contact. But Subz isn't going to stand for that. Maybe he's just acting out because there's nowhere else for his concern for Vitalasy to go. But he's going to make sure that Zam's okay, whether he likes it or not.
Zam is going to be so fucking okay, it'll blow his damn mind. Subz is going to show him.
It takes far longer to find him than Subz expected. He doesn't have some built in sense of where he is like he was for Vitalasy. But Subz is nothing if not dedicated, and he finds Zam eventually.
He's in his castle. It's a pretty build, next to a mountain. There's a gravestone nearby. Subz checks who its for, and he's a bit surprised to find the name on it is 'Walter' Who the fuck is Walter? A pet? Whatever.
Zam is alive. Unlike Vitalasy, and Walter, he guesses. So Zam is what matters here.
-
Zam decidedly does not want to be bothered. After he left Eclipse, he just wants to be left alone while he figures out what to do next. So he goes to the one safe place he has on this server. Safety being as relative as it is on Lifesteal.
But it's pretty far out of the way, and he's not really shown anyone the place. So it should be fine to lay low for a few days to recuperate and plan. Maybe not in that order.
Because Zam can't quiet his head enough to rest. Vitalasy was a fucking liar. And Subz was too. Probably.
He really thought that he could trust them. Of course he couldn't. Zam was an idiot for even thinking that. He should have fucking known that when it comes down to it. Vitalasy and Subz were the team, and Zam was always going to be on the outside.
He really believed for a second that he was an equal member of the team. God he's stupid. It's always been Vitalasy and Subz, Subz and Vitalasy. Everyone knows that they're together. And Zam really thought that his input would matter if it came between them.
Zam hopes he never has to see either of them again. At least he won't be seeing Vitalasy. Now that the bastard's dead. Hopefully he'll stay dead for a bit.
He knows that Subz has the hearts to bring him back. But he can hope he gets a break from him being gone from the server. Zam doesn't know what he'd do if he came face to face with Vitalasy right now. But it wouldn't be pretty.
Zam hates how used he feels. He really fucking thought he could trust those two. But no. They don't give a single shit about what's good for this server. Only what's good for themselves.
Vitalays just wants power, and Subz just wants to keep Vitalasy happy. There's no morals. Subz doesn't have a backbone. Vitalasy is a monster, and Subz is complicit. That's how it's always been, and Zam should have seen it sooner.
He's just a moron. He never sees these things soon enough. It's the same thing that happened with Team Awesome. He was never an equal member. He was the third wheel on a bike. The spare. The one that you don't bring with you on a trip.
Zam's communicator buzzes. He doesn't check it. No one's reaching out to him, it's probably just an @everyone that no one wants him to respond to. What would even be the point in checking it? No one cares about him.
Zam is alone, he always has been, and he’s always going to be. And ya know what? Zam’s fine with that. It's clearly not something he can change, so it's not worth fighting.
Zam's fine on his own. Does it sting? Of course, will he get over it? Absolutely. In fact, he's already over it.
He's got villagers to trade with, he needs to regear. Most of his stuff he left in the Eclipse base, and he's not stepping foot in there unless it's to kill Subz. Yeah. He's going to get revenge some day.
On Vitalasy, on Subz. On Mapicc and Ro too, but that can come second for now. Maybe Zam can go back to Leviathan? He's a useful enough soldier. They know he's good at following orders most of the time.
They wouldn't have let him stay so close for so long if they weren't able to trust him. Maybe they can trust him again? What's a betrayal or two between friends?
God, is that really the best he can come up with? Go crawling back to Mapicc? Zam has to have another option. Because this can't be it for him. Fuck he's pathetic.
Zam leaves his comms with the rest of his gear as he picks up a pile of signs and a bucket of ink. He has some deliberating to do. There has to be an answer out there. And he's not going to rest until he finds it.
First make a list: What are the problems? (everyone hates you, you have no allies, everyone will betray you) Next, is there anyone who you can trust right now to help you? (no. no one) What problems are actionable? (none of them. Zam can't do anything. He's powerless)
After a half an hour of writing signs. Zam is no closer to fixing his problems. But what he does have is a stack of insults and self deprecation. And as he's about to go over more people who will never trust him again, there's an unfortunate knock at the door. He's not expecting anyone and he certainly doesn't want anyone. But why should anything work out for him anyways?
He curses under his breath before tromping to the door. He sure hopes it's not anyone he knows, cause he'll be pissed if it is. But damn if he doesn't know that he's setting himself up for disappointment. This whole server is a disappointment. And most of all Zam.
Fuck. Stay in the moment, Zam. He can feel himself drifting off in fear. This is not the time for it. Someone's here, that means you're not safe. Have a sword ready. Fuck. Where is all his gear? WHy didn't he just bring it with him?
Who knocks on the door? If it's to kill him they'd just do it. Not bother with 'doors' or politeness. So it's someone who wants to talk. And Zam doesn't have a single clue who that could be.
Not bothering to retrieve his gear, Zam answers the door. If it's death, hopefully it's a quick one, but Zam can't be assed to hope for more than that.
It's Subz. Why. Why is it Subz?
“Hey Zam, just wanted to check on ho-” Zam slams the door shut. Not a chance in hell is he talking to Subz.
The knocking continues. Zam slumps down against the door. Half-heartedly holding it closed with his body.
”Zam, I just want to talk.“ Subz tries. And what a lame-ass attempt.
Zam doesn't want to talk. That's like, the last thing he wants to do. He should make a list. Things he doesn't want to do (In order of severity): 1. Talk to Vitalasy (Checked, he's dead.) 2. Talk to Subz (Not checked. He's outside the door.) Fuck.
If Zam had his stuff with him, he could make Subz a bit closer to being as dead as Vitalasy. But he doesn't, and he knows that Subz is a better fighter than him right now.
Normally they're pretty evenly matched, but Subz is more consistent. A steadier sword, just slower than Zam, but heavier strikes. Subz knows where each strike will take him in a fight, while Zam just flurries and flails and fails.
And Zam knows that he's an emotional fighter. As in he gets worse the more thoughts in his head. And Subz isn't affected by things like that. The heartless bitch.
Zam tries to tell Subz that he doesn't want to talk. But he can't force words out of his mouth. No, he can't do anything. He feels his body shutting down. Tears welling in his eyes and his breath is growing heavier without his permission.
”I'm gonna come in if that's okay Zam.“ Subz tells him. No. No thats not fucking okay. But Zam can't speak.
”Breaking your door down now. Okay Zam, don't be alarmed.” Don't be fucking alarmed? That's the best you got?
Wow. Why did Zam ever look up to Subz? Has the man always been this fucking stupid?
Zam feels the door press against him, Subz is pushing it and him out of the way. Please don't. Please don't please don't. Is all that Zam can think.
A desperate silent prayer to a man with no chance of respecting it.
He can't force his eyes open, all he can hear is the pounding of his heart. Zam does not want to see Subz. But he's not being given that choice.
“Are you okay?” Subz asks him. Seeing how fucking pathetic he looks. Curled up in a ball on the floor. Shaking and crying.
If Zam came across himself, he'd have the decency to put him out of his misery. But Subz is a cruel man. He doesn't.
Subz is saying more things to him. But he can't hear them. He doesn't want to hear them, but Zam also knows that he needs to calm down. In fact, here's a short list of things that Zam needs to do: 1. Stop shaking. 2. Stop crying. 3. breathe better. 4. Not see Subz. 5. Calm the fuck down.
He can't calm down. Subz is crouched next to him. He's wrapping his arms around him. Zam's trapped. Subz is going to kill him and there's nothing he can do.
A brief list of things Zam can do about this: 1. Nothing. 2. Jack shit. 3. Nada. 4. Spontaneously die? No, his spawn point is too close. Subz would get him again. 5. Suffer.
Yeah. Suffering is the option. So Zam does.