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Scrabble and Ukraine
Laura Peterson sits in the guest host dressing room at The Morning Show her feet lightly twisting herself back and forth on the big blue swivel chair. Her gaze is slightly fixed on her reflection in the mirror, but mostly her racing thoughts in her mind preoccupy her senses. After the hand washing segment on The Morning Show she had asked Dr. Gwen Zeegers-Bottum if she had time to stop by her dressing room. Laura wanted to touch base with UBA’s chief medical correspondent on her opinion concerning the spread and seriousness of the coronavirus. With the virus gaining momentum in the United States, the news anchor has been thinking a lot of her heart condition and how vulnerable she could be to the serious virus. Every report that has gone out by UBA has only been adding to her anxiety…though nobody would know it.
Once Dr. Zeegers-Bottum left Laura simply found herself sitting in silence…the murmuring from the television on the wall behind her offering the only sound in the room. The afternoon news anchor of UBA drones on in the background about the escalating tensions between Vladimir Putin and Ukraine. When Laura hears this, her mind slips back into a memory. She closes her eyes, allowing the sounds of the television to slowly disappear, soon replaced by a different voice…from another time.
“Так!” Alex exclaims as she plops down the final tile of her turn. “11 points!”
“UKRAINE.” Laura reads laughing as she shakes her head before squinting back at the strawberry blonde. “However, you can’t play Ukraine…sorry babe.”
“What!” Alex hisses under her breath while raising an eyebrow. “Why not?!”
Laura bites her bottom lip to keep from laughing at the very competitive Alex Levy. “Place names, with capitalization, are not permitted.”
“What?! What the fuck Ukraine?!” Alex hisses for the second time as she looks around for the rule book before throwing her arms up in the air. “What am I doing? I’m not gonna read the stupid rule book.”
“I think you’re just going to have to trust me Levy.” Laura says with a twinkle in her eyes and a grin on her face.
Alex smirks flirtatiously back before rolling her eyes and pulling away half of the tiles off of the board. “Fine…RAIN.”
“Of course.” Laura mumbles amused under her breath.
“4 points….cough it up honey.” Alex says before motioning to the note pad.
“You got it.” Laura laughs before squinting her eyes at her own tray for her next turn.
The two women had opted for a quiet night in playing games and eating stale microwave popcorn. This is something that the two women never thought they would never have. A comfortable existence with somebody you care about so deeply. In a time when same-sex relationships are met with raised eyebrows and hushed whispers….the two women have built something incredibly beautiful behind closed doors.
With both women being prominent figures in the news industry both women have been slowly building their crafts and honing in on their unwavering commitment to delivering the truth. Away from the cameras and the lights, their young love is a sanctuary, a haven of warmth and acceptance. Through their busy professional lives, they steal moments in the quiet moments of their lives….away from the world that is not ready to fully embrace them yet.
Laura clears her throat and continues to glance at her tiles while examining the board inch by inch. The crinkle in her nose scrunches just slightly causing the woman to look even more adorable to the strawberry blonde sitting in front of her.
Alex watches the woman and her lack of patience is starting to show wit the tapping of her fingers. She sticks out her lips and clicks her teeth. “You can always forfeit…if you want.”
Laura ignoring the other woman places the tiles down on the board. “S-Y-Z-Y-G-Y.”
Alex’s mouth drops open and she squints her eyes back at the curly haired brunette who is trying not to laugh in victory. “Absolutely not…there’s no way that’s a real word. No way!”
Laura clears her throat and tilts her head. “An alignment of three celestial bodies in a system.”
Alex snorts and shakes her head. “That’s…you’ve been practicing this on your own.”
Laura breaks out in laughter and bites her bottom lip “When would I have time to practice on my own? When I’m not reporting on a story or doing research, I’m with you.”
“Well, I don’t know.” Alex murmurs under her breath before snapping her fingers. “You could be studying in the shower!”
Laura’s eyebrows go up and down as she leans slowly into Alex’s space. “Like I said…I’m with you.”
The memory of their shared shower earlier in the day lingers, a hot and steamy ember in the depths of Alex Levy’s mind. Her heart quickens and her palms grow clammy at the feeling of Laura’s breath traveling to her neck. Alex tries to speak, finding her next right words…but her voice gets caught in her throat. The woman in an effort to gather her composure clears her throat and blinks the warm haze out of her eyes.
“Okay…okay.” Alex drawls as she tries to get herself under control before leaning back into the couch. “Lucky turn.”
“21 points.” The other woman chirps before reaching over to grab a piece of popcorn and popping it into her mouth.
“Yea, yea.” Alex drawls again as she places four new tiles on the board before clapping her hands together smugly. “Boom!”
“PUNK.” Laura reads off the word her girlfriend just made with her tiles before furrowing her brow and smirking over at the brunette. “Uhh….nice job babe.”
Alex holds up her finger at the smirking woman. “Hey, it’s all I’ve got, so give me my 10 points.”
Laura still giggling to herself views the letters in front of her and suddenly a word appears to her in flash of brilliance. As she starts to place the tiles, she has to bite her bottom lip from keeping her smirk from turning into a triumphant grin. “O-S-T-O-S-I-S”
“Stop making up words! That’s not a word.” Alex snips back.
Laura full on laughing shakes her head and throws a couple pieces of popcorn at her girlfriend who has once again found the Scrabble dictionary. “You graduated summa cum laude from Princeton…in journalism. Which is basically….words.”
“I know words!” Alex whines to her before tossing the book down on the coffee table. “I knew we should have played cribbage.”
Laura Peterson ignores her pouting girlfriend and grabs the pencil off the coffee table. “So that gives me 7 points.”
“All that for 7 points?” Alex teases as she straightens up in her seat. “PUNK is looking pretty good now, huh.
“But, the last S is connected to RIFLE…which gives me a double word score.” Laura says as she continues to write on the pad. “Bringing my score up to 14.”
“Not bad Peterson, not bad.” Alex hums from her seat as she leans over to look at Laura writing down on the pad.
Laura glances up at Alex amused over the note pad before clicking her tongue. “And last but not least…50 point bonus for using all seven tiles.”
“What! Come on!” Alex gasps dramatically as she grabs the note pad to look over the score.
The curly headed brunette shakes her head and crosses her arms across her chest. “For a total of 64 points.”
“How are you so good at this?” Alex grumbles under her breath as she looks over the board for her next move.
Laura can’t help but smile brightly at her adorable girlfriend. “I also graduated summa cum laude….in words.”
Alex just waves off the other woman as she studies her new tiles on her tray….L, R, I, V, M, W, W. She can’t help but wonder why he agreed to play this game in the first place. Oh yea, for the opportunity to finally beat the hot woman sitting next to her. The news reporter bites her bottom lip with her teeth and places three tiles confidently on the board.
Laura’s mouth drops open and looks to the board. “VIL?”
“Yup.” Alex says with a pop in her voice. “6 points please.”
The curly haired woman can’t help but roar loudly before shaking her head. “VIL is not a word!”
“Is too!” Alex argues back with a wave of her finger.
Laura still laughing reaches over and grabs Alex’s finger with her hand. “Use it in a sentence Levy.”
“Pshh.” Alex sputters out confidently before leaning over to push Laura down into the couch. “I vil suck your blood!”
“What!” Laura laughs as Alex rests her body on top of hers and start to nibble at her neck with her teeth. She can then feel Alex giggle against her neck before reaching over to pat the woman on the butt. “That is not a word.”
“Are you sure?” Alex asks seductively with a raised eyebrow. “I can give you a demonstration.”
Laura can’t ignore the warmth moving south through her body but manages to clear her throat and form a coherent sentence. “What about the game?”
“Hmmm.” Alex hums as she glances over at the board before tilting her head. “We could keep playing and you would undoubtedly beat me.”
“I’m listening.” Laura retorts.
“Or…we could call it a tie and I could do that thing think you like with my teeth.” Alex suggests coolly before biting her bottom lip.
Laura’s mouth drops before she swallows her heated nerves. “The thing with the ice cube?”
Alex slowly nods her head before leaning closer once more into Laura’s ear. “Ice cubes…plural.”
“Tie it is.” Laura states immediately before grabbing Alex by the waist to lift her up and guide her down on her back against the couch to switch places. Alex lets out a loud yelp through her laughs before Laura’s lips capture hers in a passionate kiss as her body melts into hers.
Reality comes crashing back, like a sudden jolt from a dream. Laura Peterson blinks, finding herself back in the quiet dressing room. The memory once again…fades into the very back of her mind. She learned a long time ago that putting these memories in the back of her mind was essential in order to keep going. However, every once and a while she allows herself to think about how young and carefree she was. How young and carefree…they were.
Silence settles around her and she sits…the weight of the years and experiences feeling heavy on her shoulders. A knock on the open door brings her out of the silence and she looks over to see Alex Levy standing in the door way. Their eyes lock for a moment…each seeing the girl from their past.
“Do you mind?”
Laura’s mind goes blank and she simply stares at the woman before shaking her head and motioning into the room “Oh, no. Be my guest.”
Alex clears her throat and gently closes the door behind her before stepping closer. “Uh, so…”
Laura feeling extremely uncomfortable glances to the floor for a split second before pulling herself together. “So, are you going to the Mitch thing?”
“Do you remember when we saw R.E.M. at Webster Hall?” Alex asks after a beat, clearly not thinking or wanting to talk about Kessler in this moment. “Oh, it must have been ’95? Or was it ’96.”
“It was ’96. I uh…got them for us…” Laura stammers nervously before shrugging her shoulders and looking directly at Alex’s hands in order to avoid her eyes. “For your birthday.”
“I remember. There was a bunch of us….Joe, Sydney, and ….” Alex starts to say as she moves around the room with her hands before stopping in front of Laura. “Oh…that other lady--I uhh--don’t remember her name.”
Laura instantly rolls her eyes at the woman’s theatrics. “Maggie….”
“Oh yea…Brener.” Alex mutters before taking a deep breath and tilting her head. “I’ve been thinking about that night.”
“Huh?” Laura hums confused at where the other woman is going with all of this.
“Well, I’ve been thinking about many nights actually.”
The brunette guest host doesn’t know what to do with this information. What is she supposed to say? What does…Alex want her to say? Laura just clears her throat and starts to fidget in her seat.
“Alex.” Laura sighs.
Alex just walks over and places her hands on the back of the spare chair in front of where Laura is sitting. “I just never thought we’d get to a point where you didn’t like me….where you hated me.”
Laura can only snicker ironically under her breath. “I don’t hate you.”
“Then what did I do?” Alex asks again with her hands waving at her sides.
“Alex, come on.” Laura urges…not wanting to play this little game anymore.
“One day we were trying to be friends…you know…after everything.” Alex says confused as she starts to nervously glance around the room before her eyes get pulled back to Laura’s soft brown orbs. “And then…something changed. It was like you pretended like you didn’t even know me.”
“Seriously.” Laura deadpans as she sits straighter in her chair. “That…is how you remember that time? Do you even remember what was happening around that time?”
“Of course I--I do.” Alex stutters out.
“Because I remember it the other way around.” Laura snips as she points between herself and the strawberry blonde in front of her. “One day…you pretended like you didn’t even know me.”
“I was just trying to give you space.” Alex insists in her own defense.
“You knew me pretty well.” Laura chuckles coldly before tilting her head back at Alex. “Hell, you know me very well. Do you honestly think I needed or wanted space?”
Alex tries to take a deep breath before she thinks back on that time. It only takes her a moment to realize that she of course was in the wrong. The woman defeated just shakes her head in defeat.
“No.” Alex sighs sadly.
“I was outed by a rumor that found legs…and you got scared.” Laura states as she puts it all out there…not matter how uncomfortable it is. “You were being vetted for a field reporter position on The Morning Show and couldn’t afford a scandal.
Alex can’t help but feel ashamed at what the other woman is saying and her eyes drop to the floor. Thinking back on that summer she did get scared….and she did run before she could get hurt. The one thing she didn’t do was look behind her as she ran…it would have been too much pain to digest for the young woman.
“So, I honestly don’t know how you can stand there and twist it all around on me…accusing me of not liking you.” Laura argues back intensely as she again chuckles darkly. “Liking you has been nothing but heartbreak for over twenty years.”
Alex’s jaw drops to the floor and…no words come out. “Laura.”
“You couldn’t risk it…and just like that…” Laura states firmly, keeping her cool. “Everybody was talking about me.”
“They were.” Alex says softly under her breath as she nods her head. “Gossip seemed so much less vicious back then.”
Laura resists the urge to roll her eyes as her eyebrows raise. “Well, that’s because nobody was gossiping about you yet.”
“Yet…being the key word there.” Alex whispers back as the tension in the dressing room becomes thick once again….with both women choosing silence for a moment.
The tension is thick, and every word simply hands in the air…almost like they are unsure of where to go in the heavy cloud of pain and lost time. Laura’s voice is the first through the silence, filled with hurt and frustration.
“You bolted on me after things went south.” Laura states…her gaze unwavering.
Alex’s regretful and defensive eyes meet brown orbs again as her voice becomes edged with utter sorrow. “That’s not true.”
“You’re right…once things cooled off and you got married.” Laura starts to say as she thinks back on that special and painful time. “You allowed me to be around you and your family…including your beautiful little girl.”
Alex’s breath instantly catches in her throat as the weight of her actions starts to crush her chest. She thinks about the time around giving birth to Lizzy and how she so desperately wanted Laura to be a part of their lives…even if it was just a small piece. Growing up, Lizzy loved seeing Laura at various events and parties around the city. The bright and inquisitive little girl was drawn to the woman. Like mother like daughter.
“Lizzy still asks about you.” Alex confesses, her voice tinged with sadness.
“Well, she’s a smart kid.” Laura chirps back as her eyes instinctively start to soften. “She must get that friendships don’t always last.”
Alex smiles lightly before biting her bottom lip. She wanted to desperately to have a moment with the woman and figure out what exactly went wrong, but…she knows what went wrong. There is not a single part of Alex deep down inside of her that does not understand what went wrong between the two women. It was just in the moment of sitting next to her on The Morning Show and feeling like they were a million miles away…it all became too much to ignore anymore.
“Wow, I just….wow….” Alex murmurs through a quiet whisper.
Laura sits and watches the woman in front of her...her gazed fixed on the same face that used to take her breath away. Yes, the face now how a new wrinkle of two and her eyes show the years that have passed….but still the same beautiful face. Laura sits and studies the woman as apprehension swirls around in her chest. The brunette watches the other woman’s face closely, studying every expression…every single one. She can see the genuine sorrow and regret…intertwined with the new wrinkles and worldly eyes. It’s in this moment that she can see the pain she’s carried in those eyes.
Over the past twenty years, her pain has had a companion.
“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me.” Laura says warmly as she leans closer from the safety of her chair. “But…we are our actions.”
“Mmmmm…yea.” Alex whispers as the weight of the words continues to sink in. “You know…nobody warns you about this part of your life…when it just starts crushing you to the ground.”
“When what starts crushing you to the ground?” Laura asks confused with her brow furrowed.
Alex’s eyes well up with tears as her voice starts to break. “Regrets.”
Laura notices the curve of Alex’s lips and the slight bend of her brow, and the softness in her eyes. She can see the depths of Alex’s remorse and it becomes clear that Alex also feels the weight of their shared history.
“I should have said more….or less…” Alex drawls as she takes another long breath. “Probably, a combination of both.”
The room seems to hold its breath, the weight of their shared history and the words still unspoken…lingering in the air. The undeniable truth of the situation is that both women made choices that forever altered the fabric of their very lives. Choices…neither one of them ever though they would have made.
“If somebody would have asked you about you…or us.” Laura stars as she again taps into her cool persona. “What would you have said?”
Alex exhales a long before running her hand down her face. “I would have denied it and married Dennis the service table guy.”
“Oh my god.” Laura responds as a surprised chuckle escapes her lips.
“What?!” Alex exclaims as her eyes show hints of mischief. “He looked exactly like Kevin Bacon.”
“No, he did not.” Laura counters…now through steady laughs.
“He absolutely did.” Alex insists with a playful glint in her eyes before she gets stalled in the moment. “Wow.”
Laura tilts her head confused. “What?”
“Sorry.” Alex says through ha soft laugh, almost embarrassed at being caught. “It’s just your laugh…I’ve missed it.”
Laura smiles genuinely. “Yours too.”
“I wish I hadn’t screwed all this up.” Alex confesses….her voice thick with regret. “It would’ve been fun to have been friends the last few years…I could have used it.”
“I know.” Laura replies…her own regret evident in her voice.
Alex looks to her once great love with a sincere gaze. “I’m sorry Laura…I really, really am.”
“Hey.” Laura says as she resists the urge to reach for Alex’s hand. “I said shit about you too.”
Alex lets out a small laugh, relief and gratitude in the sound. “Perfect.”
“Mad shit…where do you think Maggie got all the dirt.” Laura teases with her trademark smirk resulting in another fit of laughs from the other woman.
Alex’s breath gets caught in her throat at the mention of Maggie’s book. But the woman keeps it together and smiles before breaking the silence. “Well, I really enjoyed doing the show with you today.”
“Me too.” Laura replies warmly.
The two women stare at one and another, their eyes fixed on each other as the news story gets louder from the TV on the wall. Laura and Alex gaze over to the television as the news story about rising tensions between Russia and Ukraine continues to play out in the background. Alex’s expression is the first to shift, disbelief and exasperation evident in her face.
“Just what we need.” Alex murmurs with a tinge of irony. “Putin getting his feelings hurt while we’re dealing with a global health crisis.”
Laura nods her head in agreement, her gaze fixed on the newsfeed. “It’s going to get messy…I can feel it.”
Alex shakes her head with her brow furrowed. “I mean…how do we even segue to Ukraine with everything we’ve been talking about the virus."
“You can title the segment-What the fuck Ukraine!” Laura chirps with a grin on her face.
“Mmmmm…” Alex hums confused before raising an eyebrow in confusion. “What?”
Laura knowing the reference has gone over the other woman’s head chuckles and shrugs her shoulders. “Uhh…nevermind.”
Alex mirrors her smile before nodding her head towards the door. “Okay, see you around Peterson.”
“Bye Levy.” Laura whispers.
Alex with one final nod walks to the door, their conversation sill hanging the door. Laura stays seated in her seat, her thoughts still swirling in her head. She finds herself staring at the floor as she hears the door of her dressing room open.
“Hey Laura.”
Laura blinks and looks up to see Alex standing in the open doorway. “Yea?”
“Ostosis and syzygy…still totally made up words.” Alex says playfully before walking out into the hallway.
A surprise laugh bubbles up from Laura’s chest and she covers her mouth with her hand…touched that Alex remembered. Of course…she remembered. The woman squeaks out a tiny laugh as the air immediately goes lighter…feels lighter.
Laura smiles fondly and again gazes down at the ground.
Of course she remembered.