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Looking at him and the way he transformed back from his animagus form, he looked like a shell of his old self, as if someone had stolen something from him and he didn't know how to ask for it back.
You stood frozen, not sure whether to strangle him into a hug until he was suffocated from your love or wait and see if he would even want you to touch him.
There he was, Sirius Black, on the front steps of the home you had both picked out after graduating from Hogwarts.
"Y/n?" His voice croaked out. "Say something, please."
The only thing that escaped your lips was a sob as tears streamed down, you gave into your inhibitions and ran to him, throwing your arms around his shoulders. He caught you the same way he always had with the same hug you always gave him when you were excited to see him after a whole summer apart, or whenever you passed a test and were overly anxious to tell him.
His arms circled your waist in the same familiar way you had almost forgotten.
"I love you, I believed you, I never stopped believing" You cried into the crook of his shoulder. You needed him to know that. You pushed back all the memories of the conversations and debates you had with Remus and other members of the Order who believed Sirius was guilty.
He gently pulled you away from him, taking you in from the last twelve years he saw you, murmuring as he stroked your tear-stained cheeks "I love you more, darling."
"Come in," You entwined your hands to guide him into your once-shared home, a home he barely had time in. "The place is pretty much the same."
"Your taste hasn't changed," He took in the decorations and furniture of the house.
You let your hand fall from his and nervously fiddled with your fingers as he looked around, "Hope you don't mind."
A half chuckle- half sob escaped from Sirius, "Of course not, love." He swiped his nose with the sleeve of the black and white striped prison robes. "What I do mind is you seeing me in this wretched state, I assume the bath hasn't changed?"
"Same as it's always been, let me grab you a towel and some fresh clothes." You rush off to the bedroom where you had kept Sirius's old clothes in a box and a closet where you store all the extra household items.
You heard the shower running from the thin walls and took a moment to gather your thoughts. He was back, he was not a murderer. He was back and he still loved you. You took a few deep breaths despite your heart still racing at the sight of him.
~~~
Weeks had gone by since he had escaped from Azkaban and waking up next to him in the same bed had not felt real.
Weeks turned to months and life had taken a turn for, what could be considered the best.
What brought you to reality was the nightmares you would coax Sirius out of, something you were used to doing even before Azkaban unfortunately. The only difference was there was nothing you could tell him now that could comfort him.
What did help was the fact that Harry knew the truth now and the reunion between Remus and Sirius had gone well. As amazing as that was, Sirius wasn't himself.
He lacks the flair he used to have; not that you minded, whatever made Sirius happy- made you happy. Whatever made him upset, equally affected you as much. You noticed Sirius has been trying to follow a routine in the same way he used to.
Tried the same hair products he used to use, it ended up with his hair sticking out in odd ways that frustrated him to no end, if he didn't love his long hair so much he would've shaved it all off.
Sirius attempted to style himself the way he once did and your shared room was littered with mountains of his clothes.
The results would put him in a foul mood.
"What's wrong, love?" It was one of Sirius' more difficult days. He didn't communicate his thoughts, he kept it all to himself and stayed moody for the rest of the day until he returned to his normal state of being.
He appeared to be zoned out, lost in thought, leaning on the counter in the kitchen with his arms crossed. He shook his head, "Nothing. Just thinking."
You broke through his arms, your fingers threaded through his hair, and he relinquished his hold to settle his hands on your hips. "Mind if I ask you what you were thinking of?"
He stayed silent for a moment, then two, inhaling a shaky breath.
"Am I as handsome as I once was?"
The question would have made you laugh if it wasn't for the poor-kicked puppy look he had. Sirius was rarely one to be insecure, it had you at a loss for words.
Your eyes scanned his, then the rest of his features. The curve of his naturally dark eyebrows, that matched his raven black hair. The perfectly shaped nose, and lips that you never got tired of tasting. His skin, smooth and the light freckles scattered on his face looked like a constellation.
It was true that he had aged, but as you had always expected, his age didn't take away from his beauty. A decade and a couple of years weren't going to take that from him like he was blessed by a god.
"Sirius, you have been and always will be beautiful to me," You confessed. You kissed both his cheeks, "You're more than beautiful, you're angelic."
You catch his eyes as he ducks his head shyly with a smile creeping onto his lips and give him a small peck.
He runs his hand through his hair and releases a breath while looking at the ceiling to keep the tears from running, "Thank you, love. I just haven't felt like myself since, well, you know. Nothing has felt the same, except for you." He squeezes your hips and brings you in for a tight hug.
"No need to thank me, Siri, I'm just happy you finally told me what was wrong." You kissed the side of his head and enjoyed the warmth of his neck before pulling back. "I'm sorry I don't tell you enough, should've known what was wrong by the constant outfit changes."
He chuckled, and you echoed his laughter. His smile dies slowly and he admires you in a way that has always intimidated you, the weight of his stare is heavy, "I suppose insecurity is the cost of having a goddess as a girlfriend."
His lips crashed onto yours and moved with such a consuming want and need for you. All of his kisses were loving and filled with a combination of emotions but this one took you back.
A nervous giggle escapes you, "Sirius-" You mumble his name against his mouth that continues to pursue yours.
"Yes?" He answered after you were unresponsive. He opened his eyes and stared at you, "I'm being perfectly serious."
"No, I am," You insist placing your hands on his shoulders.
He moved into your neck and trailed kisses down to the crook between your shoulder and neck, "I wouldn't be too sure of that."
You tried your best to ignore the fluttering in your stomach that was traveling lower with each suck and bite he gave you. "How about we do something haven't done in a while?"
"A while? Just the other day we-" He appeared puzzled when he pulled his head back.
"Not that!" You shook your head. "Come."
You lead him to the couch and gently push him down to sit, you then go into your bathroom and search through the drawers until you find what you were looking for. Back in the living room, you set down the materials you gathered and turned on the muggle television to whatever was on.
"What are you up to?" Sirius asked.
You pulled out the black nail polish from the pouch you held the paint bottles in and tossed his way with a last-minute 'Catch'.
"We're starting with this."
He lifts a brow, "Starting?"
"I'm helping you get back to feeling more like yourself," You sit on the couch, laying your legs across his lap, and bring his hands to settle atop your knees. "That's only if you want to, I just want to help and if you don't want to then we can find another way, nail polish was just a go-to back then."
You would've continued to ramble if not for him kissing you, being back with Sirius had brought back the little school girl in you that you had lost throughout the war, then again- he's always been able to bring out a different side of you.
"I want to," His voice was quick and encouraging.
"Good," You tapped his nose which made him scrunch it up. As you began coating his nails with a base, you felt a bit of courage to confess something you'd held in during the early years of your relationship. "You know at Hogwarts when we got together, some girls Marlene hung out with told me I wasn't good enough to be with someone like you."
"Someone like me?"
You hummed, brushing on the first coat of the black polish to the first dried base-coated finger. "Handsome, gorgeous, god-like."
Sirius tilted his head back and laughed, "God-like."
"Their words, not mine but looking at you now after all those years, they weren't wrong."
"They were wrong about you," He mumbled, laying his forehead against the side of your head and into your hair. "My perfect, pretty girl."
"You're wrong about yourself," You stroke his cheek with your thumb. "I love you."
"I love you."