Work Text:
He thoughthe was over this. He really thought so. He knows he has to stop. He wants to stop. But he takes out their spiciest sauce and dumps three more spoonfuls of it into his meal. Today's meal was prepared by Lan Huan and turns out their spiciest sauce was a gift from Wei Ying. Two of his favorite people, though he would never admit it to Wei Wuxian's face.
So, three more spoonfuls of chile de árbol in form of salsa macha go into his perfectly good tofu and veggies stir fry, but he can't help it and the tears just won't come out! He dumps another spoonful into his already red and oily mess.
"It's normal to fall back into old habits," he hears his therapist say in his mind. "It doesn't mean you've lost all the progress you've made. It just means you're under too much stress, too many unpleasant situations, you need something you know how to deal with."
Jiang Cheng huffs and eats some more.
"Well, fuck stress and unpleasant situations, and everything and everyone!"
He didn't say it, but he sure as hell thought it then and thinks it now again after eating one more spoonful of that red thing. He thinks it's now like 80% salsa macha and 20% the healthy stir fry Lan Huan had made. The tears still don't come out though, and... shit. He thought he was done with this!
He had started it around middle school, when he had mastered the art of crying silently, but still needed an excuse to cry in front of his family, so it wasn't obvious it was about something they said. Who knew he would develop a tolerance and a taste for it?
He's just about to dump another unhealthy amount of sauce into his meal, but there's a sigh on the door. He freezes. He should be alone. He was alone. He was going to be alone all day today. He was going to his family monthly lunch and then come back and be alone until Da-ge and Huan-ge came back from work, and that should be like at seven, at least. But there he is, Lan Huan, staring at him from the kitchen entrance, maybe not even breathing.
A tear scapes Jiang Cheng. Finally! He'd think if only Lan Huan wasn't here. He knows its not from the sauce.
"Stop."
A breathless word, but still an order from his lover, and what seems to wake him into action. Lan Huan walks up to him and holds his wrist so he isn't able to dump the whole sauce into the stir fry. Another tear scapes Jiang Cheng. He doesn't. Move one bit and lets it roll down his face.
"Don't eat that. You don't have to do this anymore."
Lan Huan guides his hands to put down the sauce and takes his plate away from him. He even guides his whole body to sit down on a chair. He had forgotten about it, eating while standing up in his haste to get rid of this feeling of-
"What happened, my lotus?"
Jiang Cheng looks up to Lan Huan and the dam breaks. First silently, like he used to all those years he lived at his parents house, then not quite do, like his partners encourage him to do so because apparently, it's healthy. He leans into his Lan-ge, smearing his tears and drowning his sobs and cries on him. Lan Huan hugs him and caresses his dark unbound hair and drws patterns on his back, and-
There's a gasp on the on kitchen entrance. Lan Huan turns slightly, Jiang Cheng moves his head up, and trough his tears, he sees a blurry Nie Mingjue.
"Da-ge..."
He winces. He sounds like a hurt animal to himself. "Too needy." A voice inside his mind provides, and he's too tired to fight it. He bits his lip and looks down, to the floor, trying to contain his tears and sobs. He doesn't even bother to lean back onto Lan Xichen. They'll throw him out, he's sure.
"What happened?"
"He hasn't told me."
Da-ge comes to him and carries him up. Gently, slowly, carefully. Jiang Cheng lets himself be carried around and cuddles into his other lover.
"Don't contain your crying, lotus, you must need it."
"I found him eating salsa macha."
"What?!"
"I couldn't cry! And it didn't work!"
"So, what did?"
"Huan-ge's concern."
Nie Mingjue leaves him on their bed, gently, then lies just beside him. Lan Huan places himself to his other side and covers them to the chin with their heaviest quilt. Jiang Cheng's tears keep flowing, his lovers keep cleaning them and kissing them away. Eventually, he falls asleep without telling them the reason for his tears. He's warm and loved and protected between his partners arms, and He knows, he can explain when he wakes up. Or not at all. He doesn't need to justify himself with these men.