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Loki and mobius walked through the time door into their shared quarters. Loki was in her female form; she had been for the past couple of weeks. Not only just because she felt feminine in the past weeks, but also for missions and whatnot. It was easier to investigate a man if you were a woman, you could get rather close very easily in the earlier centuries.
Now he didn’t though, he didn’t at all. He was feeling dysphoric the whole past 2 days. Mobius constantly showered him with compliments such as “beautiful” and “pretty” not knowing how it was affecting him. Everyone on the team kept calling him “she” and he knew it was because he didn’t tell them he was not feeling it anymore, but it still pained him. Sure, nobody was looking at his chest, or looking at his round jaw or his curves, but he was.
Now he was just glad to be home though, or as home as a decently small, shared living quarters could feel. He stepped into his bedroom/his and Mobius’s bedroom and switched, or at least tried to. He tried again, and again. His chest collapsed in on itself. Oh. I’m in the TVA. I can’t use magic, I can't change.
Why didn’t he change before stepping into the time door? They would never let him go back into the real world and switch now, it would be detected as a branch. A Loki being let into a timeline unauthorized? He would be pruned, along with whoever let him out in the first place. Oh no, oh no, no no why did this have to happen now, I can’t stay in this body I can’t.
Suddenly his chest felt like it was pressing against his shirt too hard, his hair was too long, his jawline too soft. The more he looked the worse he felt, his hands were not angular or big, they were small and delicate. His shirt and jacket were fitted, his own doing as well. He had used magic on it when it was given to him to really accentuate his figure. Now he regretted this, he felt absolutely disgusting.
He wanted to cry.
Something so unimportant, so stupid and he could feel the tears prickling from his eyes as if he were a small defenseless child. He ripped the jacket off, throwing it against the mirror facing his and Mobius’s closet. It hit the handle with a small “clink” of a metal button hitting against something hard. He almost ripped the shirt off too, he was in the middle of undoing the third button when he decided against it, he did not want to see any more of his body than he had to and was unsure of how many pieces of masculine clothing currently in the wardrobe across the room.
All he could do was push into the edges of his eyes with the palms of his hands and try not to ruin the eyeliner he had stupidly applied hours before. Falling back onto the bed, as if on cue Mobius then walked in, one hand nursing a mug the other holding a piece of paperwork. It was probably the piece of paperwork that told them how good they had just done, at the moment Loki really just didn’t care.
Mobius caught sight of Loki and immediately discarded his mug and paper onto his bedside table. He rushed over to Loki and sat beside him, taking his hands away from his eyes.
“What happened? I thought we did great out there, was it something I said” Mobius’s voice was soft, but urgent. Yes. Yes, it was something you were saying and doing, and everyone else was doing it too but it is not your fault. Loki thought to himself, he didn’t say it aloud.
He grabbed Mobius’s wrists and faced him. “I don’t want to be a girl anymore Mobius, I don’t want to. Please help me I cannot change, and everything feels wrong, and I want to rip my skin off and I just-” His face was tear stained now, he had stopped with his worthless attempts not to cry. His words were almost incoherent, and his voice kept changing. He forgot how much higher it was in his womanly form, so he was constantly going lower and then higher at the end of sentences when he forgot to keep it low.
“Woah, woah darling what? Why don’t you- ohhh we’re in the TVA”
“Yes. We are, and I don’t want to be. I can’t be I cannot be in this form anymore Mobius it's not right, I have felt like this for days Mobius days.” He pleaded, as if Mobius had any power over whether he was or wasn’t allowed to casually pop into a timeline really quick.
“If it would make you feel better, I could give you one of my shirts, one of the ones that are too big. As well as a pair of your average boxer shorts and pants. Would that help?” He looked into Loki’s eyes, his eyes were dilated, they had not turned the lights on.
“Yeah, thank you. Could you... get that?” He sniffled, letting go of Mobius’s wrists.
“You can get yourself out of that, I won’t look if you don’t want me to.” The bed bounced a little when he got up and walked over to the wardrobe. Loki unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and let it fall into a pool of fabric on the floor in front of him. While he was unclipping his bra a pair of black pants and a big TVA t-shirt hit him in the face. Accompanied by a pair of standard white loose boxer shorts in his lap. Mobius was already halfway out the door when Loki spoke again.
“Can you come back in a minute?”
“Yeah, I'll be back in a minute.” Mobius replied, his tone more relaxed than it had been minutes prior.
Loki changed, still feeling a bit gross but better, he contemplated putting his hair into a bun, but he often kept it down when he was in his masculine form anyway, so he left it down.
Surely enough, Mobius came back exactly one minute later and laid next to where Loki had made himself comfortable under the blanket. They both cuddled up next to each other, Mobius careful not to touch Loki’s chest or hips. There they fell asleep, until the alarm clock went off, and they were forced to go back to the office.
Though they got to go onto the timeline, and Loki was able to change back to his male form. So for today the work wasn’t too unbearable.