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Chapter Text

"Do you ever feel like a chess piece yourself? In a game being played against your will."

"Do you?"

"Constantly."

- Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, the Young Victoria (2009)

"Her royal highness, Queen Elsa of Arendelle."

It still sounded unfamiliar for her, strange and nerve-wrecking, to hear the new title that she now has, replacing the one that she has born and grew up with, no matter how much preparation her parents had given to her years ago, how she had lived under the constant reminder that she would be Queen one day as it was her birth-right during her teenage years.

And then there was the matter of her marriage.

It was common for royals to be courted since young, to secure allies with other kingdoms for the sake of their own, and she was no exception.

Her parents had decided, had planned it long ago, and had told her of the subject at the age of eighteen that she would be wed to a Prince of a neighboring kingdom.

He was the youngest of thirteen sons, the only one who was unwed and is the closest to her in term of age, being only two years older than she was. Excelled at being Admiral, he was a young man that her parents had deemed worthy of having her hand in marriage.

The thought of marrying someone she had never met before, a blank face she couldn't even imagine of, added with the fact that she was born with magic; truly frightened her. Yet her parents had a very throughout plan up the sleeves of their clothing, had even arranged for her wedding to be held when she was at the age of twenty-one, a fitting and ripe age for a woman to wed.

They were supposed to be there, to witness when their eldest daughter was to be a man's wife, to assure her that she would not lose control, that her magic would do no harm to her husband.

They didn't.

The sailing trip across the sea, one that they had promised would be finished in the mere time of two weeks, had proven to be their doom when a harsh storm has taken their ship and everything on it down into the depth of the ocean.

The tragedy had left her and her young fifteen years old sister orphaned, grieving for the loss of their parents, yet Elsa could not bring herself to open the door and recoil her relationship with the younger sister, the fear of harming her with her power was too great for her to take the risk, as she felt that at that moment no gloves were thick enough to prevent the ice from within to rage out.

Three years had passed since then and she had reached the age to be crowned to be the new ruler and take over the responsibility of her kingdom into her own hands, and to marry just a week after her coronation was held.

Yet in that moment, she could finally see her sister again.

Anna has grown into a beautiful young woman with, from what Gerda has told her, a bright and bubbly personality; one that was a stark opposite of what the older has grown to be. Yet she had held herself back when they stood side by side, and should Elsa was to guess, she was as nervous as she to start a conversation.

Thus why she had initiate it, no matter how awkward it had started off.

Unfortunately though, it has to end when the Duke of Weselton had request to speak with her, prompting her to dismiss her sister, politely asking for her to leave for the time being. Anna had reluctantly nodded, walking away and mumbling something about getting herself some chocolate fondue.

"I heard that you will be married soon, Your Majesty."

A subject she did not wish to speak of, especially not to a nosy duke like he was, yet she really had no choice but to nod her head. "Yes, you heard correctly of it, to Prince Hans of the Southern Isles."

Marriage and courting between members of royal families was not something uncommon to find, it was a way to secure allies and strengthen one's kingdom; thus the Duke's curiosity of it was something to be frowned upon.

His beady eyes reflected the light of the room as he look at her with furrowed brows and narrowed eyes. "After spending your life inside closed gates, Your Majesty?"

Oh, of course it was her years of isolation that was truly the matter at hand that he wished to know. Sneaky little weasel.

"It is a private matter that I will not discuss." Her voice had turned stern, one that matched the title of Queen, as she had to show him where and who he was standing with, of his position as a guest. "Now excuse me and enjoy the party."

She had stepped down from the spot by her throne, had walked onto the dance floor where her guests had parted way to let her pass once they saw her, and her eyes could not help but wander.

Because somewhere among these people, there was the man that would soon become her husband, she was well aware of that. He was to attend her coronation like any other, as the representative of his kingdom, only for a week later to be wed to her.

Among these people, his face was hiding in plain sight.

Yet it seemed that he had no intention of approaching her, to introduce himself to her. She supposed it was pointless, as their fate has been tied together anyway, but she would want to at least know the face that she would see at the altar.

She found her way to the balcony, closing the doors behind her to ensure privacy before she stood by the railings, elbows resting on the stone surface of it. Yes, she understood why her parents would want her to fully devoted herself, mind and body, for the sake of her kingdom; it was the cost of being the firstborn of a royal family. Anna, on the other hand, had far less responsibilities if compared to her, yes she still received tutoring and studies, should something was to happen to her older sister and she had to step in instead, still it was not as heavy as what was put on Elsa's shoulders.

All she could hope for was for her future husband to be able to share the burden with her.

His eyes were green in color.

Having spent some time by herself out in the balcony, Elsa had returned back inside, knowing fully well that disappearing for too long could raise suspicion, people would notice her absence and would question about it, worse they would assume of her being an irresponsible.

Thus why she had returned back to the same spot she had been standing by, by her throne, where she could watch those inside the ballroom, the skirts that flared as ladies spun in a dance, servants going around offering drinks.

It was when he had approached then, bowing respectively before her, and she found herself in his company, at the very least for a few minutes. "Queen Elsa."

Nodding her head at him, she regarded him to stand back tall. "And may I know who you are?"

"Prince Hans of the Southern Isles, Your Majesty."

A blank face turned into a fully detailed one in a snap of her fingers. The mysterious Admiral, the figure that had been nothing but guesses and her mind's own rough sketch, had become fully known, alive and breathing, a true man standing right before her eyes.

"Prince Hans."

She had imagined him somewhat rough and buff, almost like pirates from her childhood stories, considering his title in the navy; it was the easiest for her to imagine him as.

He was neither of those.

The man was well-build and tall, at least a head taller than she, groomed into perfection with well-kept auburn hair and tailored suit, and should she paid closer attention she could see the freckles adoring his face from being under the sun frequently.

"Forgive me, for not approaching sooner." He bowed his head, prompting her eyebrow to rise at the coincidence that she had been looking for him earlier. "You had just taken my breath away back then."

Flattery, it was what he was full of, apparently. Perhaps it would have worked for other women, would have make their cheeks blushed and heart fluttered, but not she. "There is no point in sweet-nothings, Prince Hans; you have my hand in marriage already."

It was his turn to raise his eyebrow then, either out of curiosity for her dismissive words or the fact that she hadn't given him the reaction he would have expected, she could not tell. "Indeed I do." He nodded, green eyes flickering to meet her blue ones with a glint that had her almost raising her own brow. "Yet I still feel the need to prove myself worthy of it."

An ambitious man, and one who worked for what he want, a good trait to have for someone who she will have to be by her side in terms of ruling over her kingdom.

"Then you have a week for that."

Chapter Text

For thirteen years she had practiced this.

Thirteen years behind closed door, in a room coated in layer upon layer of ice and frost that had to be cleaned over and over again every time she had slipped and lost control, behind the door that had separated her from the outside world, she had practiced to be the proper Queen and to suppress her powers.

Despite it all her hands still shook as she sat at her vanity, facing the mirror, the young woman staring back at her was terrified as she slipped the gloves on, and she took deep calming breaths until she could display a neutral face.

"Your Majesty,"

The first time she had been called that, in the coronation ball by her guests, she had shuddered. People would refer to her that way now, every single one of them, as long as she wore the crown on top of her head. Now, in the morning, the title had only made her head tilted up to see the Gerda's reflection on the mirror, standing in the middle of the room.

"Breakfast is ready; everyone has been alerted as well."

First day of her reign as Queen started with her in the Dining Hall surrounded by people that had once filled the ballroom, people that had zero knowledge of who she was and what she was capable of and yet still demand so much of her.

She could not lose control, not even the tiniest of bit.

"Very well." Nodding her head as she stood up, brushing her gloved hand over her skirt to dismiss the nonexistence wrinkles, she turned to the trusted maid. "Do have someone to check on Anna, I fear that she may fall back asleep."

Gerda had smiled then, in both amusement of knowing how the Princess could do exactly that and for the fact that, no matter how they were separated for so long, the Queen remained thoughtful of her younger sister.

"Of course, Your Majesty."

She could see them all.

Seated at the head of the table, she was allowed the sight of those who sat along the long dining table, see those discussing between themselves, a practice of overseeing she must say, tiny should she compared to looking over her kingdom.

And while she could see them, they could see her.

The center of attention, the one everyone would love to engage in a conversation with, the one they directed their eyes at, watching and judging the new Queen.

It did nothing but made her shoulders heavier.

After all these years of being isolated, have no one but her parents and a few servants, having people barely know her at all; being the one that people looked at, for people to try and figure out, it made her chest tightened and fists clenched against the silverware she was holding.

Being the Queen’s sister though, Anna had her seat to her right; and in contrast of the new ruler, she very much enjoyed the attention and conversations that she was engaged in, talking with so much excitement that most dignitaries opted to talk to her instead, perhaps far more comfortable than trying to engage in light talks with the frigid Queen.

“You look absolutely stunning this morning, My Queen.”

The praise for her appearance was to be expected, she had received some before from her other guests in a way that they thought would attract her attention, make them stood out in her eyes. They also used it as an opening for a conversation with her, one that usually had the aim of strengthening the bond between the kingdom they represent and Arendelle.

Thus his attempt of compliment had only being met with a polite nod and a small smile at his way.

It was clear in his eyes that Hans had very much realized this; once the words had slipped passed his lips and he had not received the reaction that he had hoped she would give him.

“I would very much love to visit your beautiful kingdom,” The Princess had given the French dignitary a bright smile as she spoke, pleased that she had actual people that she could talk to. “And surely my sister would love to come too, isn’t that right, Elsa?” She had turned to the platinum blonde haired Queen, forgetting herself as her hand moved to clutch her sister’s, sending an immediate jolt throughout her sister’s body as the Queen quickly pulled her hand away.

“Anna, what are you doing?!” Her hands shook as she clutched them close to her chest, blue eyes wide as she glared at her younger sister, who had a matching shocked mixed with a tad of fear in her eyes. Had she not been wearing gloves, Anna’s hand would’ve freeze, the whole table would’ve freeze over; all of her hard work of concealing would’ve been in vain just by the foolishness of her sister’s act.

“I’m… sorry.” Anna’s voice was small as she cowered in her seat, turquoise eyes just as wide, terrified by her sister’s sudden outburst from such a small cause. “I got ahead of myself.” It left her heart guilt-ridden, to see how terrified her own sister was of her, yet if it was what it took to keep her safe, then she shall do it.

Looking up, all eyes were on them now, and Elsa herself wished she could cower down, to pull into herself, to run into the safety of her chambers, anything to free herself from the towering dignitaries that made her felt so small. Yet she wouldn’t, she had the duty to be Queen, and what kind of a queen cowered away from those who were supposed to be the ones who were under her ruling?

Straightening herself in her seat, she took a deep breath to keep her powers at bay and put on the mask she had mastered in having for so many years. “Just,” her voice had once again calmed, full of authority that she was expected to have, and out of the corner of her eye she could see Hans watching her so intently. “Control yourself next time, Anna.”

Chapter Text

She did not stay for longer than it was necessary.

After the small quarrel between the two sisters the breakfast had been uneventful then, the Princess had reduced into a more composed self, no more of her expressing through the gestures of her hands, though still her smile remained for the dignitaries to enjoy while the Queen had once again settled to eat her breakfast quietly. The dignitaries had not addressed her further until the end, taking her recent outburst as a sign of her unwillingness to talk business so early in the morning, and it resulted in a pleasing public appearance with no incident for her.

While some of her guests had remained in the dining hall to converse among each other before moving to attend to their daily activity around the castle that had housed them for the full week, Elsa had excused herself to leave, claiming that she had paperwork already waiting for her to attend to in her study, which really wasn't a lie in the first place.

Her main reason was to get herself out and away from the people, one successful breakfast was not a sign that she had total control of herself, and should she was not being careful someone could get hurt and secrets would be revealed, she was no fool to stretch herself beyond the limits that she had made herself.

"Your Majesty," the masculine voice calling out for her stopped her abruptly, turning to look at the man even when she had memorize his voice from the moment they had conversed in her coronation ball, raising an eyebrow at his direction for him to explain himself on why he had addressed her. "You seemed to be in a rush."

Reminding herself that she was not to fall for his attempt at engaging her in a pointless conversation, no matter who he was and who he was going to be for her, a person is a person and they could get hurt should she slipped. "Some of us have works to do, duties to attend to." It was not her intention to sound so cold, but it seemed like the only way to shake people off of her.

"Then I shall walk you down to your study." He moved to offer his hand to her yet pulled it back when her eyes had narrowed. She had beginning to open her mouth in protest, he had interrupted her. "Please, I insist."

Realizing, from the look on his face and the glint of confidence in his eyes, that the Prince would not take 'no' for an answer to this, Elsa had no other choice but to accept his company before anyone else would join them. After all, a moment with he who would soon become her husband was better than staying completely in the dark, unmoving like a sitting duck by the pond.

"I take it you don't like being touched, Your Majesty?" Hans had kept himself at a respective distance, at the very least, yet his attempt of having a conversation with her had made her mentally cringe at his poor choice of discussion. "It is not that uncommon, yet still don't you think you had been a little too harsh on your sister? After all, people do make mistakes."

Her lips were pressed in a thin line as her jaw tightened; perhaps she have just insisted harder on declining his offer instead of letting him walk with her, truly if this had been his whole personality then she couldn't even imagine how her life would become once they were married, a pestering husband was the absolute worst choice of addition to her already complicated life. "She took me by surprise." It was the best way she had come up with to explain as direct as possible.

"You don't like surprises in your life?" One of his eyebrows was raised as he addressed her once again, tilting his head to a side in wonder.

"No."

She would have run, should she had no company with her, when she finally saw the door leading to her father's study, her study now, yet instead she held herself back and willed her mind to hold on just a little bit more. When her gloved hand could finally reach and hold onto the knob, she almost breathed a sigh of relief before turning to the man that had stopped just beside her. "Thank you, Prince Hans," she said, nodding her head politely. "Your company has no longer needed now."

He bent forward in a respective bow; with one arm over his stomach while the other on the small of his back. "Of course, My Queen. I am pleased to be your company, no matter how brief it was."

He should have just stopped at the 'of course', it would have been more than enough for her own personal preference, thus why she had only given him another nod as she opened the door and walked in  though had only managed to swing the door halfway closed before she stopped when he had begun to speak again.

"Do tell me, should you need company again." His voice was; if she had not been imagining it, far more sincere than before, enough to make her glance over her shoulder at him. "I would hate to have you feel so alone."

What does he know about being alone?

He has twelve older brothers, from what she had read about his kingdom when it was decided by her parents that she would wed him, and he surely had never have the need to isolate himself away from anyone, he would not understand what it was to feel alone.

Unlike her, who had spent half of her life behind closed doors, Prince Hans had traveled to so many countries, earned himself the title of Admiral through hard work instead of birthright like she did with her title as Queen; she and him had shared nothing in common.

Pushing the paper she had been signing away, the newly appointed Queen rested her head on her folded arms that she had on top of the mahogany desk, fists clutching tightly that they began to shake from both force and the coldness that had started to risen back up.

Anna would have done a better job than she would ever do.

She was everything the people would need. Her friendliness was beyond measure, her kindness would brighten the world, people loved her the second they met her. With proper training and lesson, she would have been an extraordinary Queen.

Hans would have loved her, she would very much appreciate the sincere attention that he had struggled to express to the frigid older sister, she would have been a good wife to him; she would not cause him trouble like freezing the bedroom whenever she lost even a friction of focus and control.

Anna was preferable.

Chapter Text

He actually pitied her.

Previously he had cared less for the details of his Father's arrangement of his marriage with the Crown Princess of Arendelle, as he was the only one out of his Father's thirteen sons that had not yet wedded, for as long as he could get out of the kingdom he had born and grew up in, the castle that had served him as nothing but an over-the-top prison, he would very much so accept it.

Lars had convinced him to at least study about Arendelle, to learn of their history so that he would fit effortlessly into becoming the member of its royal family, and to know a little of who he was marrying.

The latter was proved to be a short read.

Actual detailed information about the Crown Princess seemed to have stopped being added when she was merely eight years old, at the same time as to when Arendelle's castle had suddenly closed its gates, shutting people out from knowing what could possibly be up with the royal family. Even at the death of the King and Queen, the gates remained tightly closed.

The mystery had taken his interest, if only just a little, as he did not want to bother himself into doubting the marriage, just as long as he could be far away from his brothers, he would be fine. There was nothing in the world that would compared into what his brothers were capable of doing, not even a princess who had never been seen after her childhood.

Finally, at the age of 23, two years above his to-be wife, his Father had sent him sailing to Arendelle, with everything he ever owned, to attend to her coronation as Queen and to wed her merely a week after.

She was young, a little too young for the crown, to bear the responsibility over a kingdom on her shoulders, yet Arendelle could not wait any longer; it needed a ruler to sit on the throne. He supposed that he would have his share of responsibility later on, something that he himself could not wait to have, as he believed that he was capable of it, no matter how his brothers had belittled him about it.

Yet when he had finally seen her, for the very first time as she was crowned in the chapel, he had a slight doubt if she was truly ready for it.

She was well educated and well trained for it, prepared for the position for years, and yet it was not about her lack of study that made him had his doubts, instead it was what had come from within her. Nervousness was understandable, it was normal, even the smallest of fear that accompanied it; yet the fear in her eyes was overwhelming. She appeared so fragile, to be treated so cautiously as not to break her, and even with the expectations she must have been weighted with, there was just something else about her.

No matter how hard she had presented herself as a strong-willed, wise young Queen that should be respected by those under her ruling, she could not hide what she was from him. It was all but a mask that she put on.

He should know; all these years he had done the same.

“You shouldn’t go there.”

With a brow quirked up in wonder, he had turned to see the Princess approaching from across the hall, one of his hands remained on the doorknob, just about to turn it and enter the library at the other side of the double doors. “Why?” He had found his way there before, had sit inside to indulge himself in reading the books lining the shelves to pass the afternoon as he waited for dinner.

“Elsa is inside.” It was said matter-of-factly, as if everyone should have known the unwritten rule, as the strawberry blonde haired Princess had finally come into a stop near him. “No one is allowed to disturb her when she’s in the library.” She had added after perhaps noticing the confusion in his expression. From the way she had said it, it seemed that this rule had been established long before he had even know the relation between him and this kingdom.

He considered in leaving, just until Anna was out of sight, before returning because the older sister was exactly who he had been looking for, yet he went against the idea, realizing that tampering with Elsa’s peace would only drive her further away from him. Instead he had nodded understandingly, hand letting go of the brass knob. "Would you mind if I ask you to accompany down in the gardens, Your Highness?"

There was a slight widening of teal eyes as his request has taken her a little by surprise, yet her head nodded so quickly. "Oh yeah, sure thing!" If the older sister had been calculative in every step that she took, he found the younger to take actions without a proper thinking first, she was young and careless. "And uh, just call me 'Anna', no need to be so formal, I mean I'm not that Princess, you know."

His own head nod politely as he clasped his hands behind his back, perfect smile on his face, falling into a matching step with the Princess. "Very well, Anna." There was a bright smile that grew on her face, satisfied that he had followed her request, as she led them both toward the royal garden.

After all, if he wished to know more about Elsa, then who would better tell about her than her own sister?

"What is this?"

Anna truly has such a bubbly personality and talkative mouth that would not stop if not being interrupted, he had found himself barely speaking and more into listening to whatever that had come up into the Princess’ mind, yet unfortunately for him she had barely spoke about Elsa, and he had slowly grown bored. Thus when he had seen the strand of platinum blonde hair, the exact color of the older sister’s hair, he had voiced his wonder on that instead.

“Oh,” Her hand went up to touch the said hair as she looked up at him and shrugged. “I was born with it. Although I dreamt I was kissed by a troll.” A strange dream indeed, as trolls were nothing more than a myth, and one that he wasn’t sure a Princess her age would have.

“I like it.” Unlike Elsa, the second-born Princess received compliments openly, accept them with a smile full of happiness as he knew she yearn the attention and interaction with other people. And she did exactly what he had thought she would, to smile shyly as she turned her face away from him.

If he could not open the door to Elsa’s heart, then he would use the window.

Chapter Text

She looked like a thief in her own castle, sneaking with cautious step each time.

Now, if he would find her when he didn't even intend to see her then he really should not have bothered to try and catch her in the first place. Because there she was, walking out of the library, all by herself, and he had stepped back around the corner just as she had turned to look around in case there was other people in the halls before she closed the door behind her. When he peered around, she had her back toward him, making her way down to her study, it seemed.

If she reached that door before he could catch her, then he would not have a chance to talk to her before dinner.

Thus was why he had took long quiet strides to catch up with her, and when he had laid his gloved hand on her shoulder, she tensed up almost immediately, moving so fast to get herself free before he could actually held on, eyes wide in shock before they narrowed at the sight of him.

"Have you been spying on me?" A full blown accusation thrown at him, yet he would not blame her for it as she had not seen nor hear him until he himself had made his presence known. She was flexing her fingers, he noticed, rather nervously as her jaw tightened.

What a strange thing.

"I can promise you that it was never my intention," mustering one of his best smiles, he had kept a respectful distance by not taking a step forward after she had taken one back. "Nor was startling you, as I know you don't like surprises."

Her lips pursed in return of his smile, just as unamused as she was before no matter how much he tried to coax her into giving him a genuine smile. "What could you possibly want from me?" She was holding something back, he could tell, yet far too polite and proper to actually spat it up his face. "I need to work."

His fingers ran through his auburn hair then, looking at her apologetically as he let out a quiet sigh. "Was it wrong for me to wish to know you little better?" Surely she too would find it a little easier to know who she would be married to in more details than what could be found in books, to actually speak to the man she was to share her life with.

"Have you grown bored in the company of my sister?" He had never expected that from her. When his mouth moved to speak she had held up her hand in a gesture to silence him. "I saw the two of you in the gardens. Do not think that you're the only man that has tried to use my sister's innocence to gain information regarding me."

She had been watching them then, up from the library's tall windows, to see him walking with her sister by his side; it made the tiniest part of him wonder if she had been jealous. "Forgive me, for you are such a mystery to the world that I could not help but wonder why you have kept yourself hidden for so long." Kings and Queens who has a daughter as beautiful as she would have presented her to the world instead of doing what the King and Queen of Arendelle had done; they have gone against royal traditions.

"But do not use my sister like that, I expect for everyone to respect her the same way they respect me; that includes you, Prince Hans." Against the common belief that has started to spread amongst the dignitaries that Elsa could care less about her younger sister, the way she had scolded her the other day at dinner truly has them all in a state of shock, she apparently cared deeply for Anna, no matter how much Anna said she had been ignoring her for years. "And it is my business and mine only; you do not have to bother yourself into minding it."

"Please forgive me should I speak outside of my boundary but perhaps it would be wise if you give the Prince a chance, Your Majesty."

Her eyes had darted from her own reflection on the mirror to the reflection the middle aged maid then, an eyebrow raised in question. "A chance?" Had she not been giving him one, by not truly shutting him out like she had done to the rest of the world?

Gerda had nodded as her hands continued to undo the Queen's platinum blonde hair from its bun for the night, it was a task meant for her ladies-in-waiting yet she had not yet dared to have anyone else but the maid to prep her to sleep. "Most grooms in an arranged marriage would not even bother to meet their bride before the wedding, Prince Hans has tried his best to know you, I would say give him a chance of an actual conversation with you, Your Majesty."

Yet until Gerda had left the bedchamber, having finished her duties for the day, the young Queen had stayed silent, eyes watching her own face on the smooth surface before she had finally got up and made her way to her bed.

She had never have anyone so close to her since her isolation, had been pushing them away for their own good, the fear of harming anyone else like she did Anna had always been gnawing her insides. Yet she hasn't been losing control, at least not until she froze everything she ever touched, and perhaps she should give him a chance indeed, for they would share their lives together soon enough.

But would she really be that foolish, to test herself so far out and so on edge just because ice had not yet shot from her very fingertips in a few days of her ruling?

"Do you play?"

Green eyes followed the gesture of her hand toward the chess set that sat in front of her, nodding as he made his way to sit on the chair across of her, a silent answer to her question.

It had confused him when he had received the invitation from Kai, who had waited for him to return from his riding at the stables, as it was as vague as it could possibly be.

The Queen had invited him up to her study.

When he had asked her about it, as he watched her made the first move with her white pawn, her eyes had flickered up to see him with an eyebrow raised. "Yes, or else you would not be sitting here with me." She nodded at the board, allowing him to make his own move.

"May I know why?" He hadn't been bothering Anna with questions, just as she had requested him to, had only been engaging in small light talks whenever they had crossed path in the castle.

“To talk; isn’t it what you had wanted the other day?” She had actually considered him then, despite her cold and uninterested persona that she had been displaying. “I realized that you do have a point in wishing to know me a little more than others do, agreeing into a marriage to a total stranger would have bothered me too.”

He had patiently waited for her to voice what she wished to say, as willingness was the best way to draw her out of her shell, being pushy and impatient would not lead him anywhere but more closed doors.

"Do you ever feel like a chess piece yourself?” She had murmured to him then as her eyes remained on the pawn that she had just moved one square forward. “In a game being played against your will."

No, he hasn’t. His father had enough sons to involve in whatever game the politicians have to play, he was more than just an extra piece to add; he was a wasteful, forgotten, and worthless pawn that served no purpose for his father. Elsa was the Queen in the game, the strongest most influential piece of the board. "Do you?"

"Constantly." Her fingers delicately moved her horse and removed the black pawn belonging to him before she looked up at him, and he could see the exhaustion in her eyes, gleaming as a silent cry for help, though he could not figure what she could possibly need from him. “I see them leaning in and moving me around the board.” When he asked her of who she was referring to, she had only scoffed with a bitter smile on her lips. “Everyone. I'm sure half the politicians are ready to seize hold of my skirts and drag me from square to square.”

She was a young Queen, barely passing her twenties; he wouldn’t be surprised that they do. She was the perfect, unprepared young lady that if manipulated correctly would listen to the words of someone she considered trustworthy. “Then you had better master the rules of the game until you play it better than they can.” Because no matter how many books, how many lessons and tutors that had taught her, she was lacking of an actual experience.

There was a small smile, just the tiniest that grew on her face, as her bishop made a move across the board. “You don't recommend I have a husband to play it for me?”

“He should be one to play it with you, not for you.”

Chapter Text

The morning sun of July looked so warm.

The light came filtering through the tall windows, brightening up the meeting room where she and her Council men were sitting, and she dared herself the pleasure, if only just for a moment, to imagine herself walking outside in the royal gardens rather than listening to the older men surrounding her.

Subject concerning the wellbeing of her people has come up into their discussion, on what was the best option there was that she could take that would work for both the people and the kingdom.

“I do wish to help them, whatever you say.” She could not possibly have those under her care to suffer, to not enjoy life like others, her parents would not have agreed to that. “And not just the laboring poor, but the hungry and the homeless, and... There are people who are lost, and whose business is it to see to their welfare?”

“Well, in my experience, Your Majesty,” one of them shifted in his seat, Lord Melbourne, clearing his throat to make sure that his voice was clear and able to be heard by the whole council. “It's best to let these things develop naturally. If you interfere, you risk overturning the cart.”

Her eyebrow rose at this; though she had expected for one or two to disagree with what she had decided on, as they always do or else every meeting would have been far quicker than it was, she still could not help to react upon the statement that indirectly had told her to just sit back. “Well, Prince Hans doesn’t agree.” They had talked about the subject the night before, during their game of chess, and she was pleased to find that his knowledge of the world and political business could serve as an assist to her own duties. “He's made a study of the working man's condition; he's full to the brim with ideas for their improvement.” Impressively enough, he had actually used his free time actually studying in the library when she was not there, to actually make plans to offer to her later on.

A mixture of impress and disbelief was shared between the men before her as they mumbled among themselves of this Prince Hans that would soon enough stay by her side more permanently than he already did now, it made her consider if he should attend meetings with her. “Is he indeed?” It was Lord Melbourne’s turn to raise his blond brow now at her direction as his hand went up to his chin, finger running over the cleanly shaved skin. “How inspiring.”

To make her council men reacted in such way made her unable to resist the tug of small smile on her face. She had been underestimated due to her young age and her status as a lone Queen, the latter was one of the reasons on why her father had arranged her to marry so quickly despite her magic, as public still view men as far more superior and capable in running a kingdom than a woman. As much as it annoyed her that people thought she was unprepared, she could not help but appreciate how her betrothed was able to serve her.

“How inspiring indeed.”

In public eye it might seem unfair for her to prefer the company of him than of her sister’s.

In hers, in the truth that none could know, it was her way of protecting the sister she loved more than anything in the world. Call it cruel, but she rather not hurt Anna than trying to go back to what they were once before, back when they were young and has no fear of even being in the same room together.

And though fearful, this time she took his offered hand as a way to prepare herself with his more constant present, as the date of their wedding was coming nearer, and the nights she spent avoiding her could not stop it.

“What did you want to say?” She received a look of wonder from him then, which she returned with a knowing half smile. “In the short amount of time of knowing you, Prince Hans, you always seem to find something to say.”

At this, he chuckled, his free hand running over his auburn hair, apparently finding that her being thoughtful as amusing. Yet after his face has gone back neutral, expression controlled, did he give her a sincere smile that almost seemed like he … pitied her. “Only that I understand more than you think of what your life is.”

“Do you?” Though she doubted that he did understand, as he did not share the same struggle that she constantly had to face for the safety of everyone that had come close to her, she was intrigued into knowing what would make him think that he did.

“My childhood wasn't easy, either. I have twelve older brothers.”

“I know. But I don’t think I follow.” Yes the King and Queen of the Southern Isles do have a large amount of sons, all married but him, yet she could not find the exact problem it would pose to the youngest.

“They’re,” there was a pause, as he contemplated on how he would word it out to her. “They’re not always the kindest.” He hid something from her, she could sense it, and even when he tried to conceal it from her, she could guess that his brothers had treated him worse than one could consider as normal. “My point is; I know what it is to live alone, inside your head, while never giving a clue as to your real feelings.”

That was unexpectedly hitting closer than she had expected. As he had spoken it, she realized that he had unintentionally described what she felt. But was it all just a coincidence? “Did someone ask you to tell me that?”

“No.” His chuckle had returned, as if the Hans that had spoken of his brothers in a way of someone that would rather not know them was never there, and once again he had flashed a smile at her direction. “Actually Lars, my third brother, told me never to mention it.”

“Yet you did.” He was not a man who always listened then, and though she had expected herself to find that irritating, as she normally would as a practical woman, she didn’t. She actually found it quite… daring.

Again with the smile that now, instead of annoying her, had actually prompted her to return it with one of her own. “Yet I did.”

In the darkness of her bedchamber, in the privacy behind closed doors where she could let go, even for just a moment, she began to wonder.

Of his green eyes and his auburn hair, of his charming smile and gentle expression, of the warmth of his hand despite the gloves that stood between their touch; she wondered of the Prince of the Southern Isles.

The one prince that would soon fill the empty space of the large bed she slept in, of the man that would stayed by her side, the one person that she dared herself to imagine what reaction would he give her if somehow she told him of what she could do.

She wondered if she was actually… falling in love.

Chapter Text

Father would not have approved of it.

For her to slowly push through her limits, to risk everything, yet she could not stand it any longer. Should she make one wrong move, she could have hurt those she cared the most, but she had started to question on whether keeping herself hidden from the world while she also had to rule over a kingdom would be wise.

She had been walking through the halls, exercising herself into meeting people and greeting them instead of locking herself in one room with nothing but her paperwork and her ladies-in-waiting that would sit around and busied themselves as they waited for her, when she had caught the glimpse of strawberry blonde hair from the corner of her eyes.

Truthfully, she was still a little afraid of engaging into a conversation with her sister, afraid that should she was careless Anna would have being harmed again, yet was she truly such a cruel older sister that she would avoid the younger throughout their lives?

“Anna,” it must have been unexpected for the Princess to hear her voice calling for her, for she had skidded into a sudden stop as her head whipped around so quickly she wondered if her sister would get dizzy from it. “Where are you going?”

Turquoise eyes were still wide as the Princess stared at her older sister, processing the reality of whether she was imagining things or not, before she regained her composure again. “Out, to the town, on a carriage.”

The gates had been closed, yet it was not as strict as before since they had guests that she could not possibly lock inside the castle as her parents had did with her and Anna, and should anyone wished to get a whiff of fresh air then they should ride a carriage instead of walking. Evidently, the Princess had discovered this temporarily rule the Queen had made, and she too had wished to use the privilege.

She should have just nodded and left then, let her sister have the sliver of freedom and enjoy it herself, yet her lips had decided on another course. “Would you mind if I come with you?”

“Sure! I mean no, I mean I don’t mind, I mean,” Anna chewed on her bottom lip then as she looked at her sister sheepishly before she cleared her throat and patted down the nonexistent wrinkles on her skirt. “Yes, let’s go together.”

The strawberry blonde haired Princess had earlier requested for an open carriage, no doubt so she could enjoy the breeze, and though Elsa would have much prefer for a closed one, she did not complain as she climbed in and sat by her sister’s side.

There was nothing but silence between them as the carriage made its way through the gates, and already Anna shifted in her seat, feeling awkward in the presence of her own sister. “The weather is… nice.” Such a horrible topic to discuss really, even she would have wrinkled her nose at it, yet she really had nothing else to say.

Again the Princess turned around so quickly she must have been lightheaded if she was in the younger sister’s position, surprised to find that the Queen had initiated a conversation with her once again. “Yeah, it truly is.”

A small smile tugged on her lips before her blue eyes darted downward and then away to see the buildings that had started to grow over the horizon. Now what should she discuss the next? She truly did not know a lot about Anna, other than the common things and those she remembered from their childhood.

“How are you feeling?” Her eyebrow had rose as she turned to look at her sister, confused and quite surprised herself with the sudden question, for the younger had voiced one that she wasn’t quite sure what should her answer be. “With the wedding, it is tomorrow, yes?” The Princess had apparently able to catch on with her confusion and had added for the sake of keeping their conversation going.

Tomorrow everything in her life would change, the life of the whole castle, of the whole kingdom, would have changed. Tomorrow, there would be a ring made of gold around her finger that would serve as the constant reminder that she was a married woman, one who had sacrificed her freedom to choose her groom for the good of the kingdom she served.

How did she feel?

“I don’t know.” If there was one person that she would be most honest with, one person that she would admit of her actual feeling about the arrangement her father had made for her, then it would be her sister. She never wished to push her away, if only it had not been for her own good, and at the very least she could be open about this. “Hans seemed to be a good man; he could help me to be a better leader for Arendelle, it is just that I…”

“Do you love him?”

Love. She wasn’t even sure what love is, romantic one at the very least. She loved Anna, she was her dearest sister; she loved their parents, they knew what was best for them both; she loved her kingdom, she had sworn to protect it. But love for a man, one she had just known for a mere week? Last night, when she had thought about it, she had begun to wonder if what she felt for him was truly love, yet now she had felt that it was such a foolish thought, one that had come up because the day had exhausted her and made her into thinking of things that wasn’t entirely logical.

“It’s rarely ever about love, Anna, not for royalties like us.”

It felt like forever since she last heard that signature knocking.

Yet she remembered it like it had been yesterday.

It had been the day when the empty caskets of their parents had been lowered to the ground while their bodies had been lost in the sea, she had kept herself locked inside her room, her powers had gone beyond her control as sadness raged inside of her and she knew that she could not present herself to anyone.

Anna had gone to their funeral, to both being the representative of the royal family and to mourn for the loss of her beloved parents, all by herself. When she had returned back, she had knocked on her sister’s door, and her voice cracked with broken sobs as Elsa listened from the other side, silently mourning with her sister though separated by a single wooden door.

Ever since then Anna’s visit had decreased, it not had been as often, and though it hurt her, Elsa had wished that her younger sister had beginning to give up, and perhaps then it would have been the best for the both of them.

Now that signature knocking had returned, and Elsa had made quick silent steps from her vanity to her door across the room, just to listen to what Anna had wanted to say just as she had called for her name.

“Do you maybe wish to sit and talk?” the strawberry blonde haired Princess had offered, and she pressed her gloved hand against the smooth wooden surface as she pressed her ear against it. “Or perhaps let me in?”

She could not, both of them knew that.

“It is your big day tomorrow,” the younger had let out a small sigh, and the Queen had to really strain her ear to catch it. “Is there anything that I could do, for you?”

It was tempting for her to just turn the doorknob and open the door, to let her sister in after years of closed door, but she held herself back. No, her room was her last defense should anything bad were to happen, it was the last thing standing between her and the world, to let Anna in would be breaking the walls she had built for years.

Thus why she had kept it tightly closed.

Chapter Text

She felt naked without her gloves.

Father had told her that however helping the gloves were, there would be a day where she would have to stand before her people without them, that she had to be prepared for everything that could possibly happened and should not be entirely dependent on the one thing that has served as a barrier for her ever since the incident that had happened during her childhood.

Yet still, she felt the need for them, especially for today, a reassurance that she would have survived through the day without an accident.

Her control had improved, she dared to say that, as she had not yet froze the bouquet of flowers held in her hands as she did with the scepter and the orb during her coronation, yet her fingers had itched as she waited behind closed doors, listening to the muffled sounds inside.

“Your Majesty,” Kai had remained silent as he stationed to open the doors for her, and though he hasn’t said anything but addressed her, she already knew what he had meant. “It is time.”

The song changed as the doors were opened, finally revealing the bride that had been long awaited, and she took her first step, heel digging into the soft red carpet that had been laid out for her, where he was waiting for her at the end of it.

Should her father had been alive, he would have walked her down the aisle, to hold her and perhaps whisper reassuring words that she would be alright, that he would not let her slip and fall perhaps. Yet he wasn’t there and she had to walk alone, as neither her father nor her mother had any sibling to take their place. Her eyes caught the sight of her sister, standing at the front row as she was her only family, and she realized that as her older sister she would walk her down the aisle when the time would come for her to, and she would, she made a silent promise to herself for that.

When she had reached the end, and the bouquet had been taken from her hands, his replaced it as they stood face to face with each other before the priest, and though slight she could feel how his hands tensed for a moment, causing her to take a quiet deep breath as she attempted to reduce the coldness in her hands against his equally bare warm ones.

The priest’s words blurred into the background as she repeated the mantra she had grown with, to conceal and to don’t feel, to never let anyone know of her curse, and she used his green eyes to focus on instead, seeing the way he watched her.

They were as entrapping as always, and for a moment she had forgotten where they were or what they were doing, though she had been reeled back into reality when his lips moved, realizing that her turn would soon come.

“I do.”

His hands slipped out of her grasp, and while his left hand held hers, he used the other to take the golden band resting on the purple cushion, slipping it around her ring finger before she did the same with his, careful and precise to make sure that the ring would not slip off from his finger.

With a dull thump the leather-bound book was closed as the priest laid it on the podium before turning his attention back to the man and woman before him. “Queen Elsa of Arendelle and Prince Hans of the Southern Isles, through their words today, have joined together in holy wedlock. Because they have exchanged their vows before God and these witnesses, have pledged their commitment each to the other, and have declared the same by joining hands and by exchanging rings, I now pronounce that they are husband and wife.” No matter how often she had reminded herself that this marriage was necessary and that she had prepared for it ever since she was eighteen, her heart still skipped a beat at the words, as not only she was fulfilling her father’s decision, she was too doing so in the eyes of God. “Those, whom God hath joined together, let no one put asunder. You may now kiss the bride.”

His hands left hers for the second time, coming up to touch the ends of her thin veil, moving it up until it rested against the top of her head to reveal her face. Both leaned forward until their lips met, and she was thankful that his hands were busy holding her, for her fingers curled around her skirt, a thin layer of frost forming beneath her touch. Though it was not for the way that he kissed her, his lips were soft and cautious against hers, instead it was from her own fear of hurting him through the kiss; thus why she had directed her powers to her hands instead.

Cheers from the audience came after they had pulled apart, and as her last test in the chapel, she let her fingers curled around the dark burgundy jacket he wore as they stood before the people with a smile on their faces.

Tradition required her to be carried all the way to their bedchamber.

His hold against her was firm, strong, his arms unshaking under her weight. Not once did he swayed, his footing true and able to keep the steady pace as they made their way through the halls. All the while she had kept one arm around his neck to serve for her own steadiness, while her other hand curled over her chest, eyes watching how his jaw moved as his green ones remained focused on the way ahead.

Her ladies-in-waiting opened the door for them, though they remained outside as they closed it, as they were not allowed to be present during the wedding night, not even to assist her into getting out of her dress.

Hans lowered her to sit on the bed, letting her watched as he started to undo the buttons of his jacket and the vest underneath it, and her eyes widened at the sight, for she did not think that he would have be so bold after being so cautious and keeping his distance at the respectable limit before.

“Would you really sleep in that dress?” His eyes watched her, as he always did it seemed, and she could feel the warmth climbing up onto her cheeks at the absurd thought that he had put into her mind.

Standing up from the bed, she had her arms crossed over her chest as she returned his look with narrowed eyes. “Of course not.” Making her way to the changing screen, she found her nightgown ready and hung neatly at the other side, and she pulled at the ribbons holding her dress together before changing into the comfortable piece of clothing.

When she had emerged back, fingers undoing the tight bun and releasing her platinum blonde hair from the many pins and ribbons that had held them together, he has already stripped down to only wearing white pants, bearing his bare back for her to see. She had never seen a man’s body before, pictures of it in some of the books she had read yes, but never with her own two eyes, in such a way that made her unable to hold the boiling heat on her face, at the very least it had rendered her powers for a moment.

Clearing her throat, she had gained his attention as he turned to face her, and her blue eyes drifted down to his muscled abdomen before she snapped her attention back to his face. “I’m going to sleep.”

He was silent for a moment, and she suspected it was from how confused he was for she opted to sleep than to- “Of course. But do you really sleep with gloves on?”

“I-” her head lowered down to look at her gloved hands, lips pursed as she only did that to protect him, and she looked back at him with sharp eyes. “It’s comfortable this way.” He had nodded, though she doubted he truly understood, and had let the topic go, at least for the night. Making her way to the bed, she climbed onto her side of the bed, one closest to the big triangular window, and kept her back toward him as she pulled the thick blanket over her body. “Good night, Hans.”

“Good night, My Queen.”

Chapter Text

She was so cold to the touch.

Their skins have brushed against each other throughout the night, and every time he was rudely jolted awake by it, for the cold bit against his, so much that his dream had consist of an actual block of ice every now and then. It was truly odd, for there was no chance that she was shivering, the windows were tightly closed and the blanket was so thick it would block the wind anyway should there be any. She was just truly cold from the inside.

He was already quite awake to watch the first glimpse of sun rising from the horizon, to see the light came filtering through the large windows and made her skin glowed under it, basking the morning warmth. Though he did shut his eyes when the figure beside him started to move, depending on his other senses to acknowledge his surrounding, feeling the mattress shifted as she rose up just as the knock on the door came.

It was her ladies-in-waiting; he would guess, ready to bath and prepare her for the day to come. The door creaked opened and hushed whispers came from several of women, proving his guess to be right, and soon enough he heard the muffled sound of water being prepared from the bathing chamber.

“He is still asleep.” Elsa had answered in an equal whisper, and he dared himself to take the tiniest of peek, finding her standing by the standing mirror, two pair of hands just starting to peel her nightgown off her body, and he shut his eyes as fast as he could before he could catch a glimpse of the skin she had not yet let him to see.

Keeping himself as still as he possibly could, he waited until the sound of the door leading to the bathing chamber to click shut before he let his eyes to see the morning light again, turning his head toward the window, seeing how beautiful the fjord really was in the morning with its blue waters without having himself distracted by the sleeping figure that was now only a door away from him.

Now none of the thirteen sons of his father was unwed, though he was sure he was the only one who would wake up in the morning and has not yet seen his wife’s body, even refusing to take a peek; the thought of how his brothers must have mocked him for being the gentleman that he wanted to be did bring out a low scoff from him. They would have make their way with her, whether she would feel comfortable of doing so or not, for their own pleasure or to avoid whispers that would surely come if they do not consummate their marriage.

Yet he would rather face whispers than to fall in the footsteps of his brothers. He was better than them.

Every single decision, every single action, she had made or chose would have consequences.

Her ladies-in-waiting, though cautious and was only prompted by their curiosity that able to beat their fear of disrespect, had questioned on why she had not yet consummate her marriage with the Prince, who was still sound asleep when she had awoken. It was no secret that they would have to listen in; some even peeked through the small openings, during the Queen’s wedding night before they would report it to her council.

It was why she dreaded the morning meeting, for she knew what should have been a private matter for normal people and yet not so much for royalties, would surely be the one topic the men would try to pry from her.

Hans had offered his company for her, yet she had declined, as it was awkward enough to discuss it with her council, the addition of him would only made her unable to think clearly, not to mention she would not able to control what he would say, and God knows what would come from his mouth.

The Council Men were bolder in term of asking, they did not hold back nor give her the room of comfort, they demand answers whether she would want to give it or not, and they had bombarded her the moment she had sat at the head of the table.

“We were both exhausted and wish for nothing but to rest.” The party had lasted up until midnight, or at least for them anyway as the guests had continued on even after the bride and groom had left the ballroom, and she could only imagine how most of them were still in bed while she was already up and about. “Besides, we were to secure our alliance with the Southern Isles through marriage, and I have done exactly that.”

“Yet you have refused to acknowledge the scandal that now would grow should people find out that the Queen had refused to bed her own husband.”

“Then do not let them find out.” Of course she acknowledged the possibility of scandals; they thirsted to hear of the latest royalties’ scandals, treated it as a form of amusement for them. “It may be a matter of the kingdom’s politic, yet it is not for public consumption, so I expect you gentlemen to keep it that way.”

“And should they start to question about heirs?” Lord Melbourne’s eyebrow rose at her direction as his dark eyes watched her. “Surely they would expect you to be heavy with child soon, or else they would think you’re barren.”

Heirs. It was a topic she did not wish to discuss, avoided it at all costs should she was able to, for she was not ready for it. The thought of bearing a child when she had to bear the curse she had born with, the fear of bringing another life into a risk should she truly lost control, to lose her own flesh and blood at her own hands; all were too great for her to even consider. “One thing at a time, please.”

“Your Majesty, there might not be time-”

“I am young, am I not? I have only reigned for a mere week; married just yesterday, surely the thought of heirs have not yet reached anyone’s mind but yours.” And should anything were to happen to her, Anna is her heir, she would always be, as long as there were no children coming from the Queen’s womb yet.

Yet against her own words, it was not that she did not wish to be a mother, she wanted to experience it too like any other woman do, to be happy as she held her own child in her arms. She dreamt about it, the small chubby face staring back at her, the one person she would love so much even more than her own life. But the risks were too great, and no matter how unholy it was for her to think in such a way, she would rather be barren than to bring harm to her own child, or worse passing down her curse and have her child suffered the same fate as she.

It was far too dangerous for her to dream.

Chapter Text

Her decision would bring her sister to come see to her, sooner or later.

Now that she has at least had more trust on herself than she did before, she had requested to enjoy her afternoon tea in between her duties out in the royal gardens, with her ladies-in-waiting keeping distance as she had wished to have the moment for herself, and none should be allowed to come and disturb her for any royal matter until she had finished with her cup of tea.

Her younger sister was not a royal matter that she could avoid, unfortunately.

For the strawberry blonde haired Princess had come approaching her, though unlike when she had caught her about to have a carriage ride, this time her expression had already told the Queen of what she wanted to say, at  the very least the base of the problem.

“The gates are closed.” Anna’s breath came in short huffed pants, making her wonder if the younger sister had been running all the way from the gates to see her, though she did had opted for quick paces when she had come into the gardens. “Why the gates are closed, Elsa?”

“I see no reason to keep them opened.” The dignitaries and the other guests had been sent back to their respective kingdoms, as there was no more need for them to stay in Arendelle any longer than necessary, should they wish to discuss trades then she was able to be reach through letters before the final meeting that would require her to see them face to face. It was also her way of getting the weight and tension of risk of her power being discovered off her shoulders, as the less people there were in the castle the better. “Besides, it has been this way for us, is it not?”

“But what’s stopping us from keeping them opened?” The Princess questioned, brows furrowing as she watched her sister took a sip of her tea, blue eyes still refusing to meet her turquoise ones and instead fixed onto the garden before them. “You’re the Queen, you can do anything.”

“Then I’m stopping us.” Her head had turned then, to see the face of her sister who had nothing but confusion as her expression. Her tone has been as bitter as the beverage she had been drinking, flat and left no room for argument, because this discussion about opening the gates and letting people in, to risk a lot, has beginning to tire her.

“But why? I don’t understand-”

“That’s right, you don’t.” Anna never understood, she would never. Yes partly it has been her fault and their parents’ for not telling her anything but claiming that it was ‘for the best’, but it was true. All they had done was for her own sake, for her own safety, for it was how it has to be. What was best for Anna was best for her.

The look of betrayal on her beloved sister’s face hurt her heart nonetheless. She must have been so confused, being kept in the dark for so long, wondering on why everything had suddenly changed, why she suddenly found herself wandering the halls of the castle all by herself.

“I’m sorry, Anna.” A simple request for forgiveness was not enough, she was no fool to be unaware of that, and she wasn’t even sure what she was asking forgiveness for, as there were too many faults that she had done to her younger sister. “Please, excuse me.” Her tea had only been half-drank, yet she knew she wasn’t going to be able to finish it anyway, and she had stood and left then while Anna remained standing still with her head hung low.

To protect her, she had to hurt her sister’s heart over and over again.

Her arms wrapped around herself as she took a shaky breath, the temperature around her must have dropped, for her power had started to build back up at her hands, right under the gloves she had been wearing, and she had to control herself before anyone had beginning to notice.

“Your Majesty-” one of her ladies had started, yet stopped at the shake of her head, prompting them to retreat back just as they were about to approach her.

Making her way up to her study, she had managed to close the door and locked it just as ice began to form at the corners of the room as she pressed her hands and forehead against the wooden door, breathing heavily as she tried to gather her emotions back in control, for it was the only way she could reduce the effect of her powers.

Yet the ice remained unbothered, even when she had tried her best, to focus on nothing but the cold, and she slammed her fist against the door in frustration before she turned to lean her back against it instead, body sliding down until she sat on the floor with her knees pulled close to her chest as her first sob broke out.

She couldn’t laugh, she couldn’t cry, she couldn’t even dream nor live without her powers bursting out of her, she wasn’t able to do anything; the control that she thought she had was nothing more than her foolish hope that maybe someday everything but be back to normal and that she wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.

“Elsa?” There was no knock, nor that it was a female voice that had called for her, yet she kept her head on her folded arms, hiding her face from even the sunlight that came pouring through the frosted windows due to her own doing. “Please, let me in.”

He must have heard of how the Queen had ran away from everyone after her conversation with her own sister, had heard how much of a terrified child she was, and she couldn’t even bear the thought of how weak she must have looked in his eyes. “Leave me alone.”

“Haven’t I told you that I know how it felt to feel alone?” Yes, he had. Yet no matter how alone he had felt was nothing compared to what she had to go through. He might understand the loneliness, yes, but not the struggle or the pain of the constant lies she had to tell her sister. “All I wish is to help you. Please, do not shut me out.”

She shut everyone out, what could possibly make him different than them?

The marriage had given her nothing but another life put at risk, a man that could have avoid all of this yet forced to, given the situation that both had to fulfill their duty as royalties, pawns pushed together to form a stronger alliance. She couldn’t even begin to understand why father had chosen to marry her off, knowing what she was capable of doing, why he had told her that he was proud of her even when she was so out of control, why he had trusted the kingdom to her.

Someone like her should have just exiled herself, perhaps up to the mountains where she would not hurt anybody else, where perhaps she could let go and see just how much her powers truly capable of. Yet of course as Queen, she would have to remain in Arendelle, to serve it just like she had vowed to.

Chapter Text

A man would not be changed merely by gaining a marital status, if any; he would actually become bolder than before.

Her life had fallen into a constant and repeated cycle with her duties as Queen as her first priority above all, for Anna had begun to avoid her again after their last encounter that had left both sisters in the state of distraught while she had Hans assigned to the small duties that would involve him more with the public as he was far more capable of handling them than she.

Hours she would spent in her study, overlooking paperwork and reports that had come to her way, of letters with various of seals that bear different offerings and trades with Arendelle’s neighboring kingdoms, of notes from her meetings with her council as they constantly in attempt to find the best solutions for the people that would be profitable to both.

She had thought that the knock on her study’s door would come from one of her council members, or perhaps one of the servants that came to report of anything that may happen inside the castle, instead she was met with the delicious smell of the food tray brought in by the auburn haired man that was supposed to be down the docks and oversee the shipping of trades instead of here.

“Why is it that you love to miss lunch?” He had questioned as he came to stand in front of her desk while one of her brows had rose at him. “This has been the fourth time that you did this week.”

Had he actually counted it? “I’m the Queen; it is my duty to care for my kingdom.”

“Yes, yet you wouldn’t be able to do so should you get sick.” He had placed the tray down on the low table instead of her desk, thankfully, for it was full of important papers that she would be so upset with should they be ruined.

She had never fallen sick before, it was one of the very few good things that her powers had come with besides her immunity against the coldness, no matter how low the temperature was. “Weren’t you supposed to be somewhere else?”

His brows furrowed then as he straightened up. “I have finished earlier than I have originally thought.” It was a must that she admitted his ability to work was far better than any of her council men, better than her, and she began to wonder if he truly had prepared himself ever since he was young even before he knew that his fate would be sealed to be a Queen’s husband. “And I was informed that the Queen had not eaten anything since breakfast despite not even finishing her meal then.”

His attention to even the smallest of details was remarkable too, he paid attention to everything around him, he paid attention to her no matter how their marriage had gone as nothing more than a mere social status as they had not yet fulfilled Lord Melbourne’s wish for them to consummate either.

“You could have sent a servant to bring the food to me, no need to trouble yourself like so.” Though she did appreciate his attempt to care for her, she found it unnecessary for him to come and see her directly to deliver the tray and his scolding.

His shoulders lifted up in a shrug as he approached her desk once more, hands clasped behind his back as he came to stand behind her, looking over the papers before her with a tilt of his head. “I do not see why I should not care for my wife ever once in a while.”

It was the first time he had ever addressed her as his wife, not even during his appearance at one of her council meetings regarding the kingdom’s trade partners did he called her so in front of her men, only addressing her as the Queen or Her Majesty instead, and it sent a strange chill down her spine that she had no explanation behind it.

“Well then,” she had cleared her throat as her eyes remained fixed on the paper, though she had failed to actually read the words written with black ink on it, somehow too distracted with the man behind her. “Your service is no longer needed, husband, thank you. You may be excused now.”

She did not expect the chuckle that had come from him either, or the way he had leaned down to better see the papers, and has he not been aware that his breath was so close to her neck now? “I could help you here to overlook some of these, that way you may be able to actually join me and Anna for dinner.”

Another pair of helping hands and fresh eyes would have been a great help, yet could she truly spend her day with him in such enclosed space? Sure they had slept in the same room, in the same bed, for weeks now, yet it was different for both were well… asleep. To have both awake and aware of each other was another story.

“I still need you to oversee the upcoming trade with Corona.” She had instead told him as she had took one of the opened letters from the top drawer at her left, holding it up for him to take. “I was informed they would come tomorrow around noon, should the waters were friendly. Could you please see the preparation to welcome them?”

There was an amused smile on his lips that she caught from the corner of her eye as he took the letter from her hand. “Of course, My Queen.”

She watched him make his leave then, letter in hand, though her call for his name did made him stop and turn to look back at her. “Thank you for the food, I truly appreciate it.”

His smile return, the one she had remembered from their past encounters back when they were not yet married to each other. “Please eat it soon, before it gets cold.”

She was tired and yet her eyes remained opened.

The Northern Lights had made its appearance outside of the large window, dancing gently over the dark sky of the night; they reminded her of Anna.

The sky’s awake. The Princess would say as she climbed onto her bed, hands shaking her sister’s shoulders to awaken her from her sleep, asking for her to build a snowman with her power, back then was harmless and produced nothing but beauty and fun.

For the first time ever since their wedding, she had actually turned around until she face the man beside her instead of only giving him her back to see, blue eyes watching as he snored lightly in his sleep, face so peaceful that she envied him, for even in sleep she sometimes still had to face her fears, her nightmare of the night she had hurt her own sister.

Perhaps it was her own exhaustion that had pushed her to reach up and cautiously laid her gloved hand against his face, feeling the slight shift he made under her touch before he settled back in without even much of a flutter from his eyes, and she took a quiet deep breath as she let her eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of his skin.

Should she not possess magic, then she was sure that falling for him would be so much easier.

Chapter Text

It was all but a game of gambling with her.

For if she had been in a good mood then the chances of her agreeing to what he has in mind would be bigger, yet if she had not then he may as well never have his hopes up for she would refuse straight away without even an explanation from him.

Whichever her respond would be, he would make sure that he was at least prepared for if she had agreed.

He had just finished buttoning his vest when she had entered through the bedchamber’s door, his letter in hand, with an eyebrow raised questioningly at him as she closed the door behind her. “What is the meaning of this?”

“An invitation, of course; what else could it possibly be?” His chuckle had come from his amusement of her question, for he was quite clear in his writing over his intention to her. He would have asked, in the joking manner, of whether she had read it or not, yet decided against it for it has clearly been opened and it would only foul her mood should he had spoken so freely.

Still she was taken aback, as she was silent for a moment with the look of disbelief clear on her face, before she had regained her composure once more. “You cannot just… write an official letter to invite me for a horse-ride.”

“Why not? The weather is quite nice today; it would be a waste if we do not enjoy it.” And for him to write to her officially was just his way to gain her attention, for her to come searching for him, as if he had merely asked she would only brush him off without even a consideration at his way.

Her lips pursed as she eyed him, of the riding clothes that he had dressed himself in, and her arms crossed over her chest. “I am quite busy today.”

“I promise we would not be gone for long.” She considered it, no matter how she tried to mask it, he knew she was. For her to take a small break from her duties, just to enjoy the warm sun, however dedicated she was to her title, she must have felt the need to take a break and to let herself breathe. Blue eyes adverted away from his gaze as her lips moved in a mumble that he could not quite catch. “What was that?”

“I can’t ride.” She repeated, just a tad louder, and the blush growing on her cheeks was so apparent against her pale skin. “I don’t know how.”

Well, that served as a little problem, though nothing he could not handle. The reason on her inability to do such task was quite apparent; he realized a little too late, for she had been locking herself inside her bedchamber for so long, he wasn’t even sure if she has a horse herself. “You can ride with me.” They were married; after all, no one could gossip that the Queen was being inappropriate if the man she was riding with was her own husband.

Perhaps she realized that he would not back down, he admitted he has been quite insistent on a few things with her, this has been added to the unwritten list; for she had sighed with her shoulders slumping down in defeat. “Fine, but only for a short ride, I wish to return before dinner.”

Has this truly been her first time on riding a horse for so long?

Her fingers curled tightly around the lapels of his jacket as her cheek had been pressed against his back, and he hasn’t even been urging Sitron to go fast, they were nothing but slowly trotting through the valley just outside the castle’s walls; yet it seemed that she was afraid.

There had not been a word that came from her, and the silence was not the most comfortable one, besides his intention in bringing her into riding with him was for her to open up to him, to let him in so he could understand her better. “Have you never had a riding lesson in your life?”

She did not answer right away, remaining silent for a moment that he began to question if she truly had heard him. “I had, once.” Her voice was quiet as her fingers curled tighter around the fabric in her grasp. “When I was little my Father gifted me a pony and I learned to ride it.”

It seemed to upset her, for some unknown reason, of discussing her childhood, thus why he had not pressed the topic any further. Perhaps it was around the time where Arendelle had suddenly closed its gates, when suddenly there was not a single word of the royal family heard to the outside world other than the very common ones.

“This place looks decent for us to stop for a while, wouldn’t you agree?” He had only felt the nod of her head against his back as a confirmation before he had unmounted his steed, and just like when he had helped her up, when he had held her waist while her hands held onto his shoulders, he could feel her tensed up under his touch, and she had shaken his hands off her as soon as her feet touched the ground.

Even out in the valley, beyond the castle walls, her shoulders remained straight.

The tension on her muscles were clear, her back rigid as she stood by the tree, shielded away from the sun, watching the gleaming blue water of the fjord below with her arms wrapped around herself as he came to approach her, having lead Sitron to graze on the green grass after he had carried them both on his back.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” She may rule Arendelle, yet he was in doubt that she had actually seen it as a whole, having mainly stayed inside the castle. He had seen the glory of the kingdom when his ship had come to dock, to see it rise from the horizon as he grew nearer, on how peaceful it looked.

“Yes, it is.”

He had taken his jacket off then, with her eyeing him and asking on what he was doing, though he had only given her a smile as he laid the piece of clothing onto the ground before he sat beside it, gesturing for her to join him on his jacket as to not ruin her dress, which she reluctantly did.

They fell into a light conversation regarding things that he knew she would not mind discussing, which was quite challenging in his part as he truly had to be careful to keep the atmosphere between them as it was, though the more they talked the more she fell into some sort of comfort as she had smiled more than before.

“I suppose Lord Melbourne is as bothersome as always?” She had given him the impression that he was her least favorite council men, though she really did not favor any of them seeing at how demeaning they could be to her.

An amused scoff came from her as the corner of her lips tugged into a small smile. “As expected of him.”

He had wished to help her in matters more than just trades and deliveries, as much as important as they were, he knew he was capable of more than just that, he had spent his years growing up learning with Lars on how to be a ruler that could bring their kingdom prosperity, though his meaning to learn was once to help his father, yet the King had never expressed his interest at the youngest prince.

Yet Elsa had not trusted him enough either.

His way for her to recognize his ability was to be her husband, not for mere status but her actual husband, one that she would love and trust with her heart. Driven by this desire of him, he had leaned forward, seeing how her eyes fluttered as she was unsure of what to do, even when it would not be the first time that they kissed.

Her lips were as cold as it had been on their wedding day, sending chills down his spine, unexplainable as he had never known someone’s whole body could be so cold even during summer, yet still it had been as soft as he had remembered, gentle and innocent.

The kiss was brief, as she had pulled away and advert her face from him, though still he was able to find the blush that crawled up her skin. “Can we go back now, before it gets dark?”

“Of course.” He promised that they would be back before dinner after all, and he was not going to break that promise to her.

Besides, she had not avoided his kiss, even when she could have just recoiled and tell him no, and it had told him what he needed to know.

Chapter Text

He was not supposed to be distraction for her.

Yet after what had occurred during their outing the other day, of the kiss that she had allowed to happened between them despite the fact that she had once wished for him to keep his distance with her, his presence had haunted her mind, enough to make her unable to sleep well in the night, scowling at him who slept just fine on the other side of the bed.

The lack of sleep in the night had left her restless, her mind finding the mean to focus harder than before, that she truly had to furrow her brows during meetings whenever her mind had slowly drifted away and the discussion with her council faded into the background.

Though the mention of a certain topic did jerked her mind awake as she turned her attention to Lord Russet, a middle-aged man with thinning hair and round glasses over his face which frame made of gold, who watched her as he waited for her respond. “Excuse me?” She had to be certain that what she had heard had not been wrong, that he had not just propose for her and Hans to-

“A honeymoon, Your Majesty.” He had repeated, and her fingers curled on the table as she attempted to push down the thought of her with Hans to spend time to actually do nothing but to consummate their marriage after refusing to during their wedding night. “I believe it would improve your relationship with Prince Hans to be better.”

“I do not think it’s quite necessary.” It would require her to leave, no matter how long or short the duration would be, her duties and work abandoned for a certain amount of time while she had to somehow figure out of the way on how she would even allow herself to be so intimately involved with her husband. And if she did not find a way then it would be all but a waste of time and fortune that she could use to better the lives of her people.

“Quite the contrary, Your Majesty, we think it is.” Another man had spoken up then, though her mind was still occupied on attempting to wrap itself around the idea of honeymoon to pay attention on who it had been speaking. “The wedding has long since happened, sooner than you would think people would begin to expect for an heir, you would have no other excuse then. They would begin to speculate themselves of whether you had bedded your husband, especially since you have displayed very minimum amount of public display of affection with him.”

If she was to conclude of the point her council men had been trying for her to get, then she dared say that they wish for her to give her marriage more feelings and for her to produce an heir, whether she was happy nor agree to it all was deemed to be unimportant.

And she had sworn to serve her kingdom in the name of her father.

The sunlight had not been shining that brightly, and yet she was still required to be shielded away by the umbrella one of her ladies-in-waiting had carried as she made her way across the courtyard of the castle.

She was informed, when she had asked Kai of the whereabouts of her husband, that at this time of the day when he was not down in the docks doing the duties that she had ordered him to attend to, he favored to practice his swordsmanship with the Captain of the Guard.

And indeed, the two men were focused solely on their practice, so engaged in it, swords clashing against one another, that they had failed to acknowledge of her presence. It had not bothered her mind at all though, as she found the view to be quite the entertainment, seeing how they moved fluently as they switched between defending oneself and to attack in order to win.

“Excellent form, Your Highness,” the Captain had complimented once his opponent’s blade had only an inch away from his throat, earning an amused chuckle from the auburn haired Prince as he wiped his face with a damp washcloth. She was no expert in such sport, sword-fighting was more of an Anna thing really as the younger sister used to play with their Father with wooden swords the appropriate size for a young girl, yet even from what she had watched herself, Hans’ stance was truly remarkable, his footing was firm and yet allowed him to duck his way in times of need. It seemed that he would have spoken some more, if only his eyes did not catch the glimpse of her, prompting him to bow at her direction instead. “Your Majesty, forgive me, for not noticing you sooner.”

“It’s quite alright, Captain.” She had smiled at the man before her eyes had darted toward the Prince, who only had looked over the cloth he was holding with a raise of his brow. “Although, I must disturb your practice with Prince Hans for I need to talk to him, if you don’t mind.”

“Not in the slightest, My Queen.”

With another respectful bow, the Captain had turned and gathered his belongings, excusing himself from the two royalties before he had made his leave. Hans had remained silent before he was left alone with Elsa and her ladies-in-waiting, and she began to wonder if he was waiting for them to be completely alone, yet she was not in the plan to dismiss anyone else.

“And what it is that my Queen required of me?” He had spoken up as he came to stand closer, and from the small distance that he had closed between them, she could see the sweat that glistened against his skin both from practice and from the sun. “For you to come looking for me, must be quite the importance.”

“I wish for you to come with me on a carriage ride this afternoon.” It was the safest decision that she could come up with to satisfy her Council’s demands, for they would show themselves to the public together, it was a step closer to what they wished for her to do.

“Oh?” His head had tilted to a side in wonder as he watched her, if only for just a short moment, before nodding in agreement. “Well, I would be honored to accompany you this afternoon.”  

That was all that she had needed from him, to ask instead of ordering him to come with her, and he had agreed to it, there was nothing else that she should do, yet she had not turned and leave right away. Instead she had sighed as her gloved hand reached for the washcloth, letting it slip from his grasp. “And please,” she had whispered as she reached up and ran the piece of cloth in her hand from his cheekbone and down to his jaw, to dismiss of the dirt that had found its’ way onto his face. “Do clean yourself first.”

She had not expected for his hand to come and take ahold of her wrist, although she should have really, and for him to smile as his eyes bore into hers. “I would only present myself in the best manner for my Queen.”

Tugging her wrist free, she had shoved the washcloth into his hand instead as she quickly turned to leave before he could comment on how flushed she was, for even she could feel the heat that had climbed from her neck and up to her cheeks.

Why would she have to be so embarrassed in the first place? He had done nothing but stared at her and to express on how people are supposed to always present themselves to her. It was all normal, wasn’t it?

In such tight space that was the open carriage that they had boarded, it could not be avoided that they would brush against each other, eventually.

She had to continuously reminded herself, as she waved and smiled at the people gathered at the sides of the road that they had passed, that it was all necessary for her to do this, for him to be at her side was a part of his duty as her husband, and that it had not also come from her own heart and selfish desire to be closer to him because how close could they possibly be more than this?

A useless self-questioning, of course, since she was well aware of the answer, it was the one thing that she still could not bring herself into doing, to devote herself into, she wasn’t ready for it, no matter how many times she had told herself that she had to prepare herself for it ever since her Father had told her of his decision.

“Please, stay still,” his whisper toward her had jerked her back into reality, and though she wished to turn and raise her eyebrow at him as she questioned of his intention, she remained still just as he had asked. “And do forgive me for doing this, please consider your reaction carefully.”

His hand rested over hers on her lap before he had leaned even closer to her, and suddenly before she could even think of what he had meant precisely, she had felt his lips pressed against her cheek in such a sweet kiss that had the crowd cheered even louder than before.

Has he really aware of her intention in this then, for he had done exactly what her Council had wished for them to do, to show public affection, and for him to warn her beforehand had prevent her from reacting out of instinct and ruin the whole ordeal by showing how awkward they were had explained how well he could read one’s situation without even a word muttered to him.

Thus, instead of throwing a glare or a baffled stare at him that would drive the cheering crowd into knowing the things she herself had wished to be concealed behind the closed gates, she had turned to him with a smile of a happily wedded Queen amused by her husband’s action.

Chapter Text

If there was one thing that could truly soothed her, it would have been music.

She had sat by her Mother’s side when she was young, to watch her fingers moved over the keys of the piano in the recreational room, to listen to the soft hum that would come from her lips as the late Queen poured her heart into her playing, smiling as the young Princess leaned her head against her side as she shut her eyes, listening contently.

It had been her wish to learn how to play herself, finding the difficulty in reaching for the keys as her fingers had not been as long as her Mother’s, scrunching her nose in annoyance as she had pressed the wrong tune and broke the beautiful song, and yet her Mother had encouraged her to continue on; and over times as she had grown she had finally able to do it without a single fault, it was the only activity where she could find herself at peace, her powers somehow had never gone out of control whenever she sat at the piano.

During her reign as Queen however, she had found it to be quite difficult to come to the recreational room, her duties had demanded her to be present during meetings and to attend to the paperwork on her desk, and after dinner she was far too exhausted to bring herself to play and would much prefer to retire back to her bedchamber instead.

Thus why she had found it to be a blessing that today her schedule had not been as full as it usually had, and she was able to spare some time to come and enjoy some free time for herself with her favorite musical instrument, the only one that she could play honestly.

The music that had flowed out of the instrument had filled the room enough for her to forget her surroundings, if only for a moment, and she had unconsciously began to hum the old song that her Mother once had sang to her, one that she would request for the lullaby to accompany her into sleep.

“It’s beautiful; I didn’t know you could play.” The voice that had spoken in an awed whisper just as she had finished had brought her out of her moment of nostalgia as she looked over her shoulder, finding her sister standing at the doorway, one hand still grasping the knob of the door. “I… didn’t mean to intrude; I didn’t expect you to be here.”

“It’s quite alright.” She could not blame the Princess to come into a room that was not locked in the first place, nor for her to stay and listen instead of leaving for she knew that the song had not only been played for her.

“It’s Mother’s song, isn’t it?” Anna had asked as she came to sit at the lounge by the window, in which the Queen had nodded in confirmation, as she let her shoes slipped off her feet before she had tucked her legs under her. “I missed them.”

Her gloved fingers hovered over the ivory keys, eyes darted downward at her sister’s words. “Me too.” When they were still alive she used to hear Anna’s laughter, muffled by the door and the windows of her room, as their parents would make sure that the younger Princess was happy even without the older. Every time she had seen Anna, out in the gardens while she was up in the library, she could only wish that she could join her, to enjoy the warm summer sun and the scent of blooming flowers in spring, yet the coldness at her fingertips would have reminded her on why she couldn’t, why she had to stay inside and away.

For a long moment there was nothing but silence between the two, and although she knew it was best for her to just leave, there was a part of her that knew that if she had risen from her seat and left, she would have hurt Anna’s feeling even further by believing that even her presence was unwanted by the older sister, it was why she could only sat through the silence that hung heavy in the air.

“You were out, with Hans, the other day.”

She should have realized that Anna would have taken notice on the fact that she had spent her time with her husband, though she wasn’t quite sure if she had been referring to their horse-ride or the carriage-ride, and in her eyes Elsa must have seemed as if she was being more social to anyone but her own sister, that she hated the Princess and wish for nothing but to avoid her.

“The Council wished for me to,” it was her only liability for the situation, though now that she had voiced it out she felt exactly as what she had feared had become of herself, a mere chess piece in which the politicians had played instead of the ruling Queen. “They wish for me and Hans to be more… public.”

There was a hum that came from her sister then, though the tone of it made her brows furrowed, for it almost as if she did not believe her, and when she had turned to look then, the strawberry-blonde haired Princess had her face turned toward the windows, finger running over the smooth surface in shapes she randomly drawn as her lips were pursed in a scowl.

“Anna-”

“No, I get it; those old men can be irritating.” The Princess’ shoulders were raised in a shrug before she lowered her legs back onto the ground, feet slipping back into her shoes before she stood up and ran her hands over the non-existing wrinkles on her skirt. “Forgive me, for interrupting you. I will just go and search where Gerda hides the chocolate for dessert.”

Anna had hid her true feelings away from her; she could see that passed the smile and the nonchalant way she had spoken of finding the sweet-tasted dessert made of cocoa, yet even when all she had wished was to talk more with her, to equally spend her time with her and not just fulfilling her Council’s demands, the memory of her young sister unconscious with skin as cold as ice had always reminded her that she couldn’t, not until she truly controlled her powers.

Until then, she could only dreamt of enjoying the one dessert they both loved so dearly with her sister as she silently watched the Princess left the room.

It was well past midnight and yet the bed remained lacking of one person.

From the moment that he had retired back into the bedchamber up until now that he was sitting with his back against the headboard, never once did he saw her walking in. Her ladies-in-waiting had come, excusing themselves as they prepared for her nightgown, and when asked about her whereabouts they had stated that she was still in her study and had requested for them to just prepare her night clothing before dismissing them for the day.

It had come to his concern that she had been forcing herself to work late, as she was a very well-scheduled person and would not have done such a thing if it was not a matter of urgency or that something was bothering her mind, the latter had appeared to be a far more logical option for the night.

It was why he had made his way out to the darkened halls, dimly lit by the candles along the walls, carrying his own as he padded along the stone flooring with his feet bare as he headed to her study, seeing the dim light that had escaped underneath the door from within.

Surely enough, he had found her hunched over her desk, head resting on her folded arms, the dancing flame from the candle at the corner of the desk as her only company. Even in her sleep her brows were furrowed, yet as he brushed away the platinum blonde strands that had fallen over her face she had only shifted in the smallest of movement.

Blowing the flame on the candle he had brought with him as well as the one that she had perhaps lit for herself, he had set the candle holder aside before he had adjusted her to lean back against her seat, and still her sleep remained unbothered, not even when he had wrapped her arm around his neck before hoisting her up into his arms, her head moving to rest against his chest.

“You are a good Queen, Elsa.” He had sighed as he brought her back to their bedchamber, and she had only mumbled incoherently as he gently laid her onto her side of the bed, though now she had to endure sleeping in her full dress for he would not undress her himself. “I do hope you realize that.”

Yet she was far too exhausted that he had the feeling she would not even remember any of this by the time she would wake up the next morning.

Chapter Text

It was to be a small party journeying to the Country of Ánslo.

She had attended the many meetings with her Council regarding the preparation of what was to be her honeymoon with Hans, for she had to make sure that during her leave Arendelle was to be handled no differently than what she had arranged it to be, and had agreed that she would limit those who come with her during her trip, not even her ladies-in-waiting were to come to maintain the number to a minimum, just enough to assist and secured the two royalties.

Corona had been suggested to be a great destination; the sunny kingdom would certainly be a change from Arendelle’s cold atmosphere, it was also the kingdom under King Frederic’s reign and he would be pleased to welcome the daughter of his old friend, yet she had refused with the reason that the Queen should not travel that far away if it was not for an urgent matter.

In truth, she rather would avoid a trip that would require her to sail. There was always a certain fear that sat within her with the idea of her boarding a ship, to journey on water for days, and the death of her parents had only worsened her view of it. Should she was to force herself; she had feared that her powers would only get out of control with her inability to remain calm, and that would result in things she didn’t even dare to imagine.

To reach Ánslo she would only be required to sit through a carriage ride for half a day with Hans, and it was far more preferable for her, the fact that it would not be their first ride together was also helped her from dwelling on the subject far more than necessary.

Yet she was still faced with the matter of Anna.

Her younger sister was informed of her upcoming journey with her husband through Gerda, and from what was reported back to her the Princess had only nodded and dismissed the Governess that had helped the late Queen to raise the two sisters from their childhood. She must have been upset with the idea of how unfair the Queen had been, to keep avoiding her and yet wish to spend more private time with her husband, no matter how it was out of the royal duty they had to fulfill.

“Kai,” the middle-aged steward had been in service for the royal family since her father’s reign and had remained after the reduction of the staff, and since the late King’s passing he had continued to serve her and had become one of those servants close to the Queen. “During my leave, please look after Anna for me. She is allowed to go out to the town if she wishes to.” There was no reason to keep the Princess inside when she was not even in the castle, and would serve to be a great opportunity for the younger sister for some refreshment after feeling so cooped up lately.

The man had nodded then as his hand remained resting on the doorknob, as he was previously about to exit her study before his name was called. “Of course, Your Majesty, the Princess would be greatly looked after.” He was one of those who have personally witnessed the extreme changes that had happened to the sisters’ relationship with each other, to see how drifted apart they now were. “Is there anything else you need of me, Your Majesty?”

“No, that would be all, thank you, Kai.”

No one was getting anywhere with her.

There was a bitter smile as she sat by the triangular window, drawing her legs close to her chest as the words; the words whispered among those unknowing that she was able to hear them still, echoed in her mind again, the same words that had been spoken for the doubts amongst the people when they had come even before their wedding.

“She is young, but time is running still, and soon without children-”

Her eyes darted toward the sleeping figure on the bed, an arm over his face as he lay on his back, the covers had only reaching his abdomen. She had gone to bed with him, for she did not wish for him to come looking for her again; she knew of course of his action, or at least suspected it, for she did not have the slightest memory of having made her way back to the bedchamber, let alone to fall asleep in her daily dress. Yet she had never truly fallen asleep, as much as she knew she had to rest for tomorrow their journey to Ánslo would begin, and had slipped out of the bed once she knew he was sound asleep.

“There is Princess Anna, no? She is, by royal blood, her heir, should anything happen to the Queen.”

“That girl is incapable of ruling over a kingdom, unfit to replace her sister.”

No, as long as she was capable of ruling then she would not pass the burden onto her younger sister’s shoulders, because she deserved better than being her spare. Anna deserved happiness and to choose her own path of life, perhaps finding someone that she would marry out of love and not duty, to not have her mind so burdened with a kingdom like Arendelle.

Yet if she wished for all of that for her sister, then she had to face the reality of her own life, of the life that she wished had never been this hard if only she was as ordinary as anyone else, to born as a normal child without powers that could bring nothing but harm.

After all, she was the one everyone had expected to wear the crown, and be the good girl that she always has to be.

The last of their baggage had been loaded, a signal of which they were ready to go.

Among her ladies-in-waiting that were to remain back in the castle until her return and the guards ready to escort her and Hans to their destination, there was Anna, talking to Gerda who was to come with the Queen from her own personal request when told that she would need someone to assist her still.

“The chocolate is not to be eaten as replacement of your daily meal, Your Highness.” The Governess had tutted as the strawberry blonde haired Princess had only rolled her eyes in a gentle manner as she wrapped her arms around the older lady, lips moving in an unreadable whisper before she had let go.

When the Queen had made her way toward her, she had lowered herself in a curtsey before the older sister could even catch her gaze. “I do hope you will enjoy your time.” Anna had murmured, head remaining bowed as to avoid her blue eyes from meeting turquoise ones.

“Thank you, Anna.”

She yearned for the hug that Gerda had received, envied it in the way that she was not supposed to even feel for it should have come so naturally between the two of them. Yet she settled in resting a hand on her sister’s freckled cheek instead, the satin glove brushing against her warm skin, and it had prompted Anna to finally look up to see her and the small sad smile she had on her face before she had turned away, hand slipping off her sister’s face as she took a silent deep breath and made her way toward the closed carriage instead, accepting the offered hand of the footman as he helped her up, joining Hans who had already in.

From the small window installed onto the door, she could see the flustered expression of her sister as she had her hand up and touching the spot in which the platinum blonde haired Queen had touched her, bewildered from the sudden gesture.

There was a small jolt as the horses began to pull the carriage, making their way out of the courtyard of the castle and soon enough to leave Arendelle.

She caught his eyes watching her, and had turned with a questioning raise of her eyebrow, for inside the enclosed carriage there was no need for them to display the same affection that he had done during their last outing, and he had only reached up to tuck a strand of her platinum blonde hair that she had not notice had fallen behind her ear before he had turned to look out of the window.

In Ánslo, she would not have any paperwork to escape to from his watching green eyes.

Chapter Text

He was required to wear a coat as he stepped out of the carriage.

It was quite the giving, if he was to be honest with himself, as the coat had protected him from the crisp air of early autumn, a reminder of the many months that he had made Arendelle into his permanent home as he was the husband of its Queen. Though he had taken the notice of how differently Elsa had dressed compared to the rest of them. She maintained her dress and had worn nothing but a shawl to fight against the cold, the piece of clothing had only partially covered her otherwise exposed shoulders, and he could not help but raise his brow as he had not seen her shivered even once.

“I’m not that cold.” She had answered his question with a huff of her breath, and to prove her point she had not even budged when a chilly breeze passed, did not even tightened the shawl around her as she made her way toward the building.

It was a summer house belonging to the royal family of Arendelle, as he was informed when he had asked Kai of the details of the destination in which he and Elsa would spend their time together, a place for royals to come and rest themselves should they need a break from their constant life at the palace. A perfect location, really, as it was hidden in the woods with no prying eyes of the common folks to see, with a separated cabin for the servants in the main building that would assure their privacy.

The house’s caretakers had prepared for the arrival of the Queen as soon as they received the letter of it, and he had breathed a sigh of relief once he had stepped in and find the warmth of the lit fireplace welcoming him as he discarded his coat.

The night had started to befallen them when they had arrived, and while the servants had moved to prepare their dinner, he had caught the sight of her, out of the corner of his eye, ascending the stairs up to the second floor where he supposed their bedroom would be, with Gerda following close behind, as she was to be solely the one to assist the Queen during their stay in Ánslo.

“Do tell me,” he had regarded to one of the male servant that had passed him, prompting the young lad to stop at his track. “Is there any interesting place that could entertain the Queen and me out here?” With Elsa’s clear reluctance with the whole idea of honeymoon and the purpose of it, he had to start working on the plan to make her opened up to him even more, and perhaps this trip would not be as pointless as she had feared.

“There is a hot spring nearby, sire.” He lad nodded as he ran his fingers through his ash-brown hair with a clear of his throat. “You can reach it on foot with no trouble.”

A hot spring was not what he had in mind, for it was far too intimate for the two of them, yet he could not blame the lad for suggesting it to a married couple, in their honeymoon no less, and had only nodded his thanks as the young man left to continue with his task at hand.

It would be wise for him to explore the area himself then, to find a more suitable activity that could be used to pass the time with no duties at hand.

There was nowhere else that they could possibly go to but the bedroom after dinner.

The room had been smaller than the one back in Arendelle castle, of course, yet dared he said it was cozier, with the combination of wood and stone for the walls and the floor, the hearth across the bed lit to keep them from being cold and the brown-colored fur carpet draped in between.

The Queen had taken a seat on one side of the bed, and he noticed how she had always preferred the one nearest to the window, delicate fingers combing through her long platinum blonde hair after her bun had been undone. Away from the castle and her duties as Queen, to be sitting in such modest room if compared to their bedchamber, she had appeared so humble that he could perhaps mistake her for a mere simple town girl if he did not know her.

“Have you come here before, Elsa?” He imagined her younger self with Anna, journeying to this place with their parents for a small holiday as a family, to forget of their lives as royals even if only for a moment; a thought he could never imagine himself in with his own family. “This place is truly magnificent.”

“No, I haven’t.” Her answer had surprised him; he had to admit, as she shook her head slowly, yet had refrained from looking away from the window to the darkened sky. “At least Anna and I, that is. Our parents had been here before, long before I was born.” There was sadness in her voice; a longing feeling for something that she had lost, perhaps of spending time with her family, though he could not understand why.

He had taken the notice that whenever the discussion about her family had come up, Elsa would have displayed clear discomfort, almost as if even her own family felt like a stranger for her, something that she was unfamiliar with, and strangely enough he realized that he too had displayed similar manner upon discussing his family, although he must admit that his family was truly not something that he would say he held dear to his heart nor life.

The mattress had sunk under his weight as he joined her, the wooden creaking as he shifted to lean against the headboard, opening one of the few books that they had brought with them for their trip, turning it until he had reached the page where he had left off once their carriage had rolled into the dirt road leading to the summer house earlier.

“Would you really do it?” He had barely finished two pages when she had spoken, after he had put but a little mind to the shift of the bed when she had finished with her hair and had went under the cover with him, and he was quite surprised to see that she did not have her back turned toward him the way it usually did, her eyes watching his face behind the red leather-bound book. “What you’ve said to me during our chess game; that you would ‘play’ with me instead of for me?”

Ah yes, he would never forget about their game, of how they have properly exchanged their minds for the very first time since her coronation, and had not forget about their certain discussion over her feelings as the new Queen of Arendelle; although it did serve as a small shock that she had not forgotten either. “Certainly.” He had tried his best to fulfill that promise of his, yet could only do so much as it had to be her still who gave him the orders, and as long as she would not let him near the paperwork that often exhausted her, he could not play.

There was silence that passed between them as Elsa considered his answer, his read had been lowered onto his lap when he had answered, before there was a slight dip of her head, a nod of confirmation though he could not know of what. “I hope, for your own sake and mine, that you would not disappoint, Hans.”

Chapter Text

At night she dreamt of a girl with strawberry blonde hair.

Clad in her nightgown, shrill laughter coming from her lips as she jumped around the bed across the room, the twin pigtails her hair had been braided into bouncing with her excitement. She was no older than five or six, with freckled cheeks flushed pink, and a big grin as she looked at her with her pair of turquoise eyes. “Do the magic, do the magic!”

She knew of her magic, and yet she did not feel surprised for it, as if this girl was supposed to know, had known from the very beginning. Still there was doubt in her heart, a sliver of fear though it was easily brushed off with her own excitement, and her fingertips started to grow cold. It was not her who had the control over her body, nor of her magic, and her hands were raised to do what she was requested.

A burst of white exploded in her eyes after the coldness had shot through the palms of her hands, and when she had regained her vision back, the girl had stopped jumping all together, had not even been standing on the bed, instead she had fallen onto the mattress, unmoving.

“Elsa, what have you done?!”

Her heart hurt at the sound of her father, booming against the quiet room and suddenly she wanted to fall onto her knees, to curl into herself and to cover her ears as not to hear him, but she remained unmoving. “I didn’t mean it.”

Yet no one had listened to her, no one had even thought of her, as her parents went to the girl with the strawberry blonde hair, wrapping their arms around her even when she had woken up, had her eyes opened and staring at her so coldly that she shivered, and when she looked around others had stood siding with the girl, all eyes were the same ice cold as they stared down at her.

There was no one at her side, no one who would come close and to comfort her, no one to hold her and told her that they believed her, that they knew that she would never do it on purpose. There were only people looking at her in fright, as if jagged ice had grown around her, terror in their eyes.

“Anna, please.” Her lips had moved on their own, pleading at the girl, hand reaching out for her to take, because she needed someone, she needed her sister who had not been afraid with her powers the way their parents had been, no matter how much they had tried to conceal it from her. “I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.” Anna’s voice was as cold as her eyes, and it had her retracting her hand back, to curl her fingers as she pressed it against her chest as she stared at her sister, disbelief of what she had just heard coming from her as she was now faced with the eighteen years old Anna that she knew. “You’re a monster, Elsa.”

Her body jerked awake as her eyes shot opened, finding herself in the darkened bedroom with nothing to serve as her source of light but the faint moonlight coming through the window behind her. Blue eyes searched for the one who slept by her side, finding his face had turned to the side away from her as he laid on his back, and she breathed.

It had been nothing but a dream.

Moving with caution, she scooted just a little closer to him, her gloved fingers curling around his biceps as she slowly dipped her head and pressed her forehead where his shoulder met his arm, eyes fluttering closed as she used the warmth of his body and his presence to bring herself back to sleep.

As for now, all she wished was for someone to hold on.

“You’re pale.”

Blue eyes flickered up over the rim of the china she had used to drink her morning tea toward him, brow raised as she lowered her cup as he dabbed his napkin against his lips. “If you have not noticed, my dear, it’s how my skin is colored under normal circumstances.” Surely he would have taken notice of it, after months of marriage; an observing man like Hans would not have missed the apparent details of his wife.

There was a slight smile that grew on his face, smug almost, and it had made her furrowed her brows in confusion instead, for it seemed that he had expected her answer and had a respond prepared beforehand already. “I can tell the difference between fair and pale, darling, your skin is fair in color.” He had pointed out as he took another bite of the toast they were served with. “Pale is a term used if one looked rather unhealthy. Are you feeling quite alright?”

Her dream had still ghosted at the back of her mind, as it usually would until she had found a great amount of distraction that would take her mind off the thing that could manage to find its way to haunt her nights. Her gesture against Hans, to find comfort in his presence, had been something she had never done before, and now in the morning to see him awake, to sit and convers with him, for him to actually check on her wellbeing, had prompted a light blush to climb up her cheeks as she lifted her cup back up against her lips as her way to dismiss the reddening of her cheeks before she answered him.

“Yes, there is nothing to worry about.”

In return for her dismissive reply, he had only nodded and returned his attention back to the breakfast that had been prepared for them, green eyes did not even flicker back up to see her face, as he had grown used in handling her often detached persona, it seemed.

“Would you mind if we go for a ride, Hans?” She would have asked if he had nothing in mind to spend the day, yet she figured it would be foolish since other than the servants there were truly no one else with them, nor that there was any of their usual activity, and they were supposed to be spending the entire week together nonetheless. “I personally had Sitron to be brought with us since it seemed you are quite fond with your horse.”

His eyebrow had quirked in interest from the moment she had voiced her request, and a smile had formed on his lips when she had mentioned the stallion he seemed to have his whole trust in. “Why of course I wouldn’t mind, Elsa. We could leave as soon as you’re ready.”

Nodding her head in agreement, she had set her cup down, empty now that she has finished her tea, before she rose from her seat, motioning for Gerda to follow her as she made her way out of the dining room, as she had to prepare herself by putting on proper clothing for riding.

For two was required in this dance of fate, should they wished to fulfill what was written for them.

Chapter Text

“Have I perhaps exhausted you, Hans?”

As much as his curiosity could at times get onto her nerves, as it could come dangerously close to her secret, she had to admit that she much preferred that rather than the silence that had occurred ever since they had left for their little journey through the woods. It had brought her to wonder if he truly had been tired in pursuing her, that now she had disinterested him; that he began to doubt their marriage.

But was that what she had originally wished?

For their marriage to become nothing but a mask, a play that they were both involved in that required them to deliver their parts in the face of the public, to unite their kingdoms and nothing else; those were what she had in mind for so long and yet when it had the chance of truly happening, why would she even feel the strange hurt that she was feeling?

His head perked up then, looking up at her who was well above him since she had been sitting on the saddle all by herself while he had opted to walk and lead Sitron by the rein, and his eyebrow had rose at her sudden question. “What makes you think of that?”

“We are going in a circle,” he must have noticed it as much as she; for every attempt of romance by him had been brushed off by her, that every time she had realized that they were going closer she had pushed him back away, that it seemed that the both of them would always wound up at the start, over and over again. “I’m not letting us to move forward.”

Hans had only turned his attention back onto the road ahead, a pathway made of dirt that they had decided to follow as to avoid getting lost, and his shoulders had lifted up in a shrug. “I would rather not push you into doing something you wouldn’t do.” His tone was calm, collected, a contrast of what she was feeling within her, and unlike him; she could not read his eyes as well as he did hers. “You have to put up with the arrangement made by our fathers, I think you deserve to decide for yourself on what you wish to do with this marriage.”

The way he had spoken brought a slight frown onto her face, a wonder that she had not even considered before, as she had been assuming that they were in a much similar situation. “And you’re not? Have you been the one who decided yourself that you would marry me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” She could not imagine herself to willingly offer herself into an arranged marriage, to see and decide that she would marry someone that she barely even has the knowledge of. Mother had always told her and Anna of bedtime stories regarding true loves, and although she was not as romantic of a person as the younger had been, she still somewhat believed in the prospect of marriage out of love, although ‘true love’ still did not sit right in her mind.

He was silent again, if only for a moment, his gloved hand tightening around the leather rein in his grasp, before he had taken a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak. “I’ve told you before that my childhood had not been the easiest either.” She remembered his brief explanation of his brothers, though he had been holding himself back then. “Marrying you would have meant that I have the chance to leave, and honestly an arranged marriage did nothing to scare me, not after what I’ve gone through.”

What had he gone through, though? What had happened to him that was so terrible that willingly giving away his freedom to choose his own bride was so tempting for him?

“That, and also the fact that I am the only bachelor left in my family, the only son that was unwedded.” There was a chuckle that came from him, though she could not understand what had amused him, not when what he had explained to her had left her feeling as if she had been nothing but a tool for him to escape. “Despite all that though,” her lips had been pressed shut once again when he had spoken back, stopping her from voicing her opinion and irritation. “I did not expect myself to actually be so grateful that I have you as my wife.”

This had successfully sent her mind into a blank, unable to think clearly of the respond that she should muster to him after his indirect declaration to her, the admission that he genuinely cared for her rather than just playing well with his part, that perhaps he truly… loves her.

“You don’t have to see this as some kind of a pressure from me,” he looked up to her then, perhaps seeing how flushed she was as he gave her a reassuring smile. “As I don’t want for you to lie to yourself, I would rather wait and have your silence until your words matched your feelings.”

When she looked at him she realized that he was no longer a stranger.

He was not a man that had come into her life and taken the status as her husband merely for the purpose of uniting their two kingdoms, an outsider that was not born and raised in Arendelle like she and her sister had been, someone that had only come to fulfill a destiny that they did not even write by themselves.

She had tried to imagine a life without him, to see the void that would be there at the other side of the bed should he did not come and slip the golden band hidden within her glove around her finger, and she had to close her eyes to hold back the shudder from shaking her form as the sudden emptiness filled her with unbearable feeling.

How could she possibly have pretended, for the many months of their marriage, that she did not feeling anything at all for him?

“Am I such a terrible liar to fool no one but myself?” For she did not believe that she would have admit to this should he did not speak of his own feeling toward her. Though she did not receive any sort of answer, as he remained soundly asleep, not that she think he would have heard anyway for she had murmured it so quietly even in the darkened room where they both laid in bed, her hand had once again rested against his jaw as she watched the peace on his face, thumb running over the bone of his cheek in the gentlest manner.

She wondered what he would say about her powers, should somehow he was made aware of it. Would he be as fascinated as Anna had, back when they were young? Or would he be as fearful as her father had been, enough to lock her away from everyone once again so that there was no chance of her ever hurting people she cared for?

The thoughts of her powers would usually make her flinch and draw her hand back and away from him, to turn her whole body away from him as she shut her eyes and to will herself to be taken into the land of dreams already, and yet this time it didn’t.

This time, she allowed herself to dream that he would stay by her side, always.

Chapter Text

The grin plastered over his face made her scowl.

His steps were true, confident, as he made his way of returning to the summer house with Sitron’s rein tightly held in his grasp, the thick coat over his body shielding him away from the chilly morning breeze. And she was having none of that; not even the way his auburn hair was slightly tousled by the wind or his freshened expression was able to shake neither the scowl on her face nor the way her arms were folded over her chest.

“Where have you been?” The demanding tone in her voice had not been intentional, at least not that harsh, though it had successfully made his smile wavered. “The bed was empty when I have woken up, and none of the servants know where you have gone. Actually, no one knows you’re even gone until I asked of your whereabouts.” There was something that she said, although she could not tell what, that only made his smile grew once more as he chuckled. “What?”

Handling the leather rein in his hand to the male servant that had approached, he let the young lad to bring Sitron back to the stables before he turned his attention back toward her, a smile still on his face as he adjusted his white gloves, dirtied by the dirt of the nature. “I’ve taken Sitron for a small ride around, the woods really is peaceful when it is barely dawn.” There was a thin mist that came from him when he spoke as the warmth of his breath was met with the chilly air, and she was unable to tell why she had found such a small and insignificant thing to be so fascinating. “I must say though, I’m glad to have you so worried over me.”

“And what makes you think that of me?”

“You were pretty clear of it through your words, Elsa.” Heat crept up her neck and onto her cheeks by that, for she should have known that he would have realized of her concern by the way she had spoken, by how questioning she had been over his disappearance when it was perhaps only been merely hours and that he did have the right to go wherever he pleased as he was a grown man, and his smile had only widened when he saw the color that adorned her cheeks. “Also,” his hands went to unclasp his coat, taking it off before he draped it over her shoulders instead. “For you to stand out here in nothing but a thin robe just to scold me, you could catch a cold.”

Between the two of them though, he was the most likely to catch a cold, for low temperature had no effect on her in any way that others do, and she should not have let him take his coat off for her, as it served no difference for her, and yet his genuine gesture had made her gloved hands take a hold onto the thick material, to pull it closer around her figure as she watched his face, to see the smile on his face that had successfully melted her initial anger at him and left her with nothing but a sense of warmth that swelled within her.

The sudden loud rumbling coming from his direction did break the silence that had passed between them as she laughed, one that came from her core and not one that reserved merely for formalities, a genuine amused one that made her had to cover her grin with her hand as she watched how the table had turned between them and he was now the one who had cheeks reddening in embarrassment. “I take it you are ready for breakfast, husband?” She was not the one to tease, and yet this once she did, for she had beginning to understand what he perhaps had felt every time he caused the flushed expression on her, and she must say that it was quite the satisfaction.

Though he did take teasing better than she, for he let out a chuckle as he nodded, a hand extended and offered out toward her. “Well, why don’t we step inside then, wife?” His respond to what it seemed to be their very first good-natured banter had left her shaking her head in amusement as she took his hand, satin meeting satin as he grasped her fingers and led her back into the house.

And for once, her power had been the least thing that she had in her mind.

“I’m glad to see your relationship with Prince Hans has improved so much, Your Majesty.”

There was a quiet hum that came from her as her eyes remained fixed on the bathing water as she let the Governess gently scrubbed her left arm, watching the ripples that were created with every single movement that she made. Yes, she shared the same feeling as the maid over her relationship with Hans, as she had found herself some comfort with him that she had not found with anyone else, and it gave her life some sort of ease, and yet there were many things that remained inside her mind, things that she knew she could not avoid her entire life.

“To see you so happy, for once, Your Majesty; is truly a blessing for me.” Gerda continued with a smile as she ran the cleaning sponge in her hand over smooth skin. “It feels like forever since the last time I’ve seen you laughed like that.”

Should she be honest; even she could not tell exactly when she had felt so… free. To not be so haunted by her past and her father’s expectations to her, to feel as her own self even if it was only for a moment. Her banter with Hans had carried on to breakfast, and even after that, and such rare sight of them feeling comfort in each other’s presence was a huge step into their relationship, one that she did not expect could make her want for more.

She wanted to have someone to understand, someone to listen, for once.

“I wish I could feel somewhat similar when it comes to Anna.” But she couldn’t, because the Princess must have resent her own sister, anyone who had been pushed away for so long must have felt that way, and there was a gap too large for her to fix between them. “Yet I supposed I could not wish too much.”

The furrowing of Gerda’s brows was expected, as she thought that deep within the Governess’ mind she knew of what she had been referring to, she must have realized how distant the sisters had been, her crowning as Queen and marriage could do nothing to mend their bond. “Your Majesty, have you truly not realized how much your sister loves you?” When met with the Queen’s confused stare, the middle-aged servant had only shook her head. “The Princess asked me to make sure that you’re happy, Your Majesty, to care for you during this trip. That is all that she ever wanted. And seeing how Prince Hans could make you feel, I know your sister would be happy.”

I would rather wait and have your silence until your words matched your feelings.

Most time she would find herself no trouble in forming words, to speak of what was necessary for her to, as the reigning Queen her voice must be heard in every Council meeting despite their doubts that a woman should rule the kingdom without a King. Yet now, as she made her way toward the bed, where her husband had sat up against the headboard with a book in hand, she could not find her voice to speak up of what her mind had mulled over and over again.

With fingers holding the top of the opened book, she had tugged it out and away from his grasp, earning herself a raise of his eyebrow as he gave her a silent question of what she had in mind until she had to take his reading away from him and placed it on the nightstand by her side. “I could not find the words for it,” she had sighed truthfully, for she could not have any more secret hidden away within her without making her feel so overwhelmed. Though the way she had spoken must have only confused him further, for now his brows had furrowed as her eyes met his instead of avoiding his gaze, for she had to see him. “But I could not keep this lie forever.”

Her hand moved to rest on his face the same way it had always did, yet now he was not asleep when she did it, wide awake as his eyes watched hers, and she brought herself closer to him, slowly as her eyes fluttered close until her lips find his warmer ones.

His respond was to kiss her back, and this time she remained, letting herself melted against his gentle touch as his arms moved to wrap around her figure, pulling her into his embrace until she had found herself nestled on his lap while her other hand had found itself at the back of his head, fingers running through the thick auburn hair.

“That’s quite alright,” his murmur against her lips were quiet, and she could feel the smile that graced upon his face. “I think I prefer this than words.”

Chapter Text

Some things do come one after another in a way that was almost impossible to stop.

With her willingness to finally let herself admit to her feelings, ones that she had tried to bury and pushed away whenever it had showed the smallest of hint of its existence, it had opened doors that she had shut close within her, including the desires that she held over her husband; her want over him, natural humane wishes that made her blush.

And it seemed that he too shared the same thing as she.

Wet hot tongue ran over her lips made her gasp, because never once did she ever felt such sensation, and Hans had used her momentary shock to deepen the kiss, to urge her to open her mouth and let him in, and cautiously her own tongue had come to dance with his, tangled as her fingers clutched against his hair, urging him, though she could not tell for what.

Her back was met with the mattress underneath when he had moved her, although their kiss remained unbroken, and now that she was lying down his hands had gained more freedom to roam over, one of his palms ran over the naked skin of her arm while the other held onto her waist, keeping her in place even when she truly had nowhere to go, her own hands finding themselves running over his back, feeling his muscle and his warm skin for the very first time, and she truly blushed.

For she was touching a man’s bare torso, having his body hovering above her as they kissed in a way that she had never done before, and her cheeks burned. His touch against her skin was enthusiastic, eager, and she could tell how patient he had been waiting for this, to explore her.

His mouth left hers, and she had almost protested for it, because she had never felt this way before, and she liked it, she did not wish to lose this moment; and yet it had taken no time for his lips to press against her neck instead, right above her pulsing vein that made her heart skipped a beat and a moan erupted from within her, such sound so embarrassing that her breath hitched up in surprise.

And frost formed inside her satin gloves from her lack of focus.

He would not have noticed, would not have seen nor felt her slip up, and yet still she had pressed both her hands against his chest, creating a distance between them as she struggled to even out her breathing as she looked up to see the furrowing of his brows. “I’m sorry,” she murmured as she pushed him further away until he sat back up on the bed before she joined him. “I—”

“If you find yourself not ready for this, then I won’t—”

“No, it’s not—” the words came into a halt in her throat, once she considered the prospect of revealing her secret to him, secrets that no one knew except her parents, secrets she had hid from the whole world, including her sister. Yet she truly could not bear to hide it anymore, to have no one else knowing of her ability ever since the death of the late King and Queen, and if they were to live the rest of their lives together then he would have to know sooner or later, and she much preferred to tell him herself than to have him knowing by accident. Thus she had taken a deep breath, pressing her gloved hand against her chest to calm herself. “I need you to listen, Hans, for it is important for me for you to understand.”

His eyes never left hers as she took another breath, this one shakier, as she held onto the tips of her right glove, believing that perhaps he was truly the one who she should share this part of her with, at least for now, until she was ready to share it to the world. Silk brushed against her skin as she tugged her glove off her hand until it had completely come off and the air of the bedroom enveloped her bare hand, letting her skin breathed.

Holding her hand between them, she had turned her palm up, gesturing with her eyes for him to turn his attention to it, and she did caught the slight movement of his hands, as if he had wanted to touch hers, yet refrained himself from doing so. This would be the third deep breath she had taken by now, as she let her eyes fluttered closed and directed the coldness inside her onto her hand.

And a single snowflake at the size half of her palm conjured up for him to see.

There was nothing but silence then, thick in the air as green eyes remained transfixed on the floating ice over her palm, the lips that had been burning against hers only moments ago were unmoving, and it was suffocating. She was unable to read his expression the way he did hers, unable to determine of what was on his mind as he watched the snowflake lightly danced in the air.

“Say something… please.” She may fear of what he would say, yet the silence was no better, and she could not take it. If she was a monster then there was nothing else that she could possibly do about it, for she had asked for her magic to be removed, yet it could not be done for it was a part of her. And if he would call her as such, for him to hate her despite what she felt for him, then—

“It’s beautiful.” His eyes had looked up at her, to see how taken aback she was for his comment, for never once she ever thought someone would see her curse in a way he did. “Could you do more?”

Had he truly asked her if she could do more? Conjuring a snowflake was the safest thing that she could do as not to harm him and he wished to see something more? “Hans, you don’t understand!” Of the danger she possessed, of what she was capable of doing to him the same that she had done to Anna, even worse.

“Yes, I don’t.” There was a smile on his face and not the slightest fear in his eyes, she was not prepared for such a mesmerized reaction from him; he did not even cower away from her. “I don’t understand why would you hide such talent, such gift.”

“‘Gift’?” Her lips had repeated the word in disbelief as she curled her hand back, dismissing the magic under her fingers as she looked at him with a furrow of her brows. “It’s a curse, Hans.” Had her husband truly gone mad? It would have been such a perfect couple, a witch and a madman. “I can hurt you; I can hurt anyone.”

His hand reached for hers, and when she had pulled the bare one away from his grasp and held it close to her chest, he had taken a hold of her still gloved one. “But I know you wouldn’t.” The certainty in his words was unbelievable, as if he knew her more than anyone else, yet he was mistaken. His knowledge of her was no better than Anna’s, perhaps slightly more now that he had known of her power, but no more than that. “I know you would never use your power to hurt people.”

Yet she had. It was an accident, of course, as she had told her father and mother, and still she could not help but blame herself for it, for her foolishness and for her lack of control, she could have avoided the incident had she able to refuse Anna’s request to use her power that night. “I can’t control it.”

“As a matter of fact, I think you have done quite well at our wedding.” His hand still held hers, as it appeared that he would not let go of it anytime soon, and she could do nothing but to advert her gaze away from his piercing look. For her to go gloveless that day was a requirement that she could not avoid, for he had to put the ring around her finger, and it had taken her whole self-control not to let any ice be seen. “You are capable of doing it, if you put your belief to it.”

Her intention to show him of her magic was not for him to encourage her like this; it was more to give him the reason on why she could not tell what was troublesome to her to her council, as it had been from the beginning, why she could not let herself be so intimate with him without the fear of freezing everything over. Letting her hand slipped out of his grasp, she had sighed as she put on her discarded glove once more. “Now you see why it’s so difficult for me.” Because she couldn’t believe in herself, not when she had caused harm during her childhood, knowing that her powers were much stronger than it was then.

“I can help you, I don’t know how, but I want to.” His voice was an absolute sincere as his hand had reached up to tuck the fallen strand of her hair behind her ear. “Don’t shut me out, Elsa.”

Chapter Text

Her brows furrowed in her sleep.

It was such a rare morning for him to be awake before she had; to open his eyes to the peaceful sunlight that came through the windows, to hear the flickering embers in the hearth across from their bed as the remaining of the fire that had been lit up to keep their room warm in the night, unlike the other day where he had woken himself up before dawn, with the sky the gradient color of orange and blue, with a small amount of stars blinking above him when he had made his way with Sitron through the woods.

And to have her curled up against his side.

They had fallen asleep facing each other, for the first time, eyes watching the other’s as he had tucked a strand of her platinum blonde hair behind her ear before his hand had moved across her jaw, feeling the smooth skin as his eyes caught the sight of the faint freckles dusting her cheeks. He had never noticed them before, difficult to unlike Anna’s whose stood clear the first time he had met her, seeing how fair her skin was, and he had never gotten the chance to look at her so closely before.

Somehow, as they slept, they had moved toward each other, magnets unable to resist the pulling force between the two, for their limbs to tangle together in search of warmth under the thick blanket, resulting in one of her legs nestled between his while her head rested against his chest, thick hair right under his jawline and ear, and yet her hands remained curled against her chest securely, almost as if even her unconscious self was well aware that she had to make sure she was not being careless.

He had never seen magic before; tricks and sleight of hand performed by so-called ‘magicians’ ­were nothing but discipline practice that anyone could do should they put their mind to it, but what he had witnessed coming from Elsa, of her ability that she had kept hidden from the world, it was not a mere trick to fool one’s eyes. She could summon ice from the palm of her hands, out of thin air, and he had only heard of it from stories, books that he had read.

Brushing the falling strands of her hair away from her face, he could see how much even in sleep her mind was conflicted, for she had been carrying so many burdens in her life for so long, and truly all he ever wanted was to ease her, to see her as carefree as she had been when she had laughed, to see the same twinkle of her clear icy blue eyes. Yet he understood, to a certain level, of her struggles with what she was capable of; people tend to turn defensive when they were faced with something different, their minds settled on what they considered as normal and find it hard to even listen, for she may have seemed fearful to them, up to the point where they could not see how frightened she was.

The shift against his body had succeeded in stopping in train of thoughts, yet Elsa’s eyes remained closed, lashes fluttering as a quiet incoherent mumble escaped her lips, other than that she was still sound asleep and he could not resist the temptation to bury his nose in her hair. She always smelled nice, reminded him of snowy days when he would have opened the windows of his bedchamber and find himself face to face with the quiet morning and seeing the thick blanket of white snow on every surface, sweet yet not over that you could be intoxicated, more like freshening sweet.

She reminded him of his childhood, the few good parts of it, at the very least.

“Tell me a story.”

There was no doubt in his mind that he had grew fond of their trip, the cozy and warm house that he had the chance of staying in, of the fresh air that it offered from its far distance from even the nearest village where the servants would have gone to should they need to buy supplies, of the woods that gave such a beautiful view that he could wake up to every morning. On top of it all, he would miss how much peace it could bring for both him and Elsa, the latter especially. There were no duties that they should attend to from the morning until late, no meetings that she had to stress over, less pressure against her shoulders.

His head titled to a side as he watched her, blue eyes transfixed in watching her own fingers toyed against his. With her revealing her deepest secret to him, and for the moment that they had shared right before that, Elsa had found it so much easier to show how comfortable she was with him, with her head resting naturally against his shoulder and all, and now he could see just how much she had held back from him just as he did her. “What kind of story?”

It took her a moment to think of an answer, to figure on what she wanted to hear coming from him. “I’m curious about your kingdom,” there was a lump had had suddenly formed in his throat when she had spoken, and he dreaded her request to relief her out of the boredom as they sat in the carriage, the Country of Ánslo behind them. “Tell me about the Southern Isles, I’ve never travelled outside of Arendelle before.”

She was merely curious, he had to remind himself that as he removed his hand from her grasp, running his fingers through his hair instead as he had taken a deep breath. There was a part of him, deep within him, that had wanted to bury his kingdom far away from himself, the kingdom he had never considered his home, yet he was unable to refuse not to tell her anything of it, not without showing how weak he had been before he had met her. “It consists of seven small islands in the middle of a large expand of sea,” compared to Arendelle, whose land were wide and rich with many natural sources, his kingdom was small. “There were no mountains to block the howling winds and no sandy beaches to muffle the roaring surf.”

Elsa had remained silent, no comments had come from her, but the dainty gloved hand resting on his knee encouraged him to continue, the gentle tapping of her fingers against his trousers telling him that she had not fallen asleep and was still listening. “Those who saw the long, low walls surrounding the castle for the first time often had mistaken it for a sea monster.” He didn’t want for her to see that, of the gleaming black rock that was used to construct it, dared he said that he was ashamed of the building that very much so resembled a serpent. No matter how much others that were born and raised in the kingdom loved the castle, to found it beautiful, he didn’t.

“You don’t like talking about your kingdom, do you?”

He had not realized that the platinum blonde haired Queen had turned her head until she was looking up at him, her eyes closely watching his, and from the way her face had looked and from the way she had spoken, he found no need to lie. Thus why he had smiled instead as his hand moved up to capture her chin, his thumb running over her bottom lip. “And since when did you able to read people so easily?”

At this, she had returned his smile, chuckling as she nestled her head closer against his shoulder, a twinkle in her eyes made him wonder why he had not seen this part of Elsa before and what had prompted her to be so teasing lately. “I happen to have a husband that taught me how.”

Chapter Text

Their return was long awaited by the people of Arendelle.

Townspeople had lined themselves at each side of the road that led toward the castle, wishing to see even a mere glimpse of the Queen inside her carriage as the small party came back from Ánslo, joyous to finally have their ruler back safely at her own kingdom as they paid their respect at her by bowing their heads, children waved and cheered that Elsa could not help but to smile and return their wave by her own through the small window she had sat herself beside.

She felt his hand reaching for her free one, intertwining their fingers, and even without turning to look at him, she knew that he was watching her, he always did. It had been a bother for her initially, to have someone’s eyes closely watching her, waiting for her to make some sort of a mistake that he could hold up against her later on; yet now she had realized that he was not looking for a mistake, he was caring for her instead, making sure that she was fine, and her heart fluttered at such simple gesture.

The welcome did not stop even beyond the castle’s walls.

Guards were stationed in a similar manner as the townspeople had been, perfectly lined up at each side of the path across the courtyard, where at the end servants awaited to unload the royal couple’s belonging as well as assisting should they were needed to. Anna stood by the Queen’s ladies-in-waiting, much like she had done when they were to send them away, dressed warmly to accommodate with autumn’s chilly breeze.

Servants moved as soon as the Queen had stepped out from the carriage, followed closely by her husband, under Gerda’s order to prepare for the royal quarters, although Elsa paid little to no mind to them in the background, eyes solely focusing on the sight of her sister.

She was well aware that their relationship had not improved the same that hers did with Hans, and yet even spending what would be counted as a short honeymoon with her husband had succeeded in resulting her to miss the Princess dearly, to miss knowing that somewhere in the castle her sister was present. Yet from the looks of it, Anna’s mood had been better than before, perhaps allowing her to go outside was indeed a great idea.

“I hope your travels were well,” the strawberry blonde haired Princess curtsied the moment the older sister had approached her, and this time she did not avoid meeting her gaze, her turquoise eyes had actually lit up at the sight of the Queen.

“Thank you, Anna.” The smile that grew on her face had been sincere, and though her hands itched to pull her sister into her embrace, to show her just how much she had loved the sister and how much she had missed her, she refrained from doing so. “Have everything been well during my absence?”

Nodding, the Princess had fallen into the same step as her sister did as the Queen began to make her way into the castle, for she found no need to be standing around outside, especially since every other person around her could not bear through the low temperature as well as she. “Yes! Actually I was just about to tell you how thankful I am because you let me go outside.” She imagined how bored Anna would be otherwise, should she have to stay inside even when her sister was not present. “I’ve met with so many people and do so many things that I didn’t think I would do.”

“I’m glad to hear so.” And she wanted to hear more, to sit and talk with the younger sister in a way that others would, have someone bringing them tea and finger food that they could have snacked on as both shared their stories perhaps, but she could not bring herself to put it into words, unable to put Anna into another risk. Thus why she had stopped right at the base of the spiraling staircase and placed a gloved hand over her sister’s upper arm, coaxing for her to do the same as well as to turn her attention fully at her. “I have work that I must attend to now that I’ve returned, I’m sorry, Anna.”

The shrug that the Princess had given her was lighter this time, sincere and not burdened by any means. “You’re the Queen, I completely understand that.”

The piles of paperwork on her desk remained untouched.

Her initial intention of working on them had been forgotten the moment she had walked into the library instead of her study, the door behind her barely shutting closed when her eyes had drifted to the portrait of her father, standing proudly during his own coronation, his light eyes felt like it was looking right at her as she approached, those same eyes who had bestowed so many responsibilities down onto her shoulders, and yet those were the same ones that also had patiently cared for her during the difficult times of her childhood, trying his best to help her no matter how much she had withdrawn from him.

“Father,” the word had escaped through her lips even without her knowledge of what she wanted to say to him, what had troubled her mind so much that she had started to actually talk to portraits, such inanimate object that clearly would not give her any sort of answer. “I did it,” she had gone through her fears and had shared her secret, even when it had only been her husband, and yet he was as important as Anna in her life now, she supposed. “Now, what do I do?” Because now she wanted Anna to know, she wanted to be with her sister the way they had been during their childhood, long before they had drifted apart, but could she really have the courage to do so?

Her brief exchange with Anna had left her smiling, had brought warmth into her heart that for one happy moment her power had once again forgotten the way it had been when she had spent the time with Hans, and she wanted to always feel that way, to feel so weightless with the burden she had grown up with.

Father, I’ll do as you say. The moment she let her eyes closed she could see them standing before her, she could feel her mother’s arm as she grasped it as she assured her that they must limit her contact with people, just the way the King had told them.

But would she do as he had once said now? For it would cost her the happiness that she had starting to build, if she had to regain perfect control before she could open her heart to those she cared the most, and she had grown tired of the isolation that she had put herself in.

“I can’t be what you expect of me.” To be the good girl, one that would do whatever he had told her before the tragic death of the King and Queen, to bear her responsibilities by herself, for she was nothing but a human. “But I would love to know, is it truly dangerous to dream?”

Chapter Text

The thing about alcohol, she had realized, was the effect it had on her mind.

No matter how short her absence from the throne had been, it had left a fair amount of work that she had to catch up to, as even when she had her council to handle many things there were still those that she had to personally attend to herself, thus why after dinner she had excused herself to continue on working, refusing Hans’ offer to stay and accompany her throughout the night, for she believed he deserved the rest he needed.

With nothing but the flickering flame from the candle by her side, she read every paper word by word, making sure that there was not a single thing that she missed that could negatively affected Arendelle, letting her hand skillfully glide across as she held the quill, carving her smooth signature as her approval.

She had reached over to grab a decanter of brandy, pouring the alcoholic beverage into the cup of tea she had requested to be brought her way earlier in the evening, for it was a great way to make sure that she would not nodded off before she had actually done with her work, it could also help in clearing her mind over things that could serve as a distraction for her.

There was a chance that she may have poured a little too much.

For alcohol was able to make her want, to turn her mind bolder, and to increase her desires over things that she previously would only keep to herself. Granted, she had not been too far gone, as she was still quite aware of herself and of her surroundings, she had maintained the regal picture of the Queen effortlessly yet.

Hans was sitting against the headboard with his book in hand when she had walked in, having found herself too tired to continue on with her work, and yet not quite tired enough to not desire him. Because she wanted him, wanted to feel as the married woman that she was, and with his knowledge of what she could do, truly there was nothing that held her back but her own fear, which had been pushed aside to the back of her mind easier than it had before.

Her fingers had curled at the top of his book after she had found herself changed into her nightgown, tugging it out of his grasp and set it aside on the nightstand by his side of the bed, earning herself a raise of his eyebrow as he wordlessly questioned of her intention. Her answer was for her to find herself sitting on his lap, each of her legs beside his, trapping him with her own body as she ran a hand over his jaw, bringing their faces closer together until their lips meet once more.

His hands unabashedly ran over the curves of her body, feeling her underneath the thin material of her gown, pulling her closer until her gloved hands rested against his bare chest. There was a sharp intake of her breath when she felt his knuckles brushed against the skin of her thighs as he took hold of the hem of her nightgown as he started to tug them upward, and he had pulled away then, face flushed as his eyes searched her face for any sort of uncertainty, an unspoken question of whether she was alright with it all.

“It’s fine,” she was not as frightful as she had been, and she wanted this so badly, they have both deserved it, after so long. And for as long as her hands were safely tucked away inside her gloves, there would not be any sort of accident… she hoped.

Continuing to tug against the smooth silk, the material brushed against her skin as he brought it over her head, throwing it aside as she had finally presented herself before her husband after the many months of their marriage in nothing but her own skin, and even she was surprised to find that she did not make any sort of attempt to shield herself away from him, her hands were resting on his waist as she watched his eyes roamed over her body, saw the way he inhaled as his hand brushed her hair away from her face.

And she caught his wrist in her grasp.

“Show me what to do.” Because she was unsure on how, as her only source of what was expected to occur during the consummation of marriage had only been books that she had read, of what she had heard her ladies-in-waiting had discussed when they thought she had not been listening. His smile grew as she let his wrist free, using the said hand to hold hers in return as he placed it over his chest and let the satin glove to run down his abdomen until she was met with the hem of his sleeping pants.

Don’t feel. Her heart raced against her chest in all of the sudden, for she had felt his hardness against her own hips, and she had pulled her hands away as she attempted to calm herself for what to come. He had tugged her close for another kiss, and just now as he had turned the tables around until she was now the one with her back against the mattress while he hovered above her, that she realized the kiss had been his way to distract her mind, to take her worries away and focus her into the pleasure that had awaited.

He had skillfully taken care of his pants during their kiss that by the time she had pulled away, he was just as nude as she was. With her eyes traveling further south, heat filled her cheeks as they settled to the one thing that she had never seen of a man’s body before.

Pulling her into another kiss, his touches were gentle against her, and she readied herself for what to come, because she knew it would be soon, her arms moving to wrap around his neck just as he pushed himself into her.

It had hurt less than she had imagined.

Perhaps it was the way of how he had kissed her, or the way of how gentle he had been, because it felt hot, fulfilling, opening her into something unknown that her past self would have found to be frightening, but it was incredible instead.

It made her felt alive.

They were silent saved from the sounds of their moans and of their panting, of the sounds of skin meeting skin as their bodies moved, and he had dipped his head to kiss her breasts, to have his mouth ravishing the soft skin of her chest, and her back arched in respond, hips buckling against his as she found her fingers entangled in his auburn hair.

Hans had picked up his pace, and it made it all felt so much better, building her into something more, a swelling and steaming sensation in the pit of her stomach that she could hardly comprehend, pleasure coursing through her veins and fire pulsing through her skin as her gloved fingers dug onto his back, the pressure that had built within her was starting to get too much, making her feel as if she was about to burst.

She could not help the moan that had escaped her lips, the loudest one that she had elicited since they had started, her head thrown back against the pillow as her toes curled, eyes shutting tightly as her world might as well had turned white.

Her body was shaking as she came down from the high of her orgasm, holding onto him as he had his own face buried at the crook of her neck, letting out a deep groan as he filled her, his body rolling off her to his side of the bed, sated and panting as he laid on his side to face her, and she moved to gently press her lips against his.

Never in her life did she ever felt something like this, her emotions intensified and yet she felt as if she was in complete control. She had looked up, and suddenly she was in awed, for there was a thin and delicate layer of frost covering the ceiling, beautiful and reflecting the moonlight outside, and for once she was not afraid to see her power.

His fingers curled around her chin, bringing her attention back to him as he pressed a lingering kiss over her lips as a hand moved to rest against her abdomen. “Show me what to do.”

Chapter Text

Give me your gloves.

She had many of those, stored safely in a separated chest, should the ones she wore was ruined beyond repair, for it had happened many times before as she exercised her ability to remain calm and to control her magic the way her father had taught her. To conceal and not to feel, to not let anyone knows of it.

Yet there was only one pair that she had kept securely all these years, could not bring herself to wear it again for she was afraid she would damage the very fabric of it, her very first ones that once belonged to her mother. She wore gloves the way Hans would, not to conceal any sort of magic but out of a habit that had grown within themselves, and when Elsa had lost control of her power for the very first time, when she had injured her own sister and have their fate decided upon themselves then, her Father had told his wife to give her gloves for the young girl to wear, despite it being too large for her hands, to see if it could truly keep her magic inside and in check.

She could learn to control it. Her Mother had been the most hopeful, had been the one that initially objected to the idea of her daughters’ separation from each other, for they were nothing but children, young and naïve. She was always been the one who searched for answers to how she could help her oldest, on why she had been born the way that she was, for she desired nothing but for the four of them to become family again.

Opening one of the drawers on her vanity, her eyes laid on the old gloves there, untouched and secured, giving some sort of relief, for no matter what, no matter what had happened, she kept assuring herself that her Mother still believed in her, believed that she could finally fulfill her wish for the sisters to mend their bond.

Even her own reflection reminded her of her own Mother, many had claimed that she was the one who shared the most features with the late Queen aside from the color of her hair, and she wondered if she had been born normal, had been born without the icy touch that she possessed, that her hair would have the color of that of her Mother’s.

The arms that come to wrap themselves around her waist prompted a quiet sigh to escape her lips as she leaned back against her husband’s chest, his sturdy figure was able to make her feel that he could shield her from anything, anything but her own mind. “Are you alright?” His murmur was quiet against the back of her ear, nose brushing against her skin, and after their night of passion his touches could no longer startle her power into freezing the inside of her gloves.

“I’m fine.”  Watching them in the reflection of the mirror before her, she noted the way he held her and the way her body responded to it, one of her hands had moved up to reach his jaw while the other had pushed the open drawer back in, and even the high-collared dress could not prevent his exploring lips to pepper her jaw with his feather kisses. “We have to go, Hans.” For even as much as she enjoyed being with him, she could not just abandon her responsibilities.

With fingers grasping her chin, he brought her to face him, planting a lingering kiss on her lips before he had finally let her go, stepping back as she made one last look on the reflection, eyes looking for even a strand of platinum blonde hair falling out of the bun, and only when she had found none did she let her eyes darted away.

Even through the gloves they both wear his hand was warm as he took hers in his grasp, bringing her knuckles to his lips as he kissed it, and never once did his gaze on her was broken. “You’re capable of more than you know, Elsa.”

She felt strangely familiar with the whole situation.

Finding herself in her study, and yet she sat on the lounge by the large window instead of behind her desk, waiting. She could feel the golden band beneath her glove as she fiddled with the small piece of jewelry that had never once left her finger, the smooth surface rolled against her skin as she wished, just for once, she could have the courage to take her gloves off long enough to see light reflecting off her ring. There was no rush in her request, and yet she could not help but wonder of how much longer she should sit so quietly.

Everything in her whole life, everything she had built and every practice that she had done to be better, had led to this. For everything that she had done was to prepare herself to be the one thing that she had always wanted to be, to rid of the largest burden that had weighted her down the longest. She had pulled inside herself every time a chance was offered to her, close the walls to her heart and putting on her guard; but had she not practiced for this every single day of her life? Then why was it so hard for her to bring herself to do it?

She knew why.

Her Father had told her that she could not show it, of that she was not as cold as she had seemed, because there were things that people still could not know, at least not now. Even to open herself to Hans had been so hard, and if he hadn’t been so pursuing then she feared that she would still be hiding herself away from him; thus why she was not going to tell anyone else yet, not when she was not ready for it.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” The Princess had prompted her to look up then, to where she was standing at the doorway, perhaps unsure if she was even supposed to enter. “Did you ask for me, Elsa?” Only when she had nodded and motioned her to come in did Anna stepped inside, shutting the door behind her before she had lowered herself at the other end of the lounge. “Is everything alright? Because I swear I didn’t steal the chocolate from the top drawer in the kitchen, I was not even anywhere near-”

“It’s not that, Anna.” She could not help the amused chuckle that had escaped her lips then, for her younger sister truly had thought that eating the one dessert they both had loved dearly would have gotten her into trouble until she had to face the Queen for it. “I found this, in the passageways,” taking the book that she had brought with her, a little dusty with time; she had shown it to the Princess. “Do you remember it?”

Anna’s fingers were cautious as she reached forward, for fear of damaging the leather-bound book or touching her sister’s hand, she could not tell, but once she did, it had only taken the younger a short while before nodding. “It’s Mother’s book, one of them anyway, she used to read this when we were…” her voice had trailed off before she had finished her thought, and yet still Elsa was able to know what she had meant.

“It was your favorite, if I had remembered correctly.” The strawberry blonde haired Princess would have always picked that one particular story for their Mother to read, huddled together by the large triangular window, no matter how often it was read to them Anna had always been so excited to hear it coming from the late Queen’s lips, and often she had fallen soundly asleep by the end of it.

“It’s a tale with a house made entirely out of candy, who doesn’t want that?” The younger sister had laughed then, and there was no way that the older could avoid not joining her, for they had always been such sweet-tooth since they were young. “I mean of course there’s the witch part that obviously no one wants, but you have always promised me that you would protect me from things like that, I couldn’t remember how but I do remember you had sounded so confident about it so I was never been afraid of finding a candy house in the middle of the woods.”

Don’t worry, Anna, if there is a witch that wants to eat you, I would freeze her butt. That had been her promise then, one that no matter how hard she tried, Anna would never remember for even the slightest memory of her magic had been wiped away for her own safety. “I would still protect you, no matter what.” She still tried to fulfill that promise, even when she was trying to protect the Princess from herself.

Turquoise eyes had looked up then, wide and blinking in surprise as she stared at the Queen sitting across from her, the fingers that had been skimming through the yellowed pages of the book came into a sudden stop. “You love me. You really, really, love me.”

“Of course I do, Anna, I’m your sister.” From the moment she had been told that she was to be an older sister, she had promised herself that she would be the sister that Anna deserved, and when she had not been the one that she knew Anna wanted, she had tried with all her heart to be the one that she needed. “It’s why I had called for you here, I… wanted to apologize.” For everything that she had done, every pain that she had caused her, every broken heart and every door that she had slammed closed in her face.

“Why?” The strawberry blonde haired Princess had shut the book in her lap then, placing it onto the cushion of the lounge while her eyes remained fixed on her older sister. “Elsa, you didn’t do anything wrong, if any it should be me who apologized, for acting like a child, to not respect your personal boundaries, you don’t like to be touched and I should have known that from the very beginning, I… I can understand that you may have found me so impulsive and that you can’t stand that. It just that… I missed you, Elsa, I missed my sister.”

It had not been what she had in mind when she mulled over the possibilities of what Anna would have said about her apology, for her to say such things had taken the words out of her mouth and made her mind went into a blank for a moment that she had to sit in silence as her mind processed it over and over. Because she had thought that Anna would have been somewhat upset, perhaps even agreeing by pointing out more bitter truths about her; yet her words had been so sincere that it had pained her as the younger had expressed the same feeling that she had in her heart.

“I missed you too, Anna.”

Chapter Text

“Tell me more.”

Their return to Arendelle had been weeks ago, and ever since then he could see the grow in Elsa’s eyes, of how much easier it was for her to go with her day now that she had him knowing of what she could do, serving as the sole listener to her during the night without her need to hide. Her Council had given her less pressure, for now, as they were well-informed that they both had finally consummate with their marriage, yet knowing these men, he knew it would not take them long enough to start on the topic of heirs.

It had never once come into a discussion between them, Elsa was rather silent about it, and he understood on why. She struggled with her power, day by day, working her way slowly into having full control over it, for her to bear a child at this time could only add up to the stress burdening her down, and should their child inherit her power then—

He would not mind, of course, he had always wanted to have a family; raise a proper one that would ensure that his children would not suffer the way he had been, the way Elsa had been, power or no power.

The platinum blonde haired woman had her head tilted to a side as she looked at him in wonder, one eyebrow rose in question at his vague request. “Of what?”

“Your powers, of what was said of it.” He had promised her that he would help, no matter how, and as for now, his best chance to fulfill that was to understand better of what they were dealing with. There were glimpses of things that he had learned over time by watching her; as example, her emotions were the main thing that triggered it, if she had become upset or emotional then it would be harder for her to control it, and often the insides of her gloves would freeze along with the dropping in the temperature around her.

There was silence as her blue eyes watched his face, and he was patient enough to wait for her to gather her thoughts and courage to speak up, something that they truly had to exercise more of her if he wanted her to be more confident as Queen. “Fear will be my enemy,” then she had been feeding it, by fearing herself, doubting of the control that he knew she had deep inside of her. “And death it’s consequence.”

She feared that she would hurt someone, as she could whether it was out of her own wish or not, and although he himself had tried to avoid the thought, hearing her said it herself had made him consider that she truly was capable of taking someone’s life.

A part of his mind had urged him to ask if she had hurt someone before, for she looked so certain of her inability to fully control it, however well she had been every time that they had spent their time together, day and night, yet there was another part that had told him not to, for he had to wait until Elsa herself would tell him, for it to come from deep within herself.

“Perhaps, instead of hiding it, to conceal it deep within yourself,” his fingers ran through the thick locks of platinum blonde hair as he spoke of his thoughts, of the idea that had come his way as he tried to figure the meaning behind what she had told him, for wordings could mean something more than what had been said. “You should let it go.”

“You know I can’t do that,” had it been his imagination or had he truly caught the sense of tiredness in her voice as she spoke, in such way as if she had really given up at the mere thought of it. “People will see and I—”

The way of him silencing her had been to press his lips against hers, to feel her desperation and her distraught from the way she had kissed him, and his heart ached at how miserable Elsa was, and for him to discover only when she had revealed her well-kept secret. “We can go somewhere; I will take you to a place away from Arendelle, far from prying eyes. And you can practice; you can let yourself be free, if only for a moment.”

“God, you’re so persistent.” Her quiet laugh against his lips had only prompted his smile to grow, for it had been his persistence that had brought them together like this, if he had not been working his way with her, to give her the assurance that she could trust him, then perhaps she would still hide in the shadows, all alone facing what she had been born with.

“You like that about me.”

The amusement had made her shook her head as she pulled away, dainty fingers running over his sideburn as she hummed. “Fine, when my schedule isn’t such a tight mess, we could go.” He may have the need to wear warmer clothing then, as they were nearing winter as well. “In the meantime,” the way her body moved to settle herself on top of him, the way her fingers had run over the muscles of his abdomen, he had understood her intention without her need to put it into words, but he loved when she did. “I’m not quite tired yet, do you, husband?”

Truly he could not help the chuckle that escaped him by the way of her invitation, of how alluring her voice had become as she sat before him, for this was the Elsa that she would not let anyone to know but him, and dared he said that she was a natural. She may have hidden behind closed doors, with such minimum contact with the outside world, but her body knew what it need and what pleased her, she knew what she wanted and how to get it.

He was not complaining in one bit.

Grasping her by the hips, he had urged her to lean forward until their lips met once again before his hand had made its way up her back, following the curve of her spine through the thin material of her nightgown as she hummed in contentment. The air she breathed into his mouth was icy, pearl white teeth nibbling against his bottom lip as he let his hands wandered.

“Didn’t you say you have a Council meeting in the morning, wife?” The question had not been asked in a serious manner, more of a tease if he had to be honest with himself, for it was quite the satisfaction to see the roll of her eyes as she had only pressed herself closer against his torso.

“Then don’t keep me waiting.”

She was driving him mad, this side of Elsa that he discovered beneath the picture of the perfect Queen, and he was just a man with his own natural desires. It had taken him a mere effort to turn the tables, for his wife was such a slender figure that he could just flip the two of them together so easily, and the way her platinum blonde hair had fallen to frame her face reminded him of a halo glowing for such angel.

Her arms wrapped around his neck as he leaned down to taste her mouth once more, and even through the gloves she wore he could still feel the cold against the skin of his back, though it was but a mere thought pushed aside to the back of his mind as Elsa’s lips parted for him.

Time had always been such a trifling thing when they were together.

Chapter Text

She had been in such repetitive cycle from the beginning of her reign.

With Hans knowing more than anyone else had and the slow and yet sure mending of her relationship with Anna, she had found herself in such a surprisingly different turn of event than she had once feared for. Her marriage, once dreaded, had now become the solid foundation with her to go on, to work harder on achieving control of her power; her sister had not been as distant with her and she in turn had tried her best to show the Princess how much she actually cared.

Of course, all good things come with a price, she supposed.

Her Council had been her least favorite thing to face almost every single day of her life. They served her to help her manage her kingdom, yes, they advised her on decisions she was to make and give her feedback on what she should do; but they were just so demanding. She was Queen, yet she was human still, and she had her own limitations and capability, there were things she couldn’t and wouldn’t do.

“I will not agree to it,” she could feel the headache that would soon befall her as she massaged her temples, shoulders tensing as she sat in her place at the head of the long table. “I do not see why it’s a necessary decision to have her—”

“It’s for a precaution, Your Majesty.” Her eyes flickered up when Lord Melbourne had spoken when she had not even finished her sentence yet, it should have been considered to be a disrespect to cut off the Queen like so, yet he appeared to not put any mind to it as he continued on. “To assure that the Arendelle’s royal bloodline continued on.”

“It could also strengthen our alliance with another kingdom further, considering the fact that our kingdom has become a desirable trade partner by many.” Another man had spoken up, although she could not put her mind on whom as she was still partly distracted by the thought that they had believed that she and Hans would not conceive. “It is a great opportunity, Your Majesty.”

Her kingdom was to be the sole purpose of her existence, her main focus as Queen, a nation for her to rule and mind above all else that ever concern her. Apparently, her own devotion was not enough to satisfy the need for power for her Council. “Princess Anna will not be involved into a betrothal.” Princes and Lords could come and try to win the Princess’ heart, and the Queen’s blessing, but she would not see her sister forced into something that she did not want. She herself was enough. “And that is my final decision as Queen.”

“But Your Majesty—”

“And do not worry, gentlemen,” pushing herself out of her seat with both her hands pressed flat against the smooth mahogany as her eyes were met with those of the men before her. “You would be well-informed when there is a baby growing in my belly, I can assure you that.”

The sky was clear above them.

A promise is a promise, no matter how different she had felt about it by each step that Sitron had taken as they journeyed through the forest, pine trees looming over them as she held onto the man in front of her, feeling the autumn wind whistling past her ears and wondered if she would shiver if only the cold could bother her. The further they had gone through the more she believed that Hans’ intention was for them to head to the North Mountain, a place they should not be heading to with such minimal amount of supply and preparation.

“Had you really said so?” They had been talking of course, to not let silence engulfed them that would only make the way feel further than it was already is, and Hans had seemed to be rather interested in her most recent meeting with her Council.

“Would I be lying?” Now that she had speak of it with her husband, there was a growing feeling of pride that had settled within her, as she had found the courage to speak up against the men that had attempted to use her and her position as Queen. When he had chuckled and asked of how the men inside the Council room had looked, she had only shrugged, although of course he could not see it. “I may have rendered them speechless.”

The shake of his head and the amused laugh that followed made her own smile grew as she felt one of his hands grasp hers, holding it close to his heart. “I would give anything to be there and see that.”

She had almost let out a sigh of relief once they had finally stopped, just at the edge of a grove of willow trees entering the proximity of the mountain, and she knew even without feeling it that it was far colder than back in Arendelle. “Why do we have to be this far from the kingdom?” She had questioned as her husband helped her off the horse, his hands grasping her waist securely and contrary to the first time that they had rode together; they had remained there even after her feet had touched the ground.

“The closest we are to the Mountain the less suspicious it is to have snow present before the actual winter.” He informed as he pressed his lips against her cheekbone before he his hands slipped away from her and turned his attention to Sitron, taking his reins as he led the horse to a nearby tree, in a distance appropriate to keep an eye but enough to not have the animal be spooked by what she assumed would be done by her soon enough.

“Aren’t you cold though?” His cheeks and the tip of his nose and reddened by the amount of blood pumping onto his face by his body to keep him warm, puff of white cloud coming from between his lips every time he spoke, and if only her own hands hasn’t been producing their own chill then she would have pressed them against his face.

He chuckled once he had made his way back to her, standing before her a head taller than she as he cupped her face in his hands instead. “Don’t worry about me,” his smile had made warmth to spread on her own cheeks due to how sincere it was that her own heart had picked up the pace of it’s beating against her chest. “This is all about you. Don’t be afraid.”

“But what if I accidentally hurt you?”

“You won’t. I believe in you.” The satin brushed against her skin as his hands left her face, a touch of encouragement perhaps, yet it almost felt as if her heart had come into a sudden stop at his words of that he, like her mother, had his belief on her, of that she was capable of it, and she suddenly wanted to cry.

Because now, with him by her side, she realized that she no longer had to be alone.

Making her way to stand in the middle of the grove, minding that Hans was there with her at the sidelines, in no plan to leave and flee in fear, she wanted him to watch. Taking a deep breath helped her to steady her hands as she carefully pull the gloves she had worn for the day, reminding herself that this was similar to her own practice back in the castle, in the privacy behind her closed doors while no one was around, tugging them off until the air brushed against her skin, not warm like it usually would feel against the cold temperature of her skin, it matched the coldness within her, and for once she felt as if she belonged.

With the first burst of ice that came from her open palm, she felt the magic surged within her, eager and ready to come out after she had concealed them for so long, and this time, just like how Hans had told her to, she had let go.

It was not in her intention to sing, but the sensation that coursed through her, the adrenaline that ran through her veins, the burden that had suddenly been lifted off her shoulders and left her feeling so light, all of those had prompted her to fall into a tune that described of what she had kept to herself, words that she could not express under normal circumstances, all the while her body moved along with the swirl of ice she created.

Her voice had only rose as her confidence grew with the melody that came from her lips, for it was time for her to see what she could actually do, what she was capable of, to test her limits and to break through, and even without the presence of music, the sounds created as her magic came in contact with her surrounding was enough to keep her going.

Ice crystals gleamed brilliantly under the sun, reflecting a pleasant icy blue tone against the soft white snow underneath her feet, water droplets froze and chiming sounds echoed every time they made contact with each other, the water of the lake nearby had been covered in a smooth layer of ice, thick enough for someone to step on, unbreakable.

Her powers had flurried from the air and into the ground, her soul felt as if it was spiraling along with the frozen fractals all around her, one single thought coming from her could crystallize like an icy blast, and she was not going back into the self-isolation that she had put herself into. She would not.

When she had finally finished with herself, satisfied with the beauty that she did not even know she was capable of if it had not been encouraged for her to let it out, her eyes fluttered close as light snow fell against her skin, maintaining their shapes even when they came in contact with her, because her body did not produce the heat capable of melting them.

“It’s beautiful,” the awed voice that had come from behind her served as a reminder that she was not alone, and when she had turned to see the man that might as well have been responsible for everything that she was currently feeling, her smile had grew so wide her face would have hurt. He was standing there, so handsome, with snowflakes in his auburn hair and gleaming eyes astonished by his surrounding as he made his way toward her, his hands finding their way on her waist so easily, lifting her up in the air as if she weighted nothing to him while she laughed and asked, rather out of amusement, of what he was referring to. “Your creation, your voice; you are beautiful.”

It was only after he had set her down, after a twirl or two in the air; that she realized the bun her hair had been pulled into had turned into a loose. His fingers were delicate as they worked behind her head, near the nape of her neck, tugging her hair free and settling the single thick platinum blonde hair on her left shoulder before moving on to brush her bangs back and away from her eyes. “It’s all because of you, Hans.”

The scoff that had come from him was unexpected, she had thought he would smile or chuckle, but instead he had let his hand rested against her cheek after tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Me? The credits are all yours to take, wife; it’s all because you let no one, not even yourself, to hold you back.”

Hans was as humble as he was dashing, to not acknowledge that it was he would have make her push herself into doing this, into letting her powers go beyond her instead of pushing it back and burying it deep within her, to not pretend that they were not there. Yet just this once, she would not protest against his words, instead slipping her gloves back on before he had taken her hand, this time though she did not feel burdened by having them on, and let him lead her back to where Sitron had awaited them.

“You have to sing for me once in a while, Elsa.” The auburn haired man had told her as he helped her to sit on the saddle before mounting the horse himself, taking hold of the reins as he turned the fjord horse around back to the path they had taken earlier. “I would love to hear your singing again.”

Chapter Text

An afternoon tea with her sister was supposed to be something pleasant.

This had been anticipated by the both of them for weeks; to be able to sit and talk with each other, to do something so mundane without duties and responsibilities to attend to, to slowly break the thick wall that she had built between them so that both could feel the sisterly bond that they had thirsted and craved for.

Yet how could she enjoy such calming moment when her stomach had been churning from the morning, when the late night ailment that had befallen her and had prompted her to cough out her dinner had prevent her from even enjoying her breakfast, the sour taste had still lingered in her mouth that she barely had eaten anything. Hans had questioned it to her, had asked if she had been ill, something in which she had brushed away because she couldn’t be sick, she had never ever since she was a child.

Anna’s voice had come and go as she sat opposite from her, lips moving as she talked, or has it been a ramble, she could not tell; and should she was not silently struggling not to vomit or worse have her entire vision turned dark, she assumed she would found her sister’s story to be an interesting one, as from the bits that she could pick up it had seemed that the Princess had met an ice harvester in town by falling into his sled.

“What was his name, again?” It was bad enough that she could barely focus herself on listening to her sister; she did not want Anna to be aware of it too. Thus perhaps asking a simple question would be able to mask it, after all she could not recall any name has been mentioned.

The Princess’ words came into a stop as she looked at her older sister, and for a moment Elsa had almost feeling as if she should not have asked that, for she feared that Anna had just mentioned the ice harvester’s name right before she had spoken. “Oh, I didn’t catch his name.” The strawberry blonde haired Princess had shrugged; and the Queen had almost let out a sigh of relief. “He left with his reindeer as soon as I said I was sorry, a little rude if I may say, but Elsa, he has a reindeer as a pet.”

She had lifted her cup of tea as she listened; bringing it close to her lips to take a sip, and while the beverage had warmed her insides, her stomach did not come into term with her as once again it had twisted as she tried not to drop her cup.

“Elsa, is there something wrong?” The tone that her sister had given her was enough to tell how bad she may have looked, she could see the Princess’ hand reaching out to take hers in an instinct, yet pulled it back away when she had realized the mistake she was about to make.

Her brows furrowed as she tried to focus on anything other than her stomach, or her hands that had started to freeze the insides of her gloves again, or even the slow dropping of the temperature around them. For a moment she forced herself to see Hans in her mind, using him as her rock as she pushed back the bile that had started to risen. “I’m just feeling a little unwell, Anna.”

“Do you need a doctor?” Her head shook slowly at the offer, for there was no need to trouble anyone further with something as minor as her feeling nausea. “You need to rest then,” she wasn’t even allowed to protest as already Anna motioned for the Queen’s ladies-in-waiting to come in their direction. “You can’t push yourself like this, Elsa; it’s not good for you.”

A part of her wished to protest, for she had been planning this afternoon tea to be perfect, and yet she was the one who ruined it, the whole purpose of it has been thrown out of the window by her own mistake of feeling sick; yet there was also a part of her, a more rational one she supposed, that just let her have the ladies to escort her back into her bedchamber, the idea of just lying down on her bed felt so tempting not to pass.

As she walked away though, she was still able to catch her sister’s voice as she questioned of Hans’ whereabouts to a female servant that had come after seeing the afternoon had been cut short between the two sisters.

“I have heard that you’re ill.”

Having the last meeting that she was supposed to attend to right before dinner been postponed due to the Queen’s requirement to rest to avoid any further ailment that may befallen her, she had spent the rest of her day reading in bed with a warm towel being laid over her stomach by Gerda, as the Governess had told her that it could help soothing her upset stomach.

The dinner brought into her bedchamber had consisted of a bowl of piping hot soup accompanied with a piece of garlic bread and a glass of warm water. On any other circumstances, ones where her stomach had not been so sensitive, she would always have wine for dinner, today had been an exception that she did not even think would come her way.

“It may have been nothing.” She had told her husband, who had walked into their bedchamber as soon as dinner had ended, attending in her place despite her knowledge that he would have wanted to be by her side. Gerda had come back to replace the warm towel when she had come to retrieve the food tray. “I’m feeling better already.” It may have been her exhaustion that had led her into feeling sick, nothing more.

“It may have been something.” Hans had taken a seat at the edge of the bed by her side, taking her gloved hand and placing it against his cheek. “Anna said you looked rather sick, and that you’re feeling quite nauseous?” When she had nodded, for there was nothing to hide from him if she did not wish for him to only worry more, he had sighed as he pressed a kiss against her palm before letting her hand go to undo his cravat, and her own hands could not help but starting to unbutton his vest. “Are you sure the doctor isn’t needed to be called?”

“It’ll pass.” People do have an upset stomach every once in a while, no one is invincible after all, and apparently even her powers did not exclude her from it. “Come to bed with me, I’m getting tired.”

If there was one thing that she would believe would be the cure to her illness, then it would have been his smile, no matter how amused he was the smile that he had on his face could still make her insides fluttered. “That’s a first.” His chuckle was accompanied with the roll of her eyes as he finally had gotten rid of his shoes, rounding the bed to his side before he pulled her close into his arms, her back pressed against his firm chest while his hand gently rested against her stomach.

“Careful now, husband,” she tutted as she let her eyes fluttered close, instead letting her other senses to acknowledge of his presence against her, of how his nose brushed against the skin of her neck through her thick platinum blonde hair or how his heart thumped against her back. “Once I have regained my health, you’ll pay for the words that came from that sweetened mouth of yours.”

His breath was hot on her skin as he chuckled. “If you are referring to what I have in mind,” his whisper was quiet, alluring and sent shiver down her spine. “Then I hardly think that as a punishment, darling wife.”

Chapter Text

There was something different in the way people looked at her.

Her suspicion laid mostly on the fact that the date of her birthday was soon be upon them, merely a few days before Christmas and she had to hold herself back from scoffing at it every time she was reminded that of course the Queen who bear the power of ice and snow was to be born on the Winter Solstice, and although she was not a fan of any sort of celebration, the amount of people that would surround her still sent shiver down her spine, as the reigning Queen she could no longer hide away in her bedchamber and celebrated it alone.

Granted, she had never actually celebrated her turning of age ever since what had happened, there was no reason to when she could not have her sister to blow the candles with her, gifts were given to her and her parents often urged her to be more ecstatic about it, but she just couldn’t. Not when that day would only make her feel even lonelier.

Yet now her Council had insisted that there was to be a ball, if not for her birthday then for Christmas, and she was partly glad that they did not pressure her to have two separated events for occasions that were merely three days apart.

It had been something that bothered her mind too, if she was to be honest, for her Council seemed to be giving her some sort of ease that they usually would not do. There was no pressure, no urges that would usually give her a headache whenever she returned back from rather heated meetings. Perhaps she had looked so terrible with her illness that they had considered giving her some breathing space, though her nausea had thankfully decreased in within a week and now she was mostly back to her own self.

“Perhaps they realized that pressuring you would not do anything but add to your stress.” Her afternoon had not been cramped with schedules and she had found herself preferring to read inside the castle’s library as she waited for dinner time instead of doing her work, just for today, and Hans had offered his company so she would not be so alone in such a big place. “Stress would only complicate things anyway.”

His way of speaking gave an unsettling feeling for her, as if he was referring to something that she should know but not. “It’s just… strange.” With her fingers finding their way tangling through his auburn hair as he laid his head on her lap, she noted how his hand held her free one close to his face. “How do you celebrate your birthday, back in the Southern Isles?” He has a large family, she could only imagine how often celebrations must be held in his kingdom, not to mention how each of his older brothers all have families too.

“I don’t really celebrate it, actually.” His answer made her brows furrowed further, the moment of silence that had come before it was no better either. “I do not think my father found it necessary to.” There were similarities that they shared together more than she had once thought, for although for different reason, they somewhat lived such isolated lives. His head turned then, to look at her, with a smile on his face as he placed her hand on his chest, right over where his heart beats. “But of course, it’s different when it comes to you, you’re the Queen.”

Yet sometimes she found herself wishing that she was not.

She truly could not avoid how reality loved to toy with her.

The ball had started in the similar fashion as her coronation one had, with her presence being announced as she walked through the doors, followed by her husband and then last but not least her sister. Although this time the feeling that she had within her had been different, much improved if she dared to say. During her coronation she had been feeling so alone, her sister had been present and so did Hans, back when he was still nothing but her betrothed, confused and overwhelmed with the thought of awaiting expectations that lay before her. Now, she had her husband with the knowledge of her deepest secret yet, and her sister had warmed up to her more than she had once dared hope, thus why her heart had felt lighter than it had been back then.

Most importantly, her health had returned back to normal, leaving no trace of it as it was never there in the first place, and it brought her great relief to know she would not become sick in the middle of the ballroom and bring unnecessary attention her way.

It had not taken Anna long to find herself already mingling on the dance floor with the other guests after she had successfully avoided the offer to dance with the Duke of Weselton, skirt flaring as she danced the night away and engaged herself with conversation with the dignitaries and other royal guests that had been sent to send the regards from their respective kingdoms.

Left standing alone, for Hans had also gone somewhere after she had shaken her head to his offer of a dance–she did not dance and it had not been their wedding ceremony where she was required to share a dance with her husband, soon she had found herself needing to actually come down to the ballroom floor, if not to let a guest or two to speak with her then to find herself something to eat.

Chocolate fondue had been the best dish she had tasted, she was not even surprised by now for chocolate, and any other sweet treats she could get her hands on actually; had been her absolute favorite since she was young, a trait she shared closely with her sister. Though it had been a tad too sweet for her liking, yet she knew Anna would have no problem with it.

The glass of champagne that was offered her way was accepted gratefully from the young servant as he had passed by, for it was such a perfect timing in which she had been looking for a drink after what she had eaten.

“Elsa!” The rim of the glass had not even touched her lips when her sister’s somewhat alarmed voice had made her to turn her head toward where the strawberry blonde haired Princess was making her way. “What are you doing?”

Such an odd question to be asked of her, when it was as clear as crystals of what she was doing, with the tall glass in her hand and all, and her brows had furrowed as she held the glass a little higher to show her sister. “I’m having a drink, Anna.”

“But you can’t drink that.” The Princess moved forward, hand reaching for the glass that the older had held out of her grasp. When questioned about it, of why she could not drink something that she would most definitely have a taste of during public events such as this, the younger sister now had her brows furrowed as she step back to look at the Queen’s face properly. “Of course you can’t, not when you’re… you know.”

“When I’m what?”

“Pregnant.”

The Princess’ answer had left her mouth agape as her mind attempted to process it, of how absurd it had been, how unexpected for such topic to even come up in her sister’s mind. “How did you even-”

“I completely understand, Elsa, of your desire to keep it to yourself and all for now.” The strawberry blonde haired sister had not even waited for the older to finish with her sentence as she had started to ramble of how some mothers to-be do like to keep their pregnancy as their own little secret during the first stages. There were mentions of how she should have been minding herself more now, and how Hans had been telling her Council to give her space behind her back, yet she could not remember in detail of the exact words that her sister had used, for her head had beginning to spin as she realized of what her husband and Anna had done without her knowledge.

“I’m not pregnant.”

Anna’s ramble came into a complete stop then, as she turned to look at her sister, perhaps even waiting for her expression to change into one that would tell her that it was a mere joke, but the Queen’s face remained as stoic as her voice had been. “Why of course you are.” The confidence in her voice was unbelievable, as if her sister knew her body better than herself. “You were nausea, you vomit often, you were not drinking your wine and you were being picky about your food. You were also rather moody, Hans told me that.”

“Because I was sick, food poisoning.” She truly should not have taken the time to sneak into the kitchen in the night in search of something to snack on without knowing what it was, it was a lesson she had learned the hard way on. “My stomach was sensitive on what I eat; of course I picked my food carefully.” And people do tend to be a bit more emotional when they were not feeling well; honestly she was not made of stone that would not budge when faced with something.

“But-”

“Do you even realize what you have done?” She understood now, of why people looked at her the way they did, of why her Council had strangely withdrawn from pressuring her, because they thought that she had finally able to conceive, to have the heir everyone seemed to have been waiting for. And perhaps she should not have been angry at Anna, to use the tone that had made the girl slightly flinched away from her, but she was beginning to get tired of everything. “That’s a false assumption of the Queen, Anna; it affects more than you think it does.” It would not be easy to dismiss of it, to rid herself of the ‘news’ that was not even there in the first place, and she would have been the one who had to mind it all, the one that would have the continuous headache while everyone else could do nothing but be as demanding as they come. “The party is over.”

They were far from the estimated time of when it was supposed to end; but she could no longer stand it, now that she was given a fresh headache by her own sister and her mood had decreased drastically, and the Queen could call off the party whenever she liked to anyway.

“What? Elsa; no, wait!” The fingers curling around her hand were warm, so similar with Hans’ touch, and yet they were dainty and thin instead of his larger ones, and she was reminded of who it was. Her instinct was of course to pull her hand away, to avoid any unwanted contact that her sister had given her, because she still unable to bring herself to be touched when her guard had been down.

Her hand did slipped away, but the brush of satin against her skin and the sudden air that surrounded it made her realized that her hand was now exposed to the open, and unlike when she was away with Hans as her only company, she did not feel the same feeling of freedom. “Give me my glove!”

What had driven the Princess to hold it out of her reach instead of returning what belonged to her, she did not know, but she could not even bring herself to reach out and take it, her gloved hand only clutched the bare one close to her chest to keep it from summoning the magic that pulsed right under her skin, her feet taking unknowing steps backward as she tried to distance herself with her sister, for her own good, but the Princess had only taken steps forward.

“No, not until you tell me why you had been so cold to me.” Answers, why had everyone been demanding that of her lately, without knowing how much they had burdened her they had continued on asking over and over again, from the smallest of things to ones she could not provide the answer to.

It almost seemed that even the mentioning of the word could trigger her magic, for she could feel the tips of her fingers starting to pulse harder with frost, ready to be unleashed. “Anna, please, that’s enough.” Her voice had come as nothing but a whisper, a desperate one as she could already feel the door behind her, the brass knob pressing against the small of her back.

“You have been warming up to me lately, yes, but now you’re suddenly returned to how you treated me years ago.” Perhaps, in the midst of her emotions, Anna could not hear her sister, to see how much she had pushed the Queen to the edge, how close she was to falling. “Do you honestly think you can reel me on and off however you like? You can’t do that to me, I’m your sister!”

To have her sister pouring her emotions, her anger and her irritation, of everything that she had felt without the knowledge that all she had done was for Anna’s own sake, right at her face in the middle of a party, caused her heart to race against her chest, for her magic to swirl as if there were a storm brewing deep inside her, and she could no longer see the people that had turned their attention at the sisters, obvious in their quarrel, wondering of what had happened.

All that was left in her was to protect herself, to shield her away from the prying eyes, to rid of the gripping feeling around her heart.

“I said, enough!”

Chapter Text

A moment was all it takes for the magic to go out of control.

Her hand had waved as she turned to shout at Anna, to express of what she had been feeling within her, for a moment forgetting of the fact that her hand was bare, ungloved, and with a whirlwind of her emotion the magic had found itself rolling out of her fingertips along with it, shooting out and creating a protective wall of jagged ice directed at those who had surrounded her in their curiosity over what had transpired between the two royal sisters.

Everyone had gasped as they stepped back and away to avoid the sharp edges of the ice that had created a clear diversion between them and the Queen, the shock and fearful looks that they had shot at her direction had only made her feel even smaller than she once had, frightened as her heart raced against her chest, against her bare hand that she had pulled close against it as her attempt to hold herself together and to not have her unleash more damage than she had done.

“Sorcery!” In the midst of her own racing mind she recognized the voice of Duke of Weselton, high and accusing as he hid behind his two men with a finger pointed at her. “I knew there was something dubious going on here.”

Her hand trembled against her own hold as her eyes scanned through the crowd, only to see exactly what her nightmare had always been. Of the same terror in their eyes, judging and towering over her, and now their look of fright was made clear of what had caused it, and they all stood against her, she was, as she always had been, alone.

Suddenly she was back as being the young girl that stood in the bedchamber that she shared with her little sister, frightened as her shrill voice called for the help of their parents, shaking as she tried to make her sister opened her eyes. She was all alone as both her parents had checked on Anna, standing by the side of her own bed as they discussed of what to do, fearful to even approach them because she could not risk harming anyone else.

Elsa, what have you done?

Elsa, this is getting out of hand.

Anna can’t be with you anymore, you’re too dangerous, Elsa.

Elsa.

Elsa.

This is all your fault.

“Elsa,” Her head jerked up when she had heard a different voice, not of her parents or of those in her mind, gentle as they called for her name instead of the accusing voices she often heard, and her blue eyes searched for its source for she recognized that voice, the gentle manner of it, until they landed on the face of her husband. “It’s alright, everything will be alright.”

His hand was offered out to her, with the palm up in means of no harm, welcoming as he prompted her to come and take it, green eyes kind unlike the others, understanding because he knew how afraid she was, he could see past the fear that hung thickly in the air, and for a moment she was tempted to let go of the doorknob that she grasped tightly with her gloved hand, to stay and not to fall into the temptation of opening the door and just flee.

“Prince Hans, have you lost your mind?!” The Duke’s voice had once again echoed in the ballroom hall, loud against the silent murmur between the guests, and her fingers only curled around the brass tighter as she pressed her back flushed against the door. “She’s a monster!”

“No!” The protest had not come from Hans, as she had expected it to, with his masculine voice as he interjected with the man who stood no taller than even she, but it was a feminine voice that she was so familiar with, the one she had grown up with, one who would spoke right outside her door, asking her to come out and build a snowman with her. “My sister is not a monster.”

Anna was the last person that she had expected to stand up for her, she was the one who she had quarreled with just moments ago, to go against the claim that she herself had feared had been the truth all of this time, to even take a step forward so that she was the closest to the ice than anyone else.

“You are defending her because she’s your sister, you know of what she is capable of!”

She could see the Princess’ jaw tightened as she sent a glare toward the Duke of Weselton, eyes narrowing at every word that he had thrown at the Queen’s way to only corner her further. “I know as much as the rest of you do, Elsa had never told me any of this.” Turquoise eyes had flickered up to see her, just a moment, before they were turned back toward the others in the room. “I don’t know why, but I know she has every reason to. We can’t let the Duke’s words cloud our judgment before we can even let her explain herself.”

There was something in their eyes, a slight shift that did not exist in any of her nightmares of what would come should her power was exposed to the world, some sort of a curiosity, one that made her realized that they were waiting for her, for the explanation that her sister had promised them.  The pounding of her heart quickened at the thought, the increase of her fear had only turned her hands colder, and yet when she had turned to look at her husband, to see the reassuring look on his face, and to see her sister doing the similar thing as she nodded in encouragement, she knew she had to do it.

“I was born with this power, I don’t know why nor do I know how, but I do and I could not change that.” No one could, not that she was aware of, and not that she wished to rid of it now anyway, for ever since she had taken that trip with Hans, had seen of what she was capable of beyond the destruction that she believed of all she could do, there was a desire that stirred within her to begin and accept of who she is as a person. “But I promise you that I never intend on hurting anyone with it.” She had her flaws with herself and her magic, but she was trying to change, to be better, no matter how hard it would be.

“Then what would you call this, then?” The Duke’s hand waved at the jagged ice that had not even been bothered by the warm ballroom, not even a drop of water had fell onto the wooden flooring; the magic laced within it had kept it from being melted so easily. “Your lies of what you intend to do and not do is clear to anyone’s eyes.”

“She was scared,” Anna had spoken up even before she could even open her mouth, voice firm and not a single doubt in it. “She tried to tell me but I wouldn’t listen, I kept pushing her even when I shouldn’t.”

“Besides,” now the attention had shifted from the Princess to Hans as he prepared to voice his own opinion on her, eyes following his movement as he approached her with ease, passed the ice that stood menacingly until he stood right by her side, prying her gloved fingers off the doorknob she did not know she was still holding onto until he could hold her hand properly in his. “I know you’re all a little shaken, but do not be frightened, for beyond these ice,” his free hand had waved at what stood between them and the other guests as he spoke. “Queen Elsa can do so much more; there is beauty in what she can do, I myself have witnessed that.”

This time, it was Anna who had approached then, to walk past the ice that had frightened not only those who were new to the sight of it but also Elsa herself. “Elsa is a good person; a good Queen that would do anything for her people, her magic does not change that.” The strawberry blonde-haired Princess had now stood in front of her, with her back turned toward her as she faced the crowd, a clear display that she trusted her sister. “Have you all forgotten of everything that she had done, what she had worked on for the better of Arendelle, just because she revealed that she had magic?”

There were murmurs amongst the people before her, and although she could not clearly made out the exact words that they had spoken, she could tell from the head nodding and the warmth that had returned to their eyes when they looked at her, that they agreed to what Anna had said.

And she wanted to cry.

Not out of fear nor sadness that she often found herself tangled with, but out of the overwhelming emotions that had started to flood her as she looked at the two people she loved most in the world, standing by her side to speak of words that somehow, though slowly, had made her feel so accepted after all these years of feeling alone and isolated. To see her sister that had deserved more than she received from her, speaking up in a way she didn’t think the younger was capable of; to see her husband holding her hand, to assure her that he was not going to leave her despite how people had all moved away from her earlier.

She felt… loved.

An act of true love will thaw a frozen heart.

Where had she heard that sentence before? It felt so real, like a memory that had long forgotten and had suddenly came back up into her mind. She remembered of when she had seen the thin layer of frost that covered the ceiling when she and Hans had finally consummate their marriage, she remembered of the time she had let her power go and create such beautiful creation when she knew that she would not harm anyone.

Love will thaw.

“Love.” Had the answer been always so simple, so easy to overlook, lingering at the distance that allowed her to touch if only she had tried to reach just a little further? Hans had turned his head at her direction when he had heard her murmur, to make a sound after being so silent, and she had looked up at him in return, and wished that she could just reach up and kiss him at that moment, because of course it had to be that. “The answer is love.”

Her explanation to him would have to be wordless, as she turned her attention back at the icicles that now had beginning to drip right at the end of it along with her realization, following along with what she felt inside because it was a part of her anyway.

Raising her hand in the motion of her reaching toward the ice, she let her eyes fluttered close as she concentrate, of how Hans’ skin felt and how warm it was against her, of the way he held her and the taste of his lips, of Anna’s smile and her laugh, of the way she showed her care and love for others no matter who it was, and when she opened her eyes she could feel the ice retreating, she could see how it started to melt along with the rise of the temperature of the room as it started to turn back normal, until it had completely disappeared without a trace, not even leaving a single puddle of water on the floor.

“She has done it again, that witch-”

“That’s enough.” The depth of Hans’ voice had changed, and it surprised the Duke enough that his voice had stopped mid-sentence, the gleam in his green eyes was something that she had never seen before, dangerous and cold. “Guards, escort the Duke of Weselton out of this ballroom, he has caused enough trouble.”

She didn’t really pay much of an attention at the man as the guards brought him out along with his two men, for Anna had turned her whole body toward her with such a bright smile as she place a hand over the older sister’s shoulder. “I knew you can do it.”

Chapter Text

“How did you know?”

In the past, it had been nothing but a mere dream for her, one silly wish that she had sometimes come up with whenever she looked through the high windows of the castle or hearing the sounds beyond the walls and the closed doors she had hid herself behind for so many years; to feel so welcomed and accepted no matter what she was capable of, no matter what kind of magic she possessed, dreams that she had told herself to bury deep within her, for there was no way it could become a possibility for her future.

And yet now that she had faced the world, no matter how the situation had not been in her favor earlier on, to let them actually see her instead of only being left to wonder of the mysterious young Queen of Arendelle, it was not as scary as she had once thought, not when she realized that she was not alone in the world, that she has those who given her such unconditional love and stood by her side despite her own selfish self in the past, despite how she had pushed them all away from her, those who truly cared would only push back, to break the walls she had built high surrounding her to protect her own vulnerable self.

To reveal her power to her people, out in the courtyard where those who could not come inside gather, was far easier if compared to how it had happened inside the ballroom, mainly due to the fact that their first-impression of it had not been jagged ice that came straight up from the ground. Their reaction of surprise was expected, yet it was far easier for her, with the help of Hans and Anna, to explain and convince them of the same thing that she had did to the royal guests; that she would never mean for harm to come to anyone’s way with her power.

With everything falling into a peaceful place, with her turning the water of the two fountains in the courtyard into beautiful curved ice sculpture and layering the stone floor with a thick layer of ice to skate on, it was the first time that she ever retired back into the bedchamber in such a great mood despite being so exhausted.

The question uttered by her husband as they lay in bed, clad in their own sleeping attire; had been the ice breaker in the comfortable silence that had befallen them. “Know what?”

“That love is the answer.”

It had taken her a little while to come up with an answer, one that did not sound as silly as a mere ‘hunch’, one that she could explain without giving her husband confusion instead of an understanding, and while she thought about it her finger traced over his bare chest, still gloved for she still was not comfortable enough to push her boundaries further even when her fingers did not even feel cold as they usually do. “I would think that you were the reason behind it, in a way.” She began as her head tilted up to see his face. “The memories with you, of when for the first time in what seemed to be forever I truly felt loved… I realized that I have the feel of control over my magic. The first time that we got intimate, I created a layer a frost on the ceiling, but I didn’t fear it.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that was the cause.” Hans’ amused laugh had prompted her to roll her eyes, for despite the fact that he was the Admiral Westergaard that many looked up to, the way he spoke before her could be so ridiculous at times that he was lucky to have the Queen as his wife. “But in all seriousness, my darling,” by the time his laughter had died down, his voice had turned into the gentle manner that always managed to make her heart flutter. “I am truly glad that now you don’t need to hide anymore. To see you smile and to be happy around your people, to see how you hold Anna’s hands to keep her from slipping down… I would like to witness things like that more often, if I may.”

Another silence passed between them, calm and peaceful, and she spent it to marvel at how the warmth of his arm wrapped around her felt against her skin, that despite the difference in their body temperature they no longer found it to be such an extreme contrast, rather they completed each other and help each other reach the temperature both much preferred.

“Are you disappointed though, Hans?” She could not help the thought when she recalled of what had happened in the evening, the event that led into the changes in her life, of the words that Anna had spoken. When the auburn haired man had raised one of his eyebrows in question, she had only sighed. “That I’m not… with child.” She wanted to scowl at the thought, for now she did have a little idea of how he desired to have a child with her, and he had perhaps hoped the assumption to be right.

“A little, yes.” His honesty surprised her, he had never had the intention to hold back anything against her nor did he hide any secret, and her eyes had widened at his confession. “But,” his arm wrapped tighter around her figure, slender and slim against his muscled torso, and the smile on his face gave a little reassurance for her. “We are both young, there are many things that are waiting ahead of us, Elsa, and I believe children would be one of them. Yet, if you’re impatient then I’m sure we can arrange that future to come a little faster.”

The way he moved her body to lay on top of him as he spoke prompted a laugh from her, genuine and amused while she tried to keep it down, until she sat right against his hips, hands pressed firmly against his chest. “Well, Admiral, aren’t you such a charmer.”

“I have the Queen of Arendelle as my wife; I would say my charms are quite potent indeed.”