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Callen knew it was his fault, there was no denying it. He was in Agent in Charge, he should have been the one to take the fall. Even outside of his professional responsibility, he was her husband and he had a duty to protect her, and he failed.
If it had been anyone else, he would not have felt such a burdern, but it wasn't just anyone. It was her. She had been taken from him and he didn't know when he would get her back.
Hetty had reassured him that undercover ops, like the one she had been assigned too, tend to have back up plans in place to counteract any failings on the teams part. He knew this. He also knew that if an undercover agent gets taken hostage during a mission, they most likely will not return home.
Callen couldn't help but think that her situation was his fault. He had always believed that everything he loves would be taken away from him. And now, watching her being taken away from his grasp, it only cemented his beliefs.
Maybe it was a punishment from some higher power. He had committed many atrocities in the name of the law, maybe this was the universe getting the balance is so often required. Or maybe it was just a cruel trick, someone wanted Callen to suffer, and so he did.
If there was anything that he could do to help them, he would in a heartbeat. But as he sat alone at his desk, the rest of team long since gone home for the night, he knew that her being taken away was not the punishment. His punishment was that he was powerless to help her.
Before, when she had been in danger, Callen had always been there. He had always had the power to save her before, he took control of the situation and he ensured that they would both survive. He had no control now; he had to have patience.
He knew that he would find his love eventually, he would not rest until he did. He just hoped that he would find them alive.
