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Dread had been rising inside Mitsuzane since he had gotten the news. He didn't know what had happened. All he knew was he was staring at a test with a big fat zero as the score. It took a lot of effort to not show any reaction to the news.
The worst part of it all was knowing that Takatora was probably aware. His older brother kept a close eye on his grades, not hesitating to mention when they were getting too low for his liking. This was definitely something he would notice immediately.
Mitsuzane hoped that maybe, just maybe, the scores weren't in the system yet. That he had at least today to prepare for whatever Takatora would say to him. This wasn't something that was going to slide. It was too bad of a score to ignore.
Takatora was relatively good with what he deemed too low of a score on tests. Mitsuzane had enough room to get by most times. So, for this to happen, who knew what Takatora was thinking.
Mitsuzane wished he knew why this had happened. Wished he had a valid reason for this disaster of a score. Anything to prove it wasn't his fault somehow.
He had shut down for the rest of the day, not being interested in talking to anyone. Not that he had any friends in this place. Everyone hated him because of his family name.
When it came time to go home, Mitsuzane felt sick. As he opened the door to the house, he felt like he might pass out right then and there. His heart was pounding so loud.
He prayed Takatora wasn't home and made a quick walk toward his room. If he could get there, all would be okay for a bit longer. He could be in his safe space.
"Mitsuzane."
Unfortunately, Takatora was home and was definitely waiting for him. Mitsuzane gulped and nervously greeted him.
"Come sit. We have something to talk about."
Mitsuzane nodded and walked over to a seat. His body was trembling as he lowered himself into it. Takatora's piercing gaze wasn't making this feel any better.
"You failed a test." Takatora got right to the point. At least he wasn't trying to dodge around it. Mitsuzane felt that would be worse.
"I... I'm sorry... I don't know what happened..." Mitsuzane mumbled. "I can retake it..."
"You shouldn't need to retake a test. This is not fitting for you."
"I..."
"You're grounded."
Mitsuzane blinked at him. "Eh?"
"You heard me." Takatora repeated, his gaze awfully cold. "You are grounded until further notice. You are to come right home after school. No running around wherever it is you go. Do you understand me?"
Mitsuzane nodded. There was no point in protesting. Takatora wouldn't listen to him.
"Now, go to your room. You have things to be doing."
"Yes, nii-san..." Mitsuzane mumbled.
He numbly walked to his room. The moment the door was closed, he broke down into tears. This wasn't fair! Why couldn't he have fun?! He hated his brother right now. He had no right to ground him over one stupid test!
Mitsuzane threw himself onto his bed and cried. Screw studying. He didn't care.
...
Mitsuzane was cold to Takatora the next morning. Takatora didn't seem pleased with his attitude at all. At least he left before saying anything about it.
Now, he had to go to school. It was annoying. Mitsuzane couldn't focus. All he could think about was what if his grades got worse? What if he failed another test while he was grounded for this one? Would Takatora do even worse of a punishment? What else could he even do?
Mitsuzane took the redo test. He prayed the results would be better. He had tried to study a little bit for it. It was hard to focus when he was so mad at Takatora.
And then it came time to leave. Mitsuzane lingered at the edge of the school grounds. Takatora was at work. How would he know if Mitsuzane didn't go home right away?
Mitsuzane went off to go walk around the town. He wasn't going home yet. Takatora had no right to ground him like this. He deserved free time.
He wandered around for a while, watching everything. He felt jealous seeing others being so happy to be out. Why was he supposed to not have any sort of free time? It was bad enough he already wasn't going to dance practice right now. He couldn't lose the little freedom he did have.
Then, a text came through on his phone. A message from Takatora.
Get home now. You are in so much trouble.
Mitsuzane gulped. Takatora knew he wasn't doing as told. Knew he wasn't at home. He was so dead.
He walked home in annoyance. He was terrified of what was going to happen, but also really pissed off.
"Where have you been? I thought I told you to come home right after school." Takatora was waiting for him right at the door.
"None of your fucking business." Mitsuzane shot back.
He realized his mistake almost immediately.
"Don't you ever use that language on me like that."
Mitsuzane gulped. He was making this worse. He needed to watch his mouth. Whether he was pissed or not, he had to be civil or else all hope of any good outcome was lost.
Takatora was staring him down. "Now, answer my question. Where were you?"
"Walking around."
"Why?"
"Because it's not fair!"
"You're right. It's not fair. And whose fault is that?"
"Why can't I get to go out?" Mitsuzane demanded.
"You need to focus on your studies!" Takatora raised his voice. "You'll be a disgrace to this family if you fail school."
"It was one test."
"And the rest of them aren't good either."
"So what? Am I not allowed to fuck up sometimes? Do I have to be fucking perfect for you to care about me?" Mitsuzane lost his temper. He knew he was going to regret this later, but he couldn't sit there and take this.
"I'm not asking you to be perfect. I'm asking for a decent effort here."
"Well it doesn't feel like that!"
"Go to your room." Takatora pointed in that direction to emphasize the point.
"You aren't the boss of me!"
"I am your legal guardian. I am the boss of you. Now go to your room and don't you dare come out until I say so."
"Make me."
Takatora grabbed him by the arm and drug him up to his room. Mitsuzane struggled against his grip, but to no avail. He had really made Takatora mad now.
He was thrown into his room. Mitsuzane turned around and stared at Takatora. He had actually just done that.
"Now stay in here." Takatora shut the door.
"I hate you!" Mitsuzane screamed.
He started throwing things around. It was the only way he was regulating his emotions right now.
Eventually, he calmed down enough. He sat on his bed and stared at the mess he had made. He was a disaster. All of this over one stupid test score.
Mitsuzane knew he was to stay in his room, but he didn't want to. He opened the door and stared out into the hallway. Takatora was nowhere in sight.
He left his room and went downstairs. Takatora just had come back inside as he reached the bottom of the steps. The two stared at each other for a long moment.
"Mitsuzane."
"I..." Mitsuzane figured it was better to not say a word. He simply lowered his head in defeat.
"You also failed your makeup test. I just got a call about it." Takatora said.
Mitsuzane braced for a worse scolding.
"Your teacher asked if everything was okay at home. Said that you've been acting more distant than usual in class." Takatora continued, "So... what's going on?"
"Eh?"
"What's going on in your life that's causing this much of an issue in school?"
Of course he wasn't actually concerned. Mitsuzane didn't know why he had hoped that question was genuine. It only mattered in terms of school. Of course it did.
"Why do you care?" Mitsuzane grumbled. "You barely look at me anymore!"
"You are almost an adult. I shouldn't need to baby you."
"You want to know what the problem is? Fine. It's you! You're the problem! Can't you see that?!" Mitsuzane yelled.
"How am I the problem?" Takatora didn't like the accusation.
"Because you don't care about me! All you give a shit about is making sure I'm not a disgrace to this family. You don't actually care about me! If you did you would realize how much I'm struggling!"
"I do care about you. Which is why I'm putting my foot down over this. I've let you off with just warnings about your behavior for long enough, hoping you would change things on your own."
"That's the problem! You just yell at me and never offer to help fix things!" Mitsuzane shot back. "You don't even know me anymore!"
"Of course I do."
"Oh really? You don't know anything. You have no idea what I've been doing. You don't even know my friends or what I do after school because you don't care!"
"You never talk about that. How is that my fault?"
"Because you make me feel like I can't tell you anything! You turn everything into a lecture!" Mitsuzane took a few deep breaths. "You never even knew that I've tried to kill myself multiple times."
There was a long silence that followed those words. Takatora stared at him. He didn't seem to know what to say next. Mitsuzane was glad to have finally got him to shut up. It's what he deserved for everything he had neglected with him.
Tears were streaming down Mitsuzane's face. He finally gave Takatora a piece of his mind. But it hurt. Hearing how uncaring he still was about everything.
"I'm sorry..."
Mitsuzane recoiled in shock. Had... Takatora just apologized? He looked up at his older brother in confusion.
"I'm sorry I never realized you were struggling so much." Takatora continued, "I... thought if I was able to handle it then you could as well. But, you aren't me. I forgot that part."
"Nii-san...?"
Takatora walked over to him and got level with him. "I wasn't much different when I was your age. Mom and dad were always breathing down my back about school too. I just was able to handle the stress better it seems."
"You didn't have Helheim in your life back then." Mitsuzane grumbled.
"I see... you do have a lot more to handle than I did. I apologize. It was wrong of me to think you could handle the same upbringing I had." Takatora paused, looking like he was thinking about something. "And... maybe this way of raising a kid is... wrong."
"You only just realized that?"
"I never had outside people to show me otherwise. All I had was the way our family worked so I assumed that was how everyone did it. But... now that I've met people of all types, it just clicked our family's methods may be borderline abuse." Takatora placed a hand on Mitsuzane's shoulder. "I'm sorry it took this to make me realize that."
The tears fell harder and he hugged Takatora tightly. Hearing Takatora acknowledge his wrongs was really getting to him. Mitsuzane hadn't ever expected his older brother to admit his methods were wrong.
"Nii-san..."
"Can we start over and try this again?"
Mitsuzane nodded.
"What can I do to help you then?" Takatora asked.
"Can I drop out...? At least of this school?" Mitsuzane asked nervously. "I... don't feel safe there."
"You don't?"
"Everyone hates me because of our family name... haven't you gotten any calls about bullying incidents?"
"No?"
"Eh? But..." Mitsuzane trailed off and sighed. "Of course. They're too important to the school to get them in trouble..."
"That's how it is...?" Takatora tightened his own grip on the younger boy. "Then, I will start the process of pulling you out of that school."
"Thank you."
"I'll let you look into where you want to transfer instead."
Mitsuzane nodded. This was a better outcome than he had expected. Takatora was finally listening to him.
"Also, Mitsuzane... don't start a fight, but you have my full permission to end one."
"Eh?!"
"I don't know the details of this bullying, and I won't pry if you aren't ready to share, but if they get physical, don't let them push you around. It will probably end in you getting expelled, but that's fine. I won't be mad."
"Thank you, nii-san..."
The two separated from the hug. Mitsuzane tried his best to wipe away the tears.
"About... what you said..." Takatora hesitated.
Even if he didn't finish, Mitsuzane knew exactly what he was asking about.
"I felt so alone... thought it was better if I just died. Since no one would help me." Mitsuzane mumbled. "I... always got too scared to finish it..."
"I'm glad you're still here. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."
"Nii-san..." As hard as he tried, the tears came back.
"I'm sorry I've been such a horrible brother to you."
"It's not... entirely your fault."
"Still, I'm very sorry. I'll do my best to make it up to you."
"So... am I still grounded?" Mitsuzane questioned. He hoped the answer was no.
Takatora pondered. Mitsuzane started to worry that he was still going to be grounded.
"Apologize for your attitude and we'll call it even." Takatora said.
"Sorry..." Mitsuzane mumbled.
"I never took you as one to curse but... guess I was wrong."
Mitsuzane looked away in embarrassment. "I... I only curse when I'm stressed out like that... I don't do it on a daily basis. I promise."
Takatora laughed a bit at his response. "I don't care if you do, Mitsuzane. Just took me by surprise."
"Sorry."
"You don't need to apologize anymore. It's all in the past now. Let's start over."