Chapter Text
“You’re obviously not attracted to me, so there didn’t seem to be any point in bringing it up,” Spencer said as if it were common sense. He steepled his fingers and looked over the case file sprawled across his desk one more time before gathering up the pages and placing the file on his stack of completes. It took him a moment to realize that Derek hadn’t responded. He looked up to see the older man looking down at him with confusion wrinkling his dark face. Spencer blinked and cocked his head to the side, relaying the last bit of their conversation in his mind to see where he’d lost Derek. Luckily, Derek began filling in the gaps.
The older agent crossed his arms over his muscled chest and leaned back, settling into the corner of Spencer’s desk. “What makes you so sure I’m not attracted to you?” he said with nothing more than curiosity detectable in his voice.
“Well,” said Spencer with a slight laugh, “we’ve been working together for years. I’ve seen you flirting with half the women in the station, as well as some of the men. I’ve seen you pick up people at bars after hours, noticed you checking out others that you found attractive. But in all this time, you’ve never made a pass at me.” He held Derek’s gaze the entire time he talked, comfortable in his conclusion.
Now it was Derek’s turn to cock his head to the side in confusion as he gazed down at the pale man seated before him. Have I really been that good at hiding it from him? he wondered, feeling a touch of shame when he noticed the hint of sadness behind Spencer’s confident expression. Keeping his attraction to Spencer a secret had seemed like such a good idea when Derek first noticed it, but now that he knew there was a chance Spencer reciprocated his feelings…?
Spencer was dismayed by his co-workers extended silence. “Look,” he rushed on, fidgeting uncomfortably in his seat, “it’s not like I was expecting you to - I mean - it’s just that -” He floundered for the right words, looking around the near empty bull-pen for assistance and finding nothing. He sighed and tried again. “I would never have expected someone like you to be attracted to me,” he said slowly, keeping his eyes down, “so it wasn’t a big deal. I mean, it’s not a big deal. Honest.” He chanced a glance up at Derek and was only further confused by the strained look crossing his face.
Derek shifted on the edge of Spencer’s desk, inching closer to the younger man.
“No, no,” he whispered, more to himself than Spencer, “you’ve got it all wrong, pretty boy.”
“No time for chit chat, my beauties!” came Garcia’s sing-song voice as she bustled past Spencer’s desk, heading towards the conference room. “We’ve got a live one!” Her steps faltered and she turned back. “I mean, a dead one - a couple of dead ones, actually.” She waved her hands to brush away the confusion in the air. “You know what I mean. Hop to it!”
The team began converging on the conference room from their various positions throughout the bull-pen. Spencer stood up from his desk to follow, but Derek put a gentle hand against his shoulder. When Spencer dared to meet his eyes, the older man said, “There’s something I should have told you - probably a long time ago.”
Spencer was surprised to see so much sadness in those dark-roast coffee colored eyes. He quickly shook himself out of the stupor his mind was attempting to fall into, forcing himself to focus on the case at hand.
“Well,” he said, more breathlessly than he realized, “if you’ve waited so long to tell me, I suppose it can wait until after this case.”