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Zoro woke up in the crow’s nest hearing laughter. He yawned while rubbing his good eye and stretched a bit. He was at his second afternoon nap he needed to take to be fully prepared for his night watch.
The night watch was always a little stressful. You’re alone in the middle of the sea, you can’t see anything except the darkness. You can’t fall asleep because your nakamas are counting on you to protect them while they rest. You have to watch and hear everything, every movement of water or wind can announce trouble. From sea king to pirate or marine ship.
Zoro could nap all day but would never during the night watch. It was his duty to protect his nakamas. He couldn’t fail his duty again.
Zoro was still having nightmares of Sabaody.
Luffy had told him multiple times after they reunited that it wasn’t Zoro’s fault. They hadn’t been strong enough. All of them, including Luffy himself. They weren’t ready at the time, for anything. They were kids with big dreams and they needed to be stronger. All of them.
But if Zoro had been stronger, the crew would have been by Luffy’s side when Marineford happened. Luffy, who had saved them countless times, saved them from their misery, their loneliness, and their pain wouldn’t have been alone when he buried and grieved Ace, his older brother. Zoro couldn’t imagine Luffy’s pain at the time. No one could. He wanted to cry every time he thought about their sunshine captain sobbing alone away from anyone he knew or loved.
Zoro looked out the window and saw his nakamas laughing and joking together. He thought back at what the marine said a week ago.
The log pose had made them arrive on a spring-inhabited island. Well, it had been habited but Robin said it was eighty years ago, and besides skeletons and empty stone houses the Straw Hat hadn’t found anything. Sanji had been disappointed because the shitty cook wasn't able to buy food. So Luffy was sad because he couldn’t buy meat but lightened up as soon as he saw animals. Sanji promised he would cook if they caught some.
They were separated into three groups. Usopp, Chopper, and Jinbe stayed at the Sunny, Nami, Sanji, and Franky went on the left side of the island, and Zoro, Luffy, Brook, and Robin on the right side.
An hour later during their exploration, they heard cannons and saw three marines' ships coming closer. The crew went back to the ship to defend it but Zoro got separated and no it wasn’t his fault. Robin and the other simply took another direction than his.
Zoro found himself surrounded by dozens of marines but easily defeated them. The swordsman was looking around trying to find the right way. He was sure of the path on his left but unfortunately for him, thirty minutes later, he found the defeated marines again. That damn forest must be magical and the trees were moving to get him lost.
Zoro sighed “Where the fuck are they?”
“Maybe they just left you.”
Zoro looks behind him. One of the marines, still alive by some miracle, coughed blood, his body covered in stone since Zoro had thrown him into a wall of an inhabited house. Only his face, shoulders, and right arm were uncovered.
Zoro frowned “What did you say?”
The marine coughed again “I bet the Straw Hat left you. Why wouldn’t they?”
“Nah. They probably just lost their way to the Sunny. Happen all the time.”
The marine laughed.
Zoro raised an eyebrow “Are you laughing at me?”
“You truly think that. Damn, so you really are an idiot.”
Zoro pulled out Wado and walked toward the marine.
The marine smiled showing his teeth, some of them were covered in blood “You know, you have a nickname at the base.”
“Oh really.”
The marine nodded “The animal.”
Zoro smirked, “I like that.”
“Some of the marines don’t understand why Straw Hat keeps you. I mean, pirates are fuck up I understand but” The marine breathing was hatching. Maybe because he had a ton of stone on him that pressed him against the ground “Those guys are kind in their own way. We heard rumors that your captain would free people ‘cause he got free food. You otherwise, you’re just a cold-ass murderer. We watched you, you know before attacking. You know what we saw?”
“I thought the Marines were busy guys.”
The marine laughed. “We saw you alone in your crow’s nest. My buddy that you killed told me ‘ damn, he’s really just their animal that they lock up in a cage and pull him out when they need to .’ and you know what Roronoa, he’s fucking right. You’re a monster. You're an unlovable cold murderer. They only kept you for your muscles and nothing else. The truth is, your own nakamas don't love you, they don’t stand you. If one day, something happens to you, they won’t care. They won’t look or fight for you. I bet they would even be glad you fucking died. They could find someone better than you, more lovable. They could–”
Zoro cut the marine's throat and walked away hearing him suffocated in his own blood. He pulls Wado back in his sheath.
The swordsman sighed and put his fists on his hips “So. Where the fuck are they?”
Then something exploded close to the beach.
“Probably Luffy.”
He walked toward the explosion and an hour and a couple of detours later, he finally managed to find the crew. Luffy had been surprised to see him coming out of the woods.
Luffy put his hat back on his hair “Oh Zoro you were still in the forest?”
Robin nodded “I didn’t know you were still in it.”
Sanji rolled his eyes “I can’t believe we were this close to finally leaving without shitty swordsman.”
Zoro frowned “Fuck you curly.”
“What did you say to me?”
“I said fuck you what are you fucking deaf now?”
Jinbe looked at Nami “They’re always like that?”
“Unfortunately. You will learn to never let Zoro out of your sight. Never. Otherwise, we’re gonna spend the next three hours looking after him. It's such a headache.”
Sanji took a cigarette to his mouth “See stupid Marimo! You should apologize to Nami-san for being such a pain in the ass!”
“I will never apologize to that fucking witch.”
“What did you say to her stupid mosshead!”
Sanji and him continued fighting with Luffy laughing next to them. At some point, the cook got tired and left for the kitchen. Zoro looked at the crew. Chopper was healing Robin and Usopp from minor injuries. Brook and Luffy were talking about their future dinner, Nami was looking at the log pose and the sea, and Franky and Jinbe were talking about the future repair of the Sunny.
None of them had realized Zoro had been on his own. The swordsman told himself it was normal. His nakamas were fighting for their lives. It’s normal for them not to realize immediately that Zoro had been fighting alone and the opposite of the island. They would have looked after him in the end right?
Right?
Zoro tried to forget the marine’s words and did a pretty good job. Until now. Until a week later, the words were still fresh in his mind. He was used to the marine or pirate trash talk so why did the words keep looping in his head?
Seeing his nakamas happy without him wasn’t helping either. Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp were playing tag. Nami and Robin were gossiping while lying on the deckchairs. Curly was going out from the galley holding snacks and drinks for everyone. Zoro counted and only saw nine drinks. It’s fine. Zoro never liked sweet drinks. Brook was playing violin and Franky was talking with Jinbei.
They were all happy. All smiling. Together.
Zoro looked away and looked around him in the crow’s nest. The room was pretty much empty but all the furniture inside of it was his. There were his weights next to the towels. The cleaning materials of his swords. Training mattress.
Zoro loved the crow’s nest. It’s his room like the library was Robin’s room or the kitchen’s the cook’s room or the infirmary Chopper’s room. He could train, meditate, and watch for his nakamas’s safety in peace without being bothered. Either from marines or pirates or because one of the three stupid devil fruit users fell in the water. Only Robin was smart enough to stay away from the water but again Robin was the smartest person of the crew. Zoro’s first gray hair will be because of Luffy, Chopper, or Brook falling into the sea. Zoro was always the first one to jump to pick them up but now Jinbe was with them, it would be easier to bring them home.
Zoro looked back at his nakamas and thought of the marine’s words. He knew he wasn’t loved and that was fine. Zoro didn’t want to be loved. He wanted his nakamas to respect Luffy, his dream, and work all together to crown Luffy Pirate King.
He wasn’t a monster, he wanted his nakamas to accomplish their own dream too.
He wanted to see Nami’s world map, to be there when Usopp surpassed his insecurity and accepted he was a brave warrior of the sea and one of the best snipers in the world. Zoro wanted to eat fish from the All Blue that Sanji would have cooked, congrats Chopper to cure all the diseases. Hearing about the True History from Robin, navigate with Franky and the Sunny to the end of the world, see Laboon with Brook, and be by Jinbei's side once the fisherman and the human have equal rights.
But the others probably didn’t care about his dream. Why would they? His dream wasn’t important to them.
Zoro knew he was only tolerated and just for his fighting skills. Besides fighting, Zoro wasn’t good at anything else. He didn’t know how to fish, fix things and people, talk and gain information, cook, or navigate. He was just muscle and no brain like Curly liked to say. Zoro always thought it was sarcasm but maybe the shitty cook was just speaking his truth. After all, why did Luffy pick up Zoro? Because he needed a fighter and every crew started with someone no matter how shitty they were.
Luffy was probably regretting taking Zoro in now. After their two years of training, everyone was a capable fighter. He wasn’t needed anymore. If Zoro walked away, they wouldn’t even notice or care.
Or they would celebrate it like the marine said.
Zoro looked at Luffy. His captain was smiling and laughing. Zoro loved him so much that sometimes it hurt. Luffy deserves to sail with the best, with people more lovable and useful. With someone who wasn’t Zoro. Luffy needed, deserved a better first mate than him, an animal. Someone the crew could love. Someone more useful. Someone capable of protecting them against all the new threats they could face.
Luffy laughed, probably because of one of Usopp’s jokes. Zoro felt a smile growing on his face. He loved him so much. He knew Luffy would never return his feelings. Why would he? Zoro wasn’t the definition of a romantic partner. He didn’t know shit about romance.
Even if he did, Luffy deserved better. He deserves a better first mate, a better lover. Someone who wasn’t Zoro.
Zoro made his decision. He was going to leave the crew at their next stop and nothing could stop him. If he planned it well, they wouldn’t even notice he was gone.
He just hoped he could leave the island before he saw how much his nakamas would be happy without him.
———
Sanji yawned. It was late and right now he only wanted to crash in his bed and sleep for the next ten hours but first, he needed to finish washing the dinner dishes. He saw a glimpse of light in the crown’s nest which was weird because that idiot would train during the all fucking day but never at night, especially before a night watch.
It’s been two weeks since they saw land and tomorrow Sanji will need to count the amount of the food to start the ration. Nami-san said they would see land soon and since Nami-san is always right Sanji wasn’t worried much.
What was worrying Sanji was the Marimo. Well, Sanji wasn’t really worried about him but just a little bit. A tiny bit. Tiny tiny bit. The swordsman was a little more close up than normally. Now that Sanji was thinking about it, it had started a week ago. Sanji sighed. He was tired and sleepy. It was too late to worry about the moss of a brain anyway. He took his pink apron, ‘kiss the cook’ gift from Ivankov off and put it on a chair.
The cook rubbed his eyes, turned off the light, and got out of the galley. He went down the stairs and saw Brook on the swing. Franky had a wonderful idea when he built it. He waved at Brook “You good or you need coffee?”
The skeletons shook his head “No thank you Sanji, my eyes are wide open for the watch. Well, if I had eyes of course. Yohohoho.”
Sanji chuckled “Of course. Who is it after you?”
“It’s Zoro again. I’m a bit worried though.”
“Why?” Sanji lighted a cigarette. The wind was cold. Nami-san had said the next island would probably be a spring island again. Sanji hoped so. The stock of fruit was getting low.
“Zoro kept picking up the night watch shift. Sometimes he does the entire night. He’s on his fifth in a row. I’m worried he’s not sleeping enough.”
Sanji exhaled smoke. “Marimo is fine. He naps all day long, I’m sure he doesn’t care.” he yawned “I’m gonna go to sleep. Goodnight Brook. Call me if you need anything.”
“Of course, goodnight Sanji.”
Sanji finished his cigarette and entered the boys' bedroom. The room was getting a little tight now that eight men were sleeping in the same room. After Brook and Jinbe joined Franky had to add two more beds and more lockers. They would need to enlarge it soon. Sometimes when Sanji couldn’t sleep thanks to all the snoring he would go to the galley and sleep on the couch. Maybe the marimo was doing the same thing with the crow’s nest.
Sanji changed into his pajamas and started climbing in his bed when he heard a noise. At first, he thought it was his imagination but no, there was a muffled noise.
A muffled cry.
He looked up to the rest of the bunks. Luffy was happily snoring so he didn’t wake up from a nightmare about Marineford or Ace. Franky was snoring too so no nightmares about Tom or Iceburg. Usopp wasn’t snoring but was still sleeping just like Jinbe. Then Sanji noticed Chopper’s bed was empty which was weird. He looked at Zoro’s bed and found a small curled shaking form covered by a blanket.
Sanji whispered “Chopper?”
Chopper sniffled and stopped moving.
“Chopper is that you? You had a nightmare?” Sanji walked quickly to Zoro’s bed and sat on “What happened? Are you okay? I’m gonna touch the blanket okay?”
Sanji carefully took the blanket and uncovered Chopper’s head. His eyes were full of tears “I can’t find Zoro.”
Sanji looked around and Zoro was indeed nowhere to be found. “It’s gonna be fine Chop.”
“I can’t find him.” Chopper sobbed “Do you think it’s my fault?”
“What?”
“Maybe” Chopper tried to whip his tears “Maybe he’s tired of me and my nightmares. It’s been a week now that Zoro doesn’t sleep with us anymore and I thought that maybe he was tired of the snoring but” the young doctor let out a sob “I’m scared and I can’t find Zoro.”
Sanji ruffled the fur of Chopper’s head. “I’m sorry buddy.”
“I thought I could be fine with only Zoro’s pillow but it doesn’t have his smell anymore. Normally it smells like steel like his swords, you know?”
Sanji nodded “I know.”
“But now it-it doesn’t smell like anything anymore. Do you think Zoro is mad at me? Maybe Zoro doesn’t want me to come anymore.” Chopper bites his bottom lips “I’m a pirate, I should deal with my nightmares alone.”
“You’re not the only one who has nightmares. Even Luffy has nightmares and yet no one deals with them alone. Because we're not only pirates, we’re nakamas. And nakamas means we’re here for each other.” Sanji tried to smile to reassure their little doctor “I’m sure it’s because Marimo got lost and couldn’t figure out how to come here. You know what? I’m gonna look out for him so stay here okay?”
Chopper nodded. He sat on the bed with Zoro’s blanket around him. “You promise?”
“Of course, I promise. I’m sure I can find a dirty shirt because that idiot definitely doesn’t wash his clothes or himself enough so you can have his smell in the meantime okay?”
Chopper nodded.
Sanji went to the laundry room next to their room and picked up one of Zoro’s dirty shirts. He smelled it just to check if there was enough smell for Chopper.
“Fuck, it stinks. Perfect.”
He brought it to Chopper and the young doctor brought it to his nose. Sanji could see the tension leaving Chopper’s body.
He smiled, “Thank you Sanji.”
Sanji ruffled Chopper's fur “I’m gonna be back before you know it with him don’t worry.” and left the room. He lit a cigarette and started walking to the crow’s nest. Sanji exhaled smoke and went to see Brook. The skeleton was now sitting against the main mat “Do you mind if you do a double shift? Or I can take the next one.”
“No, why? Something is wrong with our swordsman?”
“No, but Chopper had a nightmare.”
“Ah, I see” Brook nodded “Zoro would indeed not be able to do his shift. Is the nightmare bad?”
“I don’t know” Sanji put back the cigarette at his lips before exhaling smoke again “I think he got more scared of not finding Zoro than his own nightmare.”
“I see.”
Sanji took a drag and exhaled some smoke. Once they arrive on the new island, Sanji will need to buy new packs. “Did you notice Zoro was not sleeping with us anymore?”
Brook nodded “I noticed he was sleeping more in the crow’s nest than normally. Do you think something happened?”
“No idea. Well, I have to hurry before Chopper starts worrying more.”
“Of course. Also, I can take a double shift, you can sleep Sanji.”
“You’re sure? It’s no trouble for me.”
Brook nodded again “I’m sure. The wind is cold right now, I wouldn’t want you to freeze to death. Which I can’t because I’m already dead. Yohohoho.”
Sanji smiled, “Thanks.” and started to climb the ladder. He opened the door and entered. At first, the cook thought Zoro would either train with his swords or with his weight since he saw light earlier but nope, their Marimo was napping on the ground with a small blanket not covering even half of his chest.
Of course, their idiot put his swords on the couch. Why would he think his swords needed more comfort than himself? Damn, shitty swordsman.
Sanji sighed. He kicked (gently he’s not a monster) into Zoro’s ribs. Since there was no reaction from Zoro, he kicked again.
“Kick me a third time and I’ll cut your legs off.”
Sanji snorted, “I would like to see you try.”
Zoro glared at him with his good eye. “It’s not my time yet so give me a break Curly.”
“Brook will do it the whole night.”
Zoro frowned, “No, Brook does the first part of the night and I do the second one.”
Sanji shook his head and exhaled some smoke. Zoro never bothered him when he was smoking in the crow’s nest. He tried to do it one time in the navigator room and the library but the two goddesses looked at him with bloodlust in their magnificent eyes.
“Chopper had a nightmare and maybe a panic attack because he couldn’t find you. I don’t know why but our little doctor feels safe around you, especially after a nightmare. So you’re gonna move your ass and go comfort Chopper.”
“You couldn’t do it yourself?”
Sanji frowned. He had just said the four magic words, Chopper had a nightmare so why Zoro wasn’t moving? Usually, Zoro would be down before he could finish his sentence. Fucking hell Zoro was there even before Chopper would wake up let alone start crying. Chopper would curl up against Zoro’s chest and sleep while he would gently rub the fur.
One day, a little after Chopper joined them, Sanji asked why and the little reindeer swore Zoro’s chest was the best pillow ever. Because of his muscles, his pecs were very comfy. Sanji had checked if the milk Chopper was drinking hadn’t turned bad because Zoro and comfy couldn’t be in the same sentence.
“No. Chopper needs you so move your ass mossbrain.”
Zoro repressed a sigh and stood up.
Sanji shivered. He looked around, all the windows were closed and yet it was freezing. He should ask Franky about it. “Also, since when do you prefer to sleep here? It’s cold as fuck you don’t even have a mattress or a decent blanket.”
Zoro smirked, “You’re worried about me shitty cook?”
Sanji frowned deeper “Never stupid swordsman you can die I don’t care but you’re making Chopper sad. So be useful for once.”
Zoro looked away, “Right.”
Sanji gently bites his cigarette. Why did he have a feeling he just said the exact wrong words at the wrong time? “Look-”
Zoro passed him and opened the crow's nest door “You’re coming or what?”
Sanji sighed, “Of course, I’m coming.”
They climbed off and they saluted Brook.
Zoro frowned “You’re sure you can do the double shift? Once Chopper is asleep I can put him back in bed and do mine.”
Brook nodded “Of course Zoro. You have dark circles under your eyes you need to rest. It’s okay for me because I can’t have them since I’m just bones. Yohohoho.”
Zoro nodded back “If you’re sure.”
Sanji looked at Zoro’s face. Brook was right, Zoro had dark circles under his eyes. Since they started sailing together, it’s the first time Zoro had that. Sanji realized that his whole body language screamed for rest. If the stupid Marimo had been sleeping on the floor in the crow nest for the past week, his body couldn't like it. Sanji needed to keep an eye on their idiot swordsman since apparently, he was stupid enough to not take care of himself.
Sanji would rather die than admit it but he still had nightmares about Thriller Bark. About carrying Zoro's unconscious broken body to Chopper. Feeling his pulse getting slower, seeing his lips turning blue, hearing his breathing stop. Sanji had smoked two entire packs during the surgery and got the metallic smell of blood in his nose for a week. He still remembers Chopper’s cries when after surgery he told them Zoro flated twice.
But like Zoro said, nothing happened.
They passed the door of the men’s bedroom and found Chopper still sitting on Zoro’s bed with the blanket around him holding the shirt. He smiled “Zoro! Sanji, you found Zoro!”
Sanji smiled, “I told you I would find this idiot.”
Zoro changed and lay down in the bed. Chopper put the blanket on themselves and lay down on Zoro’s chest.
“Idiot cook said you had a nightmare.”
Sanji lay down on his bed too and listened to their discussion. Maybe this idiot will tell Chopper why he wasn’t sleeping with them anymore.
“I did. I was scared when I woke up. And I couldn’t find you so I got even more scared.”
“I’m sorry Chopper.”
“It’s fine.”
Sanji closed his eyes. No one spoke for a while and the cook thought everyone fell asleep but Chopper spoke again.
“Zoro, why aren’t you sleeping with us anymore? Sanji says it’s because you got lost on the way.”
“Stupid cook. Don’t listen to him.”
“Is it because of me?”
Sanji swore that if Zoro said yes he was going to kick him. Hard.
“Is it because I'm bothering you with my nightmares?”
“Everyone has nightmares, Chop it’s fine. And you would never bother me. I prefer you to go to someone than being scared alone. Next time I’m not here, you can go to Luffy or Usopp or someone else. Even the girls. Everyone would be happy to comfort you. Also, I bet Luffy and Jinbe could be more comfortable than me. You should try. Did you dream about the doctor?”
“He says he wasn’t proud of me.”
“It’s fucking false. He’s proud of you. Doctorine too. I am. We all are proud of you. Now you need sleep, we wouldn’t want our awesome doctor to be tired tomorrow.”
“Shut up, you're not making me happy when you say that.”
Sanji smiled to himself hearing Chopper's joyful tone. Soon the cook started hearing Zoro’s snores and Chopper’s calm breathing. Sanji falls asleep thinking about his future menu for the next day and that hopefully Zoro would come back sleeping with them. He realized now that he had missed the idiot’s snoring.
———
Usopp was in his workshop when Brook knocked. The skeletons opened the door and passed his head.
“Usopp, lunch is ready.”
“Oh thank you, Brook.”
Usopp took off his goggles and gloves and put them on his desk. He will finish his new pop green later. After their last fight, his stock had gone low and the plants weren’t growing as fast as he wanted. This afternoon Usopp will need to water the plants and see with Franky if he could find more places to plant new ones.
He walked to the galley, stretching his arms. Making pop green was long and Usopp needed to be meticulous. He will need to ask Sanji for more water bottles otherwise he will forget to drink again and have a hell of a headache in the evening.
In the corner of his eye, he saw a glimpse of green in the crow’s nest. Weird. Maybe Zoro didn’t know yet they were eating, which was even more weird. There were a lot of unofficial rules in the Straw Hat crew and warning Zoro about meals ten or fifteen minutes before it was ready was one of them.
There were two reasons for that. One, because when Zoro was training he couldn’t stop in the middle of a series so the rest of the crew needed to know when he would be done so they could all eat together. And two, yes Zoro can get lost on the ship even when he swore he couldn’t.
It got to a point where two years ago, Franky made little signs for every door and direction sign too. They made a contest to designate who would write the names of the different rooms and Robin won close to Nami and Sanji. She wrote all the signs and the rest of the crew had a painting time to customize them while Zoro napped in the crow’s nest. It was like an early birthday present for their swordsman.
The library sign was purple with flowers and books. For the navigator room, Nami made it orange with a log pose and maps. Robin and Sanji had drawn needles and bandaids for the infirmary sign and Chopper had painted it with a pink background. Luffy had harassed Sanji to draw meat for the galley so he did with a chef hat next to it and a yellow background. The aquarium’s was blue with fish. Franky drew bombs on his and Usopp drew his kabuto on his own. For the crow’s nest, the background was green and they drew weights. Luffy wanted to draw swords too so Robin made an eye in the crow nest to see the details on Zoro’s swords and she drew them while Luffy painted. For the two bedrooms, they had drawn their own faces on each sign.
Usopp entered the galley and saw that everyone minus Zoro was at the table. He raised an eyebrow “No one went to get Zoro?”
Sanji looked at him “Franky went.”
Francky nodded “I went twenty minutes ago. Why is Zoro bro not on his way?”
“No, I saw him still in the crow nest.”
Sanji put out his cigarette and chuckled “Maybe he lost the way to the door?”
Nami snorted while Chopper frowned, “We should go get him.”
Usopp nodded “Alright I’m going.”
Brook stood up “I’m coming too.”
“You’re sure?”
“Of course. It’s no trouble for me.”
Usopp and Brook started walking to the crow's nest.
“I’m quite worried about our swordsman.”
Usopp frowned “What happened? You think he’s sick? Oh, dude if he’s hiding injuries from Chopper again I’m not going to stop him from strangling him. Last time I thought Chop was to kill him for real. Our little Chopper can be fucking scary sometimes.”
Brook shook his head “I don’t think he is. He’s just more silent than normally.”
“Oh. So you noticed too.”
Book nodded.
Usopp licked his lips “I don’t know how to bring up the subject with the others. I know Sanji knows something is up. I mean he only does his favorite meals for the past couple of days and Chopper is literally holding his hand to go to bed. Maybe we should ask Luffy. Zoro always answers and listens to Luffy.”
Brook nodded again “I don’t like seeing my crewmate sad.”
“Me neither. I’m sure Zoro is going to be fine.”
They climbed the ladder and entered the crow's nest after Usopp knocked. Zoro was sitting on one of the couches cleaning Kitetsu.
“Zoro” Usopp smiled “Lunch is ready, you’re coming?”
Zoro shook his head “Shitty cook will bring me a plate.”
Usopp frowned “What are you talking about? Everyone is waiting for you.”
“Our sniper is right Zoro.”
He looked at them “I’m not hungry. Just tell cook I will come later.”
Usopp looked around. Zoro had a very well-oiled cleaning sword routine. First Wado, then Kitetsu and Enma in last. Usually, it’s an hour per sword. Wado was resting on his right side and Enma on his left.
Usopp bites his bottom lips. He knew Zoro nearly skipped breakfast this morning and Sanji had to physically drag him to come eat and now he wanted to skip lunch? Not on his watch.
“Zoro, come on. You can clean Enma after it. Everyone is waiting.”
The green-haired swordsman acted like he didn’t hear him and only looked at Kitetsu. Fine. Big problems need big solutions.
Usopp turned his back “Fine. Come on Brook, the rest of the crew are waiting for us.”
“Usopp are you sure?”
“Yeah of course. I mean. If Zoro doesn’t want to follow us it’s fine.” Usopp smirked, “We will just ask Luffy to come get him.”
Zoro froze. They both knew that if Luffy was on bring back Zoro duty, he would just grab him and use the gum gum rocket to go back to the galley.
No one in their right mind wanted that.
“Fine. I’m coming.”
Usopp smiled, “Great.”
The three Straw Hat walked out of the crow nest and went to the galley. Usopp was pleased to see the rest of the crew had waited for them to eat even though everything was ready. Zoro sat at his place, at Luffy’s right side and Sanji put his plate on him. Fried egg with rice accompanied with shoyu and a bottle of shake. He slapped gently the back of his head “You’re late marimo.”
“Fuck you cook.”
Sanji only smiled and sat at Luffy’s left. And like that, everyone started eating, smiling. Robin and Chopper talked about books, Franky and Sanji about a new invention, Usopp and Jinbe about fishing, and Brook and Luffy about a new song about meat.
Nami was silent and Zoro could feel her eyes on him just like Usopp and Sanji. One day Chopper had said that the four of them had a special bond between them. Probably because they were sailing together since East Blue and dealt with Luffy’s shit for longer than anyone else. Especially himself.
He still remembers the old days, when it was just the two of them on a small boat hearing Luffy talking about their future nakamas.
“Oi Nami?”
Nami looked at Luffy and put her arm around her plate to protect it. “No Luffy, I won't give you my food.”
Luffy pouted “No, when do we arrive?”
She looked at the log pose and after at the window “Probably tomorrow.”
Luffy smiled “Really? Great! I hope there is meat and adventure!”
Sanji nodded “I prefer meat rather than adventure. I need to do the groceries.”
Chopper smiled “Me too. Could I go with you? I need plants and medicine.”
“Of course. Chop. Maybe Robin-chan and Nami-san can bless us with their magnificent presence.”
Nami nodded, “Actually I will need ink soon and paper too.”
“Of course Nami-san everything for you, our beautiful goddess!”
Zoro looked at his nakamas happily talking about what they would do once they arrived. So tonight’s dinner will be his last meal with them. He will try to not drink much during the afternoon and dinner, even if he has a high alcohol tolerance, he wanted to remember as much as he could his last moments with his soon-former nakamas. It was going to hurt like hell but he needed to do it. For them. Because they deserved better.
Luffy was happily talking about meat. Zoro needed to leave for Luffy. So his captain could be happier without him.
He felt his heart sting. Leaving Luffy was going to hurt but he needed to do it.
Zoro brought his left hand to his earrings and made them slowly ring together.
It also meant that he would need to talk with Shitty Cook before leaving.
———
The second lunch was over, Zoro bolted away from the galley growling he needed to finish cleaning Kitetsu and then do Enma. Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp left soon after to go fishing but Nami knew that in ten minutes they would start playing tag. Brook followed them saying it’s been a long time since he hadn't been fishing with them. Sanji put in front of her and Robin a cup of tea and started to prepare the coffee for Jinbe and himself and a bottle of cola for Franky.
Robin took a sip of tea “One of us should go on the deck. Knowing them, they will fall in the water, drown, and die slowly feeling their lungs fill with water.”
Nami frowned “I think I will never get used to your sense of humor geez.”
Sanji looked out the window “It could be a good excuse to get Marimo out of the crow’s nest.”
Jinbe nodded “Oh so there is something wrong with Zoro. I wasn't sure because I hadn’t been traveling with you for a long time but I’m quite worried.”
Nami doesn’t respond and takes her cup in her hands. Sanji brought the two cups of coffee and the bottle of cola and sat. Nami and Sanji looked at each other and Robin realized that Chopper was indeed right when he said the four, five counting Luffy, East Blue children were sharing a special bond.
Franky put his sunglasses on his head “Should we do something super for Zoro bro? Maybe a party once we arrive at the island? Or go to the town bar?”
Robin nodded “I’m sure our swordsman will be fine. Or maybe he developed a mortal sickness and will suffocate in his own blood during the night.”
The four Straw Hat looked at each other. “Fucking hell Robin!”
Robin chuckled. Sanji looked at Franky “Also, could you work something in the crow’s nest because it’s freezing in it.”
Franky nodded “Sure. I’m gonna see what I can do. We wouldn’t want Zoro bro to feel sick.”
Once he and Jinbe finished their drinks they left the galley, Franky to work on a new heat system for the crow’s nest and Jinbe because it was officially his meditate time but in reality, he had been designated on babysitting duty to make sure none of their idiot three devil fruit users would drown by accident. Robin left too to read in the library.
Nami took a sip of tea and Sanji started doing dishes. Nobody talked and when Sanji dried the last plate he sighed. “Something is wrong with Marimo.”
“I know. He played with his earrings during lunch. He never does that except when he’s nervous and Zoro is never nervous.”
“I noticed too. Usopp too I think. Also Luffy probably.”
It was Nami's turn to sigh “What should we do? Wait?”
Sanji exhaled smoke from the window “I don’t know Nami-san.”
“Zoro spent all his time in the crow’s nest. I don’t like that. He’s even doing his naps in it and is no more on the deck. Training too. I know Zoro doesn’t talk much but it’s worse than before. I don’t like when he isolates himself.” Nami bites her bottom lip, “I’m gonna try something.”
Sanji smiled “And I’m sure you will succeed since it’s you Nami-san! You’re so smart we don’t deserve you oh dear princess!”
Nami left the galley with a smile and walked to the crow’s nest. When she entered, Zoro was pulling in Enma meaning he was done with the cleaning. Wonderful.
“Zoro, I want you to come with me.”
He raised an eyebrow “And why that witch?”
“Because I want you to carry things for me in the navigator’s room.”
“Pass.”
“Zoro, if you don’t come, I'm gonna increase your debt by 200%.”
“You really are a fucking witch.”
Nami smirked “Yeah I know. Now come on.” she started walking out of the room.
“No.”
Nami stopped. “Why not?”
“I don’t want to. Go ask Shitty Cook or anyone else. Last time I came helping, you yelled at me because I breathed the wrong way or some shit.”
“Zoro–”
“No, I'm not coming.” Zoro picked up his biggest weights and started training.
Nami pinched her lips “Fine. But in an hour I want you to be on the deck or your debt will increase by 300%.”
She left the room hearing Zoro growling “fucking witch.” She lost a battle but won’t lose the war. Zoro will spend time with them even if she has to physically drag him.
———
An hour later, Zoro was still training when Franky walked in holding papers, crayons, and a meter.
Zoro raised an eyebrow “What are you doing?”
“I’m gonna make a few changes here Zoro bro.”
“Why? It’s fine like that.”
“Nah. That room needs super heaters!”
“Right.”
“Don’t worry bro, I’m just taking a few measures today. Once we arrive at the island I will buy the stuff to build them.”
Zoro nodded. He continued his series while Franky walked around the room.
“You’re not going on the deck?”
“You want me to leave?”
Franky winced. Nami had given him a simple mission, to get Zoro out of the crow’s nest but he didn’t want to actually kick Zoro out. “No, but–”
“Then I don’t see why I should go on the deck.”
Franky sighed. Robin appears at the door “Zoro? Can you come? Luffy and Chopper fell in the ocean and Brook jumped in it to get them.”
Zoro sighed “Fucking hell.” He put his weights on the ground “Where are the others when you need them?”
The swordsman went out of the room leaving Franky and Robin alone.
“I thought Jinbe bro was on babysitting duty.”
“He is. He bought back Chopper and Brook but Luffy claims he wants to swim. Jinbe tried to talk but Luffy wouldn’t listen. So we decided to call Zoro before our captain died slowly from drowning.”
“Cool.” Franky smiled as Zoro jumped into the ocean to get back Luffy. He could hear from here Zoro’s screaming at him and their captain claiming he was fine and a second later lost consciousness.
“At least Zoro bro left. You’re a real genius, Robin.”
Robin smiled. “Now we only need to keep him with us.”
———
After saving Luffy, Zoro tried to walk back to the crow’s nest to nap but Chopper and Usopp stopped him.
“I want to nap.” Chopper frowned and crossed his arms. When he pouted, Chopper looked like a little child.
Zoro was tired. He needed to pack his stuff from the bedroom and empty the crow’s nest. He would leave the weights though. Maybe their next swordsman would need them to train. “Then go take a nap in your bed.”
“No, I want to nap with you on the deck.”
Chopper kept looking at him frowning. It was the first time Chopper could be so stubborn about something and Zoro could feel the rest of the crew’s eyes on him, daring him to say no.
He rolled his good eye “Fine.” He will pack his clothes later after dinner.
Chopper smiled and took his hand. They walked to his usual nap spot on the deck and sat against one of the Sunny walls with Chopper on his lap. Zoro saw the others smiling but maybe it was his imagination. Why would they care about where he takes his naps?
When he woke up an hour later, he was lying down with Chopper sleeping on his chest. Luffy took his left biceps as a pillow and Usopp was curled up against his side, asleep. Brook was playing violin, and Robin and Jinbe were reading. Nami was lying down on one of the deckchairs and Franky was softly singing with his guitar.
The cook came out of the galley holding plates. He gave everyone strawberry smoothies with little tangerine cakes. He gave nothing to Zoro and walked back to the galley. Zoro closed his eye again. It was fine. He didn’t care that the shitty cook didn’t bring him anything. He didn’t like sweetness anyway.
He fell back asleep not seeing Sanji coming out again holding a plate of onigiri and a bowl of warm sake that he put in the grass next to Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp’s plates.
Luffy cracked an eye “Thank you for Zoro Sanji.”
Sanji smiled, “Of course. Wouldn’t want that idiot to be hungry.”
Luffy looked at Zoro and put his Straw Hat on his first mate's face “Like that Zoro will be protected from the sun.” and fell back asleep smiling.
———
After he woke up a second time, Zoro saw that everyone was occupied. Luffy was at the head of the Sunny, Chopper was in the infirmary, the girls were in the bathroom, Usopp working on his pop green, Franky was working on the heaters, Shitty Cook was preparing dinner, Jinbe and Brook were talking about fighting skills.
He went to the boys' bedroom and opened his locker. He took a linen bag and put his clothes in it. He took his spare cleaning katana kit and put it in it too. He had been Luffy’s gift for last Christmas.
Shitty Cook had teased him for a week when he noticed Zoro had blushed after Luffy kissed him on the cheek once opening his gift.
Once he was done, he looked around the room. Zoro was going to miss the others snoring. Waking up with Luffy’s hand on his face. Hearing Usopp growling or insulting when their Captain woke up was a bit too much energic. Chopper adorable’s face when he was receiving compliments. Franky posing or singing with his guitar. Brook and his skeleton jokes, Jinbe calm. Shitty Cook fights and sarcasm. Robin’s dark humor and Nami’s temper.
He was going to miss Luffy the most of course. The first days will be hard. They never parted for a long time. The last time was when Luffy left to bring back the idiot self-sacrificing cook. Zoro thought he had stopped breathing when he saw the Sunny leaving with his captain without him and only started breathing again when Luffy hugged him at Wano.
It felt so wrong to live or even breathe without being at Luffy’s side.
But he needed to leave. He had to.
He was going to miss every single one of them. Leaving them will hurt as much as when Mihawk hurt him but he needs to do it.
Speaking of Mihawk, maybe he could welcome him again. Perona would be there but at least he wouldn’t be alone. Or maybe he should be alone. It’s not like he deserved to have a family.
Zoro sighed. Packing had tired him a lot. He was going to take one last nap in the crow’s nest.
———
At dinner, everyone sat and Chopper noticed Zoro wasn’t there. “Zoro is not here. We should go get him.”
Jinbe stood up and said, “I’m coming with you.”
Luffy sat on his chair. “I went and Zoro was napping. He’s tired and needs to rest. Sanji will bring him a plate later.”
“But we can’t eat without Zoro and he will be eating alone.”
“We’re going to eat and Sanji will bring him a plate. I will come too and stay with Zoro so he’s not alone.”
Chopper bites his bottom lips. He wanted to go get Zoro so badly. He knew something was wrong with him.
Luffy smiled “Zoro is fine. He just needs to rest.”
Chopper nodded. Luffy was right. Their captain knew Zoro for the longest so if Luffy said he was fine then Zoro was fine.
The crew eat in silence and once dinner is over Luffy decides that he will bring the plate alone. Sanji gave it to him and Luffy smiled seeing Zoro’s favorite food. Onigiri and fried egg.
“Thank you, Sanji.”
“Don’t mention it. Make sure that idiot eats everything.”
“Of course.”
Luffy walked carefully to the crow’s nest holding the plate like his most precious treasure. He walked in and Zoro opened his good eye.
“Captain.”
“Zoro! I’m bringing you dinner.”
“Thanks.”
Zoro took the plate and Luffy sat next to him.
“You don’t have to stay, you know.”
“I know.”
Luffy didn’t move, he stayed right next to Zoro’s right side. He looked at his calm captain. It’s unusual for him to be still and quiet. Maybe he knew what Zoro was up to and he wanted to say goodbye. Zoro swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn’t want to say goodbye to Luffy. To hear him say he was right to leave. That he regretted taking him. It would break him.
Zoro was rarely scared but right now he was terrified.
“Is today a bad day Zoro?”
“A bad day?”
Luffy hummed “Ace had bad days.”
Zoro doesn’t respond. After Ace’s death, Luffy rarely spoke about his late big brother. The only time Zoro would hear Ace’s name was because Luffy had a nightmare. Those nights, Luffy would get down from his bunk and sneak into Zoro's bed right below and silently cry against Zoro’s chest.
Luffy continued “He wouldn’t see anyone or talk. He would nap a lot and didn’t eat much. Dadan said me and Sabo needed to give him space and be quiet. She said that sometimes Ace’s brain was mean to him. That he was sad because of it.” He turned his head and looked at Zoro. “So is today a bad day?”
Zoro whispered, “I don’t know.”
Luffy smiled, “It’s okay to not know.”
Luffy rested his head on Zoro’s shoulder and Zoro rested his head on Luffy’s hair. If tears escaped from Zoro’s eye, Luffy didn’t mention it. He only held his hand tighter.
———
When Zoro woke up Luffy was drooling on his chest. He carried him to the boys' bedroom and put him in bed. He didn’t deserve Luffy’s kindness. He is not lovable or valuable enough for that.
Zoro brushed Luffy’s hair. He loved him so much.
He left the room and saw light in the galley. He needed to talk to Curly now. He passed Usopp who was on watch duty and entered. Cook was finishing cleaning the room and he noticed him.
“I hope you finished your plate Marimo.”
“I did. Thanks, Curly.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Sanji filled the water out of the sink and started to put the plates back in the cupboard. Zoro swallowed. He didn't know how to start the conversation so he went straight to the point.
“I want you to become first mate.”
Sanji froze and held the plate mid-air. A second later he put it back in and closed the cupboard. He turned around and stood against the work plan. “You want what?”
Zoro licked his lips and slowly repeated “I said, I want you to become first mate.”
“Oh. So I heard right the first time. Fuck.”
Zoro sighed. He and Curly weren’t the best to talk to each other, especially for serious conversation but they needed to have it. Zoro needed to have that conversation otherwise he wouldn’t be able to leave freely.
Sanji took a cigarette and lightened up. He took a long drag and exhaled the smoke “Shit, I didn’t see you stealing any bottles today. Do you have like a secret drawer in the crow’s nest? How much are you drunk right now?”
“I’m not drunk.”
“Then why do you want me to be first mate?”
“Because I’m leaving the crew.”
Sanji looked at him like a second head growing out “Because you what now?”
Zoro sighed “I’m leaving the crew once we arrive at the new island for a personal reason. So I want you to become Luffy’s first mate.”
“Okay.” Sanji crossed his arms “Who are we fighting?”
Zoro frowned “Fighting?”
“Yeah. Are we fighting one of your parents? Siblings? Old friends?”
“No? What the hell are you talking about? Are you drunk?”
Sanji exhaled smoke “I wish at this point. Also, it couldn't be old friends since your only friends are us.”
“Fuck you Curly! I have friends! I have Johnny and Yosaku.”
“So are we fighting them?”
Zoro frowned deeper “No what the fuck are you talking about Curly! There is no fight!”
“Then why are you leaving?”
“I told you. Personal reason.”
Sanji looked at him. He finished his cigarette and turned it off. “I’m too tired to deal with this.” and started walking out of the galley.
“Curly what the hell are we doing? We need to talk!” Zoro started following him but Sanji stopped.
“No. You stay there and I’m coming back.”
Zoro crossed his arms and saw Sanji leaving. He came back a few minutes later pulling Usopp over by his shirt.
“What’s going on? Guys I’m on night watch duty, I can’t be the referee again in whatever is today's challenge.”
Sanji made Usopp sit on one of the dining chairs and stand against the table next to the sniper. “Marimo, tell him what you told me.”
Usopp looked at Sanji and next at Zoro “Is everything alright?”
Zoro sighed “I told Curly I wanted him to become Luffy’s first mate.”
“Sorry?”
Sanji lit another cigarette “Tell him why.”
Zoro sighed again “Because I’m leaving the crew.”
Usopp looked at Zoro and Sanji back and forth “You’re kidding right? No, he’s not kidding. Oh shit, you’re definitely not kidding. Of course, Zoro is not kidding. Are you drunk? Is he drunk?”
Sanji bites his cigarette “Fucking wish.”
Zoro felt a vein pop on his forehead “I’m not drunk!”
“Oh. Why then?”
“Personal reason.” As Zoro said it Sanji mouthed the answer too.
“Oh. Okay,” Usopp frowned, “then who do we need to fight?”
Zoro pinched the bridge of his nose. Why can’t the shitty cook just say yes and move on so Zoro could go to sleep? He still had the crow’s nest to empty and clean. “There is no fight.”
Sanji frowned “So what? You leave and plan to become the world's greatest swordsman without us?”
Why did Stupid Cook bring his dream into this conversation? It’s not like he cared about it.
He always thought he would become the world’s greatest swordsman by Luffy’s side but he needed to leave. For Luffy and the crew. He also couldn’t give up, he had promised Kuina and he would never break a promise he made to Kuina.
When he won, it would probably make the news and maybe Luffy and the crew could see it and be proud of him. If they remembered him of course.
Zoro nodded and Usopp's eyes widened “Not cool dude! How are we supposed to support you during the fight and cheer all together after you win if we're not there?”
Sanji crossed his arms frowning, “We’re supposed to accomplish our dream together asshole.”
Zoro frowned “Since when do you care about my dream?”
Usopp shouted “Of course we care about it! We have everything ready! We even made fireworks with Chopper and Franky.”
Sanji took another drag “What about Chopper? What about Luffy? What are you gonna tell them?”
“Chopper doesn’t need me, Curly and Luffy will understand.”
“Do you even hear yourself mosshead?”
Usopp started whispering to himself “Okay. This is serious and I’m so not ready for that. We need more brains.” he looked at Zoro and Sanji “I’m gonna get someone okay, just don’t move or kill each other. Please.” and the sniper left the galley practically running.
“Where is he going?”
“No fucking clue.”
———
“Say it again but slower.”
Nami massaged her temples. Usopp woke her up at fucking midnight saying nonsense like Zoro wanted Sanji to become the first mate and he was leaving for a personal reason. She had told him that everything was fine and it was just a stupid nightmare and Usopp shouldn’t sleep during night watch because Zoro, Zoro would never leave them. After all, even fucking death couldn’t make Zoro leave them.
The only way Zoro could be separated from the crew was because of his no orientation sense. But even then, Luffy or Sanji would always find him again because those two idiots had a fucking Zoro’s compass in their heads.
Seriously no matter where Zoro left or when, Luffy and Sanji always manage to find him in the next five minutes. Always. Nami wished she had that power too. Those boys will be Nami’s death one day.
Right now Nami was in her favorite blue nightdress, a gift from Vivi for their anniversary, sitting on one of the dining chairs, Usopp at her left standing against the dining table, Sanji in the kitchen preparing tea and Zoro standing in front of her speaking nonsense.
Zoro sighed “I said I want Curly to become Luffy’s first mate because once we arrive at the next island I’m leaving the crew for a personal reason.”
Nami repressed a sigh and looked at Usopp and Sanji “Are we sure he’s not drunk?”
The three men said in unison “Yes.”
“Fucking great. Fine. Fine. This is fine.” Nami stood up and started walking back and forth “Who are we fighting?”
Zoro rolled his eye “For fuck sake there is no fight.”
Nami continued like Zoro didn't answer “Mom? Dad? Siblings? Old friends?”
Sanji shook his head “Not old friends Nami-san.”
“Great, so it's family. Even better.”
Usopp crossed his arms “Maybe it’s his parents. We never heard about siblings.”
Nami shook her head “We never heard about Luffy’s siblings and he has two. We never heard about Sanji’s siblings and he has four.”
“Right, so it definitely can be siblings. I don’t think it’s Perona though.”
Zoro frowned “Perona? She’s not my sister.”
Usopp raised an eyebrow “She calls every two weeks to talk to and quote ‘her little bro’.”
Sanji turned off his cigarette “Is Mihawk a possibility?”
Zoro shouted at the cook “Mihawk?”
What the hell was Mihawk doing in this conversation?
Nami nodded “We have to think about all the possibilities. Fuck if it’s one of Zoro’s old mentors it’s gonna be complicated.”
“Mihawk seriously? Shit” Usopp sat on the chair “he’s scary.”
“Mihawk has nothing to do with my decision. Why would he?”
Usopp put his hand on his heart “Really oh thank god.”
Sanji shrugged “Isn’t it like your dad or something? Is that why you want to defeat him without us and accomplish your dream alone?”
Nami’s eyes widened “He wants what now!”
“He’s not my dad!” Zoro felt his face going red “What the fuck?”
Usopp nodded “Perona said he’s hanging your bounty posters in the castle. He also keeps every article mentioning you in a book.”
“No, he’s not! Pinky is lying!” Zoro was not blushing. Definitely not. Perona is fucking lying just like the time when she said Mihawk and her missed him.
He needed to call her. Scratch that, he will ask her when she calls next weekend because there is no way he’s calling Perona first. She will call him needy again.
“Anyways.” Nami crossed her arms “We need to find who is making Zoro leave so we can kick their ass and everything will go back to normal again.”
Zoro sighed “There is no fight. I’m leaving on my own decision. Why does everyone think there is a fight?”
Nami looked at him like he was an idiot. “Every time someone is trying to leave our crew is for protecting our crew. Either from family or from government threats. Wait, is it because of the government?”
Usopp looked at her “We are fighting the government again? Cause I don’t think I have enough pop green for that. Maybe I can work on something. I mean I will definitely work on something because they can’t take Zoro from us.”
Sanji massaged his temples “So who are we fighting?”
Zoro looked at Sanji “No one!” Then he looked at Nami “There is no fight.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
“Then why are you leaving?”
Zoro swallowed. It was now or never. He couldn’t lie, Nami could smell bullshit a mile away.
“I know. I know I’m not loved by the crew and that’s fine. But Luffy and the rest of you deserve to live with someone more lovable and not an animal like me. Someone you can care for. That’s why I’m leaving.”
He had said it. He let out a breath. Weirdly Zoro felt his chest lighted. Like saying it out loud to someone felt good. Now he was waiting for them to agree with his words. Nami would nods and says he’s right. Usopp too. After all, Zoro was against his return back at Water Seven. He was hurt when Usopp fought Luffy and left but he needed to be strong for the crew and Luffy and not show it. No one could go against Luffy. Sanji would laugh and say it was about a damn time and that Zoro was an idiot and should have noticed sooner.
Nami pulled a chair and sat next to Usopp. She needed to sit a minute after what Zoro just said.“You don’t think that seriously right?”
Zoro doesn’t respond as Usopp whispers “Fucking hell.”
No one talked, Zoro could feel Cook and Usopp's eyes on him but he couldn’t look away from Nami.
She softly spoke. It was like she was afraid of asking. Or maybe she was scared of his answer. “Do you think Luffy doesn’t love you either? I mean you said the crew but are you including Luffy?”
Zoro swallowed. “Yes. Luffy only took me because I was captured in a marine base and he needed a fighter. Now everyone can fight so he doesn’t need me anymore.”
Nami’s face changed. She looked mad. Furious even. Her hands were shaking but not in the ‘I’m scared way’ but more ‘I’m gonna strangle you’ way. Usopp gasped at his words and he heard the cook cursing. She suddenly stood up and Zoro took a step back, thinking Nami was going to slap the life out of him but she started walking out of the galley.
“Nami, where are you going?”
“Zoro is not going to listen to us Usopp. So I’m going for plan C.”
She left the room and slammed the door. Usopp sighed and whispered. “She’s so mad dude.”
Zoro didn’t know what to do. Plan C? What the hell was plan C? Since when did they even have a plan B?
They only had one plan. A for attack. So what the hell C stands for?
He felt the Cook walking toward him and he kicked the back of his head.
Zoro frowned “What the fuck Shitty Cook?”
“First for worrying Nami-san. Second for saying that amount of bullshit. Are you serious Mossball?”
“Of course, I’m fucking serious! And I want you to become the first mate so you can replace me.”
“Hell no! Luffy is the only one who can choose his first mate and he chooses you dumbass. Seriously, do you think Luffy or the fucking rest of us wouldn’t have fucking looked everywhere when we would have realized you were gone? Fucking Marimo I knew you were dumb not that dumb.”
Zoro needed to leave. Now the others knew his plan so he could leave. Maybe he could use the mini merry but the crew had made it very clear he was forbidden to use it alone. Something about his no orientation sense. He could hide in the crow’s nest until they saw land and leave after they moored. Zoro made a step toward the door but Sanji caught his arm.
“You're not leaving until Nami-san comes back. We wait for plan C.”
———
Luffy was happily sleeping until someone slapped him in the face. He frowned and turned on his left side. Maybe Usopp got tired of his snores. Another slap. He turned on his other side. Usopp was definitely lying when he said Luffy snored the strongest. Everyone knew it was Zoro. His first mate had his nose broken too many times to not affect his snoring. Another slap. Luffy turned face against his pillow and growled. He was dreaming about meat, can Usopp leave him alone? He was the Captain for cry's sake.
Another slap.
Luffy growled and cracked an eye, he saw Nami frowning. She was mad. Like mad mad.
Luffy tried to think hard. He hadn’t stolen her food or gone close to the tangerines, he hadn’t been in the navigator’s room since the last incident and his snores couldn’t be that loud that he woke her up.
“You need to wake up Luffy.”
“N’mi? S’mthing wr’ng? We arr’ved?”
“No, not yet. But we have a problem.”
“We’re attacked?” Luffy stood up in his bed. He didn’t hear any scream or fight. Where was Zoro?
“Worse. Zoro says he’s leaving the crew.”
Luffy didn’t understand Nami’s sentence at first. Zoro would never leave. Never. He couldn't leave.
If Nami was joking, it wasn’t funny. Luffy felt like a part of him was being taken away every time one of his nakamas was away from him but it was something else with Zoro. When he left for Whole Cake Island to bring back Sanji, Luffy knew he left a part of his soul and heart with Zoro. Sailing without him felt so wrong but he needed him to go to Wano and protect the rest of the crew.
When Zoro disappeared at Sabaody, Luffy felt his own heart stop beating. His disappearance had begun a nightmare that only ended when Luffy hugged Zoro again two years later.
Zoro couldn’t be serious. Maybe Nami heard it wrong.
Nami pinched her lips “Luffy. It’s serious. Zoro wants to leave because–”
“No.”
Nami frowned “No?”
“I want to hear it from him.”
Luffy put his straw hat on his hair and left the boys' bedroom with Nami behind him. She noticed Luffy was walking quickly to the galley. His fingers would twitch. She only hoped Zoro wouldn’t be stubborn and listen to Luffy.
Just please not another fight. Please.
Nami barely supported the fight between Luffy and Usopp. She had nightmares after Sanji fought against Luffy. She didn’t even want to think about the possibility of Luffy and Zoro fighting each other. It would be so wrong.
She clenched her fists. Please no more fight.
Luffy entered the galley. Usopp was still sitting on the chair and Sanji looked like he was ready to either fight Zoro or lock him in a room until he would stop saying bullshit. When Zoro noticed Luffy he straightened.
Luffy only looked at Zoro. “Everyone out. I want to speak to Zoro alone.”
Nobody moved. Sanji glanced at Luffy “You’re sure?”
“Captain’s order.”
Nami swallowed. Luffy was furious.
Usopp moved first. “Right. I need to go back on watch.” and walked out of the galley. Sanji looked back and forth between Luffy and Zoro “You better not break anything in my kitchen.” and left. Nami couldn’t move. She didn’t want to move. She didn’t want to leave them alone.
“Nami. You can go back to sleep. Thank you for warning me.”
She couldn’t see Luffy’s eyes hidden by his hat. She swallowed the lump in her throat “Please don’t fight.”
A minute passed and she left the room, closing the door. Nami went back to the girl’s room quickly and curled up in her bed. Neither Luffy nor Zoro had promised. A tear rolled on her cheek.
“Robin, I'm scared.”
She heard Robin pushing back her cover and Nami left her bed and went into Robin’s open arms. She put her nose right next to Robin’s neck. Robin put her right arm around Nami’s waist and petted her hair. Nami hugged Robin tight.
“Everything is going to be fine Nami. They won’t fight.”
“What if Zoro leaves? What will we do? Zoro can’t leave Robin. He just can’t. He has no right to leave. He can’t leave us.”
“Captain will never let Zoro leave. Neither do we. Our swordsman is smarter than most people think. He has a big heart too. That’s why our Captain chose him. Luffy will touch his heart. Captain knows how to. He will make him understand.”
“Robin, Zoro thinks we don’t love him.”
“Captain will tell him. He won’t stop telling him until our swordsman believes him. Then tomorrow, we will tell him too.”
———
“Nami said you’re leaving.”
Shit. Fuck. How come things could have gone so bad?
Zoro nodded “Yes I am.”
“Why?”
“Personal reason.”
“Bullshit. Zoro needs to stop saying bullshit. Why are you leaving!”
Zoro swallowed. Luffy was so mad.
“Personal reason.”
Luffy crossed his arms “Who do I need to punch?”
“Punch?”
“Every time one of you wants to leave me, leave us, it’s for protecting the crew or something like that. First Nami, then Usopp after Robin, and finally Sanji. Now you. So who do I need to punch?”
“Luffy, you don’t have to fight anyone.”
“If there is no fight then Zoro is not Zoro because Zoro would never leave me.”
“Unless it's for the better.”
Luffy frowned “What Zoro is talking about? For the better what?”
“For the crew. I’m not useful to the crew. Luffy you’re going to be the King of the Pirates, you need people useful to you or you will be burdened down. I can’t catch fish. I’m not a navigator or an archaeologist. I don’t know how to cook or heal people. I don’t know how to build things. I’m not a musician or know karate. I’m not useful Luffy. Besides fighting I don’t bring anything to the crew. Our nakamas deserve better than that. You deserve better than that.”
“Zoro is saying bullshit again. I don’t need or want anyone else other than Zoro.”
“Luffy–”
Luffy continued “Zoro is my first mate. I don’t want anyone else. I know the crew sleeps better when Zoro is on night watch duty because they know nothing will happen to them. Because they know Zoro will destroy the world so they can sleep peacefully. Zoro is our protector. When Zoro is there, no nightmares can research us. No enemies either. Nothing. We can’t lose the battle if Zoro is there because he will fight until everyone is safe. I can go to fight without worrying about our nakamas because I know Zoro will do anything to protect them. Zoro is my first mate and my first crew member and I won’t change that for anything.”
“You don’t need to lie Luffy.”
Luffy frowned “Since when do I lie? I thought Zoro knew me. I can’t lie.”
Zoro chuckled “Right.”
“I love Zoro. I want Zoro to stay.”
“I love you too Luffy.”
“So Zoro can’t leave.”
“I have to. You don’t deserve to have an animal, a monster next to you.”
“Zoro is not a monster.” Luffy walked toward Zoro. They were so close Zoro could feel Luffy’s breathing. He smiled for the first time since he entered the galley “Zoro is kind. Zoro ate dirty onigiri made with sugar even if he don’t like sweets to make a little girl happy. Zoro would paint Robin and Nami’s nails and sometimes do the boys too because he learned it with Ghost Girl. He would even braid their hair. Zoro sleeps with Chopper when he has a nightmare. Zoro would dry the dishes with Sanji. Zoro would help carry things for Usopp. Zoro would help Franky with his new inventions and try them. Zoro would spar with Brook. Zoro would meditate with Jinbe. Zoro would hold me when I cry.”
Zoro didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how Luffy could see good things about him. He was a murderer. He was a monster. He was an animal. Right?
Right?
“Our nakamas love and care for Zoro. So so much. I know they would be ready to do anything to protect you too.” Luffy put his hat on Zoro’s hair “And if Zoro really leaves then I’m going back to Foosha. Because I can’t be King of the Pirates without Zoro.”
Zoro’s eyes widened. In all the years he spent by Luffy’s side, he had never heard his Captain say he couldn’t accomplish his dream. Luffy never doubted becoming King of the Pirates. He knew, worked, and fought for his dream. His determination is what Zoro followed him back to Shell Town.
“No. No, you-” Zoro whispered “You can’t do that.”
He couldn’t do that. Luffy couldn’t give up his dream for Zoro. He has no right. Not for him. He wasn’t important enough. He wasn’t worth it.
Luffy smiled “I’m the Captain. I can do everything I want.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Zoro is an idiot too to think he could leave me. You stay with me. Captain’s order.”
Zoro sighed with a soft smile. Luffy was right. How could he have thought Luffy, Luffy would have let him leave? Luffy had fought fishermen, royals, an Yonko, and the fucking world government for his nakamas. Of course, he wasn’t going to let him leave easily.
“Now, Zoro’s brain was mean to Zoro, or has someone said that to Zoro?”
“Both.”
Luffy raised an eyebrow “Both?”
“A marine said that to me weeks ago. After that, my brain got mean.”
“Where is the marine?”
“Dead. I killed him.”
“Good. So Zoro still wants to leave?”
“No. I’m sorry for saying I would leave.”
Luffy smiles brighter “It’s fine. Zoro was silly. I put Zoro in the right way and Zoro put me in the right way. That’s why Zoro is my first mate.”
Zoro smiled softly “You're right. Captain.”
Luffy advanced a bit more and gently wrapped his arms around Zoro and he wrapped his around Luffy’s waist. He rested his cheek on Zoro’s left shoulder. “I’m glad Zoro is not leaving anymore. Next time Zoro’s brain is mean to Zoro, can you promise you will tell me?”
“I promise.”
“Good. Because I want the future world's greatest swordsman as my first mate. No one else.”
They stayed in each other's arms so long Zoro lost track of the time. It could be minutes or hours, Zoro didn’t care as long as he was with Luffy. Luffy slowly raised his head and rested his forehead against Zoro. He closed his eye and could feel his Captain’s breathing.
“Zoro?”
“Yes, Luffy?”
“Can I kiss you?”
“Yes, Luffy.”
Luffy slowly captured his lips. It felt right, it felt good. Zoro felt like he was falling but he wasn’t scared. Why would he be? Zoro was with Luffy. Nothing bad could happen with Luffy. He didn’t want this moment to end. Never. When Luffy parted he rested his forehead again against Zoro’s.
“I love Zoro so much.”
“I love you too Luffy. But you deserve a better lover than me.”
“Does Zoro trust me?”
“With my life, soul, and dream.”
Luffy smiled “Then trust me. Trust me as I trust you. I wouldn’t trust my heart with anyone but you. Zoro can’t leave me. Never. Captain’s order.”
“Aye Captain.”
If Luffy wanted to, Zoro would stay by his side until the end of time. Zoro will follow that order until Death comes for him.
Even there, Zoro thought Luffy wouldn’t be scared to fight Death itself for keeping his first mate by his side.
Luffy kissed him again. It’s strange. Zoro always thought Luffy would kiss like he eats meat, with envy, passion, and gluttony. But no. Luffy kissed him with softness, patience, and love. Luffy wasn’t taking but giving. He kissed Zoro like he was important. Like he was precious. Like he was worth everything. When Luffy parted, he put his forehead again against Zoro’s.
“Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Luffy.”
“I’m happy to know Zoro is happier. Now we should go back to sleep.” Luffy brushed Zoro’s cheek with his right hand. “Zoro has dark circles under his eyes, he needs to rest.” He stopped the hug and took Zoro’s hand “Come on.”
They started walking toward the door when Luffy softly spoke “Goodnight Robin. Goodnight Nami.”
Zoro glanced at the wall and saw an ear disappearing leaving only petals. Luffy opened the door and bent his head over in the right direction. “It’s okay Sanji, you can go to sleep.”
Zoro frowned. The cook hadn’t gone to bed when Luffy told them to leave?
A couple of steps could be heard and Sanji appeared in front of them smoking. “Marimo stopped his bullshit?”
Luffy nodded “Yes Zoro is staying.”
Sanji turned off his cigarette. “Good.”
Zoro walked out of the galley, switched the light off, and closed the door showing Usopp sitting against the wall. The sniper smiled “I’m glad to hear that Luf.”
Luffy smiled “We’re going back to sleep. Goodnight Usopp! Wake us if you need anything.”
“Don’t worry Luffy! Nothing can scare the great captain Usopp!.”
Usopp waved and the monster trio started walking down the stairs. Luffy was still holding Zoro’s hand. The captain was about to open the boys' bedroom when the door opened. Chopper was holding one of Zoro’s shit with his right hoof and rubbed his eyes with the other “Luffy? Zoro? Sanji? Is everything alright?”
Luffy tightened his grip on Zoro’s hand “Yes Chopper, everything is fine.”
———
Zoro woke up a couple of hours later with Chopper sleeping on his chest and Luffy curled up all around him and his face close to Zoro’s neck. The bed wasn’t big enough for three people but they managed to fit. He glanced around and saw Sanji still sleeping. Shitty Cook never sleeps in so Zoro must’ve woken up early since Curly wasn’t up for breakfast.
“Zoro?”
The swordsman turned his head and saw Jinbe standing next to the lockers “Are you alright my brother?”
Zoro felt Luffy rubbing his nose against his neck “Yeah thank you Jinbe.”
Jinbe smiled, “I’m glad to hear that. I was worried. Everyone was.”
“Everyone?”
“Of course. When the protector is not okay, the rest of the nakamas are concerned.”
“Protector. Luffy called me that too.”
Jinbe nodded “It’s because you are. You’re the Straw Hat protector. When something is wrong, the rest of the crew looks after you when the Captain is not there. You’re the right wing of the future King of Pirates. It’s quite normal for everyone to worry when you’re not okay. I have seen a lot of pirate crew. Most of the time, the crew follows the first mate because they’re scared or forced. But you are very loved, Zoro. They care for you. They trust you. That’s why everyone follows you. Now rest my brother. The sun had barely risen.”
Zoro closed his eye and fell back asleep feeling Luffy’s smile against his neck and his grip gently tightening around his body. He fell back asleep feeling Luffy leaving sloppy kisses on his neck.
Zoro woke up a second time by the noise of the other men. Curly was leaving the bedroom, Franky was getting ready for the shower, and Brook and Chopper talking about their future activities.
“You slept well?”
Zoro turned his gaze to Luffy still in bed with him “Yeah. You?”
Luffy hummed. “I'm hungry. You think Sanji finished breakfast?”
“Curly just left. Give him five minutes.”
Luffy smiled “Great.”
Luffy looked at him and Zoro felt drowning in his eyes. Luffy softly kissed him. He giggled and got up. He pulled Zoro out of bed and the swordsman took off the straw hat. He put it back on Luffy’s hair.
“Suit you better Captain.”
“Shishishi.”
They left the bedroom in the direction of the galley, Luffy holding Zoro’s pinky finger with his own. Usopp, Nami, and Robin were already at the table. Usopp was eating breakfast first so he could quickly go to bed. Nami and Robin were drinking tea with Sanji softly singing along a tone dial, preparing the rest of the breakfast.
Luffy sat at his place at the head of the table and Zoro had his right. He pressed his left knee against Luffy’s right knee and Luffy rested his hand on Zoro’s.
“Sanji! I’m hungry!”
“A minute Captain.”
Nami was at Zoro’s right, drinking her tea. She wasn’t talking but Zoro could feel she was angry at him.
“Zoro?”
He hummed at Robin.
“I was thinking about moving books in the library. Could you help me and Nami?”
Everyone in the room knew that Robin could do it by herself, she just had to use her devil fruit, and yet.
“Okay.”
Robin smiled, “Thank you. After that, I was thinking we could do our nails and maybe skin care.”
Zoro nodded and a few minutes later the other Straw Hat arrived and they started eating all together.
Usopp bent his head a bit to see Zoro “Hey, in the afternoon can you come to the workshop? I have things to move to. And I was thinking about a new weapon, you could come and tell me what you think.”
Zoro nodded.
Franky put his sunglasses on his hair “Zoro bro we need to work on the heater in the crow’s nest and where you want me to put them.”
“I was thinking about three heaters. Enough to warm the room but not too much.”
“Great Zoro bro! We can work after lunch.”
Zoro nodded again. His day was going to be really busy. He was already dreaming about his future afternoon nap.
“After that Zoro” Brook put his cup of tea back on the table “I was thinking we could spar together. It’s been a long time since you and I trained together. So long I have wrinkles now. If I had skin of course. Yohohoho.”
The crew laughed. The rest of the meal passed quickly and once breakfast was done Curly stood up and took the different dishes. When he passed behind Zoro, he kicked his hips “I know our goddess Robin-chan and Nami-san need you but you better not forget you’re on dish duty stupid Marimo.”
Zoro rolled his eye “Yeah I know, Curly Bow.”
He stood up and rolled his sleeve. Sanji started washing and Zoro took a towel to dry. Their nakamas left the galley one by one and went to their own activities. Before leaving, Luffy went closer to them and put a kiss on Zoro’s neck. Neither Sanji nor Zoro talked for most of the washing. Sanji washed, passed the plate, Zoro dried, and put it next to him so later they could arrange them in the cupboard above them. Only the tone dial playing soft music could be heard in the galley.
“We made some plans with Usopp.”
Sanji passed the last plate to Zoro and pulled the water out. He took a cigarette and lightened up.
Zoro dried the last plate and put it with the rest. He raised an eyebrow “Plans?”
Sanji hummed “In case plan C didn’t work.”
“Not much faith in our Captain Cook?”
“Nah. We just knew your stupidity was equal to Luffy's stubbornness.”
“How many plans?”
“Four. The first was making Chopper do the dirty work. His cries would have made you stay even if you didn’t want to.”
“Guilty trap? Low bow Curly.”
“We are pirate moss of brain since when we play fair? Second, we attached you to one of us. We would take turns of course. For the third one, Usopp thought about stealing your clothes but I said you were dumb enough to walk around naked and I would rather die or become blind than see you butt naked.”
Zoro chuckled, “And fourth?”
Sanji exhaled smoke “Our goddess Robin-chan.”
“What about Robin?”
“She would have used the same technique as she used on Franky back on Water Seven.”
Zoro thought for a minute trying to remember what she did. Then he remembered.
Dos Fleur. Grab.
“She wouldn’t have.”
Sanji smirked, “She agreed.”
“Fuck.”
Sanji laughed. He took a long drag and exhaled smoke “Did you really think we would have let you leave like that?”
“I thought you would throw a party or some shit. Especially you.”
“Can’t believe you’re that dumb. Someone said that shit to you or did you come up with it with your own stupidity?”
“Someone said it to me.”
“Guy is dead?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.” Sanji turned off his cigarette “Now come on Marimo, you need to leave the fuck out of my kitchen. You need some sun asshole.”
Zoro smiled “Thanks.” he walked to the door and stopped “Hey Curly?”
“What?”
“Would you have accepted to be first mate?”
“I told you, shitty swordsman. Luffy chose you. And our idiot captain is rarely wrong about people. If he says you’re worth it then you are. Now stop thinking, it doesn’t suit you.”
Zoro smirked “Fuck you Curly.”
Sanji smiled, “You too Mosshead.”
Zoro left the galley, he was about to get down the stairs when someone punched him on his head. Hard.
“Fucking witch.”
“That and your debt increased by 500%.”
“500? What the hell Nami?”
Nami turned her back and started walking in the direction of the navigator’s room.“That’s for worrying me asshole. And for thinking you could accomplish your dream without us. You’re lucky we didn’t tell Luffy. Idiot. Vivi agrees with me. And she said hi.”
Zoro sighed, rubbing his head, and went down the stairs. Luffy, Chopper, and Brook were fishing on the right side of the Sunny. Who let three devil fruit users so close to the sea? Who was on babysitting duty?
Jinbe was meditating close to them and he opened an eye and Zoro got closer.
“Brother, I think both of us will be needed if something happens.”
“Luffy is the worst, right?”
“I've never seen a devil fruit user with that much eagerness for swimming before.”
Zoro chuckled. “My first gray hair will be because of him.”
It was Jinbe’s turn to laugh.
Zoro sat on the grass next to Luffy. He rested his head against his Captain’s hips and felt tiredness growing in him. He didn't even feel himself falling asleep.
When he woke up, he was lying down in the grass. He felt a blanket over him and fingers in his hair. His head was on someone’s lap. He could smell rubber.
Luffy.
Zoro could hear Robin’s voice reading out loud. Brook was playing music and Franky was making the different voices of the story characters. He opened his good eye and saw his nakamas sitting in a circle. Chopper had stars in his eyes. Nami was listening and checking the horizon at the same time. Jinbe would ask some questions from time to time. Even Usopp was there, half sleeping on Curly. Everyone was drinking a smoothie or eating a little cake. A plate of onigiri with a bowl of warm sake was in front of him. Fucking Curly.
Zoro turned his head and saw Luffy looking at him smiling.
“Zoro slept well?”
He nodded.
“Nami says we will arrive in a couple of hours. You can sleep again.”
Zoro turned and buried his face against Luffy’s stomach. He heard his captain laugh. Luffy bent his head and kissed Zoro. Zoro fell back asleep surrounded by his nakamas, and his family. All smiling. Together.