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Riki hasn’t any reason to feel the way he does right now; unwanted, betrayed, jealous. His eyes are narrowed to the sight of Park Sunghoon, the boy who he has a special sort of relationship with. They’re not dating, exactly, but they aren’t just friends either.
Sunghoon is talking to a girl. This girl is practically throwing herself at him—flipping hair, gripping his muscles . . . God, could she have any shame? It leaves a bad taste in Riki’s mouth. Maybe if he were a girl, Sunghoon wouldn’t feel so repulsed at the idea of them being a couple. Being public.
“You alright, Riki?” Jay asks as he passes by. Parties definitely are one of Riki’s favorite things to attend, especially because he thrives off of the energy of other people—but it’s also easier to slip into the shadows when he doesn’t wanna be found.
“Yeah,” he clicks his tongue. “I’m cool.”
So he does just that, shrinking away into a series of hallways—why is this house so damn big?—and eventually to a small garden area that he assumes is part of the backyard, to sit by himself and wallow in self-pity.
As much as he hates Sunghoon’ stupid, pretty, gorgeous, breathtakingly dumb face right now, something in him hopes that he notices Riki’s absence. That he comes to look for him.
It’s hard facing your own identity. Riki knows it well, too well. Sunghoon is figuring shit out, he gets that, but Riki refuses to just be a pawn he wants to pick up and move around sometimes. It isn’t fair to either of them.
“You disappeared on me.”
Riki looks up. His eyes meet Sunghoon’s dark ones, twinkling a bit. Maybe that’s his imagination. His face twists into a half-smile as he thinks, he realized I was gone. Quickly, too.
The smile fades, though. His hands poke at each other nervously as the air gets seemingly colder, dreadful. “I thought your little girlfriend was entertaining you enough,” It’s a murmur, and Riki wants him to hear it, yes, but he sort of regrets it as soon as the words leave his lips.
Sunghoon chuckles. Riki can’t believe this is funny to him. “ My little girlfriend? That’s why you’re out here?”
“Yeah— No. No, I’m just,” just absolutely destroyed and utterly disgusted with myself for not being someone you can accept your fondness for more easily, “just getting some air.”
Riki doesn’t look up, even when Sunghoon slides beside him and tugs one of his hands to be closed around both of his. The confinement is cold, but it warms up soon enough, and Riki would be a fool to reject physical intimacy from Sunghoon.
“I don’t like her, you know. She’s sweet, beautiful, funny, kind . . .” Sunghoon lists, and now Riki does want to snatch his hand away. Instead, he glares. “But she’s not you. Because you are all that and more. You don’t have to act in a way you aren’t to get my attention like she does. ‘Cause I like you for you.”
Riki thinks that just hearing that come from Sunghoon—it’s like picking up the pieces to a shattered heart and gluing it back together. “That’s generous, when you won’t even hug me around other people,” he scoffs. It’s somewhat lighthearted, but Sunghoon’s eyes sadden and Riki’s heart drops. “It’s fine. I don’t mind, really.”
“ I mind. I don’t want you thinking that I’m—like, ashamed of you or something. You’re one of the only things in my life I am proud of.”
You’re one of the only things in my life I am proud of.
Riki grins.
It remains as Sunghoon presses closer to him, the air between them closing in as Riki feels soft pressure on his lips. It’s easy to kiss Sunghoon; it comes to him naturally, letting the boy’s hands rest under his shirt as he lets his own fingers ruffle through platinum locks.
Sunghoon pulls back, but only maybe an inch or possibly shorter, because he plans on diving right back in for more, but not before he says, “I’m gonna kiss you more. From now on,” and Riki’s heart is on fire . “Because I want people to know you’re my boyfriend.”