Archive of Our Own

Nobody else remembers exactly how they decided to play spin the bottle that night, but Toge knows that he didn’t go to the store earlier that day to pick out a glass bottle by accident. 

He engineered the whole thing, leaving it on the floor of the common room and waiting for his friends to find it. There was just one thing Toge couldn’t plan out in advance. No matter how badly he wished otherwise, he couldn’t control where the bottle was going to land. Toge would just have to leave that bit to fate. 

Maki was still wiping Panda’s slobber off her cheek with the back of her hand when Toge gave the bottle an enthusiastic spin. It went around and around and around, and when Toge looked up, Yuuta was watching the twinkling glass with the exact same concentration that Toge was. It was as if they both willed it to stop where it did together: aimed right at Yuuta with arrow precision. 

“If I had to do it, you have to do it,” Maki snaps before either of them can protest. 

Neither of them were going to protest. 

Yuuta and Toge shared their first kiss right then and there, scrambling to their knees and crawling over the carpet of the first year common room so they could get close enough. Toge’s heart pounded. Yuuta’s ears turned bright red. Their lips met directly above the little glass bottle, and they both let the kiss linger just a beat too long. It was a joint decision that Toge would later spend countless hours alone in his room at night analyzing the significance of. 

And when they pulled away, the sigils were dusted over Yuuta’s cheeks for the very first time. 

Messaging: Maki Zen’in, Toge Inumaki, Panda, Yuuta Okkotsu

Yuuta Okkotsu: Ahhh mission went so quickly! Helping with clean up but might actually be home for dinner? 

Maki Zen’in: all your missions go quick, stop bragging

Panda: 🤣🤣

Yuuta: I didn’t mean it like that!!! 

Maki: we’re headed back too, it’ll be a couple of hours tho we’re pretty far out in the sticks

Maki: should be back around 7

Maki: family dinner?

One look at the sky, and Toge knows they’re seconds away from rain in Tokyo. 

It’s actually good timing. Toge’s just finished his shopping and will be tucked into the train station within the minute. Plus rain today might mean no rain tomorrow, and Gojo really had his sights set on an outdoor ceremony. 

Toge initially thought it was rather silly for the school to be throwing a full-blown graduation for a class of four students, but he’s since realized that the ceremony isn’t really for their sake anyway. It’s for the underclassman, who have been depressed for weeks about the idea of them not being around as much anymore. It’s for Yuuta’s parents, who have been extremely understanding about barely seeing their son for almost three years and should get to see his school at least once. It’s for Gojo who, due to Hakari and Kirara’s early dismissal from the school, is celebrating his first ever class of graduating students. 

He’s happy to go along with it, but Toge has a few tricks up his sleeve to make the day exciting for his friends as well. He sends a thumbs up to their group chat and clicks open a text thread to Nobara, warning her that the others will be back soon. The underclassman have been helping out with preparations for an afterparty. That’s part one of Toge’s plan. Part two is hooked around his arm in a shopping bag. He slipped away while his friends were on missions so he could buy their graduation gifts. As long as he gets back before they do, they won’t even know he was gone- which means they won’t suspect a thing.

He’s inches from the train station when he sees it. Across the street, a girl puddled on the street outside of an apartment building, shaking and crying. 

All of Toge’s senses leap when he sees her. There’s a reflex that comes with sorcery, one that doesn’t have to do with cursed energy at all: the ability to recognize the behavior of a person who has just encountered their very first curse. There’s really only one thing that can explain that brand of panic, Toge has learned. It’s like looking at a terrible, grisly wound- the person’s basest survival instincts showing through like a bone.

Toge didn’t even have to say anything to her. He bent down and put a hand on her shoulder, and the whole story came spilling out. 

“The elevator,” she gasps. “Something’s wrong with it. Something’s really wrong with it and nobody believes me.” 

Toge waited patiently as she swiped at her tears, hoping for a bit more info. Eventually, she tells Toge that every day she gets back to her apartment, hits the button for the fifth floor, and the second the doors close on her, she gets the most terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. The elevator rattles and hisses at her the whole ride up, and by the time she’s let off at her floor, she can’t believe that she’s survived the ordeal. It’s been getting worse for weeks, but today the fear was so strong that she couldn’t force herself to approach the elevator at all.

“I just couldn’t do it,” she cries. “It’s like if I got on, I died. I can’t explain it. I just knew something horrible would happen.” 

He wishes he could tell her she did the right thing- that her keenness probably saved her life- but she’ll have to settle for a smile and a little pat on the shoulder. Toge will take care of everything. 

He feels a little uneasy about simply waltzing into the lobby of the building, though, and not because he’s worried about the curse. There are strict rules about this sort of thing, especially for students. They’re not technically supposed to take on any missions without first alerting headquarters and waiting for a manager to arrive on the scene, but no one ever actually follows that rule. Just last week, Yuuta plucked a curse off a telephone pole and disposed of it before it could do any more harm. It’s just a matter of being proactive- cutting down a curse before it can fester into something worse. 

Toge’s mind is already made up. It’s not his favorite feeling in the world to go against the grain, but this seems like a worthy exception. This thing hasn’t killed anyone yet, but it could. 

Besides, what are the higher-ups going to do if they find out? Expel him a day before he graduates? Gojo would never let that happen. 

So he walks into the building with his head held high. He waits for the elevator and feels the telltale lick of cursed energy against the back of his neck as the doors seal shut. He presses the button for the fifth floor and rides almost all the way to the top.

He sees now what the girl meant. The curse has an excellent grasp of this thing, but not strong enough that it can’t be brought down. They’ve almost finished their ascent, somewhere between the fourth and fifth floor, when Toge tugs his face mask down and dispatches the command. The curse is fully exorcized within a heartbeat. 

And the elevator starts to plummet. 

Even reinforcing himself with cursed energy on the way down, Toge blacks out when the elevator finally slams into the ground floor. He hits the back of his head against something and comes to a few moments later lying on the floor of the elevator. 

Okay, so maybe this is why they’re supposed to bring managers with them.

Toge can’t help but wince as he hauls himself back up, blood rushing to his head and eyes brimming with stars. He’s still waiting for his brain to come back online when the elevator dings and unceremoniously opens back up to the lobby. At least one of them got through this ordeal unscathed. Admittedly, Toge values his life at least a little more than he would this random elevator’s, but he supposes he doesn’t have much say in the matter. 

He scrambles to his feet, smoothing his clothes and retrieving his shopping bags. It’s better if he gets out of here before anyone realizes that anything was amiss. He makes it out the front doors and–

Fuck. The rain has started, and not by a little. It’s raining so hard that it’s practically dark outside and Toge could swear that the temperature has dropped at least twenty degrees. It’s freezing. 

The girl from earlier is gone though, at least. Hopefully she found somewhere safe to collect herself and wait out the bad weather. She’ll find that all of her problems are gone when she gets back later tonight. It’s probably about time Toge starts worrying about himself instead. He pulls out his phone and shoots off a quick text to the group chat. 

Anybody know what manager is on call rn? 

He doesn’t even wait for an answer before scrolling through his contacts and finding Nitta’s number, figuring she’s the most likely to be sympathetic to his situation. He’ll be tattling on himself, but that’s probably for the best. It’s better than him trying to get home on his own in this condition. 

It’s a good enough plan, except that the phone never actually rings. All Toge gets is a dial tone. He pulls the phone away from his ear and frowns at it, only to see that his text bounced back to him as well. 

What the fuck? He’s in the center of Tokyo. The reception should be stronger here than anywhere else in the world. 

The rain starts leaving little droplets on Toge’s phone as he squints down at the glowing screen. This can’t be right. His phone is making it look like this is more than just a coverage issue. He’s having trouble finding service because he’s not even connected to service. 

Toge lets out an exasperated sigh. Their cellphones are school-issued. Someone at Jujutsu Tech must have fucked up with the phone plan. Of all the fucking times. 

It’s fine. Toge is fine, and he’ll just take the train like he originally planned. Apparently nothing plans on going right for him today though, because Toge’s wallet is so waterlogged that he can’t even get his train pass to work. A stranger has to take pity on him and swipe him in. 

By some small mercy the train arrives as he does, but Toge can hardly be grateful for it when he’s freezing and wet and phoneless and- oh yeah, not to mention- just took a five story nosedive. He usually tries to stay positive, but today he can admit that being a sorcerer really is a deeply fucking unpleasant experience. 

It’s times like these that make Toge really miss his muff from first year. Yes, it was hard to clean and uncomfortably hot and sweaty for six months out of the year, but wow those other six months. Toge has never been warmer and cozier than when he was tucked safely into that stupid little teal scarf. Plus, it reminds him of a slightly simpler time- Yuuta arriving at school for the first time and the four of them turning into a little ragtag bunch of friends. 

Toge spends half the train-ride daydreaming about that scarf, wherever it is now. Probably stuffed into the back of his closet somewhere. He’ll stumble upon it when he starts packing, he figures. No one’s rushing them out of the dorms or anything, but Yuuta and Maki and Toge have been planning on getting a place together for ages now, and with Maki at the helm of the operation, the move will be sooner rather than later. She wants to start seeing places as soon as next week.  

As he switches trains, transferring to the rail line that’ll haul him back to school, Toge distracts himself with the idea of it. He crosses off potential neighborhoods in his mind, thinks of couch colors, toys with the idea of a housewarming party- anything to keep his brain busy so he can’t think too hard about the way his thoughts have started getting muddy and slow. The distraction technique is unfortunately too effective, so much so that Toge nearly misses his stop. He has to dash to make it to the door as it starts sliding shut, stumbling his way out of the train car. 

It takes an embarrassing amount of effort for him to regain his balance. Fuck, his head hurts. It’s so heavy it feels like he’s gonna fall over. He’d better find Yuuta quickly when he gets back to campus, or at the very least a bottle of tylenol.

Toge has just slipped under the protection of Tengen’s barrier when he realizes something. I hit my head. And then, more urgently, I probably have a concussion. 

Because Toge swears he’s walking towards the dorms. He’s walking towards the dorms and they’re not there. Jujutsu Tech may get destroyed and rebuilt on a biannual basis, but this is more than a little temporary disorientation. Toge literally can’t find anything. 

His heart rate starts creeping up as he walks deeper into campus. He’s bound to run into the main building eventually, right? Suddenly, Toge is doubting everything that’s happened over the past couple of hours. Maybe his phone was working. Maybe his train pass was functioning. Maybe it was Toge that was falling apart. He did his head pretty hard, after all. 

Toge’s big plan is to head straight for the infirmary when he finally lands in the main building, but he can’t help himself when he sees a cracked door and a light on at the end of the hallway. Gojo is still in his office. Finally someone who can help him. He doesn’t think twice about heading in that direction. 

Concussion, Toge reminds himself as he pushes the door open. 

The man standing behind that desk isn’t Satoru Gojo at all. He’s nearly as tall, and certainly as blessed with cursed energy, but he’s not Gojo. He’s got jet black hair and the slightest layer of stubble shadowing his face and a pair of thick-rimmed reading glasses. A full grown man. A full grown man that looks exactly like–

“Yuuta?” 

Toge knows with certainty he’s no longer in control of his faculties once that name sails out of his mouth. He’s usually so careful with his words. He never misspeaks like that. 

Of course that isn’t Yuuta. Toge saw Yuuta this morning, and last time Toge checked, Yuuta doesn’t even own a razor- that’s how completely unable he is to grow facial hair. And glasses? It’s not even funny how badly Toge needs to get his head checked. 

Especially because even after all that, he still can’t convince himself that it’s not his friend. The two different faces move the same way. The perpetually sunken patches beneath his eyes are an exact match. The lips, the hair, the set of his shoulders- it’s all Yuuta. 

Once he looks up there’s no longer any point in denying it. Toge is struck by cobalt. Those sad blue eyes could only belong to Yuuta Okkotsu. 

“T-Toge?” His voice cracks as he speaks, slightly deeper than Toge knows it to be. Raspier, maybe. “Toge, is that…” He trails off, too choked up to finish. There are actual tears in his eyes. Definitely Yuuta. “Is that really you?” 

Toge’s head is officially spinning. None of this makes any sense to him. Why is it so randomly and unreasonably cold out? Why aren’t the dorms where they’re supposed to be? Why is Yuuta… not Yuuta?

What the fuck is happening here? 

“Where have you been?” Yuuta asks, desperate. “Toge, I looked for you. I looked everywhere.” 

Toge’s eyes drop down to his hand, only to find it empty. His shopping bags. He left them on the train. Not knowing how else to explain himself, he goes rooting around through his pocket and comes out with a handful of receipts. They’re soaked as well, ink sliding right off the shiny paper, but maybe they can answer Yuuta’s questions. Toge can’t really find his voice right now to explain it himself. 

He holds out the wad of paper but Yuuta won’t even look at it. His eyes are fixed on Toge. Toge would say he looks pale, but Yuuta always looks pale. Yuuta actually looks haunted. Years of fighting curses side by side and Toge has never seen Yuuta look so disturbed. 

Toge is still uselessly clutching his receipts when Yuuta pushes past the desk, closing the distance between them. When he reaches out to touch Toge’s shoulder, it’s with reverence, as if he doesn’t believe he’ll actually find purchase. Once they make contact, Yuuta doesn’t waste a second. He pulls Toge into an embrace tighter than Toge has ever experienced before and squeezes. 

“Takana?” Toge squeaks. 

“It’s really you,” Yuuta whispers. “You came back. You came back to us.” 

If Toge wasn’t already worried enough as it was, now he’s distressed. Yuuta isn’t making any sense right now. None of this makes any sense. Toge and Yuuta made breakfast together just this morning. Why is he acting like this? Why does he look like that? So solid against Toge’s skin, so tall he makes Toge feel like a child. 

“I can’t believe it,” Yuuta breathes. His hands rove over every inch of Toge’s back, his waist, his shoulders. Toge’s barely aware of it until Yuuta reaches for the back of his head. Toge winces when he feels it. He can’t help it. It’s not because Yuuta is touching him, but because the pain is so bad that his instincts couldn’t help but take over. 

Yuuta pulls back instantly. Toge stares at his face, traveling down the tracks of tears running down his cheeks. It takes him a long moment to see what Yuuta is seeing: spots of bright, watery red on Yuuta’s hand, just where he had been touching Toge’s wet hair. 

Blood. 

“It’s okay,” Yuuta assures, snapping back to himself. This is the Yuuta that Toge knows, the one that sets aside all of his anxieties the second he knows that someone is in peril- the second he knows he can help. “I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of you, just relax.” 

Dimly, Toge knows he should resist as Yuuta places his hands on either side of Toge’s face. Head injuries are serious business. Yuuta’s been training with Ieiri for a while now, but this is really the sort of thing they should go to her with. Toge doesn’t pull away, though. He feels the gentle spark of reversed cursed technique weaving through his skull, and he leans right into it. It feels too good to protest. 

“You came back,” Yuuta repeats. It’s the last thing Toge hears as his head falls against Yuuta’s chest. 

Big windows and a renovated kitchen. 

That was Toge’s list of demands when apartment hunting. Maki wanted a big closet at the entryway for storing cursed tools, and preferred a building with an attached gym. Yuuta claimed he was happy as long as they were happy, but wouldn’t mind if they were near a good train line, so it would be easy to get in and out of the city for missions and such. 

Toge was privately displeased by his friend’s conditions. They were sorcerer’s demands. Toge wanted big windows so he could grow plants and a well-stocked kitchen so he could make meals for everyone. He wanted a home. Yuuta and Maki just wanted a landing pad, a place to rest their heads between missions. 

He wanted to argue with them. He wanted to tell them to be more selfish. He wanted to scream at them to be something more than a sorcerer, but he never did. As always, Toge decided to speak with actions rather than words. He’d wait till they moved in, and then he’d show them. Their place didn’t have to be like the dorms they’ve been living in since they arrived. It could be more. 

When Toge opens his eyes, it’s just like he always dreamed it. A corner unit, with sunlight streaming in from two of the walls instead of one. Plush pillows and a big fluffy comforter. Soft white sheets against Toge’s skin. He’d love to live somewhere like this. 

He sits straight up in the bed. Toge would love to live somewhere like this, but he doesn’t. 

Toge can’t even remember the last time he woke up in a bed that wasn’t a cheap hotel mattress or the inside of a dorm room. He has no idea where he is. Not even half-asleep could he believe he lived somewhere as nice as this. 

Jesus, there’s wall-art, even. Not just posters and stuff, either. It’s curated, like someone was paid to come in and make this place look good. Toge would think he was in the master bedroom of some rich, fancy couple if not for the little desk in the corner. Toge pushes himself out of bed, drawn to it. There’s something on the corkboard hanging above it that he wants a better look at. 

The calendar is wrong. Toge can see if from all the way across the room. The month ends with -ember, not with -arch. He’s still half-asleep, so he’s not sure why, but it bothers him. If whoever lives here is so careful about keeping a nice apartment, they should at the very least keep their papers in order. 

It’s not till Toge’s up close that he sees it. This calendar doesn’t just say September. It says September of 2023. 

Toge’s not sure what kind of joke he’s just stumbled into, but it’s certainly an elaborate one. He yanks the offending calendar down off the wall, ready to march into the main room and demand answers, when he finally looks down. He’s wearing a fresh t-shirt and a pair of boxers he doesn’t recognize. It’s decidedly not what he was wearing when he fell asleep. 

Last night, Toge finally remembers. Rain storm. Concussion. Strangeness. Yuuta. 

A lot of things were wrong last night, but it was Yuuta that worried Toge most of all. He seemed totally distraught. Toge may have hit his head and all, but he barely even recognized Yuuta last night. It was like he was a completely different person. Still Yuuta, but Yuuta in a few–

Toge’s mind stalls. Yuuta, taller and broader and with more defined features. A calendar that says 2023. He shakes his head before he can try and connect those two pieces of information. It’s too crazy to waste another second on. 

The door creaks. Toge feels the cursed energy before he even sees Yuuta, just like that very first day he walked into their classroom. The sensation is not nearly as scary as it was the first time, but somehow no less gripping. 

“Toge?” he calls softly. “I heard… you’re awake?” 

One look at him is enough to make Toge’s heart sink. Seeing him last night was different. Toge’s head wasn’t right. His vision was fuzzy and he couldn’t be trusted to interpret things correctly. Now, his mind is clear. There’s no denying it. 

When Toge woke up yesterday morning, Yuuta didn’t look like that. 

He looks down at the calendar in his hand and tries not to tremble. No. He’s wrong. He has to be wrong. It doesn’t make any sense. 

“Why don’t you get dressed and we’ll talk.” 

Yuuta’s holding out Toge’s clothes from yesterday, freshly laundered and neatly folded. His eyes crinkle as he smiles at Toge in that gentle way of his. The soft, soothing tone he’s been using is entirely damning. He knows something Toge doesn’t, and it’s not good. 

He approaches Toge slowly- the way you’d try to get near an animal without spooking t- and slowly trades out the items in their hands. Toge releases the calendar against his will, even though the very thought of it makes him want to be sick 

“I’ll just be right in the other room,” Yuuta promises. “Take your time.” 

Time. 

The door clicks shut. Toge yanks on his pants and fumbles with the zipper. He runs a hand through his hair. This isn’t happening. It’s a dream, or a curse, or a domain, or something. It’ll be over any second. The illusion will shatter and Toge will feel absolutely foolish for getting himself worked up over this. 

Except that Toge has read so many mission reports. Gojo liked handing out copies of the stranger missions he and his fellow sorcerers have been on over the years, just to get discussions going about expecting the unexpected out in the field. Toge was never a better student than when he was reading those mission reports. He poured over the details, finding them endlessly fascinating and wishing Gojo would assign them more often. 

Now, Toge wishes he’d never picked one up. Then, he wouldn’t know that Iori Utahime and Mei Mei once went on a mission during Gojo’s school years that trapped them in a barrier for two whole days. He wouldn’t be thinking about the time Ino disappeared after a mission and showed up at the mission site two and a half weeks later with a stamp from the club he’d been to the night before his dispatch unsmudged and perfectly intact on the back of his hand. 

But those instances were a matter of days. It’s not the same thing. Toge tries to tell himself that as he walks to the door, ready to enter the main room, only to let his hand hover over the doorknob. This isn’t just any random apartment. This is Yuuta’s apartment. 

Toge swallows as he presses on, shoving that thought as far out of his mind as he possibly can. The idea that Yuuta has his own apartment- his own apartment without Toge- is too much for him to handle right now, especially when it might not even be true. 

But one look at the neat layout and the crisp, navy couch and chair confirms it for Toge immediately. There’s a katana case resting against the bench by the entry, and a white uniform jacket flung over the cushions haphazardly. The only thing here that’s amiss is the fact that Yuuta can barely manage to pour a bowl of cereal without spilling, but there’s somehow a skillet on the stove and the warm smell of browning toast radiating through the air. 

“Are you hungry?” Yuuta asks, totally casual. He acts as if Toge’s a regular here, completely used to sitting and eating a meal at his table. “You must be hungry.”

Actually, Toge’s stomach is twisted in knots, but he’s too entranced by the motions of Yuuta gliding around the kitchen to say anything about it. His broad shoulders strain against the back of his t-shirt as he drags the spatula through the pan, but the fabric hangs freely around his stomach, never actually touching his waist. It’s like watching fucking Captain America cook his breakfast. 

“I only got the bread yesterday, so it should be fresh still,” Yuuta continues, babbling. “And eggs are well, eggs, so. Should be good. I don’t really have anything to put on them, though. Salt, pepper. Maybe there’s ketchup in the fridge? Probably expired. I’m kind of bad with condiments. You know what? I’ll check the fridge, I might actually—“ 

“Yuuta.” 

Toge doesn’t give a shit about condiments right now. Yuuta reaches down and turns off the burner, shoulders slumping. 

“Hi,” he whispers back. “Yeah, yeah I know.”

He finally turns around, and Toge doesn’t recognize the look on his face- sheepish and pitying and guilty, all at once. All that, and his eyes are still shining as they look at Toge, a sun’s reflection over the ocean on a calm day. 

Toge looks pointedly at the kitchen island, where the receipts from last night have been carefully smoothed and laid out over the granite countertop. Yuuta follows his gaze and nods, understanding.

“Why don’t you go sit?” he says sweetly, tilting his head towards the couch. 

Toge doesn’t feel much like sitting, but his body moves anyway. He’s too unmoored right now to think for himself properly. He’s still completely in a daze as he perches himself on the edge of Yuuta’s couch. 

Is he dreaming? He really can’t tell. It’s all too bizarre, too absurd. Maki loves dissecting strange dreams. He wonders what she’d say about this one. She’d mention a detail of her own dream from the night before and Toge would one-up her. You think that’s crazy? Last night I had a dream that Yuuta was a fully-functioning adult with a nice, furnished apartment. And he cooked for me. She’d never stop laughing. 

Yuuta sits on the coffee table across from Toge, knees knocking together. They’re eye to eye. Why does that make Toge so nervous all of a sudden? 

“You went shopping?” Yuuta asks, referencing the receipts. Toge nods. “You went shopping… last night?”

Toge pauses before he nods again, quickening heart rate making it difficult for him to function properly. Of course last night. Why is Yuuta asking it like that?

“In March?” Yuuta asks, keeping his face smooth and unreadable. 

Toge opens his mouth to give an affirmative, but no sound comes out. He nods again, lips still parted. March 29th. Two days before graduation. 

“So, that’s a little strange,” Yuuta says, a nervous lilt to his voice, “Seeing that it’s January.” 

Toge feels his jaw open another half an inch. He blinks at Yuuta, hopelessly confused. No, it isn’t. 

“It’s January,” Yuuta repeats, “Of 2025.” 

No it isn’t. 

For a second, Toge almost laughs. This really is a dream. It’s a dream, and his mind is so twisty and convoluted that it can’t even keep the dates straight. The calendar Toge found earlier said 2023. He starts looking around the room furiously for his proof. It must be here somewhere. He spots it laying on the bench by the front door, right next to Yuuta’s katana case. Before he can even consider standing up to go get it, Yuuta holds out a hand and stops him.  

“The calendar is wrong. I haven’t changed it since I moved in. Here,” he says, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. “Look at the date. It’s right there, okay?” 

Toge grabs for the phone greedily, half expecting it to burst into flames or disintegrate in his hands. Instead, the weight settles into his palm, as real as anything.

Saturday, January 13

He looks back up at Yuuta, startled. Can he trust this? 

“What did you do after you went shopping?” Yuuta asks carefully. “Did you… was there a curse, maybe?” 

Toge’s eyes slam back to the phone, too guilty to continue looking directly at Yuuta. Yes, there was a curse. A curse Toge knew better than to take on alone, without informing anyone, and for some stupid reason, decided to anyway. It felt terrible and wrong right from the very first second. Why didn’t he just follow protocol? Toge always follows protocol. It’s why Kusakabe recommended him for a promotion to first grade when he was still just fifteen. Because he is a letter perfect sorcerer. 

Until yesterday, when he made one little slip up. Could the universe really have punished him this swiftly? This severely? To catapult him five whole years— 

That’s not right, though. It’s not quite five years. It’s been almost five years. 

Just like how Toge fell almost five floors. 

And then he walked outside, where the weather was radically different and the sun had set prematurely. The girl from just a minute earlier was nowhere to be found. His phone had been disconnected from service. His subway card- it didn’t just stop working, it expired. The fucking dorms were gone.

Toge was just in such fierce denial that he didn’t notice. Even when he saw that Yuuta had aged five full years he couldn’t quite make the leap. He saw the calendar and he still didn’t believe it. 

The curse sealed Toge within a barrier when he entered the elevator. That’s why it was so easy to exorcize it. All of its power had been devoted to disrupting time. 

His head feels so heavy when he nods solemnly at Yuuta, so weighed down by guilt that he can barely move it. Yuuta’s eyes well up with tears again. 

“You just disappeared,” he says breathlessly. “I got back from a mission and you were just… gone. We couldn’t get a hold of you. Nobody even knew where you went.” 

Shopping. Toge went shopping. It feels so unbelievably foolish now. He thought he was doing something nice. He just wanted to surprise his friends with some stupid trinkets, that’s all. He was supposed to be back before they even knew he was gone. 

“We looked everywhere,” Yuuta tells him. “That first month, that whole first year. God, even after.” There’s so much pain in his voice. “Everyone thought… they all kept saying that you were…” Yuuta can’t say it, but Toge knows what he means. 

They all thought Toge was dead. 

They all thought Toge was dead for five years. 

Something in Toge snaps. He grabs Yuuta’s phone and punches in the passcode, never doubting for a second that it could be different. 0307 lets him right in, just as it always has. Yuuta has never had anything to hide. 

He clicks into Yuuta’s phone log and starts scrolling, but he doesn’t find what he’s looking for right away. He switches into the contacts tabs. Halfway through the alphabet, and he still hasn’t found who he’s looking for. Fuck. He’ll have to go to the very end. He reaches the Z’s, and it’s still nowhere to be found. He folds and goes up to the search engine, plunking in the first name. He needs to let her know that he’s okay. 

No results for “Maki” 

Toge’s heart drops. No. That can’t be real. 

But it’s been five years, and the shelf life on a sorcerer is shorter than a box of snack crackers. Five years. A lot could have happened, even to the strongest person Toge knows. 

His hand starts to shake first, but it’s the rest of his body in no time. He’s been successful at keeping all of his building panic beneath the surface, but this is the moment where it all breaks through. Toge can’t control himself. He can’t take in a breath. His throat and eyes start to burn, already stuck with tears. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. 

“Toge?” Yuuta asks, clearly concerned. “Toge, what is it?” 

He doesn’t even have the awareness to feel Yuuta muscle out of the phone out of his hand. His vision is too cloudy, and his limbs have gone numb. 

Maki is gone. Toge disappeared, and Maki is gone.

“Toge, no.” Yuuta grabs him by the shoulders. “No, no- she’s okay. She’s alive. She’s alive, okay? She’s fine, I promise.” 

It takes a moment for Toge to recognize the sob that rings out as his own. He’s never made a noise like that before, but suddenly he’s crying so violently that he pitches forward, forehead reaching Yuuta’s chest. His arms wrap around Toge’s back, pulling him right in. He even scooches in a little closer to accommodate Toge as his body starts to crumble. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry you thought that for even a second.” 

Toge sobs into Yuuta’s t-shirt and Yuuta rubs his back as he lets it all out. He’s not sure what’s come over him. He’s never cried like this before in his life, but the idea of losing Maki- of losing any of his friends- is too much for him to handle. They’re his family. Maki was perhaps the very first person to make Toge feel at home in his whole life. 

“I got a new phone recently, that’s all,” Yuuta explains. “And Maki… well, she’s not exactly talking to me at the moment, but–” 

Toge pulls away abruptly, so disturbed by that statement that it stops his tears instantly. Why aren’t Maki and Yuuta talking? That’s insane. Toge, Maki, Panda, Yuuta… they’re family. They’re all each other has. 

“It’s a long story, okay?” Yuuta tries to smile, but Toge sees right through it. “Dont worry about it.” 

There’s nothing that could make Toge worry more. Their world can be so bleak and so uncertain. If they don’t have each other to fall back on, what else is there? 

Yuuta must see the concern in Toge’s face, because he rubs his thumb in a little circle above Toge’s shoulder blade, gently coaxing the tension away. 

“Hey,” he says softly. This time, the smile is real. “This is a miracle, Toge. You’re here now. That’s all that matters. So please don’t cry. If you cry, I’m gonna cry too, and then you’ll never get me to stop.”

Toge sniffles and shakes out a raspy laugh. He brings his fingers to his cheek, feeling the wetness of tears. He’s so overwhelmed. He’s not sure he’s fully processed a single thing Yuuta has said to him in the last few minutes. The ramifications are too great. 

Five years. So much will have changed. Toge’s head is absolutely spinning. 

“We’ll figure it out,” Yuuta promises. “I’ll get a hold of Maki, of everyone. Here, I’ll call Megumi right now and he’ll put me in touch with–” 

The phone in Yuuta’s hand interrupts them with a blaring siren noise. It could only mean one thing, and they both know it.

“Shit,” Yuuta exclaims. “I don’t have to take it.” 

He sounds half-hearted at best. Toge has never known Yuuta to turn down a mission. He probably doesn’t even know how. 

“Okaka,” Toge speaks up, shaking his head. He won’t have Yuuta turning down a mission for his sake. He tries to be resolute, but Yuuta’s face stretches into a crooked, wobbly smile. 

“Would it be so weird if I asked you to say that again?” His grin stretches out. “Or like, anything for that matter?” 

Toge feels his cheeks start to heat up, suddenly self-conscious. It’s really been that long since anyone has heard him speak. Will anyone even recognize the onigiri language after all this time?

“Sujiko,” Toge mutters, trying to shift Yuuta’s focus back to the task at hand. Yuuta sighs as he looks down at the phone in his hand. 

“Seriously,” he levels, “I can get Gojo to take the mission. It’s not a big deal.” 

Gojo. Another person that will have missed Toge over the last five years. Another person that Toge will have to re-meet. 

Suddenly, it all starts to feel like too much. Maybe this mission is a blessing. Toge could use a little time to get himself sorted before he sees everyone, just to adjust. He’s only had one reunion so far, and it was enough for him to dissolve into tears. Yuuta will go on this mission, and Toge will get his shit together. 

“Okaka,” he reiterates. Yuuta is going, no matter what. 

“If you’re sure,” Yuuta tells him, dubious. 

Toge nods. He’s so sure, in fact, that without even thinking, he does what he always does when Yuuta goes off on a mission. The thing he’s learned to do automatically. 

He pitches forward and kisses Yuuta right on the lips. 

It’s already too late by the time Toge realizes what he’s done. It’s not that he’s just kissed Yuuta, it’s that he’s kissed twenty-three year-old Yuuta, and that somehow feels very, very different. 

The little bits of heat Toge felt beneath his cheeks earlier turn into full blown furnaces, no doubt scorching his entire face red in an instant. Even when he jolts backwards, squirming into the couch cushions to get away, he still feels too close for comfort. Yuuta’s eyes are still all over him. There’s no escaping the way he’s looking at Toge right now, startled and cautious and fuck- even more handsome now than he used to be. 

Toge hadn’t quite let himself process that bit earlier, because it means that his once harmlessly hopeless crush on Yuuta is now excruciatingly hopeless, and Toge has just kissed him on the lips. 

This is what they do though. When they accidentally triggered the sigils on Yuuta’s face that day when they played spin the bottle, they realized that Yuuta could copy cursed speech on one condition. If Toge and Yuuta had kissed in the last day or two, Yuuta could pull the sigils up at will. It quickly became a little habit of theirs. A little peck, right before Yuuta headed out, just to make sure he’d have an added layer of protection. Almost like a little good luck charm. Not an actual kiss. 

He’s mortified. This is the worst thing he could have done. Yuuta hasn’t seen Toge in five years and Toge just kisses him? 

“Thank you,” Yuuta says in a light tone. “That was very… sweet of you.” 

Sweet. Toge wishes that this stupidly chic and annoyingly comfortable couch of Yuuta’s would part at the seams and swallow him whole. Yuuta notices his peril too, which makes it even worse. 

“I appreciate it!” he assures. “It’s just been so long since I could depend on getting to use that. I guess I like to think I don’t need a safety net like that anymore? I’m pretty strong these days, if you can believe it.” 

Oh. 

Well, yes, Toge can believe it. Message received, though. Yuuta doesn’t need Toge’s aid before missions anymore. Of course he doesn’t. Toge remembers their first kiss, and he supposes that now he remembers their last, too. He nods and stares down at his knees, unable to keep looking Yuuta in the eye after embarrassing himself like that.

“Hey,” he says to Toge softly, “Look up.” 

Toge’s neck snaps up, just in time to the sigils fading off of Yuuta’s cheeks. He’s used the technique. He still wants to use the technique. 

“I like using cursed speech,” Yuuta tells him. “Reminds me of you.” 

At this rate, Toge is never going to stop blushing. 

“Is that okay?” 

Toge nods dumbly, distracting himself by picking at the fibers of Yuuta’s fancy couch. It’s okay. Of course it’s okay. 

Yuuta can drive. The most nervous wreck of a person Toge has ever met is willingly operating a motor vehicle. He’s fully-licensed. He owns a car. 

This world that Toge has found himself in gets stranger and stranger by the second. An afternoon dicking around on Yuuta’s laptop told him that almost no news headlines made sense to him, and the ones that did make sense to him were ones that he did not have any particular interest in reading. There’s really only one thing Toge is interested in right now.

“We don’t have to do this, you know,” Yuuta says, one hand on the wheel. “If it’s too much?” 

Toge shakes his head quickly when Yuuta takes his eyes off the road to gauge his reaction. They do have to do this. Toge wants to do this. It would be utterly cruel for Toge to gather everyone and then not show up after all this time. It was utterly cruel for him to disappear on them in the first place. 

As promised, Yuuta called Megumi the second he got back, and after some awkward phone shuffling and Toge posing for a very uncomfortable proof of life picture, Nobara had made reservations at some restaurant between the city and campus. No one saw any reason to wait. Toge still can’t believe that they don’t all just live in the same place anymore, that they have to go somewhere instead of just meeting in the common room. 

They’re getting close now, so Toge slips a privacy mask out of his pocket and onto his face. He doesn’t love going out in public without it, especially somewhere he doesn’t know. Maybe he should have asked Yuuta to have this at his apartment or something. 

Yuuta circles the block and makes a face. “There’s a garage a few blocks away,” he explains. “Why don’t you get out now and I’ll meet you in a few minutes? I don’t want to keep you from everyone.” 

“Shake,” Toge tells him, grateful. He’s more anxious about this than he means to be and all the build-up is only making matters worse. He just wants to hurry up and see everyone. 

Yuuta drops him on the curb and gives him specific instructions of where to go once he’s inside the restaurant, telling him all about the table they usually sit at. Toge feels a pang at that as he gets out of the car. If they have a usual table, that would mean they’re all regulars here. All of the most important people in Toge’s life are regulars at a place he’s never even been to before. 

How many other little things like this have they accumulated over the years, he wonders? How many inside jokes has Toge missed out on over the years? How many holidays, birthdays, vacations? Trips, meals, days off? How many missions? What will they have all lived through together that Toge can never hope to fully understand? 

He makes it to the doorway of the restaurant. He has every intention of going inside, but his feet don’t quite make it over the threshold. Instead, his eyes go to the back corner where Yuuta promised he’d be able to find his friends. 

Everyone’s laughing and smiling, chatting and sipping off of drinks in tall glasses. Beers. Toge’s never tasted beer before. They’re all intertwined, too. Maki’s arm is slung around Nobara’s shoulder, Yuuji is leaning all of his weight into Megumi’s body and resting a hand on his thigh. He only sees a flash of them, but it’s all Toge really needs to see.

They all look so happy. 

There’s a twitching at Toge’s chest as it starts to tighten. He can’t breathe. He stumbles backwards and lets his feet carry him down the street in the nearest direction. He doesn’t know why, but he can’t go in there. He can’t handle seeing everybody. Nausea hits him as the wind touches his cheeks, so violent that he can barely see straight. He doesn’t care. He keeps running. 

Being a sorcerer isn’t an easy thing. The wear of constant missions is more than physical. It’s emotional. It’s rare that a sorcerer is assigned to a curse without an extraordinary amount of bad occurring first. They work through every breed of tragedy, and they don’t have the luxury of time to process it before diving into the situation head first. 

Toge is used to that. He made his peace with it a long time ago. He was raised for it. He learned quickly after starting at Jujutsu Tech that those missions were just the beginning of the tragedies he would face in his life there. 

Sorcerers have a short shelf-life. 

It became obvious to Toge that there would be people in his life who would die very young, often with no warning at all. He accepted that he would lose friends. He could make plans for the future with them, but in the back of his mind there was always a voice that reminded him he couldn’t completely count on it. Anyone could be ripped away from him forever at a moment’s notice. He couldn’t take anything for granted. 

Never in Toge’s wildest dreams did he dare to imagine that every single one of his friends would survive five full years after graduation. 

They’ve had five good years together. Five years with no deaths, no permanent losses. Five years of hanging out at the local cafe and making memories instead of checking off bucket lists. They’ve had five good years- five good years without Toge. 

What is this feeling he’s experiencing? What is this grief? He should be happy. His friends have defied all the odds and stayed alive. They’re right here where Toge left them. He’s here now. They’re all waiting for him. So why can’t he face them? Why is it that the only thing he wants to do is cry? 

He’s already a few minutes away before he realizes that not only does he not know where he’s going, he can’t go anywhere. He’s a ghost, practically. His legal records were sparse to begin with, and now they’re all but obsolete. No one’s gonna look at him and believe he’s twenty three. He doesn’t have a phone that works. He doesn’t have a place to live. He probably doesn’t even have a bank account anymore. 

Toge has never considered himself to be someone who was incredibly attached to his possessions or anything- most sorcerers live sparsely, especially the ones in his clan- but now the realization that he has nothing to his name is soul-crushing. It’s not just that he has no things, it’s that he has no freedom. 

The weight of it hits him all at once. There’s a little park between blocks up ahead and staggers over to a bench, completely out of breath. He’s been panicking all day, but even then, he’s managed to keep most of it under the surface. That’s what he’s been trained all his life to do, after all- stay calm, assess the situation and proceed as best he can with the information provided to him. 

But all of the logic, all of the solidness, has chosen this moment to leave Toge’s body. It’s too much. He can’t breathe. He can’t even– 

“Hey runt!” Someone is calling out to him from the street. “You really weren’t even gonna say hello?” 

Toge's head snaps up, yanked out of its torment in a second. It’s a voice he knows well- a voice he’d know anywhere. His first friend.

He was stupid to think Maki wouldn’t be able to track him down in a matter of seconds. The whole heavenly restriction thing works in ways Toge couldn’t hope to properly grasp. The idea that humans leave other traces behind- something other than just cursed energy- is something he can’t wrap his head around at all. Maki probably didn’t even have to try in order to find him.

She stands a few feet away, hand rested on her hip as she pops it out to one side. It’s a pose Toge has seen hundreds, if not thousands of times.

“Keeping with the reckless streak, I see,” Maki says with a grin. “Didn’t know you had it in you to be such a rebel.”

Maki isn’t like Yuuta. She hasn’t changed at all since Toge saw her last. All of her great changes happened during school, and save for some added shaggy length to her hair, she looks exactly as she always did. It’s such a comfort to Toge that he feels his eyes well up with tears immediately. 

It’s not just that she looks the same, it’s that she hasn’t changed. She’s still treating him the same way she always has. Yuuta, on the other hand, has been grazing Toge with the carefullest of fingers all day. Toge is nothing more than a bird with a broken wing cupped safely in the crook of Yuuta’s palm, a fragile thing that needs to be protected and shielded from the world. Toge can’t say he doesn’t understand Yuuta’s inclination to treat him that way. He’s certain he’d be acting the same way if the roles had been reversed. He’d do anything to protect Yuuta’s feelings. 

It isn’t until he hears Maki’s easy tone- so casual and wonderfully familiar- that he understands how wrong that instinct is. As much as he’d like to be protected from the harsh realities of his situation, what he needs more than anything right now is any shred of normalcy he can get his hands on. Maki’s voice is like an anchor. If there is one constant Toge can always depend on, apparently, it’s Maki’s cutting sarcasm.

Toge hiccups a little laugh and Maki smiles, victorious. 

“Get the fuck over here,” she requests, and suddenly, Toge has the strength to make it to his feet again. 

They all but crash into each other, and Toge lets himself fall into Maki’s arms. They’re as ridiculously strong and sturdy as ever. Suddenly, Toge understands why Yuuta held him so tight last night. He understands that desperation. He couldn’t fully understand the toll that five years of separation could put on a person until right now.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you, you know,” Maki reports cheerfully, tightening her grip. “You have no idea how badly you scared me. Seriously Toge, a lot of bad shit has happened to me in my life, but you being gone? How was I ever supposed to get over that? Especially when you didn’t leave a single fucking trace?” 

Toge blubbers incoherently into Maki’s shoulder. Even if he had a word in his vocabulary that could accurately express how profoundly sorry he was, he wouldn’t be able to get it out right now. 

“Stop apologizing,” she says fiercely. “Just don’t ever fucking do that to me again.” 

“Shake,” Toge manages, shaking his head. 

Maki sighs, pulling away abruptly. “Speaking of, you’d better call him.”

He tilts his head at her, slightly lost. 

“You don’t have to eat with us if you don’t want to, but you do have to call Yuuta before he realizes you never made it through the door and–” 

“Oh thank god,” Yuuta pants, rounding the corner. He clearly sprinted the whole way here. “You scared the fucking shit out of me.” 

He doubles over on himself, bringing a hand to his heart to slow the beating. It’s strange, but Toge finds that he looks the most himself in this state as he has this entire time, sweating and stressed out as all hell. Toge shouldn’t find that comforting, but Yuuta is to stress as Maki is to sarcasm. Those features are so intertwined with their personalities that Toge can’t help but feel the deepest kind of affection for them. 

“You can’t just…” Yuuta gasps, still trying to catch his breath. “You can’t just…” 

“Disappear,” Maki finishes for him. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it, but Toge, we’ve been living in a nightmare for the past five years. Please don’t leave us wondering where you are again.” 

Toge burns with shame. He hadn’t considered that, not at all. Worse, he ran away because he was picturing them having such a good time without him, as if that wasn’t exactly what he’d hoped they’d do instead of sitting around and being miserable. Now, it sounds like there was more of the latter than Toge had initially thought. 

Yuuta stares at Maki, baffled. “Did you seriously just… agree with me?” 

Maki reaches out and gives the back of his head a smack. “Don’t make a big deal out of it or I’ll change my mind,” she grumbles. “I owe you an apology, though. You were right this whole time.” 

Now it’s Toge’s turn to be baffled. Maki Zen’in, apologizing? They both stare at her with wide-eyes, completely bewildered. 

“You idiots,” she scoffs. “Yuuta, get over here.” 

Yuuta stands straight up, spooked like a cat, before tentatively walking over and joining the hug. Even with Maki’s height, Yuuta still towers over them both, and he tugs them both in, one under each of his arms. 

As the three of them embrace, Toge feels like himself for the first time since he walked out of that elevator. 

The dorms burned down six months after graduation. 

Actually, they were yeeted by a rogue blast of hollow purple, but same difference. They rebuilt them on the other side of campus, opting this time to keep them a tad further away from the entrance, so they wouldn’t be the first building an intruder reached if they came down the main street leading to the school. That particular decision reeks of Satoru Gojo’s influence. Clearly, none of the old higher-ups would have cared about a detail like that. 

They hadn’t moved Toge’s belongings out of his dorm room yet at that point. They still had hope that he’d come back, and were hoping to leave everything untouched, which means everything Toge once owned is gone. 

He tries to feel sad about it, but he finds he can’t. He’s got all the pictures he printed out and stuck to his wall on his now-brick of a phone, so they aren’t lost. He can get a new uniform, new electronics, new bedding. Other than a few vintage pieces that he’d scored in thrift stores, it can all be replaced. If anything, it’s an excuse to go shopping, and he’ll give Nobara a call as soon as he gets settled. He’ll have a new wardrobe in a half hour with her on the job.

They don’t go to dinner that night after all. Instead, Maki recommends they let their once-underclassman entertain themselves for the night and head back to the school. They’d always planned on going there afterwards, so Toge could see Panda. 

Just the family tonight, Maki had said with a wink. 

Panda is good. He complains about being a child of divorce after Maki and Yuuta started fighting. Apparently, about two years ago Maki threw up her hands and told Yuuta it was time to move on. She drew a line in the sand, and told Yuuta if he wanted to be in her life, he needed to start living his own instead of holding a space for Toge. 

She seems sheepish about admitting to that, having been proven wrong, but Toge’s actually grateful to her for trying. They all know how reluctant Yuuta is to accepting certain fates. Rika’s manifestation is tangible proof of that. Toge is certain that if anyone could have coaxed Yuuta out of his grief, it would have been Maki. He would have come around eventually, if Toge hadn’t. Yuuta needed every push Maki could give him. 

Still, the idea of him being all alone for the last couple of years makes Toge’s heart ache. Yuuta isn’t the type of person who should be alone for too long. He’s at his best when he’s surrounded with the people he cares about. Thinking about him alone in that big apartment, without the ability to call Toge or Maki if he got lonely makes Toge unbelievably sad. He finds himself looking over at Yuuta all the time, almost as if he was checking for scars- for proof that Yuuta really survived the ordeal. 

That, and Toge has never really had an easy time taking his eyes off of Yuuta to begin with. It was bad enough before Yuuta went and got even hotter, and now it’s nearly impossible. Toge has to shake his mind away from that thought constantly. 

There’s one other person to say hello to before they leave campus for the night, and he’s just gotten back from a mission.

“Toge!” he yells at top volume. “You’re alive!” 

Apparently, turning thirty and some change hasn’t slowed Satoru down at all. He’s thirty-five and picks Toge up like he’s a little ragdoll and spins him around. It’s a over the top, but Toge manages to laugh through the terror. He feels like Simba. 

“If I had a nickel for every time one of my students came back to life,” Satoru says in a funny voice, finally returning him to the ground, “I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t very much, but it’s still weird that it happened twice!” 

Toge cocks a brow at him, and Maki rolls her eyes. “Do yourself a favor and don’t listen to a single thing this geezer says.” 

Satoru’s jaw drops in outrage, and his first class of students has a laugh at his expense- the five of them reunited for the first time in what must be years. Toge realizes he can never take these encounters for granted ever again. 

Their teacher has never been much for small talk, so he cuts to the chase quickly. He retained control over Toge’s financials after his disappearance and assumed-death, and he can get them back in order as soon as tomorrow. They’ll issue him a new cell phone as well, since it’s standard for all active sorcerers to have the latest model, but he wants Toge to take it slow and not return to missions right away. 

Toge’s a bit pouty about the idea of that, because maybe it wasn’t yesterday for them, but Toge was fighting curses just a day ago. He doesn’t like the idea of being benched for any reason. Still, he could probably use a few days to get his life in order and get his head on straight, so he agrees to Satoru’s wishes. He figures even if he doesn’t, Satoru will just manipulate the missions so Toge doesn’t get any anyway, so it’s probably pointless to resist. 

That just leaves one matter, and it’s the one thing Toge wants to think about least of all. Yesterday, it was the one part of his future that Toge had all figured out. Now, he has absolutely no idea what he’ll do. 

Maki drives them back off-campus. Apparently, she refuses to get in a car that Yuuta is driving, which is a sentiment that Toge can’t help but laugh about. He understands where she’s coming from- Yuuta has nervous driver written all over him- but Toge thought he was actually pretty smooth earlier. He doesn’t mind having Yuuta’s attention for a bit while she drives. Just to tweak her, they both sit in the backseat, sort of like she’s chauffeuring them. 

Toge steals Yuuta’s phone and gets to work, typing out a little message in the notes app. 

Do you mind me staying with you for a little while? Or should I go back to the dorms?  

That’s what Toge dreads most: finding a place to live. His dream of living in a three bedroom with Maki and Yuuta is long dead, whether he wants to accept it or not. He’ll have to start looking for a place, and soon. He can’t just sleep in Yuuta’s bed forever. It was nice of Yuuta to offer it last night when Toge was out of sorts from the RCT, but it’s not a permanent solution. 

Yuuta leans over and squints at the glowing phone screen. “Find a place?” he asks. “No… Toge, you don’t have to do that.” 

I can’t crash on your couch forever, Toge types back- because he will be sleeping on the couch if he goes back to Yuuta’s apartment tonight. He won’t put Yuuta out, especially when Yuuta has important missions to be taking and Toge doesn’t. 

The car is slowing to a stop, pulling effortlessly into a parking spot at the end of the street, so Yuuta blinks a couple of times and shakes his head. 

“Let’s talk about this later, okay? When we get home tonight?” 

Home. Yuuta’s home. Not Toge’s. 

Toge shakes his head, mustering up as much cheer as he can before following Yuuta on to the street. Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara decided to wait up for them, just in case Toge changed his mind later on and wanted to meet up with them after all. He’s glad they did. Toge feels remarkably more settled than he did a couple of hours ago. 

There’s one unexpected consequence to this decision: the trio, once Toge’s baby underclassmen, had nothing to do to keep them occupied while they were waiting besides order drinks, which apparently they did. Lots of them. 

“Man of the hour!” Yuuji cheers as Toge walks in, voice at least three notches too loud for the space they’re in. 

“Toge!” Nobara croons. 

Megumi melts into his turtleneck, too flushed for just simple embarrassment, but trying not to be associated with his raucous friends.

“Get him a drink!” Yuuji shouts. “He needs a drink! He needs two drinks!” 

“Oh my god, Yuuji,” Nobara says, aghast. She grabs one of Yuuji’s shoulders and shakes him from side to side. “He’s eighteen. You’re a terrible fucking influence.” 

Toge blinks. It somehow had not occurred to him that his underclassmen are now older than him. They’re of legal drinking age and are, clearly, taking full advantage of it. Toge will be four years younger than them forever, which is an impossibly weird thought. 

“Say it a little louder, why don’t you,” Maki mutters under her breath, referring to Nobara’s volume levels, which are quickly approaching Yuuji’s. She shoots Toge an apologetic look. “They’re never gonna serve you here now.” 

“I have real trouble imagining Toge tipsy,” Yuuta interjects. 

“He’ll probably be even more of a menace than usual, so watch out,” Maki tells him with a wink. Then she turns straight to Toge. “But you’re not drinking for another year and a half, so don’t get any big ideas.”

“Oh, not a drop,” Yuuta agrees quickly, grinning like an idiot. 

Toge’s jaw drops in mock-outrage, but secretly, he’s thrilled to see the two of them in on a joke together. The bridge is mending. 

They keep the night short, just a few snacks and some easy chatter. It’s a shockingly normal affair. So normal in fact, that Toge feels relaxed enough that he doesn’t fight a series of yawns pulling at his jaw. He’s tired. It’s been sort of a long day for him. Maki promises to make sure everyone gets home okay and encourages Yuuta to go ahead and take Toge home for the night. 

Home. Selfishly, Toge sort of wishes everyone would stop using that word. He doesn’t really have a home right now. He waits patiently for Yuuta to bring that up on the way back to his place, but he doesn’t. They drive in perfect silence. 

“Attached garage,” Yuuta says as they pull into his parking spot. “Good feature.” 

Toge nods. 

“It’s close to a good train station too,” Yuuta adds. “So, you know. Options.” 

Sounds ideal. Yuuta probably travels a lot, so easy access to central stations is a must. Parking at the airport would be sort of a pain, too. School is a lot easier to get to by car, though, so it makes sense to have both. 

Yuuta ushers them both into the elevator and starts pointing at some of the buttons. “There’s a gym on the top floor, it’s super nice. Has a pool and everything.” He moves up a level. “And there’s a rooftop terrace. There’s lots of greenery there, almost like a little garden. I never go up there without thinking about how much you’d like it. We can check it out tomorrow, when it’s light out. It’s better in the daylight.”

Toge nods eagerly. That’s nice of him to offer- even nicer, that he’s been keeping Toge in mind like that. Toge always liked the well-kept grounds at Jujutsu Tech. Clearly, Yuuta noticed. 

“Honestly, the whole neighborhood is really good,” Yuuta continues, filling the dead air in the elevator. “There’s a really nice park nearby, too. Some good running routes. Oh, and a bakery down the street! That’s where I got the bread from this morning? But they do cakes and stuff, too, we’ll definitely have to go down there tomorrow as well.” 

Ah, Toge realizes. Yuuta probably moved in here around the time Maki cut him off. He probably hasn’t gotten to show it off to anyone yet. He wants to brag a little bit about his new digs. It’s sweet how excited he is to share it all with Toge. Maybe not the best timing, considering Toge’s situation, but Toge is happy for him, truly. Yuuta works really hard. He deserves luxuries like this. 

He starts thumbing a code into his door- no key, a keypad- and lets them both in. 

“Oh! And there’s a doorman, did I mention that?” he continues, speaking more rapidly. “Oh, oh, oh- and get this.” He brandishes a set of switches on the wall. “Heated floors! Heated floors, Toge. Heated floors.” 

Yuuta is officially rambling, and Toge is officially confused. Yuuta only rambles when he’s nervous about something, and since when does Yuuta give a shit about heated floors? It’s not like he runs cold or anything. In fact, if anyone was going to appreciate heated floors it would be–

Oh. 

Yuuta doesn’t run cold. But Toge does. 

“It’s a nice place, right? Good amenities, great location, nice layout.” Yuuta kicks at his door frame nervously. “So I guess what I’m saying is, um...” 

They stare at each other dumbly, both of them both very uncertain and completely sure of what Yuuta is going to say next. 

“Move in with me?” 

Toge opens his mouth but no sound comes out. He hadn’t actually decided on anything to say. He’s drawing a complete blank. 

So Yuuta wasn’t saying all that on the way up to brag about his new place, after all. He was selling Toge on it. 

But Toge, live here? In Yuuta’s apartment? It’s nice of him to offer, really it is, but Toge can’t possibly ask that of him. This is so clearly his space. He shouldn’t have to make room for–

“It’s two bedrooms!” Yuuta blurts. “I should’ve led with that.” 

He points at the door to the room Toge woke up in this morning. 

“That’s actually your bedroom,” he explains. “I mean, it was always meant to be your bedroom. I wanted it to be ready for you… you know, just in case.” 

The decorations, the nice sheets, the calendar. Yuuta used to come into Toge’s room and flip the pages for him back when they lived in the dorm, since Toge so often forgot. Toge had noticed that the room was all done up, he just hadn’t realized it was all done up for him. Maki really meant it when she said Yuuta wasn’t able to let go. 

“I never gave up on you, Toge,” Yuuta says, sounding more settled than he has all night. “I always believed you were coming back.” He gestures to the room around them. “And we made a promise to each other. Do you remember that?” 

Toge smiles. He remembers. 

“We said after graduation, we were going to find a place in the city together,” he reiterates. “And I know that Maki is spoken for already, since she lives with Nobara now, and we didn’t get to pick the place together like we wanted to- and we can move if that’s what you want–” 

“Yuuta,” Toge says softly. 

“But in another world, you were graduating from Jujutsu Tech tomorrow,” Yuuta reminds him, “And we always said we would live together after we graduated, and well…” He looks around again. “I was hoping it could be here. It was always meant to be both of us. Never just me.” 

Toge looks around, and he starts noticing details that he hadn’t this morning. A big fuzzy blanket in a little basket by the couch. It’s the sort of thing Yuuta would never bother with, but Toge would absolutely want close by when watching TV or something. There’s a succulent on the windowsill, and it looks a little worse for wear, so Yuuta must have been trying really hard to keep it alive. 

There are little signs of consideration all over this place, the more Toge thinks about it. In fact, Toge wouldn’t be surprised if the bread in Yuuta’s bread box wasn’t an accident either. Yuuta isn’t a big toast guy. Toge wonders what other things he’d find if he started poking around. 

Yuuta really thought this whole thing through. Everything about this place is as much something Toge would love as it is something Yuuta would, right down to the famed heated floors. 

“Takana?” Toge asks, hesitant. 

“Yes,” Yuuta confirms. “I picked it out just for us. The realtor said that that room gets better light, and I remember you saying that was important to you, so I left it for you.” 

“Sujiko?” Really? 

“Of course,” Yuuta tells him. “I remember everything you say, Toge.” 

For what must be the hundredth time in the last twenty-four hours, Toge is completely overwhelmed. He takes one last look around before opening his mouth to speak. There’s really only one thing to say. 

“Shake.”

“Yes, what?” Yuuta repeats. “Oh,” he realizes, “Oh! Yes you’ll live here?!” 

Toge laughs as he nods, amused with Yuuta’s excitement. It’s as if Toge was doing him a favor here and not the other way around. It’s not like Toge has anyone else offering him a room in their luxury apartment- not that he’d consider an offer like this from anyone else. 

“Thank god,” Yuuta says, clearly relieved. “It would have been so weird if you’d wanted to live in the dorms with my students.” 

His what? 

ONE YEAR LATER

Toge is pressing down the tab on the toaster and Yuuta is leafing through yesterday’s mail when they get the alert. 

“Yours or mine?” Yuuta asks politely, doing his best to look unsure. 

They both know it’ll be his. The higher-ups favor Yuuta for just about every mission there is. He fumbles for his phone, finding it in the back pocket of his uniform pants and frowning slightly.

“Me, it looks like,” Yuuta admits. His eyes rake quickly over the details. “Not too far away though. I should still be back in time for dinner?” 

Yuuta was supposed to teach all day anyway, so the outcome is more or less the same. Toge was out all day on a mission yesterday, so he doesn’t have any real plans today other than to recuperate and putter around in the kitchen. He still has a lot of TV to catch up on from the past few years to keep him busy. As long as Yuuta’s back in time to eat, it shouldn’t make much of a difference to him. 

He sympathizes with Yuuta though, who really loves teaching at Jujutsu Tech. Apparently, Satoru roped him into coming and helping with classes just a couple of years after he graduated. Toge is grateful Yuuta had that distraction. It’s obvious to anyone that having human interaction built into his schedule was in Yuuta’s best interest. Their teacher rarely ever did anything by accident. 

Yuuta fetches the carrying case for his Katana out of the coat closet (Toge implemented a new rule about a month after he moved in: no weapons in living spaces) and slings it over his shoulder, ready to go. 

“I’ll text you when I’m on my way home, yeah?” 

Toge isn’t the only one enforcing new rules. Another condition of living together is that they keep the other updated of their location as much as possible, especially where missions are concerned. Toge has to admit that it’s pretty fair after all the trouble he caused. 

It is sort of hilarious to him in retrospect, seeing that Yuuta’s terms apply much more to him than to Toge, since he’s the one out on missions so often. Updating Toge with his whereabouts all the time must be utterly exhausting, but Yuuta swears he prefers it. 

Toge actually doesn’t mind it too much, either. They don’t have the safety net of the school anymore. It’s better if someone knows where they are at all times, and it’s nice that Toge and Yuuta have each other for that. An emergency contact. A person to call, no matter what. 

There’s just one last thing to do before Yuuta leaves, and Toge pads across the kitchen floor in his socks to meet him at the door. Yuuta hasn’t told him to stop yet, so their tradition has continued. If Yuuta’s going out on a mission, there’s something he needs from Toge before he goes. 

Toge tilts his head back and Yuuta leans forward to accommodate him.  

There’s a little zap of cursed energy, and Toge knows the kiss has taken. Duty fulfilled, he takes a quick step back. He’s gotten slightly better about not letting himself linger too long in Yuuta’s vicinity over the years, especially this last one. Yuuta will let it go on, probably feeling too awkward to push Toge away, so it’s up to Toge to pull away first, even if his brain does get a little mushy every time he gets that close to Yuuta. No amount of practice has been able to stop that, unfortunately.

“Are you going to do that everytime?” Yuuta asks. His tone is gentle, but somehow amused. 

Toge cocks his head at him, confused. His heartbeat stutters. Is this how Yuuta finally tells Toge his services are no longer required?

“Blush,” Yuuta clarifies.

Toge gasps. “Ikura!” You jerk! 

Yuuta laughs, clearly not taking this as seriously as Toge is. “I’m just saying, Toge,” he says lightly, “Is it really so scandalous to give me a little kiss now and then? I didn’t know you were such a prude.” 

Logically, Toge knows that Yuuta is just teasing, but Yuuta has just made the opening move in a very dangerous game of chess. He might be older now, but Toge still remembers a sixteen year-old version of Yuuta that would be flustered if two pinkie fingers so much as brushed. Yuuta’s changed a lot since then, but he hasn’t changed completely. At his core, he’s the same as he’s always been- he’s just better at hiding it now. 

Toge wonders just how little it will take to crack through Yuuta’s exterior these days. Probably not very much. Yuuta thinks it’s funny that Toge gets embarrassed still? Fine. They can find out how much Yuuta likes it, then.  

He takes a couple of slow steps forward, relaxing the distance between them. Inching closer, Toge hooks his arm around the back of Yuuta’s neck and presses in. Now they’re chest to chest, and–

This plan made sense in theory, but Toge didn’t quite account for the height difference here. Toge was supposed to look Yuuta in the eye. He was supposed to get closer and closer, so close that breath would brush skin and Yuuta would eventually turn scarlet and fold. Now, Toge’s shifting awkwardly, pushing into balls of his feet to make himself taller and throwing his chin back. 

“Need a little help there?” Yuuta says innocently. 

Toge’s about to throw in the towel- clearly this is pointless- but Yuuta doesn’t give him the chance. He wraps an arm firmly around the back of Toge’s waist and grips. In one swift motion, Yuuta has pulled Toge in as close as humanly possible and slid him upwards. It happens in a single jolt. Toge barely even has time to blink. 

“There,” Yuuta says under his breath, satisfied. They’re face to face now- so close that Toge’s eyes have to go all the way down just to see the way Yuuta is smirking. “That’s what you wanted, yeah?” 

For a moment Toge is completely paralyzed as the brain fog that occurs when he’s within a certain distance of Yuuta settles over again, but he knows he has to push through it. He started this. He can’t back down from it now. Chess. Yuuta made a move, and now it’s Toge’s turn again. 

He uses his arm for leverage and hikes himself up a couple more inches, twisting his legs behind Yuuta’s back in a knot. Yuuta wants to carry him? Fine. 

Yuuta takes the additional weight like it’s nothing. Completely in control of the situation, he walks Toge slowly into the kitchen and deposits him on the kitchen counter. For some reason, Toge doesn’t unhook his legs the way he’s probably meant to. He hasn’t given up on winning this yet. 

He just has no idea what to do next. 

“Yeah?” Yuuta asks. His smile has turned silly. “Are we trying to prove something here or should I–” 

Toge doesn’t want to hear Yuuta say that he’s going to leave now, so he simply doesn’t let him. He’s got his hand cupped around Yuuta’s cheek, and he lets his thumb migrate to Yuuta’s lips, pressing down into them and physically stopping him from speaking. 

For the first time all morning, Yuuta looks genuinely startled. He could pull away, but he doesn’t. Instead, his gaze flicks down and Toge feels himself unconsciously mirroring the action. Their eyes aren’t landing just anywhere. 

They’re looking at each other’s mouths. 

Something settles in Toge’s chest, breath deepening. He knows what he’s supposed to do now. 

Ever since that very first kiss, since that stupid game of spin the bottle, Toge has been ransacking his mind for answers. He’s looked at the situation from every possible angle. Is kissing Toge merely pleasant for Yuuta, or does he like it? Is he letting Toge do it, or does he want Toge to do it? Is this professional or…

Personal?

All at once, Toge has his answer. There’s no reason they’d be this close to each other unless both of them wanted to be. They wouldn’t be tracking each other’s every movement, right down to the lips. Yuuta’s Adam's apple wouldn’t be bobbing with a nervous swallow and Toge wouldn’t feel tingly all the way down to his toes. They want this. They both want this. 

Toge slides his thumb out of the way, watching Yuuta’s bottom lip get stuck against it for a moment as he drags downwards and then slipping right back into place, completely pliant. They’re both fully relaxed as Toge sneaks in another inch. He keeps his eyes fixed on Yuuta’s mouth, making no effort to hide his intentions.

Yuuta’s creeping closer now, too. They both move at a tantalizingly slow pace and Toge basks in every second of tension between them. He could live in this moment forever. He waited so long to find out if Yuuta wanted him this way, and now finally, after all this time, he finally has his answer. This is what he’s wanted more than anything. They pause for one last moment, a paper-thin distance between their parted lips, and–

Pop!

Toge jolts, completely spooked. He pulls back only out of instinct, not at all because it’s what he wants. He was just so lost in it that he completely lost awareness of his surroundings.

The toaster. Toge’s fucking toast. Toge has just ruined the best moment of his life via breakfast food. 

They both burst out laughing. They can’t help themselves. It’s simply too ridiculous. Toge leans all the way back against the kitchen island, utterly defeated, and lets his head dangle over the other side. He splays out his limbs dramatically and plays dead- something Toge wishes he was right now. 

“What is it with us,” Yuuta quips, “And bad timing?” 

Toge’s laughing all over again, half bitter and half genuinely amused by the observation. Truly, the two of them can never seem to get it right. Five years too late, or one second too early. 

When Toge picks himself back up, lazy and half-propped up on his elbow, Yuuta’s face has changed. The laughter is gone, leaving something more serious and sincere in its wake. 

“I don’t want to cross any lines here.” His eyebrows raise about an inch, giving his expression a vulnerable sort of look. “You’ve been through a lot in the last year, and I want you to feel… safe here.” 

“Shake,” Toge assures softly. Of course he feels safe here. 

“I know, it’s just…” Yuuta looks pained. “I don’t want to wreck that for you, you know? You’ve had to do so much adjusting since you got back, and I want this to be a place where you can go and not have to worry about all that. I want you to know that you can be here no matter what. I just don’t want you to be confused, okay?” 

Toge pushes himself back upright, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. Confused? Has Toge just misread things completely? 

“...Takana?” Toge asks, wishing he didn’t already know the answer. You don’t want to…? 

“No, god- of course I want to,” Yuuta corrects quickly. “I’ve wanted this for so long, but god, Toge, now I just want you here.” 

Toge feels himself soften, realizing what this resistance is really about. Yuuta rarely talks about the years of Toge’s disappearance. At first, Toge didn’t notice, but the more he saw their friends, and the more they wanted to fill him in on everything, the more he realized that Yuuta didn’t. Everything he’s learned about Yuuta’s life at that time has been through others. 

He wants Toge here, because for so long, Toge was gone. 

That’s where the hesitation is coming from. Toge reaches down and snakes his fingers around Yuuta’s palm to give his hand a little squeeze. He wants to reassure Yuuta that he’s not going anywhere. 

“You were away for so long,” Yuuta says carefully. “Having you back already seems like a dream. Just being near you these last few months, having you alive and where I could see you… that already feels like more than I ever could have wished for. It means everything to me, Toge.” 

Toge’s thumb finds its way to the pulse point on Yuuta’s wrist. 

“I mean, how am I supposed to want anything more than that?” Yuuta asks, genuine. “I’m just so happy that I get to be around you, Toge. Even if it’s never anything more than that. All I know is that I never want to be apart from you ever again.” 

“Yuuta.” You won’t be. 

In his five years away, Toge lost out on a lot of things. His graduation, his dreams of an apartment with his two best friends, years of memories with the people he cares about. Toge missed out on so many things because of one stupid choice, but this is where he draws the line. He will not allow this to rob him of Yuuta. 

It’s not as slow as the first attempt, but Toge still leaves Yuuta plenty of time to pull away before he leans in for the kiss. 

This time, Toge doesn’t pull back after the familiar fizzle of cursed energy touches his lips. He pushes past the initial burst and keeps the kiss going. Years of holding back spill over all at once, and it feels so good. Yuuta is warm as he melts into Toge’s touch. It’s like Toge can feel Yuuta’s concerns fading. It’s all starting to give way. 

“Toge, are you sure?” Yuuta asks, pulling back slightly. “I mean, what if we break up?” 

It takes some serious willpower for Toge not to laugh right in his face. Who in their right mind would break up with Yuuta Okkotsu? 

“Okaka,” Toge assures him. “Okaka, Takana.” He can promise Yuuta they won’t, if that’s what Yuuta needs to hear. Even if they did, it wouldn’t change things. Toge would still want to be right here. Yuuta would still be his person. There’s nothing that could change that. 

“There’s the age thing too,” Yuuta mumbles poutily. “I mean, you’re quite a bit younger than me now. Maki’s going to tease us.” 

Toge leans in and kisses him again. Maki’s going to tease them anyway. They might as well enjoy themselves. 

“Nobara will accuse me of being some kind of predator.” 

Toge’s nineteen, and with the time skip screwing with his dates, he’ll technically be twenty in a few more weeks. If Nobara has a problem with it, she can take it up with him. 

“You can change your mind,” Yuuta promises. 

Toge shakes his head. He won’t. If he’s sure of anything, it’s this. He’s been sure since he was fifteen, since he and Yuuta first met. Why would he let anything get in the way of that?

“You can change your mind,” Yuuta repeats. “Just please don’t ever leave me again.”