Archive of Our Own

(Lyrics taken from Talk Me Down by Troye Sivan)

There is nothing more in the entire world that Dan loves more than he loves Phil’s laugh. He adores hearing it echoing through the hallways of the high school they both work in, and he can’t help but smile every time he catches a whisper of it through their shared classroom wall. Even muffled, it radiates pure joy and energy. Phil is a ball of sunshine, and everyone who works with him, is taught by him, or interacts with him for more than a millisecond is acutely aware of that fact. His smile is the only thing in the world that compares to his laugh for Dan, and he wants to hear both all the time.

Sometimes he stops and thinks that it might be a little strange that his favorite sound in the universe comes from his best friend, but he usually shakes it off fairly quickly. He’s always been a bit of an odd duck, at odds with his peers and general age group, and has never wanted to have anyone else become his friend. Now that he’s finally found someone that is not only willing to put up with him, but that genuinely adores him back, Dan finds that it’s easier not to question just how attached he is. He didn’t have a best friend for the first 24 years of his life, and now that he’s got one, he’s not letting go very easily.

Besides, Phil is an absolutely amazing person.

He can hear Phil’s muffled laughter through the walls between their classrooms and finds himself grinning. Phil just has an addictive laugh, and he desperately wants to ditch his own class of 17 students to go invade Phil’s space. Essentially he just wants to go be an annoying shit, but that’s his prerogative.

“Mr. Howell? Are you okay? You zoned out for a bit there...and I know that we’re meant to be reading but I think the whole class finished a little while ago.” Clarissa’s voice cuts through Dan’s musings, forcing him to look up.

“Shit, sorry guys. I got a little into my own head. Did you all finish the reading?” When all of his students nod, he lets himself smile a bit. This class in particular is his favorite because it’s small, and he truly feels as if he’s gotten to know the students well. They’re all juniors that he taught last year, and they all are extremely passionate about English. Unlike some of his other classes, they care about their work and have a true interest in being in his class.

It’s nice too, because many if not all of them also have Phil’s class, and sometimes he is able to use that to his advantage and combine the classes for an easier day. Essentially, any day that he is able to spend goofing off with Phil instead of grading essays and dealing with annoying angsty teenagers wins a few points in Dan’s mental ranking system.

Not that he really has a mental ranking system. But.

Anyway.

He forces himself to pay attention to his class again, because he does truly love them. They all are so willing to share their ideas and writing, and love to act out the various plays and novels that they are required to read in order to graduate.

“Okay so I know that we all just want to go home and take a nap, trust me I do too, but there are a few last housekeeping things before I send you on your separate ways. We currently have two options for homework this weekend.” The class lets out a low groan at the mention of homework. Honestly though, Dan gets it. He wants to grade their work about as much as they want to do it.

He’d much rather be playing Mario Kart and watch anime with Phil.

Dan thinks his idea for the class is super frickin cool though, and he’ll probably end up making the class do it anyway if they don’t want to. Whoops. He’s such a good teacher sometimes. (Not.)

“I can either assign you all to read the rest of the play for Monday, which you would have to do on your own time, and our class is first thing. So a ‘fun’ 8 am discussion, or option two.” He pauses purposefully, trying to convey to the kids a sense of how much cooler the second option is.

George doesn’t even both raising his hand and just shouts from the back of the room where he’s lounging back against a chalkboard, “Howell, we all know you want us to pick the second option. Just hit us with it so we can go home.” The class howls with laughter, and Clarissa gently throws an eraser at him. Instead of catching it he lets it bounce off his head and blushes slightly.

Dan smirks to himself, and quickly distracts the class. “Okay, okay you got me. I want you to pick the second option.” He moves behind his desk before continuing.

“I was talking to Mr. Lester, and he’s doing the same play with his freshmen classes Thursday and Friday after school. If you guys want, and are all able to, we could go to one or both of the readings, and that would count for homework. But you can all pick whatever works for you, although you have to let me know on your way out.” Dan finds himself grinning a bit as he thinks about getting to spend more time with Phil.

“Oh cmon Mr. Howell, we know you just want to goof around with Mr. Lester!” Sophie shouts from the front, much to the amusement of the other students, who erupt in giggles.

Dan can’t even deny it.

“Hey, you guys were the ones who fostered this friendship. You knew what you were getting into. This is your own fault!” Dan retaliates.

“You’re so cute together with your Mario Kart and nerdy references though!” Clarissa chirps from her seat. “You wouldn’t even admit to being friends at first, we loved it!”

Dan blushes completely involuntarily and thinks back to the day that he first met Phil.

--- Last Year ---

Dan can’t find the fucking door to the building. It should be fairly obvious, considering that he’s staring directly at a map, but for some stupid reason it doesn’t seem to indicate where the fuck the teachers should be going.

It’s not like he hasn’t been to the school multiple times before, including setting up his classroom and meeting various other teachers, but he’s never had to come in through a “teacher's entrance.” In fact, now that he thinks about it, how the fuck did any of his teachers get into school? Did they simply come before all of the students? Either way, Dan can’t seem to find the specific door on this map that he’s trying to look for, and he’s starting to feel a bit frazzled.

It’s his first day teaching at Westwood High School, and he can’t even find the door. “I’m off to an amazing start,” he thinks. The day still holds a hint of summer, and he can tell that unless he gets inside soon his all black get up is going to attract some serious sun.

He’s early so he can get set up, which he originally thought was a good idea. Dan’s regretting it a bit now.

“Excuse me sir?” Dan starts a bit as the sound of a girl’s voice interrupts his confusion. He looks up to find a teenage girl, probably a sophomore or junior, staring at him. She’s got a backpack and doc martens on, and a shirt that only says “|-\” and Dan immediately knows he’s found a young, female version of what he used to be.

“Do you need help getting into the building? Or?” She looks vaguely confused, but also like she would understand how to actually work this shitty building.

“Oh sorry, I’m Dan! Well technically I guess I’m Mr. Howell, although that sounds really strange. I’m the new English teacher here, I think I’m teaching mostly Sophomore and Junior English. Honestly though, I really could use some help getting in here. I’ve been a few times but I’m now hopelessly lost and turned around and if you could help I would literally be beyond grateful.” Dan is ridiculously out of breath by the time he finishes explaining, and he feels a bit like a teenager himself.

The girl simply laughs and Dan finds himself relaxing.

“I think I’m in your class then! My name is Clarissa, and I’m a Sophmore, I remember seeing you on my schedule. Also, I can totally help you find your room.”

Dan sighs audibly with relief, and the tension in the back of his neck finally starts to unravel. Naturally, he’s still nervous about his actual classes and actually teaching, but finally being able to find his classroom helps.

Even if it is a student helping him.

It’s not as if Dan isn’t aware of how awkward and socially inept he is, although he likes to think that it might be part of his charm. (It probably isn’t and he’s just trying to make himself feel better about life and existence in this world.)

(Maybe Dan became an English teacher because of his constant existential crises. Sometimes he genuinely thinks the only reason he can write is because he spends so much time contemplating the universe and existences that the only way he can feel real is by writing all of those feelings down.)

“Thanks so much Clarissa, I’m just a bit of a mess it seems.” She simply smiles and gestures for him to follow her, which Dan happily does.

“I actually think I saw Phil - I mean Mr. Lester, sorry um -” Clarissa stumbles a bit on her words, and Dan looks at her in confusion.

“He usually just has us call him Phil during play season, but during class he’s ‘Mr. Lester’. It doesn’t suit him nearly as much, he’s practically a child.” Dan is intrigued now, as he’s slowly figured out she must be talking about some sort of drama teacher, supposedly named Phil.

“Do I even want to know?” He asks, to which she quickly throws him a sarcastic eyeroll. It’s far too reminiscent of Dan as a teenager, and he is genuinely frightened as to how similar they are.

“Mr. Lester is our drama teacher, and since I have a club meeting I’m going to take you to his room. He’s usually here pretty early on the first day, so I can let him help you find your classroom and stuff. That way you get to know another teacher as well!” Dan’s apprehension must show on his face because Clarissa laughs at him.

Seriously, was he this must of a sarcastic and snarky shit when he was young?

Probably, actually.

“It’ll be fine, he’s actually awesome. And super nerdy and he just geeks out all class and is so chill. Everyone here loves him, his classes are so fun!” Dan resigns himself to the fact that since he can’t seem to figure any other way to get into this stupid fucking building, he’s going to have to follow this student.

She’s nice, at the very least.

Also the way she’s describing this “Mr. Lester” guy is rather intriguing, so he follows Clarissa through an ugly set of blue double doors. Dan flinches at the hideous school color combinations, but also accepts the fact that if he worked anywhere less prestigious it honestly would be so much uglier.

It’s still really early and the halls are eerily silent, their footsteps echoing on the gross linoleum floor.

After a few minutes of what seems to Dan like aimless wandering, they reach an equally indistinguishable hallway. The only difference is that suddenly Dan can hear a warm laugh filling the air, bright and happy in a way that he doesn’t often find himself these days. It isn’t that he’s depressed or sad (not anymore, and he’s not even really sure that he could self diagnose in that way) but he finds so few reasons to smile that sometimes he forgets to be happy.

It’s fine.

Clarissa smiles and turns towards Dan, stopping the two of them in their tracks. “I have to leave you here, but Mr. Lester’s classroom is right through that door,” she exclaims, pointing to the room directly in front of them. It’s a corner classroom (Dan isn’t quite sure how he knows this as he clearly has zero navigation skills) and is reminiscent of the theater rooms from movies.

The laugh sounds again, echoing pleasantly against the drab lockers, brightening the air around them. Dan finds himself staring longingly for the source of such joy, and in his distraction doesn’t notice that Clarissa slips away.

When he looks up next, she’s gone, and he has no choice but to go into the room directly in front of him. Dan’s a bit wary, to be honest. The room is strangely dark, and he has never met this “Mr. Lester” person before.

He hesitantly enters the room, such in case there is a serial killer or some shit, finding it dark with the sole source of light coming from a Macbook that is propped on top of a piano. The computer covered in so many stickers that the original ‘space grey’ colour isn’t even visible.

It isn’t the laptop or the room in general that catches Dan’s eye though - it’s the man behind the laptop, giggling as he watches some sort of video with headphones on. He’s got dark hair in the same exact style that Dan has, and even in the shadowy room it’s clear to see that he has beautiful cheekbones.

Also, if he isn’t mistaken, the man is watching a YouTube video, which. To be honest, is one of Dan’s favorite pastimes besides trolling Tumblr.

The man clearly hasn’t noticed Dan awkwardly invading his room yet, so Dan decides he has to make his presence known. He partially raises his hand, and as he walks closer kind of waves it. He can’t bring himself to break the still world of the room in any other way yet, at least not until the other man looks up.

After a few moments he obviously notices the movement, quickly snapping his head up and pulling out his headphones.

“Oh hi! Sorry, I was watching a Sonic Let’s Play to be brutally honest. I’m Phil Lester.” His smile is as pretty as his laugh, and Dan finds himself immediately liking this person. Phil obviously loves video games and if he’s anything like Dan he appreciates everything else nerdy and Japanese and fun.

“Really, on YouTube? I love Let’s Plays. I actually used to think that it would be fun if I became a YouTuber, but I never really found the inspiration to actually start. I dunno.” Phil’s face lights up, and Dan knows that they’ve found something in common.

“One time, I bought a box of cereal which supposedly had a camera in it. I thought that was a pretty weird place to put a camera, like aren’t all cereal box prizes like cardboard? And I guess they must’ve agreed, because there wasn’t a camera in it at all. I had thought of maybe doing videos with that, but since it didn’t happen I just never tried.” They’ve known each other for less than ten minutes and Dan is already beyond aware that he’s completely fucked.

They kind of smile at each other for a minute as Dan is absorbed in his thoughts, at least until he remembers that he has yet to introduce himself to Phil. He’s just been standing and chatting like a moron, and the other teacher obviously has no idea what the hell Dan is doing in his classroom.

Dan mentally face palms, and reminds himself to actually do it later so that he can feel the true awkwardness of the situation that he’s made for himself. Phil hasn’t actually reacted though, and Dan already feels like Phil is the sort of person who shows his every emotion on his face.

It’s okay though, because that’s exactly what Dan is like about 96% of the time.

“Oh sorry, I’m a moron. I completely forgot to tell you why I’m here I’m so sorry!” Phil simply smiles and shakes his head, a clear indicator that Dan doesn’t even need to explain himself.

“I’m Dan Howell, I’m the new English teacher.” Phil’s eyes light up in recognition and Dan decides to chance telling his uncomfortable story of how he ended up in his classroom.

“Okay, so don’t make fun of me because I’m just an uncomfortably awkward person, and for that I apologize. But I actually couldn’t figure out how to get into this fucking building, and a student - Clarissa -”

“Oh Clarissa! I’ve only had her for a year as well as for summer programs, but she and her friends and classmates are the absolute best. Did she direct your poor lost soul here?”

“I mean my soul is probably lost forever but she did direct me through the hell hole that is this school. Although to be honest I still have no fucking idea where my classroom is.”

“Have you been here before to set up your things and arrange the room?”

“Yeah.”

They both look at each other for a minute before bursting into rounds of giggles, childlike joy evident on both of their faces in the still-dark room.

It’s everything Dan’s ever wanted. (He can already see it getting better from here on. He can already see it, ten minutes in.)

As Phil walks him to his own classroom, which happens to share a wall with Phil’s corner room, Dan can finally feel his life slowly clicking into place.

--

Dan and Phil fall into the easiest friendship in the world. It’s a puzzle piece clicking into place in Dan’s life, like he’s finally met his actual platonic soulmate. Or just his other half, as Phil loves absolutely everything that Dan loves. Well actually, they find out very quickly that they do differ on some odd topics.

For instance, Dan has an all consuming love of Kanye West and Formula 1 racing, and Phil just absolutely doesn’t. One of the best parts of their blossoming friendship though, is that Phil will just let Dan ramble about the things that he is passionate about. Even if he knows absolutely nothing about the subject, he is content to simply listen and give input every few minutes to Dan’s rants.

It’s different from every other friendship he’s ever had, but in the best way possible.

They go on ridiculous faux coffee dates, where they drink endless caramel macchiatos and have their own Starbucks chairs. They start hanging out at each other’s flats nonstop, sleeping over in the guest room of the other without any awkwardness whatsoever.

The pair of them have three hours breakfasts after these sleepovers, making the world’s slowest fry up, spaced over the hour. Food comes in between talking and sharing of YouTube videos, ideas, and Phil’s ridiculous stories about the crazy people he meets.

Phil lets Dan ramble about space and how big it is and how pointless the universe is, listening attentively while giving him space and commenting when necessary. He’s always got some ridiculous story about aliens or his predictions of the future, and Dan is infinitely grateful to the universe for giving him someone as wonderful as Phil.

They love many of the same video games, but not all. It actually makes it interesting because they can introduce the other to new games, and play with various skill levels. For instance, Dan is the fucking champion of Mario Kart. Just to put that out there.

Also Phil has a massively diverse knowledge of TV and movies, and absolutely loves sharing all of them and discussing them with Dan.

They’ve fallen into each other’s lives so easily that it’s almost scary.

Dan feels a bit like a broken record as he can’t help repeating all the things he loves about his friendship with Phil, but he can’t even bring himself to feel bad about it as they cook together and make each other laugh.

There is also the matter of banter. Dan is a bit of a sarcastic shit, and even though Phil clearly prefers a lack of crude things, he indulges Dan and also proves to have a bit of a dark side. He’s seen so many horror movies and played so many horror games that Dan sometimes worries about him.

He learns all of Phil’s worst habits, and he’s sure that Phil starts to understand his existential crises and issues as well. But in all seriousness, Phil is a cereal thief.

If there is cereal anywhere near Phil’s general vicinity, he will seek it out and find it. Dan is actually amazed at how fucking accurate his cereal radar is, and doesn’t really know how to react to it besides buying more cereal (Phil’s favorite kind, of course). If anyone else so much as looked at his cereal weirdly, he would probably destroy them on the spot. But for some reason, Phil’s midnight cereal ventures and snacking just endear him even more to Dan.

He complains about it constantly to anyone who will listen for more than ten seconds, and bitches and moans about it to Phil as well. If he secretly beams the second that Phil turns away, no one has to know.

It’s a serious problem.

They discuss everything, from how “pathetically single” they are, and even their past (failed) relationships. It honestly isn’t even that important though, because as much as Dan complains about being alone and wanting companionship, he no longer cares.

He has Phil, and even though that sounds unhealthy as fuck, they are equally codependent. It’s not as if he regrets any of his past relationships, but they no longer matter and weren’t that long or meaningful anyway.

They’ve both found a best friend in each other, and nothing else really matters. Because Dan didn’t have a best friend for the first 20 odd years of his life, and now that he’s finally found one he never wants to let him go.

After one of their many 4 am chats (wrapped in blankets from their beds, holding mugs of tea, laptops balanced precariously on their laps) Phil admits that he hasn’t ever really had a best friend either. He has countless good friends, and even a few super close friends like a guy named PJ, but no one that he felt was his actual best friend.

And if they whisper to each other that they might just be best friends, no one has to know it besides the shadows in the lounge.

--

“Fuck off!!!! I will beat your ass, get out of my way Phil!” Dan is practically screaming, and is doing his best to control his kart with only one hand, as he’s using the other to attempt to whack Phil in the face.

“Dan! Dan, I can’t see stop that!” They are both so ridiculously animated when they play Mario Kart that it often ends in some sort of physical battle, but Dan wouldn’t have it any other way. It just makes the stakes that much higher, and the game that much more interactive. Granted, a normal person probably wouldn’t be okay with their friend bashing them over the head (gently though) with a remote, or physically blocking their view, but there is a reason Dan and Phil get along so well.

Dan chuckles a bit maniacally and proceeds to absolutely whip in front of Phil’s character. He is beyond willing to go above and beyond to ensure his own victory.

“Phil, I don’t understand why you even try! Oh, oh, there I go again, lapping you! Keep up loser.” Phil makes a noise like a dying goose and desperately tries to swerve in front of his kart.

“I’m going to beat you, you’ll see!”

“I don’t see how, as I literally am about to fucking destroy you, oh my GOD Phil!”

Dan recognizes the ridiculousness of the situation, and simply attempts to up the banter while playing the best he can with his face. He’s going to win if it’s the last thing he does.

After a few more minutes of intense fighting - not really as Dan is obviously the clear winner of all Mario Kart battles, let’s be real here - Dan crosses the finish line.

“Fuck YES Phil! DId you see that shit!” He jumps up on their couch, hopping around like a disabled goose with a face of victory. Phil only laughs and smiles, leaning back into the couch and staring up as Dan proceeds to detail an entire victory dance.

--

It isn’t really on purpose that they hide their friendship at school. It also isn’t really because either of them thinks that it’s shameful, it honestly is that it seems easier.

They tend to just keep everything on the down low because it just all feels a little fucking weird, and neither of them really feel like the students need to know that they are actual friends. Why should it matter?

At least, that’s how Dan justifies it in his own head. It’s not as if he and Phil have ever really talked about it, but at this point they’ve known each other for long enough that if they had a problem they are both comfortable bringing it up with the other.

It is quite different from the exciting “honeymoon” part of their friendship, but at the same time, the fact that they’ve made it here, especially this quickly, means a lot. Dan hasn’t really ever had a friend that he feels comfortable sitting with for hours, without any plans or really any interesting conversation.

Dan has always been the sort of person who can’t stand awkward silences. Granted, he’s the cause of them a large amount of the time, but he always feels responsible is there is a lull in a conversation. It doesn’t matter if he’s the host, or if he’s simply along in a group of general friends, he constantly feels like he has to be on his A game and making sure everyone is having fun. That’s probably part of the reason he hates socializing so much, besides his crippling social awkwardness. The most stressful thing in the world is making sure that every single other person is enjoying themselves to the fullest, because it means that you yourself can’t rest or breathe for a single second. Usually after going out, Dan has to recover for at least 3 days before he can go out again or face the human race and existence.

With Phil though, it feels totally normal to just sit in the same flat for hours on end without any sort of necessary forced conversation or crazy action.

Thus, it feels really odd to bring it up in a class setting casually. They don’t ignore or refuse to acknowledge each other in school, but they have a tendency to just wave or say hi in the hallways.

Besides, it not as if they aren’t constantly talk to each other and texting and spending time at each other’s flats outside of school, it's just in school that they feel like they need to focus.

It helps too that the both of them are extremely awkward in general, to be honest. They aren’t awkward with each other, but it seems fine to let their students think that they just wave to each other occasionally in the hallways.

Sometimes Dan does want to scream a bit at the attention of certain students. It isn’t as if anyone is really doing anything wrong and is attempting to proposition him or something, which would be beyond horrifying, but there are certain female students that have quite the tendency to giggle while he talks. There is absolutely no subtlety involved whatsoever, and it’s quite clear to Dan and Phil when it happens during their classes.

He gets that they are growing up and have a tendency to not know how to control their high school brains, but sometimes Dan just wants to be able to teach Oscar Wilde without hearing a stupid giggle from a young high school student. He doesn’t think that makes him a bad person, but instead showcases his absolute lack of patience.

It also doesn’t help that honestly, Dan isn’t really into women. He’s dated a few and he finds them attractive, but he can’t really ever see himself in a long lasting relationship with one. Dan has actually brought it up to Phil before, and he has the same opinion, which makes Dan feel less alone and weird about it.

Besides, it isn’t like he can just tell the students that he isn’t really that into girls. LIke. that would be a bit weird.

So instead, Dan and Phil just have a tendency to kind of just awkwardly shy away from any affections that seem more than just appreciation for their teaching. To be fair to the students as a whole, they both have really good classes.

Dan actually loves his students more than life, and has settled extremely quickly into his new job. Most of the ‘lovestruck’ girls just tend to simply whisper to each other during class about their male teachers, but there are a few that kind of make awkward flirting attempts from time to time. They try to be as nice as possible, while still making it extremely clear that they are there for them in a scholarly environment, and not making it any kind of weird beyond that.

There is that sector of the class, and then there is a more prolific and entertaining one that Dan actually enjoys.

A few students, ones that are the most active online and browse tumblr a bit too much, ones that like fanfiction and shipping exist that Dan and Phil know of. The pair of teachers has made it clear since the beginning that they fully support any sort of creative and fan work, as they don’t want to stifle the creativity of their students.

They get enough of that from their other classes and the world in general, and Dan’s whole goal of being a teacher was to foster creativity and make kids happy.

He’s so beyond willing to talk to his students about freedom of words and writing as an artistic and creative expression, as well as nerdy fandoms and writing.

Thus, he doesn’t get weirded out when he overhears a few girls talking about “shipping” him and “Mr. Lester” together. In fact, it should probably creep him out, even a little bit, but instead he finds it hilarious and wants to find out more.

He tells Phil about it, laughing hysterically the whole time.

The two of them quickly learn not only how to live with it, but also find it so amusing that they also learn to love it.

The fact that their students don’t even know they are friends in real life, and somehow still see them finding each other is so beyond encouraging and lovely that they find themselves simply smiling and beaming on the inside anything to do with “shipping” or as they have now been dubbed “Phan” comes up.

--

“Wait a second, are you texting?”

Dan’s class is in the middle of taking a small quiz, and he thought that they were all focused enough to not notice the fact that he was on his phone.

Normally, he turns his phone on do not disturb during class and only checks his texts periodically to make sure no one has died. Today though, Phil has a free period and has been texting him memes for the last hour. Since his class has a quiz, he thought he could get away with texting him some memes back, but apparently George has noticed that he isn’t quite grading or being a good teacher in any way.

“Um. Ummmmmmm. Yes. I am.” They must be so excited to finally be the one catching their teacher doing shit instead of being caught by their teacher for doing shit.

Basically Dan has fucked himself over. And if he doesn’t tell the truth then he knows that one of his students is completely comfortable with reaching over and snatching his phone and potentially reading the messages out loud to the whole class.

So instead, he decides to come clean. They’ve been best friends for ages, and maybe now is the time where they can finally reveal that without it being weird.

George is standing, accusatory, everyone’s quizzes left forgotten on their desks for this much more interesting incident.

“Okay, I’m not going to lie. You got me.” George simply raises an eyebrow. When Dan says nothing in response, George raises another eyebrow.

“C’mon Mr. Howell. Who was so important that you had to text during class? We want to know!” Clarissa and George make quite the consistently annoying team, and Dan knows he has to answer honestly.

“I was texting Phil. I mean, shit, I mean Mr. Lester.”

The silence in the room is so thick that it could be cut with a knife.

At least, until Clarissa lets out a squeal and jumps up, clapping her hands together.

“I fucking knew it! I knew it! How long have you been friends?” Dan laughs a bit at the reaction, and at the shocked faces of the rest of the class. They probably thought that he had no friends or something generally just as awful. That isn’t true though, as he’s brought Louis and Chris in once or twice to help him do dramatic readings with the students, but still.

After the class interrogates him for the rest of class, causing him to forget altogether about their unfinished quizzes, he texts Phil a quick explanation. He seems to find the situation quite humorous, sending Dan pictures of tiny ghosts dancing.

A fond smile dances on Dan’s lip in response.

It turns out that Phil has a bunch of the same kids in his classes, and somehow by the end of the day all of both their students have figured out that they are real life friends. It’s a bit of a facepalm, but absolutely precious that the students are so delighted.

After that, they don’t even try to restrain their friendship, anywhere. Somehow, it’s even better than before because they have broken down the dam. They banter in the halls, randomly appear in each other’s classes, and best of all, write notes to each other.

Dan starts it all by leaving little notes on the corner of Phil’s board, little things like “little aliens are going to invade your brain today, everyone be careful!” or “I’m going to beat you so bad at mario kart punk”.

Other favorites of his include but are not limited to:

“New season of Haikyū today!”

“FKA Twigs obviously should be president in the future”

“I saw a dog today and sent you a picture and it’s been five minutes and you haven’t responded what do I do”

He also leaves many variants of messages regarding food - what to eat for dinner, if he wants takeout, or if he’s suddenly feeling the need to cook. Phil’s pretty good at decoding them by now.

Phil prefers to leave post it notes on Dan’s board, which he often finds after walking to the teacher’s lounge to make himself a coffee.

They make the fact that he’s awake so much more okay, and generally brighten his day. Dan secretly collects them, because since day one, he’s been leaving them behind him everywhere he goes. Dan’s flat is constantly covered in tiny doodles of tiny creatures and happy things and random memes and just generally the inside of Phil’s brain.

He also leaves song recommendations (they sound like space and the actual music, the notes, are always beautiful in some way) and YouTube videos for Dan to watch and little drawings of creatures.

Phil also enjoys leaving little happy sunny notes which read ridiculous things like “today is going to be a phan-tastic day” because he thinks he’s funny, the little shit.

If Dan keeps them all in a boy under his bed, no one has to know.

The kids make it clear that they love it, the notes and interactions often witnessed by students at various times of day. It seems to make them smile, and give them a little hope that life does get better after the hell hole that is high school.

--

Dan wakes up with a start, entirely sure that something is terribly wrong. He can’t yet put a finger on what it is though, his brain muddled and confused with sleep. The sound of clattering dishes snaps him out of his haze and forces his body up into a sitting position, sheets tangling around his waist. There is a tangible energy in the air as he glances over at his bedside alarm clock, which reads 3:00 in a daunting red. It’s certainly not a time for visitors, and as Dan most definitely does not have a pet, he’s really fucking confused.

And maybe a little scared.

But seriously, what is a person doing inside his tiny flat? He has nothing of value besides his computer, which happens to be laid out beside him in bed. If they were looking for anything to sell, there was practically nothing in his fridge either. Normally he would suspect his parents or other various family members, but the chance of one of them showing up uninvited, and with a key, are slim to none. In fact, the only other person who has a key right now is Phil.

But seeing as no one, including Dan, who is only Phil's best friend, has heard from Phil for over three days, it can't be him. It's not that Dan doesn't think that Phil can take care of himself, it's that Phil has yet to say anything to Dan, not even texting. Usually they never stop texting and never stop talking because their thoughts and minds match so well, but as of three days ago Phil simply cut off all contact with the human world. And by human world he means himself. But it just isn’t like Phil to not message or even send a quick emoji, Dan has seen how attached Phil is to his phone.

Logically, Dan knows that Phil is a fully grown man who can handle himself, and is perfectly able to call for help if he needs it. Illogically though, Dan is freaking out a bit. He hasn’t seen or heard from Phil in three days, and as it is now Saturday he’s starting to get genuinely worried. What if he fell and died?

Thus, Dan has sent Phil approximately 17 million worried texts. They started fairly kindly saying things like “mario kart tomorrow?” but slowly got more and more annoyed and worried until the last ones simply read “TEXT ME BACK FUCKER SO I KNOW YOU AREN’T DEAD.”

Another crash brings Dan back to his senses, and he jumps up and somehow off the bed in an attempt to be stealthy. Instead though, he manages to trip over his own feet and land upright at his doorway. He quickly grabs the closest object to him which is - a water bottle?

What the fuck? Whatever, he doesn’t have anymore time to waste, there is apparently someone in his fucking house. Flat. Whatever.

Dan has his phone in one hand and his weapon watter bottle in the other menacingly. He figures he can scare or just creep on who, or what for that matter, is making the noise. Now though he’s starting to worry about supernatural shit.

Like, what if there were a ghost. Or a demon. Or a sketchy doll. His mind is going a bit crazy when he realizes that he’s somehow creeped all the way to his kitchen door without encountering anyone.

That means the likelihood of the intruder being in his kitchen is extremely high, and Dan isn’t quite sure if he’s ready to meet this person (or thing, his mind keeps echoing) face to face.

With a serious amount of trepidation Dan slowly creaks open the door to the dark room.

He can neither see nor hear anything, which terrifies him as much as if someone were to jump out at him.

Dan decides to do probably the stupidest thing ever, and as he’s fumbling around for the lightswitch, call out to whoever is in his kitchen.

“Hello?”

The light blinds Dan for a minute, and he thinks he might still be blind when he can finally see again, as Phil is leaning against his counter.

Phil, who is wearing dinosaur sweatpants and an oversized hoodie that was definitely Dan’s at some point. He’s also got Dan’s precious Shreddies box in one hand, and is filling up a bowl in the other.

They simply stare at each other for a minute, awkwardly suspended in time until Phil accidentally knocks a spoon onto the floor by accident. The resulting loud clattering is reminiscent to the noise that woke Dan up in the first place, and suddenly he’s pissed.

All of his emotions, the stress and worry and constant tension simply snap somewhere deep inside and he can’t help what happens next.

“What the fuck Phil!” Phil only looks shocked in reaction to his outlash.

“Why are you so mad? Dan?” Phil asks, cereal still firmly grasped in his arms.

“Who wouldn’t be angry! You ate all of my cereal and faked your death for three years!” His voice is more than raised now, and is probably far louder than is appropriate for the hour, although Dan thinks the situation makes it necessary.

“I can’t deny that I ate all your cereal, because I kind of did eat all of your Shreddies. Whoops. I will apologize for that but not really. But I did not fake my death for three years! What in the world are you on about?” Phil is absolutely incredulous, but Dan is still channeling all of his emotions from the last three days and can’t see past his anger.

“I mean you haven’t texted in three days Phil! It feels like years since I’ve heard from you, and you didn’t come into school or tell anyone at all what was happening! I was worried, okay. I thought you might’ve died or something.” The confusion on Phil’s face slowly washes away and is replaced with something softer, a warmer smile as he puts down the cereal and launches himself at Dan.

The arms that go around his neck surprise him for some reason, and Dan tucks his head into Phil’s shoulder with a sigh, releasing all of his pent up anger. He lets himself go a little limp, and Phil pulls him even closer.

It should be a bit odd, as they are close to the same height, but it’s 3 am and all Dan wants is a hug. Plus he loves Phil more than anyone else in the world, he’s his absolute best friend, and he was so terribly worried about him.

“Hey, I’m sorry okay.” Phil says softly, trying to not break the quietness that has filled the air. “I should’ve texted you, I just got so caught up in my cave of misery and sickness that I didn’t even think about it. I’m okay now though, and I won’t ever do that again. I dunno, I didn’t think it would affect you this badly.” At that, he pulls Dan in even closer and moves one of his hands to gently stroke Dan’s hair.

Dan has said how much he hates people touching his neck and anything near his neck before, but it doesn’t freak him out when Phil does it. Instead, he let’s himself go limp and lets the stress and anger and worry from the last few days go.

When Phil leads him into the living room, he simply goes. He doesn’t move or react much when Phil puts Attack On Titan on the TV, and simply curls up into the couch under the blanket that the other boy puts down.

Dan falls asleep to the soft sounds of the TV washing over him and the gentle movement of Phil’s hands stroking his hair.

--

Since Dan teaches English and Phil teaches drama, there are bound to be some overlaps. The curriculum doesn’t prevent them from studying the same plays or even the same authors, so even without them coordinating, it’s easy for them to accidentally study the same material.

Phil often has his class out scenes from plays for warm ups or he assigns them for the class as a whole. Dan thinks that it’s a great idea, as it forces everyone to interact, even if they’re only there for the technical aspect of the class or whatever.

What he doesn’t think is a great idea (well really, what he doesn’t appreciate about the situation) is their shared wall. In theory, it’s great as it means they can easily share their lunch breaks and never have to search for each other very much.

However, when Dan has a free period, and Phil’s class is acting out loud scenes, Dan wants to scream through the wall. Even worse is when he actually has a class and still wants to hit the wall.

He’s so comfortable with Phil at this point though, having known each other for over a year, and his student’s know it now.

Occasionally, when he can hear a far too dramatic version of a play that he loves, he’ll lean back in his chair and bang on the wall a few times, and then shout, “WILL YOU SHUT YOUR CLASS UP ALREADY, FOR FUCKS SAKE MAN.”

He’s only willing to be that explicit with his older class, the one with George and essentially Dan’s favorite students.

Not that he has those.

But they all know how much Dan and Phil bicker and banter, and they find it hilarious.

--

“I’m sorry, but I have to be honest about this Dan. Kanye West is actually the Kanye Worst.” Dan makes an affronted noise and tosses a pillow from where he’s collapsed on the couch in the general direction of where Phil’s voice is coming from.

So. Phil has obviously discovered his secret Kanye shrine then. He’s had it tucked away in the corner of the lounge for a few months now, but Phil hasn’t found it. Until now.

There isn’t any sort of connecting sound, so Dan assumes that he has just outright missed until suddenly there is a pillow in his face and he can’t see anything.

“Phil! What the fuck!”

All he gets in return is a loud cackle and the sound of Phil flopping down on the couch as well. He’s about to ask what Phil thinks he’s doing, invading Dan’s sofa crease, but then he feels the heavy weight of Phil’s head on his stomach.

He peers down at his friend, bright blue eyes staring back at him.

Dan can’t help but giggle at that, before continuing to defend Kanye’s honor. Because let’s be honest, obviously Phil being ridiculous is important, but Kanye will always take priority.

“I’m really sorry Phil but Kanye West is honestly the Kanye Best. Okay?” It’s this statement that sparks off a twenty minute argument.

Phil keeps bringing up how ridiculously amusing he finds Kanye for president in 2020, and how that shouldn’t even be legal or possible, and Dan whips open his secret weapon.

Okay, his secret weapon is his laptop. With Tumblr open.

There is an audio version that someone made immediately after the announcement Kanye made, remixing the entire statement. (Listen here ( X ))Dan thinks it might just be the funniest thing he’s actually ever heard, and he’s already played it a few times this week. However, for the intention of this argument, it’s beyond necessary to listen to it again.

They quickly find themselves in a several hour long argument about the best and worst aspects of Kanye West, still wrapped in a slightly awkward but mostly amazing cuddle on the couch. The room is warm and cozy, and as Dan rests a hand on Phil and a hand on his computer he realizes that he’s never felt more content.

Naturally, Phil is quick to point out that Kanye is an absolutely terrible person overall, insulting paparazzi unnecessarily, interrupting awards show, and generally has no sense of decency. He does admit that the stuff Kanye does is ridiculous and absolutely hilarious to the point of devastation in human form, while Dan is much more focused on the music.

Also Kanye’s performances, those are important too.

“Phil, I just think that you need to seriously consider the fact that maybe Kanye is a terrible person. But in general, no matter how strange a person, or whether or not you are able to support them and their day to day life and personality doesn’t necessarily matter.”

“How so?”

“Honestly, it's about the music itself. Not even necessarily the lyrics.”

Phil’s face scrunches up a bit in response to that and Dan thinks oddly that his eyelashes dusting across his face make him a bit beautiful.

“If you don’t appreciate or like the lyrics for what they are, you should be able to appreciate, from a purely academic standpoint, just how amazing and on point Kanye’s producing skills are. Even if his lyrics are insulting and not you cup of tea, they are still good lyrics. The music itself is flawlessly written, something that is clear in just how great the actual background music and vocals are literally produced.”

Phil does seem to be seriously considering Dan’s point when he suddenly pulls his phone out of his pocket and maneuvers it in front of their faces.
“Okay, but explain this meme.” Dan leans over warily to find a valentine with Kanye’s head in a heart, which reads:

To: Kanye
From: Kanye

Dan can feel tears pricking the corners of his eyes as he starts laughing, and soon Phil is laughing along with him.

Together, they are just a pile of laughter and memes and the moment is perfect.

--

As time has gone on, Dan and Phil, or as their students now ironically refer to them as, Phan, have only gotten more annoying.

Dan is fully aware of this fact, but he rather likes it and feels absolutely no need to stop. If his students didn’t like it they would be sure to say something, as they have all turned into rather outspoken human beings.

When Phil has any free time, even if he’s meant to be doing marking, he’ll just come in and interrupt Dan’s class at the time. The first few times he does it, he just sits quietly and grades while Dan teaches.

He isn’t so much a nuisance that way, but that all changes rather quickly.

Once everyone is comfortable with the situation, Phil decides that it is his time to shine in being as annoying (endearing) as humanly possible. He’ll make constant commentary on how wrong Dan is teaching a particular play, or will outright stop him in order to explain a concept more thoroughly.

They banter without any thought at all, and it’s clear that the students adore it, and agree that it’s ridiculously cute.

It’s also around this time that Phil brings out some of the more advanced plays for his older classes, including tragedies and love focused ones.

Dan actually gets a text during the middle of one of his free periods that simple reads

“Can you help me with a scene. Will explain but u r the only one who can help with this”

Intrigued, Dan immediately hops up and abandons all sense of responsibility. He was secretly watching YouTube on his phone anyway, he wasn’t accomplishing anything helpful.
“Hey everyone, Dan’s come to help!” Phil is a bit too relieved, which Dan immediately finds suspicious.

The whole class also looks a bit too gleeful for a normal demonstration - Dan has come in before to help with little things like sound setup or acting out small parts, and the class has never reacted anything like this.

What the fuck has Phil dragged him into?

“Okay, so we’re going to be reading from Romeo and Juliet.” Dan’s face immediately turns an odd shade of pink, and he can feel the confusion make its way onto his face.

What the fuck.

“Phil, can I ask you something real quick? Over here?” Phil shakes his head quickly, so Dan just says ‘fuck it all’.

“The fuck?”

In the end, it turns out that Phil needs someone to act as Romeo to his Juliet. Seriously.

Dan can’t believe that he’s best friend with an absolute spork.

“I’m sorry, but no one else can do it! And I know for a fact that you know almost all the words to Romeo and Juliet, so you have to help me! These poor students just want to be educated Dan. Would you begrudge them that?” Dan scoffs at that, but does immediately go to help.

And as uncomfortable as the scene ends up being, it’s actually hilarious and so much fun that it doesn’t even matter.

--

Dan can’t keep lying to himself. He’s been slowly moving past friendship with Phil, dangerously hanging over a precipice of which there is no return.

He’s found himself making horrifically cheesy poems and metaphors and general comparisons, and it’s all a bit awful (amazing). Dan looks at Phil differently now, and is starting to realize that maybe he always did.

The pair in general just feels significantly more heart eyed than normal, and maybe their friendship as a whole is starting to look more like something else.

They have always been pretty heart eyed and melty for each other, but they’ve always just attributed to having a best friend for the first time.

However, Dan is slowly starting to recognize the fact that maybe that isn’t the case. Phil is his best friend in every aspect, but maybe their students are on to something. Maybe they are meant to...be more. To just amp up the energy and who they are.

He notices it in small moments, snippets of everyday life.

Phil is starting to stay over at Dan’s, even more than before, and they are acting more coupley than ever. They switch off who makes dinner or who pays for take out, and domestically buy their groceries together. Phil rents DVDs that they watch together and then return.

It’s rather awful and yet amazing in literally every single way.

Sometimes they drive to school together (in reality they should just take the tube, but Dan doesn’t want to mess with his hair sometimes, and if they leave early enough they can make it to school actually on time).

When they get out of the car together while all of the students are filtering, it’s very clear what the students and even other staff think.

They honestly act so much like a couple that Dan himself is surprised they aren’t.

Like.

They fall asleep cuddled together while watching Orange is the New Black at least twice a week, and wake up at the same time to watch anime and eat cereal. Just because they aren’t very mature doesn’t mean that they aren’t perfect for each other.

At school, they’ve both stopped denying any allegations and laugh when it’s mentioned.

Dan thinks that it’s probably best to get let the suspicious students think what they want.

They haven’t really talked about it yet, but they talk about every other single aspect of their lives and Dan is absolutely in love with it.

It’s the first night in a long time that Dan hasn’t had Phil with him, as they’ve been spending so much time together over the last few months that they actually feel attached at the hips.

Phil is off at some drama event, and Dan is left with his thoughts and has spent the last few hours reflecting on their relationship thus far, and just how in love he might be with the whole situation.

He somehow has managed to find the only perfect human for him out there, and has actually ensnared him into being his best friend, and hopefully a bit more soon.

Maybe, they both lost their hearts a while back without realizing it.

--

After Dan has his mini realization for the first time, things don’t really change, but at the same time they do.

Their friendship remains exactly, perfectly the same. They still joke and spend time together and Phil still steals every bit of Dan’s cereal while listening to his existential crises and his deep, dark writing.

It’s just that, they kind of fall into dating.

Dan thinks that neither of them is really sure as to how it actually happens.

One minute, they are simply best friends, and the next minute, there are minuscule changes. But somehow, it is these minuscule changes that makes all the difference.

One night, around 3 am, Dan is being his typical night owl self.

He’s been browsing the internet for a few hours, generally trolling various social medias, when he hears shuffling footsteps that clearly are Phil’s, as he can already hear the clumsy man from wherever in the hallway he is.

Phil slowly creaks open the door to reveal that he has a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, and he looks extremely lonely.

“Dan, will you build a blanket fort with me? I can’t sleep and I feel like it would be fun.”

(The art for this section is here ( X ) and it is absolutely beyond amazing. There is also a playlist so please please please go check it out!!)

Dan doesn’t even question it like he normally would, and makes no sarcastic comments whatsoever. He just quickly goes to work setting up their comforters and chairs to form a nice tent. Without being asked, Phil grabs the fairy lights from the cupboard and sets them up wrapped around the fort so that they can see. Phil has someone also managed to smuggle in his favorite cereal, which is typically banned from Dan’s room. However, he decides that it’s fine this one time.

They spend the next few hours reading books and generally feeling super snuggly in their fort, being absolutely ridiculous small children for adults that are actually meant to teach teenagers about important things.

They can’t even deny how much they love laying on the floor and talking about life.

It’s absolutely perfect - they’re surrounded by all their favorite things and they are living yet again in their little Dan and Phil bubble. They’ve created a world for themselves, and neither of them ever wants to leave.

“Hey Dan?” Phil’s voice breaks the silence they’ve been lying comfortably in. When Dan looks up, Phil is staring at him softly, smiling softly.

Their faces are millimeters from each other, and Dan shouldn’t be surprised when Phil leans forward and gently connects their mouths. It’s ridiculously chaste and cute and Dan immediately starts laughing, leaning into Phil’s embrace.

Phil starts chuckling as well, and soon they are just a pile of giggling limbs like they’ve been so many times over the years. Only this time it’s different because Dan is so fucking enamored that he can’t see straight, his entire world consumed by the man in front of him.

Dan can’t even help but admit that Phil is the perfect person for him in so many ways, and he just wants to tell Phil that, and let him know just how important his presence is in Dan’s life.

So he does.

Dan actually mans up for once in his life, and in their little blanket fort cocoon from the rest of the world, he admits just how important and how much Phil means to him.

Someone, magically, Phil smiles so big that Dan thinks he might be the sun, and then responds in the same way.

Phil beats him to the talk in a sense, as he gets even deeper into it without Dan really realizing what is happening.

They chat about feelings and life and without even realizing it, they kind of have the relationship talk.

For once though, Dan doesn’t find it scary. It’s just Phil, his Phil, who is has to admit that he’s kind of head over heels for. A little in love with. Just a little.

Dan finds himself smiling, and can’t help but kiss Phil again.

He’s a little addicted to the way Phil feels, and the way that he feels when he touches Phil. It’s comfortable and home and also so addicting.

Needless to say, the blanket fort night is a big turning point for them.

They still show up to work together in the same car, and leave each other notes on their boards, and bother each other in classes, and text absolutely ridiculous things.

It’s just that now, they will admit to just how, at risk of sounding like a Beyonce song, crazy in love they are.

Their friendship is exactly the same, but with more bed sharing and kisses and hand holding, and even more frequent cuddling.

It’s amazing.

Dan can honestly say that he’s somehow found himself not only a best friend, but a boyfriend, and the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

--

One day, months after they started dating (they were never ‘not serious’ but it feels even more serious and solidified and comfortable now), the students are spying on them.

“George, shut the fuck up! I’m trying to find them in the binoculars and if you keep hugging me I’m not going to be able to do it.” Clarissa can physically feel the pout that George immediately totes, against her back.

“Oh stop it, you big baby. I’ll kiss you for it after.” He smiles and she knows that she’s managed to placate him for the time being.

It’s almost the last day of school, and even though their class is pretty fucking positive that Mr. Howell and Mr. Lester are together, they have yet to get any actual evidence. They don’t want any sort of senior gifts or grand send away this year, they just want to know if their favorite teachers are as happy as they could possibly be.

They won’t be having either of them for a teacher again, as they are all going off to college, they just want to know, once and for all, if they were right to be shipping the two of them.

From where they are stood in the parking lot, Dan and Phil can hear the giggling from the bushes. They know that at least Clarissa and her now boyfriend George must be in their, but judging from the amount of sound it would probably more accurate to say that the entire class has somehow fit into one bush.

Impressive.

“Should we give the people what they want, Mr. Howell?”

Dan’s responding smirk is enough for Phil, who dramatically wraps his arms around Dan’s neck before leaning in for a sweet kiss.

They break apart briefly, smiling, before getting into the car and driving away.