Chapter Text
Contrary to popular belief, Atsumu really didn’t give a flying fuck if he was excluded from things. Most people thought the blonde just said that; that he used it as a shield. But it was true. Miya Atsumu never cared about being left out of things. If he wasn’t a part of it, he assumed he was too good for whatever it was anyways.
It was Osamu that took being excluded hard.
Now, Osamu was very rarely ever excluded by his peers; after all, he was the more ‘palatable’ Miya twin, no matter how much he hated that title. To him, if they didn’t like Atsumu, they probably wouldn’t like Osamu very much either once they got to know him. The twins were two sides of the same coin after all.
No, it wasn’t their peers, or their team that excluded Osamu. If anything, the Inarizaki volleyball team went to extreme lengths to include both twins, something they’d never experienced before high school. It was extremely refreshing and made the twin feel right at home; the atmosphere that Kita created for them was probably the number one reason that the twins were great friends with their teammates, even after high school.
It wasn’t their peers, nor their team who made Osamu feel left out. No, it was his twin of all people. The one person who Osamu always had to make sure was included in his life.
Growing up, Osamu had always made sure that his twin was included in school and in volleyball. Atsumu had never cared about it, but it had always hurt his younger brother when the setter was left out of group activities. Purposefully, Osamu would start fights just to get a reaction out of the amber-eyed boy. It was the only way to get their classmates or team to see that Atsumu wasn’t just a harsh asshole; he was also a stupid scrub that was easy to tease. Now, would Osamu maybe go about this differently now that he was an adult? Yeah, but the logic of an eleven-year old is never that sound, so give him a break.
When they’d arrived at Inarizaki, Osamu had assumed it’d be the same as usual; he’d be the one integrating Atsumu to the team. It had been a surprise when the team had begun to tease the twins, with no concern of their prickly exterior. Almost immediately, their new team was joking around with them, ignoring Atsumu when he got too intense and pushing Osamu when he got too irritated. It was nice, they’d both thought. It was the first time they had felt like they belonged.
It was in Inarizaki that they’d met Suna. That had been the beginning of Osamu’s issue, so to speak.
It took almost no time for the twins to befriend the middle blocker, who easily fit into their dynamic. Suna was quick-witted, and would snark and jeer the twins as they did with each other. It was fun; Suna was fun to be around. The spiker and middle blocker duo were in the same classes, which made them even closer. They shared inside jokes, passed notes, worked on assignments together: they were best friends.
So imagine Osamu’s shock when he’d seen Suna and Atsumu kissing one day after practice.
It had been a normal day; Osamu was cleaning the gym by himself, as Akagi had an emergency and had to leave in the first few minutes. Osamu hadn’t minded, waving him off with a smile. After he’d finished cleaning, the grey-haired twin started walking home before his stomach growled. Irritated, Osamu had chosen to go to the nearest convenience store to buy a snack, when he noticed two people sitting on a bench near the store. He’d immediately recognized the uniforms, but was unable to see the faces of the students, since they were currently sucking each other’s. Osamu had choked when he realized it was his twin and his best friend.
“What the fuck,” Osamu said incredulously, making the couple split apart immediately. Suna stared with wide eyes, while Atsumu began to splutter.
“Samu! What – what’re you doin’ here?” Atsumu asked, frantic.
Osamu just stared between the two, completely ignoring his twin’s question, “Are you two dating?” The younger twin was not one to beat around the bush; he wanted to know now.
“We – we were just –“ Atsumu stuttered, completely red. Osamu just kept staring at him, waiting for a response. His twin’s flailing must’ve finally gotten to Suna, as he stood next to him.
The middle blocker looked at Osamu with sharp eyes, startling the grey-eyed twin a bit, “So what if we are?” He said, tone harsh.
Osamu raised a brow at that, “I’m just asking, Sunarin. No need to get so pissed off.”
“It’s not really your business, Osamu,” Suna said plainly, making the other boy bristle. What the fuck? How was he in the wrong here?
“He’s my twin. Yer my best friend. Is it so bad that I wanna know if yer datin’?” Osamu replied, annoyance painting his tone. Atsumu was quick to placate his brother, grabbing his arm.
His voice was a bit calmer now, “Yes, Samu. We’re datin’.”
The spiker huffed, “Now was that so hard? I jus’ wanted ta know. I dunno why you were bein’ so annoyed about it,” Osamu muttered, kicking the dirt under his shoes.
Suna just looked away, “How was I supposed to know how you’d react. I didn’t even know if you knew we were gay.” Osamu just stared for a moment.
“Who the fuck cares if yer gay? So am I, yer not special,” he responded, making both boys splutter. They deserved it in his opinion.
“Yer gay?” Atsumu asked, surprise lacing his tone. Osamu just stared at him, annoyed.
“Yes, Tsumu. Yer not the only one who likes dick,” Osamu deadpanned. The comment made Suna snort, although Osamu refused to smile at the sound. He was still a bit hurt about his friend’s reaction.
Osamu looked between the couple, before asking, “How long have you guys been dating?” He watched them eye each other, deciding whether to tell the truth or not. The spiker was about to tell them off before Suna responded.
“It’s been almost two months,” he said. Osamu stared back, shocked. He noted that Suna wasn’t looking at him, and neither was his twin. He could feel his stomach flip at the information as his fingers began to tingle.
Osamu mumbled, “Why didn’t ya just tell me? ‘S not like I woulda been mad.” Atsumu was quick to try and soothe his twin at that.
“It’s not that I thought ya’d be upset, Samu! I know ya wouldn’t,” he said, trying to get his brother to look at him. Alas, Osamu just continued to stare at his feet, his chest hurting as his twin continued, “I just – I didn’t wanna tell ya right away. Rin’s yer best friend and if it didn’t work out, I didn’t wanna risk it messin’ with yer friendship. I didn’t wantcha to feel left out either, so we acted like normal in front of ya. I was just tryin’ to protect you,” Atsumu said guiltily.
Suna added on, “We were just trying to keep things the same as usual in front of you. We were gonna tell you soon, I swear.” The promise didn’t make him feel any better.
Despite the pit in his stomach, Osamu smiled weakly at the pair, “It’s fine. I’m happy fer you guys. Don’t worry ‘bout it.” Both looked a bit skeptical at Osamu’s acceptance, but chose not to question it now. Osamu didn’t give them much of a choice anyways.
“I’m just gonna guy a snack and go home. You guys can take yer time,” he said, not waiting for either of them to respond before entering the convenience store. The spiker numbly walked around the aisles, picking whatever onigiri and paying. When he walked out, he noticed that the setter-middle blocker pair were talking quietly, Atsumu shout-whispering.
When they noticed Osamu coming out, they quickly stopped whispering: something that made Osamu feel worse. He shouldn’t be reacting like this. It was Atsumu and Suna’s news; it shouldn’t involve him, and he definitely shouldn’t be feeling the way he is right now about it.
Before Osamu could make a break for it, his twin ran over, “Let’s go home together, Samu.” He announced. The grey-haired twin couldn’t help but look back at Suna, who was watching them. Atsumu shook his head, “Rin’s gotta get goin’ anyways. Gotta play with his sister. Let’s go.” And with that, the setter began to drag him down the road, towards their house.
For the first few minutes, neither of them spoke. Osamu was still stewing on his emotions when Atsumu finally broke the silence, “I’m sorry, Samu. I shoulda told ya immediately. I didn’t mean ta hurt ya.” Osamu sighed, looking at the sky as he gathered his thoughts.
“’M not sayin’ ya had ta tell me immediately. It’s yer life, you can decide when ta tell me,” Osamu said, still not looking at his twin.
Atsumu argued, “Yeah, but I should’ve said something a while ago. I didn’t wanna change things between the three of us s’all.”
“I know yer reasonin’, Tsumu,” Osamu responded, mind far away.
“Then why’re ya still not lookin’ at me?” he begged.
“I know why ya did it, Tsumu. I just wish ya would’ve been honest with me.”
“I know, Samu. That’s why ‘m tryin’ to apologize now.”
“Yer not apologizing fer the right thing.”
“Hah? What else ‘m I supposed ta be sorry for?”
“I wish you were sorry about leavin’ me out!” Osamu exclaimed, startling his twin, “I wish you were sorry about lyin’ ta me. Things changed, Tsumu. I wasn’t completely unaware of it, I could tell you and Suna had some sort of inside joke that I wasn’t apart of. I’m not stupid, okay? I just wish ya would’ve said you were datin’, so I didn’t feel as shitty as I do now!”
Atsumu stared at him for a long minute, before asking cautiously, “Do you… do you like Suna, Samu?” The question made Osamu groan. He looked back at the ground, kicking rocks, “No, stupid. I don’t like Sunarin. It’s not like that.”
“Then what is it like, Samu? Ya say that you were aware of it but you were surprised today! I don’t get it,” Atsumu said, miserably.
Osamu wasn’t sure how to explain it either, “I just… I wish I wasn’t being left out like this. Yer my twin and he’s my best friend and you two are dating and I’m just… here. I hate that ‘m the odd one out, Tsumu,” he mumbled, feeling embarrassed. He knew it wasn’t really a fair thing to say; Atsumu was allowed to date anyone he wanted. Just, did it have to Osamu’s best friend?
“Samu, we ain’t gonna leave you out,” Atsumu tried.
Osamu whined, “You already are! Yer goin’ on dates after school and not tellin’ me. You’ve been hangin’ out without me too. All those times ya went out to ‘practice’ without askin’ me, you were with Sunarin, right?” he demanded, watching Atsumu snap his mouth closed. Being right didn’t feel good for once, “I don’t care that yer datin’. I care that I’m suddenly not worth bein’ around now that the two of ya have each other. Those days both of ya went to the ‘gym’ during lunch and told me I didn’t haveta come, you weren’t practicing, were ya? That’s what I mean, Tsumu. If ya just told me you were datin’, I wouldn’t have to feel like yer unwanted, annoying sibling tryin’ to hang out with you and the other cool kids!” Atsumu just stared helplessly as his brother heaved, exhausted by having to spell it out for his twin.
“Samu,” Atsumu said, voice thick, “I’m sorry. Please, ’m sorry. I won’t leave ya out, okay? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were feelin’ abandoned. I didn’t know. I’m sorry, Samu. We won’t do it again, okay? We won’t do stuff without you,” he tried. Osamu shook his head. He still didn’t get it.
“I don’t care if ya do stuff without me. I care that ya don’t exclude me,” Osamu said, staring at the ground. Maybe there wasn’t a difference to Atsumu, but there was to him. It was different.
Suddenly, the blonde pulled him into a hug, shoving Osamu’s face into his shoulder. The spiker struggled, not wanting the affection, when Atsumu spoke, “I won’t. I promise, we won’t exclude ya again. I promise, Samu. I won’t hide nothin’ from ya again. I don’t wantcha to feel this way. I don’t wantcha to feel like yer out there and we’re in here. Yer my brother, I ain’t ever choosin’ anyone over you. I’ll make sure Rin gets it, ‘kay? I won’t let ‘im exclude ya either. I promise, Samu,” he said, pushing his twin’s face into his shoulder harder. Osamu stood still for a while, before slowly bringing his arms around his twin, holding onto his jacket (which if he looked, he would see was Suna’s. He opted to ignore that fact).
He could hear Atsumu let out a shaky breath at the feeling of Osamu’s grip, and let his little brother melt in his arms. Whether Atsumu truly understood or not, Osamu was still sure that his brother would do whatever he could to make Osamu feel better. Whatever Osamu wanted, he knew his twin would do, just so Osamu wouldn’t keep feeling like this. It was one of the reasons the spiker could never understand the people who didn’t like his twin; Atsumu was one of the kindest people he knew, despite his harsh words and abrasive personality.
The twins stood in the street, hugging for a while longer. Before it could get too late, Osamu detangled them, finally looking at his twin with a shaky, but genuine smile. Atsumu ruffled his hair, before saying, “If I ever make ya feel like this again, just tell me, okay? I won’t letcha be alone, Samu.” Osamu huffed a small laugh.
“Okay, Tsumu. Thanks,” he whispered, before adding, “I’m happy fer you, ya know. ‘M glad yer happy with Sunarin. So don’t worry ‘bout that, ‘kay?”
Atsumu just bumped their foreheads together, saying a small, “okay,”, before grabbing his twin’s arm once again and dragging him home. This time however, he went willingly, even laughing as they went. It felt like part of the burden was lifted for them both.
The next day, Suna also came to talk to Osamu after morning practice. He stood in front of the spiker, fiddling with his tie before speaking, “Sorry about yesterday. I was being too sensitive about you finding out. It wasn’t right for me to treat you like that,” he said.
“We didn’t mean to make you feel left out. We thought we were being slick, but obviously not. I’m sorry, Osamu. I’m not trying to make you feel like we’re not best friends anymore now that I’m dating Atsumu, and I’m not trying to take Atsumu away from you either,” the middle blocker continued. Osamu stood there, mulling over his response for a moment, while Suna shifted uncomfortably.
“You can keep him, damn scrub,” Osamu said, making Suna snort. This time, Osamu let himself smile, “Why do ya like ‘im anyways? Thought ya had better taste than that Sunarin,” Osamu joked.
Suna just shook his head fondly, “I didn’t think I’d fall for him either, but once you break through his prickly exterior, he’s not as much of a bastard on the inside. He’s just surprising, you know? One minute he’s screaming at everyone and the next, he’s crying cause someone gave him a cough drop. I guess I wanna see all the different sides of him,” he said, making Osamu grimace. Suna laughed at his expression, dispelling the tension surrounding the friends as well. Finally, Osamu started to feel better about the situation.
It didn’t stop him from complaining about it to his friends though. As him and Aran practiced their serves together, he whined, “It’s so gross, Aran-kun! They’re like, in sync. It’s so weird. They cause terror as a unit now,” he shivered, making Aran laugh.
Aran smiled at the other spiker, patting his shoulder as he asked, “Are you feeling better, Samu? About everything?” To which, Osamu flushed.
Somehow, Aran had basically known everything before Osamu even had a chance to complain about it to the third-year. He explained it away by bringing up the fact that he’s known Osamu since he was a kid, but the grey-haired twin was still surprised (and a bit embarrassed) that Aran knew about Osamu’s insecurities.
“I’m okay now. Tsumu and Suna have been really nice ‘bout it and they don’t just ditch me anymore,” Osamu told the ace, who nodded approvingly.
He ruffled the twin’s hair, making Osamu whine again, “I’m glad. Ya shouldn’t feel left out by yer twin or yer best friend. Tell me if they do it again, ‘kay?” Aran said, flexing his biceps as he did, as if to say he’d ‘handle’ it for him. There was no way Aran would ever hurt anyone, much less Atsumu (maybe Suna if he hurt the blonde, but Osamu doubted it). Nonetheless, it still made Osamu giggle, which made the third-year smile back at him.
“What’s going on over here?” Kita said, startling Osamu a bit. He stumbled a bit at his senpai’s voice, causing the captain to reach out and grab his arm to steady him, “Sorry, Osamu. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
Osamu shook his head, “No, Kita-san, it’s okay. I just didn’t hear ya come over,” he said pleasantly.
“We were just talkin’ about Suna and Atsumu,” Aran told his boyfriend, who nodded seriously.
Kita turned back to Osamu before asking, “Are you still feeling troubled about their relationship in relation to you?” The question caused Osamu to blush again.
“I’m fine, Kita-san. Aran-kun just asked me that too,” he pouted, “I’m okay. ‘M happy fer them, really,” the second-year emphasized. Kita just nodded, a small smile on his face.
“As long as you’re okay, Osamu. Do you want us to walk you home today? I heard Atsumu and Suna talk about going somewhere after practice,” Kita said evenly. Aran turned to look at Osamu too, who was a bit shy.
He mumbled, “Dontcha wanna go home by yourselves?”
Aran shook his head, smiling still at the younger boy, “Nah, we wanna go with you. Shin wouldn’t ask if he didn’t want to. And you know I like being with ya,” he said easily. It made Osamu smile, quickly agreeing to it.
Soon after, the third-years graduated, and they became the seniors. Osamu had cried when Kita and Aran left for college and the V.League respectively, but both had reassured him that they’d come and visit him and that he could call them whenever he wanted. Aran had even invited Osamu to his first game, much to his excitement. The grey-hared boy had been quivering with nerves for his childhood friend, making Kita laugh. It had struck Osamu as a bit odd that of the two tickets he’d gotten for the match, Aran had given them to him and Kita. Giving it to Kita made sense, since he was his boyfriend, but Osamu? The spiker had thought it would be given to Atsumu, since he wanted to go pro. Not that Osamu was complaining, unlike Atsumu.
“Why d’ya get to go to Aran-kun’s game!” the setter had whined while Osamu put his sneakers on, “It’s not fair, yer not even gonna play professionally!”
Osamu rolled his eyes, “Ya could’ve bought a ticket to go,” he said, to which Atsumu shook his head.
“It’s not the same. Aran-kun invited you. I’d just be a tag-along,” he pouted.
“I’m technically gonna be a tag-along. Kita-san is the other one goin’.”
“That’s not fair.”
“What’re ya whinin’ about now?”
“You get to go see Aran-kun and Kita-san. ‘S not fair!”
“You gotta let yer crush on them go. First, they’re datin’ each other, and you have a boyfriend,” Osamu reminded him.
Atsumu just waved his hand, “Rin knows about my crushes and supports me. He said if I can seduce them, I can have them,” to which, Osamu gagged.
The twins were startled out of their bickering by a honk in front of the house, them rushing outside only to see Kita in a pickup truck, smiling at them.
“So fucking unfair,” Atsumu whispered, dodging when his twin elbowed him. Osamu had waved at his senpai and climbed into his passenger seat, sticking his tongue out at his twin as they pulled away.
That game had come and go and unfortunately, had been the last time Osamu had gotten to seen his two friends in person until he graduated. Even then, the day had been too hectic for Osamu to get to really talk to them. The trio made a promise to catch up once Osamu had moved for college, which happened to be a few train stops away from Aran’s apartment in Tokyo.
The day that Osamu moved into the dorm would be one he never forgot. Atsumu was the one helping him lug his stuff up to his room, both of them complaining the entire way. Neither of them had seen his roommate yet, the other boy seemingly missing in action. They’d just finished unpacking most of Osamu’s stuff when the front door swung open.
“Oh,” Sakusa said, staring at the sight before him.
Osamu just stared back, “Sakusa-san? Yer my roommate?” To which, the taller man nodded.
Atsumu stared as well, “Omi-kun?” Now that made the spiker startle.
“Atsumu?” he said, and if Osamu hadn’t been there, he wouldn’t have believed the blush that appeared on the Itachiyama alumni’s face.
And that had been the start of the divide again, the crack forming right in front of Osamu’s eyes.