Work Text:
Mingyu was already home when Jeonghan arrived. He was told not to wait for Mingyu and Minha from the beach but it seems like they got home earlier than Jeonghan anyway. Jeonghan stops in front of the door. He is nervous. After what happened earlier, Jeonghan doesn’t know if he’s ready to confront Mingyu. Mingyu has all the right in the world to be angry at Jeonghan. His husband is having sex with someone else behind his back. Not just having sex, but sharing affection and hugs and kisses – though it’s just sex, now – with another man. Jeonghan knows he’s at fault. But if he does not submit to Jaeson’s demand, that prick will definitely tell Mingyu everything. And Jeonghan couldn’t afford to lose Mingyu. Not his Mingyu.
After making sure he’s calm and collected, the long haired male punched their security code and entered his and Mingyu’s heaven.
“Baby?”
Jeonghan gets inside the house. It was already dark. That’s a first. Mingyu never turned off the light if Jeonghan wasn’t home yet. He knows Jeonghan was somewhat scared of the dark, so he always leave the lights on whenever Jeonghan came home late.
“Mingoo? Are you home?”
After taking off his shoes, he went further inside the apartment. Now with the hallway lights off automatically, it was totally dark. He walked right towards the light switch, and with no hesitation turned everything on.
“Mingy—shit! What are you doing! You scared the hell outta me!!”
Jeonghan screams as he saw Mingyu standing in the middle of their living room. Hair disheveled, eyes bloodshot red, expression unreadable. It’s looked like he woke up because his sleep was interrupted, but deep down, Jeonghan knows something is very wrong.
“Mingoo? Hi..” Jeonghan shook off the odd feeling, forcing a smile at the sight of his husband. He approached the younger, and stopped in front of him to stand on his tiptoes and kissed his nose. “You asleep?”
It was a habit, and Jeonghan realized it all too late that Mingyu didn’t even leaned down to facilitate Jeonghan kissing the taller’s nose like he used to.
“Did you have fun? I’m sorry I couldn’t make it. Turns out it took a lot more time to figure out the new moves for the new project.”
“Yeah?” Mingyu asks in a hoarse voice. Jeonghan can’t help but to wince at the voice. Has Mingyu been screaming? Crying? Because of him?
“Minha? Is she asleep?”
“It’s half past three in the morning, Jeonghan. What do you think?”
The tone Mingyu used was unfamiliar. Never had Jeonghan heard that tone addressed to him. Mingyu was never hostile to him. Not even in their fights.
“Mingoo?” Jeonghan took a step back to examine his husband. Just then he realized that Mingyu’s bloodshot eyes were not from sleeping, it was because he was crying before. Now Jeonghan can see the trails of tears on Mingyu’s cheek. Jeonghan brushed it off for the second time – the odd feeling that something was off with his husband. “W—how… was the beach? Did you and Minha had a good time?”
“Without you? She would never,” somehow the words brings a smile on Jeonghan’s face. His Minha is just so cute like that. But it does make Jeonghan’s guilt doubled. “We.. she didn’t want to go without you. She wouldn’t have enjoyed it.”
“Aww, poor baby. But you still enjoyed it right? Even without me?”
“No,” Mingyu’s answer made Jeonghan’s eyebrow raise. “I just told you, Minha didn’t want to go without you. She wanted to be with you. She insisted.”
No.
“So we went to the dance studio.”
No. Jeonghan’s heart suddenly beats a hundred miles per second. No. They couldn’t have.
“She wanted to surprise you. She wanted to wait for you to finish work and go buy that cake she wanted for her birthday party tomorrow.”
No. That’s the only thing Jeonghan can think of. No. This can’t be happening.
“But guess who got surprised, Jeonghan-ah?”
Nonononononono—
“We met Soonyoung Hyung. He said there were no new project. The new girl-group you said you need to teach? It doesn’t exist. And Jaeson-ssi? He’s been fired since last month, he said.”
Nonononononono—
“You know what Soonyoung Hyung said to me after he told me all that? He told me to stay strong and that he’s sorry this happened and he’s going to be there for me no matter what.”
Jeonghan was too shocked at what Mingyu was saying. He couldn’t form any coherent reply. He should’ve listen to Soonyoung. He should’ve come clean to Mingyu about that drunken kiss he had with Jaeson that started everything. He shouldn’t have played that bastard’s game this far.
“I.. I was so worried, Hyung. You always come home early in the morning, and go back to the studio after lunch to do this project with Jaeson-ssi. I was so worried about your health. I cut off my work hours, risking my position and my salary so I can stay at home and help you with the house chores and taking care of Minha and I.. but I.. you…”
There were tears pooling on the corner of Mingyu’s eyes. Jeonghan felt like there were invincible hands squeezing his chest and throat at the sight of his husband like this.
“I had my doubts. I hated Byun Jaeson since the very first time I met him, but you said not to worry. That I was over-reacting and I should pull myself together because what was it you said? Mingyu, Jaeson Hyung is an angel. Does this makes me the devil then, Jeonghannie? This feeling is killing me slowly, but I tried to hang on for you. Was I at fault for trying to hang by a thread that was bound to break anyway?”
“M—Mingyu…” when Jeonghan found his voice again, he was already bawling his eyes out. He’s not supposed to cry. He was supposed to take care of Mingyu right now. He was supposed to wipe those tears from his husband’s cheek. His husband who he relies on a lot and never once disappoints him. But Jeonghan couldn’t move a single limb. He was petrified. Too scared to move any closer to Mingyu.
After minutes of witnessing Mingyu trying to hold his sobs, just like Jeonghan who’s trying to hold his sobs in himself so that Minha doesn’t hear them, Mingyu finally wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. The raven haired sniffled a bit, composing his breath. Then he looked at Jeonghan in the eye.
“In five hours, Minha is going to wake up. She’s going to ask for her birthday cake and ask us to blow the candle with her and open the present we prepared for her. We’re going to blow the candle with her, and then give her her present, open them together. Then, she’s going to want to help us prepare for her birthday party. We’re going to let her. And then we’re gonna celebrate it like nothing happened. I.. I’m sure you’ll be able to act it out—“ the words pierced through Jeonghan’s heart so painfully. “—even though I’m not sure if I can do it too, but I’ll try. For Minha. But after that..”
Mingyu stopped for a moment, inhaling a deep breath and exhaling it before continuing.
“After that, we’re done. You can decide to stay. You can leave. We don’t have to split up. I don’t really care. I just.. just keep in mind that I know, Yoon Jeonghan. And I’m done pretending I don’t.”
Jeonghan tried so hard to find words to say to Mingyu but it’s like his tongue has lost all the strength to move. So he only listens as Mingyu continues.
“I have known from the start but I wouldn’t dare even to think that you were.. unfaithful to me.”
And God, the painful expression on Mingyu’s face is so hard for Jeonghan to watch.
“That you cheated on me. But now that I really know and…,” Mingyu stopped again, to take a shuddered breath. Like he’s doing everything in his power not to break down there and then in front of Jeonghan. The husband who cheated. The husband who was unfaithful to the man he vowed his love for.
“Mingyu…” Jeonghan finally found his voice, Mingyu was already walking away from him towards their shared bedroom.
“You can sleep in the bedroom. I’ll sleep with Minha.”
Just then Jeonghan realized that Mingyu was holding a pillow and a flanel blanket all this while.
“But please,” Mingyu stopped on his track to say this, without looking back at Jeonghan. “Please don’t let Minha know that there’s something wrong between his parents.”
“Mingyu, I can’t…”
“You lied perfectly to my face all along, so I reckon you’ll also be able to do that in front of Minha?”
The silent scream Jeonghan let out was left unheard as Mingyu disappeard behind their daughter’s bedroom door.
Take it, no reason for me to hold on
Look in my eyes, I’m letting go