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It was bound to happen at some point. If Nayeon’s being honest, she’s surprised it’s taken this long for it to happen. She’s finally lost a bet to Jeongyeon, and now Nayeon’s got to play sober carer for all of the girls while they drink their stresses away for the night.
They deserve it, but you’ll never hear Nayeon say it out loud. They’ve been doing a lot of promotion lately, a lot of early mornings bleeding into late nights, constantly in front of the cameras with an idol-ready smile on their faces. It’s their jobs and they all love it, but it just makes them appreciate these nights off even more. So yeah, Nayeon doesn’t mind missing out on the fun for one night while her girls lets loose.
They’re all sat around the kitchen and living room area, empty soju bottles and takeaway strewn on every counterspace. Nayeon lounges against the wall, surveying how her friends stumble in place with drunken smiles on their faces. They’re all having fun, playing some drinking game that causes them to yell and laugh out loud a lot.
Except for Mina. Mina sits by the dining room table, slouched over in her seat with her head leaning on her fist. Nayeon’s been observing her out the corner of her eye for the past half hour, and she slowly looks like she’s about to fall asleep where she sits. There’s a redness that blown across her neck and naked shoulders under her comfortable tank top, and her hair sits messily around her face. Nayeon knows she doesn’t look that pretty when she’s drunk.
Nayeon surmises that it’s time to tuck the first person into bed. She parts from the wall and walks the length of the room to kneel in front of Mina. “Mina-yah? Can I help you get to bed?”
Mina blinks and rouses herself from the brink of sleep. Her sleepy gaze locks with Nayeon’s. “Oh, Nayeon-unnie?”
Nayeon smiles, absolutely charmed by Mina’s lax state. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
Nayeon cocks her head. “Bedtime?”
Mina’s eyes start to close for longer, but she still brings herself to stand up slowly. “Mm, bed sounds good.”
Nayeon follows Mina to stand up, and then lends a hand to Mina’s back to help lead her to her bedroom. “Say goodnight to Mina, everyone!”
The girls chorus a heartfelt goodnight and quickly return to their games. Mina only raises a hand sloppily in recognition. Her shoulder leans on Nayeon’s as they walk towards Mina’s bedroom.
The sound of the girls’ laughter dulls when the door closes behind Nayeon. Mina’s left a small desk lamp on, and it spills a soft orange glow across the room. Nayeon watches softly as Mina collapses on to her bed. Her movements are all messy and lazy, in a way she’s never seen Mina be when she’s sober, and she’s utterly adorable.
“How do you feel, Mina-yah?”
Mina’s face is mostly mashed into her pillow, her cheek all bunched up. “I feel like… I don’t know what’s real or what is my drunk imagination right now.”
Nayeon’s eyebrows hike up, a laugh bubbling in her throat. “You don’t know what’s real at the moment.”
“Nope.”
Nayeon starts walking towards Mina’s bed, ready to start tucking her in. “Well, how about you name things you can see and I’ll tell you if they’re real or your imagination?”
“Okay,” Mina says, then takes a long pause with her eyes closed. Nayeon almost thinks she’s fallen asleep, but then she opens her eyes again and starts looking around the room. “Hmmm. I can see… the stars out in the sky through the window. They’re very pretty, but they’re brighter back home. I miss them.” She breathes, then slides her eyes back to Nayeon’s lazily. “Real, or imaginary?”
Nayeon’s been to Mina’s home in Japan, only briefly and with a few of the other girls, but she remembers the stars brightly reflected in Mina’s eyes. While the girl looks just as breathtaking, the stars here don’t hold a candle to the ones at Mina’s house. “Real.”
“Mm.” Mina starts looking again. “I think the room is spinning. I feel like I’m in the waves at the beach. This bed is on wheels – real or imaginary?”
“Imaginary, Mina-yah. You’re just a little drunk. You’ll feel better once you sleep.”
“You’re right, unnie… I can smell brownies. Has someone made brownies?”
“No, Mina. Maybe you’re hungry.”
“Will you make me brownies, Nayeonnie?” Mina’s lips are pouting. The only reason Nayeon can say no is because her eyes are closed and she isn’t possessed under that persuasive gaze.
“Maybe later, if you still want them.”
“Okay. Thanks, Nayeonnie.”
“Mm.” Nayeon perches on the side of the bed by Mina’s hip and starts pulling the covers up and over Mina’s body, tucking it in around her shape. She doesn’t usually sleep on her stomach, with her face in the pillow, but she’ll deal with it while she’s drunk.
Mina’s eyes are closed, “I can feel your warmth. You’re sitting next to me. Real or imaginary?”
“Mm, real.” Nayeon folds down the top of the cover around Mina’s shoulders, and before she retreats from Mina’s space, Mina gently grasps Nayeon’s wrist.
Nayeon’s heartbeat jumps in her wrist and her breath stutters. Mina notices. “Your heartbeat jumped.” Her eyes slide up lazily, but she locks Nayeon in her gaze. “Are you afraid of me, Nayeonnie?”
“Of you? No, never of you.”
“Hm. Well, was that real or my imagination then?”
Nayeon blinks at Mina, but Mina’s stare continues. “…R-real, Mina.”
Then, Mina’s got her eyes closed for a long moment, her hand still wrapped around Nayeon’s wrist. Nayeon would almost think that she’d fallen asleep if not for the fact that Mina was rubbing little circles on Nayeon’s pulse point with her thumb. Nayeon was embarrassed to think she could probably still feel Nayeon’s pulse jumping even now.
“Real or just my imagination, Nayeon-ah?” Mina’s eyes are still closed. Nayeon waits. “I’ve had a crush on you for years, Nayeon-ah. I’ve just never been brave enough to tell you before.” Nayeon just sits there, her heart in her throat and her heartbeat hammering on her wrist. Mina’s thumb has stopped, just resting there on her pulse point. “Real? Or my imagination?”
“I… I’m not sure.”
Mina’s eyes jump behind her eyelids. “It’s real, Nayeonnie. I’m sorry I’ve never told you before. I won’t remember this in the morning.”
Nayeon sits there and watches as Mina’s breath starts to even out. Numbly, she turns off Mina’s lamp and closes the door behind her softly.
In the living room, the girls have not let up on their fun. As the hours go on, the girls start to slowly drop off one by one, and Nayeon leads them into the rooms to turn them in for the night. None of them end up making her heart lurch the way Mina did. Mina won’t remember anything she said in the morning, and Nayeon wishes she could do the same. She has the entire scene printed on the back of her eyelids, the soft words from Mina’s mouth playing on a loop in her ears, the skin of her right wrist burning from Mina’s touch. She will never forget tonight.
--
In the morning, the rest of the girls are slow to get up, weighed down with hangovers. Nayeon’s the only one in the kitchen during the single digits of the morning. And she’s by the kitchen counter, cocoa and butter and eggs by her side. She’s making brownies. The smell fills the kitchen, and it distracts her enough to not think about Mina too much. When they come out the oven, a gorgeous brown colour, she covers them with foil and writes Mina’s name on the top.
Nayeon’s going to go for a long, long walk. Long enough that the girls will be well awake by the time she gets back. It’d just be nice to clear her head, perhaps get herself a treat to eat by herself by the river.
Mina remembers nothing in the morning, as she had said, and is somewhat confused when Momo comes in to her room, upset and pouting. “Mina-yah, can I have some of your brownies?”
“Brownies?” Mina rubs the sleep from her eyes. She can hardly hear Momo over the rush of blood in her ears.
“Yeah. The ones in the kitchen.”
“In the kitchen?” Mina stumbles out of her room, following Momo to the kitchen. Just as she said, there is a container of brownies on the counter, Mina’s name written on the top of the foil messily in marker.
Mina has absolutely no recollection of why she has these, but she’s delighted no less.
When Nayeon comes back from her walk a little bit after midday, the girls are all in the kitchen devouring the brownies she made for Mina. Mina sits in the corner of the dining table, munching on a single brownie. Nayeon meets Mina’s eye, and there’s a no glimpse of recognition. Nayeon’s heart sinks. She puts on a brave smile and shuts herself in her room.
In all honesty, she’s confused by her own reaction to Mina’s confession. So what if Mina confessed to her? She doesn’t seem to remember it, and Nayeon’s been confessed to quite a few times, to be honest. Mina’s not acting any differently to Nayeon than she ever has, so why is Nayeon acting weirdly?
She’s always held Mina in a slightly different light to the rest of the girls: she’s quite and observant, chooses her words carefully, prefers to listen more to talk, and so she’s always felt like she needs to protect Mina and dote on her a little more than the rest of the girls. She’s always liked to hold onto their hugs a little longer, felt a little bit prouder of her, brightened a little more when she meets Mina’s gaze. But, is that weird? It just means Mina’s very special to her.
And now she has to go on knowing that apparently Mina’s had a crush on her for years, and she’s never even noticed. Has Nayeon unknowingly led her on all these years? What does she do with this information now?
--
Apparently, Nayeon’s answer is to just stare longingly at Mina whenever they’re now in the same room. Enough that other people are starting to notice.
“Dude,” Jeongyeon starts, when they’re all in the cars on the way home. Her and Nayeon are sitting in the back, and Mina’s sitting in the middle row of seats by the door. She’s got her earphones in and stares out the window, and Nayeon wonders idly if she’s always been this goddamn pretty. “Stop staring at Mina like a creep. You’ve been doing it for days now.”
“What?” Nayeon says, affronted. “No, I haven’t.”
Jeongyeon widens her eyes annoyingly. “Yes, you have. What’s wrong? Did you have a fight?”
Nayeon shakes her head, and doesn’t answer her any further. Instead, she looks down at her hands, and then briefly chances a glance up at Mina again. Jeongyeon rolls her eyes.
--
In fact, maybe Nayeon’s taken it a little too far. She’s apparently staring enough that even Mina might be picking up on it.
They’re all sitting in the living room together, just slowly winding down from a long day at work together. And Nayeon’s been staring at Mina for the past few minutes. She’s admiring the way Mina’s hair falls over her shoulder, there’s a few shorter strands that curl around the shape of her jawline, and it’s massively pretty. She’s absentmindedly watching the television and rolling her bottom lip her thumb and forefinger. Nayeon can hardly think to blink. Then, Mina suddenly stops her ministrations, her eyes carefully blank, and she hardly moves at all. A bright red blush starts to build on the tops of her cheeks. Nayeon’s brow furrows. Is she okay?
Then, Mina’s eyes slowly drag away from the television, to the left. Quickly, in a way that she might’ve missed it had she not been staring, her eyes dart to Nayeon’s, then to the floor in front of her. The redness on her cheeks seems to build in colour, and spreads to her neck. She just sits there, looking at the floor while Nayeon looks at Mina. Then, her eyes slowly start to climb back up to hold Nayeon’s gaze, bravely. They just look at each other, and Nayeon can hardly remember to be embarrassed that she was caught staring.
--
Mina confronts Nayeon one night. Well, confronts her as much as someone as soft as Mina can confront. Nayeon’s in the bathroom, freshening up after another night with all the girls just talking together in the living room, when Mina purposefully strides in and closes the door behind them. If Nayeon didn’t pay as much attention to her as she does, she would’ve missed the way Mina’s hands shook when she slid the lock.
Nayeon continues to finish drying off her hands, and catches Mina’s eyes through the reflection of the mirror. “What’s wrong?”
“You’ve been… You’re…” Mina flounders behind Nayeon.
She’s so obviously nervous that Nayeon turns around to face her, growing concerned. “I’m what? What have I done?”
“You’re… staring… at me. A lot.”
Nayeon feels her heart stutter. She blinks. “I’m… I’m staring at you?”
“Yes. Everyone’s been noticing.”
“Everyone’s noticed that I’m staring at you?”
“Yes. They have. You are.” Mina suddenly starts to hunch in on herself, her eyebrows furrowing and the line of her mouth tightening. “You have been… right?”
Nayeon blinks again, and breaks at the insecurity in Mina’s eyes. “Yes. I have been… staring at you. A lot. Sorry.”
“You’re sorry?”
“I… I guess so. I’m sorry everyone’s realised I’m staring at you.”
Mina’s eyebrows furrow. “But… You’re not sorry for staring at me?”
“Should I be sorry?”
“I… what?”
“Do you want me to stop? Staring at you?”
Mina just stares at her for a little bit, her breath shaking her chest. “I don’t think so.”
“Okay. So. I’m not sorry for staring at you.” Nayeon goes to step around Mina and open the door. Her heart is beating so loudly that she can feel it in her ears, and can hardly hear what she’s saying. Hardly believes she’s saying this to Mina. “If it helps, I’ll try to be a bit more subtle so other people don’t notice as much.”
“Wait –”
Nayeon stops, looking over her shoulder at Mina. “What’s wrong?”
Mina stands there, in the middle of the bathroom, just looking at Nayeon. “It’s just. Well, why?”
“Why?” Nayeon echoes dully.
“Yes. Why are you staring at me?”
“Oh.” Nayeon blinks, her hand on the doorknob. “Well, I… Well, you’re just. I…”
“What is it?” Nayeon can see the innocent hope in Mina’s wide eyes.
Nayeon’s hand slides off the doorknob, but her body still mostly faces the door, as she looks over her shoulder at Mina. Her hands shake, so she balls them up. Mina’s eyes flick down to them, then back up to Nayeon’s eyes, searching them. “Do you remember anything about that night we all got drunk? Well, all of you got drunk, but I was on sober duty. You got quite drunk. Do you remember that night?”
“Not really. I mean, I remember being in the living room altogether. But… I don’t really remember anything after that.”
“I was the one that made you the brownies the morning after. You were thinking about them when I put you to bed that night.”
“Oh. I didn’t remember. Thanks – the girls enjoyed it.”
“I made them for you. Because you brought them up. I didn’t make them for all the girls.”
“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t realise.”
“I’m not asking for an apology.”
“What are you asking for then?”
“Nothing, I’m not asking for anything from you. I just mean that – well that… I think I’ve realised that if anyone else had brought up them up, I wouldn’t have made them brownies that morning.”
“What…” Mina lets out an unsteady breath. “What do you mean by that?”
“I… we talked before I put you to bed, do you remember that?”
“No. Did I say something?”
“You… were saying that you were so drunk that you didn’t know what was real and what was your imagination.”
“Okay.”
“I was helping you figure out what was real and what was imaginary, and you were pointing out the stars and you thought your bed had wheels –”
“Nayeon, did I say something to you?”
Nayeon tries to centre herself. “Is there something you would’ve said to me?”
Mina’s eyes flick across Nayeon’s. She draws into herself minutely. “I… I don’t know. Did I say something, Nayeon?”
Nayeon searches Mina’s gaze. All she finds there is hope and utter confusion. She powers on. “You said you’ve had a crush on me. For years now.”
Mina just stands there, looking at Nayeon, and Nayeon hates that she can’t tell what Mina’s thinking just now.
“Is… Is that true, Mina-yah?”
“I told you I’ve had a crush on you for years?” She says blankly.
“Yes. You did. Is it true?”
“I…” Mina just stands there, her gaze so painfully blank, looking somewhere slightly over Nayeon’s shoulder. For a horrible moment, Nayeon thinks that maybe she misinterpreted Mina’s drunk words. Maybe she wasn’t even telling the truth. Maybe Nayeon had completely made up Mina’s feelings, and now she’s really just been staring at her and having her own feelings for no reason at all.
“Mina. Do you… like me?”
Mina’s eyes snap back to Nayeon’s. Her whole body squares up, and she seems to hold her breath. Nayeon notices that she hasn’t breathed at all since Mina closed the bathroom door. Mina nods, her eyes piercing into Nayeon’s. They flick down to Nayeon’s mouth, then flick upwards again with a redness to her cheeks. “I do.”
“You do?”
“Mm.” Mina nods again, resolutely.
Nayeon can feel herself drawing up. “You do. Me too. I do too.”
Mina’s eyes snap wide. “You… You do too?”
“Yes. I do. I like you too. A lot, actually.”
“Really?”
“Yes, I- I only realised after you told me first, really. So. It’s your fault, really. I could’ve gone on forever not noticing that I liked you, or that I look for you in every room, and I like your hugs the most, and I look forward to your birthday kisses especially. So. It’s all your fault.”
“It’s my fault?” The tension from Mina’s frame has completely dissipated by now, and to Nayeon’s absolute ire, there’s a relaxed and completely unfairly sexy smile on Mina’s lips. Even worse, she takes a small step towards Nayeon, and Nayeon feels like the air between them compresses so much that she steps back a little and feels the surface of the door at her back. Mina’s eyes drag down Nayeon’s shoulders and even lower. Nayeon gulps.
“I- yes.” Nayeon watches Mina take another step closer. When did she grow so bold? Nayeon can hardly think.
“Should I be sorry?” Mina takes another step closer, and their knees almost knock. Nayeon’s eyes track as Mina takes a gentle hold on her hand, and brings it up to her lips. The soft plush of her lips press against the back of Nayeon’s hand. Nayeon almost gasps.
“What?”
“Should I be sorry? For… liking you?” With Nayeon’s hand still in her grasp by her mouth, she caresses it with her thumb, deliberating the movement with a heavy gaze. “Or for… telling you when I was drunk?”
“Um…” Nayeon’s brain is, embarrassingly, not working at all with Mina this close, with her warm breath on Nayeon hand, with the press of her knees on Nayeon’s. “I… I don’t think I want you to be.”
Mina’s eyes finally tear themselves away from their hands, and lock eyes with Nayeon, an undeniable soft joy glinting there. Mina breaths out a slow breath through her nose, and lazily tracks her eyes over Nayeon’s face. Mina rests their joint hands on Mina’s chest, right above her heart. Nayeon can feel it racing beneath her skin. “You’re… so pretty Nayeon-unnie. And you look after me so well. My hiatus was so hard, everything leading up to it and everything that came after it… and you comforted me the most through it all. You’re so much more caring that other people give you credit for. I don’t think I could’ve stopped myself from liking you, all those years ago. I’m happy I did, even. I’m happy I like you.”
Nayeon grows a little bolder at her words. “I’m happy too,” she slips her hand from Mina’s on her chest and slides it up her neck to rest on her burning red cheek. “I’m really happy.”
Nayeon pulls Mina even closer and their hips nestle on each other’s. Mina draws her hands around Nayeon’s waist. Their noses slide beside each other. Their lips meet, and Mina’s hands clench slightly on Nayeon’s waist. Mina feels the way Nayeon relaxes against her, releasing a bit of her weight to trust Mina to hold.
Nayeon catches Mina’s bottom lip between hers and swipes her tongue across it. Mina breathes out through her nose and Nayeon can feel it fan across her face. Mina pushes Nayeon ever so slightly more into the door and Mina grounds her foot between Nayeon’s. Nayeon slightly tilts her head, and Mina follows her. Mina’s mouth opens willingly, and Nayeon’s tongue slips in. Mina presses her thigh more purposefully between Nayeon’s legs, and the beginnings of a whine bubbles up Nayeon’s throat into Mina’s mouth.
Mina growls a little at the sound and one of hands slip downwards, resting on the swell of Nayeon’s backside. Her thumb caresses over it. A throaty moan spills from Nayeon’s mouth at that, and she regretfully pulls Mina away for a deep breath. “I think… I think we should stop.” The conclusion of her words a largely overridden by her actions, as she draws her hand from Mina’s cheek to the back of her head, where she winds her hand into the hair there. Mina is hardly listening to her, her thumb still caressing over Nayeon’s ass and her eyes locked on Nayeon’s mouth. “The girls—the girls are down the hall.” Nayeon can see the way Mina’s pulse in pounding under the flushed skin of her neck. “But…” Mina’s eyes flick up to Nayeon’s. “I would like to do this again. And again. And again. If you’d also like that.”
Mina’s mouth curves up into the prettiest smile Nayeon’s ever seen. “Yeah. I’d like that a lot, Nayeonnie.”
Nayeon presses a lingering kiss to Mina’s cheek, and lets Mina take a step back. Though, Mina makes a point to continue holding Nayeon’s hand. Nayeon flicks open the lock, and leads Mina down the hall to join their friends.
Mercifully, no one makes any comments about their joint hands or how long Nayeon took in the bathroom, but they all share secret smiles.