Chapter Text
"And I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you
Yeah, I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you"— Lacy (Olivia Rodrigo)
BILLY
His life is easy most days — especially if he can make it through the day without thinking of everything he has left behind, without thinking of her. He has a peaceful life with Camila and Julia, and he loves the domesticity of it all. He loves that he gets to watch Julia come home from class and talk to him about what happened at school. He loves to be around and never misses a soccer match, school reunion, or anything. He's happy he doesn't miss anything anymore, that Julia can count on him for anything she needs, from the big to the small stuff.
His life with Camila is okay. The past six years haven't been easy, but he finally feels they've managed to get to the other side. It isn't what it used to be, but he guesses that's good as well. He couldn't possibly expect his life to go back to how it was after everything that happened — after her. He got to make up to Camila for all his past mistakes, all the missed time he didn't spend with her, and she finally forgave him — or tried to forgive him. At least now, she only brings up some things from the past, not as she did the first couple of years after Chicago.
They never talked about Chicago, or Daisy, or the Six as a whole. During the first couple of years, all Billy did was follow Camila's every rule, every requirement she had to forgive him. He went to rehab briefly, got clean, and worked on himself, his home, and their life. He never talked about Daisy again and avoided anything related to her like she was the plague.
There were times in which he felt Camila was testing him. She would purposely put on a radio that loves to put Daisy's track every hour, just to see how he would react if his soul would respond to her the way it had before. He mastered the art of keeping a still face while a song went on, of trying not to analyze every lyric when he knew Camila was watching. He tried to keep a straight face in the most heartbreaking songs she wrote about him, about them, about her pain after Chicago, and tried to be emotionless the first time he heard a love song that didn't have him anywhere in the lyrics.
He wished for Daisy to move on; he indeed did. He wanted her to find happiness, but it hurt to hear it happen and not know it from her mouth. He didn't wish any unhappiness upon Daisy, but he couldn't help but wonder if he could ever truly be happy in the life he now had, if it would always be like that — keeping an eye out in everything he did and said, afraid of messing up, of saying the wrong thing.
He never answered Ellemar's calls or letters, and he didn't pick a pencil to try and write a song ever again. He couldn't do it. He couldn't do a piece that wasn't about her, and he would ruin everything he was working so hard for. He broke his rule once, for "Hall of Fame". It was a good song, and the only reason he gave it a pass was because it wasn't linked to Daisy alone but to the band as a whole — even though if you looked closely enough, you could find enough Daisy references. It was a huge success, and Camila and he lived happily on the royalties of the band that had used it and Aurora's.
His life may not be perfect, but it is perfectly comfortable. It's peaceful. It's sure, and it's his, so when he receives Warren's wedding invitation, he feels a chill down his spine. He ignores the letter for the first couple of days, as though he isn't aware of it, sitting peacefully at the kitchen table. He knows Camila sees it, too, but she grants him enough kindness not to mention it. One day, she gets tired of giving it to him.
"Are we going to ignore it?" Camila asks, and her tone is harsh, like whenever she talks about the band or the seventies.
Billy wishes he could change the topic of conversation, but he knows there's no escape. It's been a long time coming, and it's not like he can run away from it, not if Camila has set her mind to discussing it. She's good at looking the other way at the things she doesn't want to acknowledge, but the moment she's done, there's no escape.
"I don't think we should go," Billy says simply. His voice doesn't even sound truthful to his ears. "I don't think we are ready for that."
"It's been six years, Billy," Camila replies, somewhat calming, like she knows she's just proving a point by stating it. "One would think we are ready now. That you are ready now."
Of course, she's blaming him because the fault is his. Camila could go to that wedding and have it mean nothing to her but being polite to a friend. He isn't. He isn't ready to face his life from before, but if he's honest, what he's not prepared for is watching her again. Because if he goes, he will have to do just that.
He can control his feelings if she's physically away from him. He can pretend her voice means nothing to him as long as he doesn't have to hear it live. He can act as long as he doesn't have to do it with Daisy Jones in front of him.
He hasn't really kept in touch with anyone from the band except for his brother —and even his relationship with him was hurt by how things ended within the band— and Warren, who he talks with here and there. Warren, strangely, managed to keep in touch with all of them, but he was closer to Daisy than he was to anyone else. They work together still, and sometimes, when they hang out, he's tempted to ask for a tiny bit of information about how her life is, how she is. But he never does because the simple idea of asking is already risky enough, and Warren knows better than to bring the red hair up when the topic is not welcome.
"Warren is our friend, and Lisa is a lovely woman. We should go to their wedding. And," She stops herself as if measuring what she will say next. She does that a lot when she's around him. "I must admit I'm not thrilled with the idea of meeting them all again, at a wedding of all places, but I'm not going to stop living my life because of what should be in the past."
Camila never quite forgave the band for what happened in the seventies, even though she says she has. Billy knows, and so does Camila. She hasn't talked to any of them either, not even Karen, and he can tell it hurts her that she lost all the people she once called her family. It hurts her to think they didn't consider her family the same way she did, that they would prioritize something else over her.
"Are you not ready? Isn't it all behind us?" Camila asks, and her tone is harsh and doubtful. He can tell what she's asking in between the lines.
They never say her name out loud, not at home, not anywhere. If they can avoid it, they do, except for when Camila sets him up. They pretend Daisy doesn't exist anymore in hopes that what happened between Billy and her will banish itself. But it won't.
The fact he doesn't mention her to Camila doesn't mean he doesn't think of her daily, that he doesn't listen to some of her albums in the dark, and that he doesn't crave just a piece of information about how her life is.
"It is," He assures her, and Camila nods.
"Call Warren and tell him he can count us in for the wedding." Camila commands.
And he does because if Camila has made up her mind, who's he to judge?
CAMILA
Warren's wedding is so inherently his and so naturally Lisa's that it makes her smile. She remembers her wedding too — despite not being perfect or planned, it was everything she ever dreamed of. She was marrying the man she loved, the man she wanted a life with, and she was happy. She doesn't care that she has no pictures of that day or that Billy wasn't at his best. She remembers that memory with a fondness that always sets her soul with strength to keep fighting. She wonders if she will ever feel the same love and peace she felt that day if she will ever hold in her heart the thought that is Billy and her forever.
The party is at his boat, which should be bigger to hold the amount of people they have invited. Camila distinguishes some prominent actors from Hollywood and a few musicians she's heard of on the radio. She doesn't want to admit she's looking for someone specific in the crowd because the thought scares her.
She thinks seeing Daisy Jones in person for the first time in six years can do her no harm. If she watches with her own two eyes that she has built a life apart from theirs and that she's good with it, maybe she will finally believe in the life she has. Perhaps that will give her some reassurance that she has done the right thing by bringing Billy right into his past.
"Hi," She greets when she sees Graham with his girlfriend, Jeanie. She's a lovely girl, pre-med, and they have been dating for two and a half years. Most of all, she's nothing like Karen, which she thinks is what Graham desperately wants. "Enjoying the party?"
"Pretty much," Jeanie says with a huge smile. "I can't believe you guys belong here. This is full of superstars!"
Camila smiles, but she feels her smile fading away after just a few seconds. She doesn't belong here; she has never belonged. Just like she didn't belong to the band, and not because she didn't know how to sing or play an instrument. She didn't belong; she didn't understand nor speak the same language they all did. She was an outsider from the moment Daisy joined the band, and not because Daisy stole her place, but because she never belonged.
There was a time in which she felt like she might belong there. Billy showed her every song and melody he was working on; she would go to their rehearsals and film and take photos of each of them and help them get gigs. But then, she married Billy, and she dedicated herself to the family that they were building, so far away from him that she never managed to be back to the band. When she tried, it was already too late.
"I don't think Graham's having a good time, though" Jeanie jokes, smiley. "He's been silently staring at nowhere for ten minutes now."
Jeanie doesn't know about Karen, and it's honestly for the better. Some things are just better like that. Graham and Karen ended the worst way possible, and she can't help but slightly resent how it ended. She loved both of them and when they separated and the hatred grew, she was sad that they could never go back to how it was before. But she guesses it makes sense that Billy and her can never go back to how they were, nor can Graham and Karen.
"Where's Billy?" Graham decides to ask, trying to shift their focus onto his brother.
"Parking. Should be here any minute." Camila informs as Julia gasps so loudly that they all turn their heads.
"That's Daisy Jones!" She screams, excited. "Oh, Mom, do you think I could ask for an autograph?"
Camila feels the air gets stuck in her lungs as she realizes where her daughter is looking. Daisy Jones is talking comfortably with Eddie, of all people. She's wearing a beautiful open-back red dress, and she looks better than she has ever looked in her nightmares. Years do not seem to pass for her, as she looks as good as the last time she saw her, perhaps even better. There's a glow in her smile that is noticeable even from afar.
Right next to her, there's a guy. Tall, handsome, fit. And he has his hand on her lower back, almost grabbing her ass, and she looks comfortable with his touch. Most of all, she seems happy. She doesn't think she has ever realized how unhappy she looked back in Pittsburgh and Chicago until now.
"Where are you looking at?" Billy asks, joining them. He's trying to follow their gaze, and his eyes suddenly fall on the red-haired girl. Camila feels her whole world crashing down as Billy half-closes his eyes, as though the sight of her has hit him. But he's quick to stop looking and turns back to her to give her a small peck on the lips. And she thinks — she truly thinks— that maybe they will be fine.
DAISY
Warren joins them in a rush, with a cigarette on his lips, and he gives Eddie a quick hello as he turns to Daisy and her boyfriend.
"Hey to you too, man," Reid says jokingly.
Eddie can't help but notice how Daisy grins when he speaks, how her whole face lights up with his tone. He was happy for her — she deserved a good man, someone who would love her only, and she finally chose wisely. He can't help but feel happy for her. She always deserved better than Billy, anyway.
"I'm sorry, man, weddings are so stressful." He apologizes, doing a handshake with Daisy's boyfriend, showing a level of trust Eddie is surprised with. Is Warren just good friends with everyone? "Why didn't you warn me, Daisy?"
"I have only been to one wedding, Warren, and it was far from these." She says.
"Well, I came here to announce it's your turn, baby. Make me proud," Warren asks, and Daisy smiles softly as she nods.
Daisy says goodbye to them all quickly and goes to the stage soon. When Lisa asked her to sing at her wedding reception, she was not surprised, but the song choice was not her favourite.
Lisa loves 'It Was Always You'; it's one of her favourite songs, and she practically begged Daisy to perform it at her wedding reception. Daisy tried to talk her out of it, suggesting any other love songs she has ever done — there are not a lot of those, but she has done enough for Lisa to choose any other. But Lisa was determined: she wanted 'It was always you', and she would get it no matter what. And who was Daisy to deny the bride anything on her wedding day? Plus, she had gotten better at disassociating from the songs she wrote about Billy back in Chicago.
As she gets on the microphone, she gives a soft smile to the audience. Everyone is gathered there, taking a seat, and her eyes fall on her friends, holding hands and looking so happy and in love that she can't help but smile at them.
When Warren asked for help to ask for Lisa's hand, she jumped excitedly. She knew, deep down, that Warren would be the first one of them to marry. From the very first moment she met Lisa, she just knew. So she got Reid to help —not like she had to ask for long; he loved Lisa and Warren as well— and together, they made the proposal of Lisa's dreams.
She hasn't attended many weddings, but she believes this one is cheerful and full of love. Maybe it's because she helped Lisa plan most of it.
"Well, it's me." She says on the microphone, and everyone claps at her. "I was asked to sing a love song for the bride, so here it is. Hope you enjoy it."
When the melody of 'It Was Always You' starts, she focuses entirely on the words she's singing and on giving them as much emotion as possible. Which proves not to be challenging the moment her eyes meet Billy's. She's tempted to scream, but she holds herself together and just goes through the song with her eyes glued to his, incapable of looking any other way.
She was not dumb. She knew he was invited; he would have never asked Warren not to do it. She just... didn't think he would make it, that he would accept the invitation.
He doesn't look one bit like he did in Chicago, which she thinks is for the better. His curls are all the same, though, and he has a slight grin on his lips that makes her smile right back. She quickly notices he isn't alone, and the moment she catches a glimpse of Camila, she makes sure to stop looking at Billy and keep the song going without ever looking in their direction again.
When she finishes the song, she sees Lisa is crying with emotion, and Warren is kissing her temple all so lovingly. She gets a standing ovation, and she watches the exact moment Billy stands up along with Graham and Jeanie to clap for her. She smiles, almost shily. She has done stadiums, world tours, and all types of performances, yet this feels like the most impactful standing ovation she's ever received because all members of the Six are looking at her, clapping with slight smiles directed at her and her only.
When she's ready to get down from the stage, Warren comes running to her.
"Dais, I'm going to need a favour." He sounds desperate, and Daisy frowns and waits for him to continue. "The band bailed on us.
Daisy can't believe that. How does any band bail on a party full of celebrities? It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make it big.
"So I'm just going to go up there myself," Warren says. "But I do not know how to sing."
"Well, I can stay." She offers kindly. It's the bare minimum she could do for him.
"Karen and Eddie agreed to play, too," Warren says, getting to the drums.
That's when Daisy's confusion fades away, and she starts watching this situation for what it really is. She's being trapped in a reunion, and she can't help but be excited about it.
BILLY
When Lisa passes by their side, she is crying, and it's not because of Daisy's performance. Her sobs are so audible Billy is afraid Australia is hearing her. She doesn't know what to do when a woman cries, so he just stands there, waiting for someone to take the first step.
Naive Jeanie, as kind as she is, goes, "Why are you crying?" and when Lisa turns to face her, she dramatically says:
"My wedding is ruined!"
"I'm sure it's not like that," Camila tries to comfort her, and Lisa cuts her out before she can say anything else.
"It is. The band bailed on us, and no one will play the guitar, and it's my favourite instrument. I had such an amazing wedding, and now it's ruined!" And she cries more, to the point Jeanie makes a face.
She hates sad people at weddings and can't bear the thought of someone being unhappy on their wedding day. Maybe that's why she turns to both Graham and Billy.
"Don't you both play the guitar?" She asks them. They both nod, even though they wish they didn't have to. "Then go on stage and help her."
Graham starts to deny with his head, and Billy is paralyzed in fear. On stage, there is Eddie and Karen, whom he last talked to in forever, but most importantly, there's Daisy. He can't ever get back on stage, more so if Daisy is in it. He just can't. He looks at Camila, trying to find an escape, thinking she will find a way to get him out of this mess.
But Camila surprises him, saying, "You should go. We shouldn't let her wedding be ruined." And she smiles at Lisa, a half-smile that doesn't reach her eyes.
"Cam, I..." He tries to say, but Camila stops him.
"It's all behind us, right?" She asks, and Billy swallows. "Then go to that stage and prove it."
CAMILA
She doesn't know why she does it and regrets it the moment she watches Billy walk to the stage as if his feet were made of lead and he couldn't lift them off the ground to get on stage. She must find out what she's trying to prove or to whom.
She just knows that she doesn't want to be the one to stop her husband from making music with the people that she knows mean so much to him. And, if she's more honest, she does it for herself. Because she misses the way things were before, with all of them. She misses hearing Billy doing melodies and scribbling lyrics in his notebook, and the person who is at home now is perfect, but it's not her husband. Because she misses him, and the life they are having now is comfortable, but it's not what she wants. It's not what she has ever wanted.
So she watches her husband get on stage and looks into Daisy Jones' eyes for a frightening second, both so quiet and awkward it's almost hard to watch, knowing everything they used to be and share. But when Daisy Jones smiles, so does he. And when Daisy offers him her microphone, he takes it. And they sing, in one microphone, for old times' sake, and it's still electric and good, and it makes everyone in the room feel like they're witnessing something that won't ever happen again.
Camila truly believes this is the feeling she has been missing for six years. She didn't realize how much of Billy was gone until she saw him on stage again with Daisy Jones.