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Five years.
The professor went missing for five years.
Someone thought she was dead, someone else thought she hid to avoid the war.
But Dimitri didn’t believe to any of this. His professor couldn’t be dead, netherless flied away from the conflict. She was too brave, too strong, to leave them so easily.
No. Something wasn’t right, and Dimitri could swear it was the Empire’s fault.
Edelgard, the new Empress of Adrestia, declared war to the Church of Seiros suddenly. From now on, everything went horribly. Dimitri saw his classmates divided in two opposite factions, fighting to death one versus another, forgetting all the friendships that were made during their time at the Officer’s Academy. Dimitri saw imperial soldiers slaying the monks without any regret, marching over the innocent people’s house. And on top of that, Dimitri saw his Byleth falling in an endless cliff.
But she couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t just ‘accept’ such a chance. And with this hope in the heart, he managed to stay lucid during her five years missing. His goal was to find her. And he would have killed anyone to reach his goal.
“I need a healer, hurry up!”
“It’s a miracle that with all these wounds she’s still alive…”
“But… it is really her? Are we sure?”
“Of course, Annie, don’t you recognize her?”
“Yes, but… we all saw her falling…”
Dimitri ran toward the army patrol that had the task to explore the Enbarr castle’s underground. They had just came back, and right after Dimitri’ve heard the news he rushed to them. He needed to know. He needed to find out. He needed to see with his own eye his beloved.
Short of breath, he stopped before Mercedes and Annette, who were trying to cast the healing spells on a figure layed on one of the infirmary’s beds. Hearing his steps, the two girls turned to him, showing no sign of surprise at the prince’s view.
“Your Highness, we’re still working on the healing…”
“I don’t care! Is she… Tell me she’s okay, tell me she will be okay!”
The girls stepped back a little, to make Dimitri see who was resting on the bed.
Byleth.
His Byleth, finally back to his arms.
It seemed the five years did nothing to her already perfect face. Even her hair’s lenght seemed to be the same as the last time he saw her.
The woman had her eyes closed and was breathing, fleebely but she was breathing.
“She still hasn’t woken up?”, asked Dimitri with a whisper.
Mercedes shook her head. “As I was saying, we’re still healing her. The mission went a bit bloodier than the expected, and the professor ended up wounded before we could do anything. But we’re here, Dimitri, she’s here, that’s what it matters now. You’ll just have to wait a bit longer”.
Dimitri breathed deeply, trying to calm his nerves. Mercedes was right, the professor needed to rest, after being held prisoner for five years. But he couldn’t help to look at her closely, to admire her face after so long.
“My beloved…” he whispered, caressing her cheek.
And then, it happened.
Byleth opened her eyes wide. But right before Dimitri could smile in relief, he noticed something was wrong. It was just for a moment. Her eyes- once smerald like her hair- now were red as blood.
For a moment, Byleth smiled.
The next moment, her hands were squeezing Dimitri’s neck, ready to snap it without hesitation.
Unable to react, Dimitri shut his eye open, his brain was working in slow-motion, trying to understand what was happening. His beloved woke up, and she was trying to throttle him.
“Kill… kill…” said the professor, squeezing harder.
“NO!”
A Cutting gale hit the woman’s body, and she let go Dimitri’s neck. Magic chains wrapped up her body, making her unable to move.
“Free me!”
Something was wrong. That was not the professor’s voice. It was deeper, almost guttural. Nothing was left of the sweet voice Dimitri felt in love with.
“By… Byleth…” Dimitri touched his neck, still unable to understand what happened.
His professor, who went missing for five years, finally woke up, and the first thing she did was trying to kill him.
Dimitri watched the sky above the ruined Cathedral’s ceiling. The professor’s attack didn’t leave wounds, he just needed to use a healing impact on his neck. But there was nothing left to do for his heart.
Mental manipulation, they said. The professor fell victim of an evil trick Dimitri considered too much even for the Empire. Not knowing well how, the Empire managed to change every Byleth’s memories, making new bad ones and deleting the good true ones. So, in Byleth’s eyes, Dimitri was nothing more than a blood-stained monster, guilty of the war and all the destruction, and guilty of her imprisonment.
Professor Hannemann examined her multiple times, making her multiple questions. It seemed Byleth remembered pretty well her time at the Officers Academy; she recognized her students and her collogues. And she wasn’t hostile with them, at all. She was grateful to know they were still alive, to see them visiting her. But not Dimitri. Everytime the prince was mentioned, Byleth got incredibly angry, losing her control. She screamed he was a beast, guilty of the war, that he abandoned her and made her suffer all those terrible experiments.
Mental manipulatution, they said. Dimitri couldn’t help but to feel responsible. Because the Empress’s goal was very clear: to torment him, using her. Trying to make him lose his mind, destroying the only good thing that happened to him since the Tragedy of Duscur.
Dimitri watched the sky above the ruined Cathedral’s ceiling, but the stars were blurried. Heavy tears were running through his face. It was his fault, it was all his fault; Byleth was right.
Byleth was being kept in her former bedroom in the monastery. Dimitri was concerned, wouldn’t it be better to bring her to the infirmary, under Manuela’s eyes? But professor Hanneman thought she should stay in her old, true life places, in order to make her recover her memories.
Dimitri didn’t want to express the real issues with the plan. He surely couldn’t tell about the countless time he and the professor took a tea on her room, spending hours and hours chatting. He couldn’t tell about their first kiss, or their first night together. He couldn’t tell about all the nights he slept with her, his only light that could bring him to sleep.
But, it seemed being in her old room didn’t bother the professor. She gladly accepted to get back to her room, and she didn’t even protest at the promise to being held there.
And then it hit Dimitri. Mental manipulation.
His Byleth had forgot everything about them.
The Blue Lions went every day to visit her, and then report Dimitri everything. The professor got her colour back, the professor got her typical hungry back, the professor asked to spar with me. For a brief, little second, each time Dimitri hoped that the woman he loved was miraculously back to him. The sweet, generous, strong, sincere, beautiful Byleth was just like the woman he remembered.
So, one day professor Hanneman told him he could go visit Byleth. The professor would have her hands chained, and the door would have been to remain open, in order to Manuela and Hanneman to intervene, if necessary.
Hanneman slowly opened the door, so he could check Byleth. With a nod, he told Dimitri to go. In silence, he obeyed.
The professor’s room was just like he remembered. The shell with the tactic books, the desk covered in papers, even the old box she used to store the lost items to give back. The bed was perfectly made, she sitting upon it.
Byleth slowly turned her head to the door, and watched Dimitri enter the room with an illegible face. But it wasn’t the same stoic expression of when he met her; her red eyes betrayed the mix of negative emotions she was feeling.
Dimitri was quiet, realizing too late he didn’t know what to say. Or rather, he did know what he would want to say. But, he knew he couldn’t. ‘I missed you; I looked for you for so long; You’re finally back to me, my beloved...’, those were words the woman in front of him wouldn’t understand.
He tried to hold back the tears.
“What do you want?”
Her question was like a cold shower. What did he want? To hug her, to kiss her, to hold her hands, to tell her everything was going to be okay.
“Just wanted to check how you were”, he said instead.
Byleth snorted. “As you don’t know”.
Dimitri could feel Hanneman and Manuela’s worried gazes. He could run away in any moment, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. If there was even a little spark of hope for the old professor to be still there, it was his task to fight to find her. He waited for five years; he would wait another fifty to have his beloved back.
“No, Byleth, I do not know. That’s why I’m here”.
The professor’s head turned to him. “Don’t act clueless! You were at Enbarr too, you made me those scars, you made me feel all that pain…” The woman began to shiver. Dimitri was about to lose his composure and held her in his arms.
“No, professor. It wasn’t me. It was the Empire. I’ve always stayed at the Monastery; any person here can tell”.
The woman furrowed her forehead. “Lies. Lies. You tricked them too. You were there! I saw you! It’s… it’s your fault!”
The professor tried to free herself from the arms chains. Dimitri saw professor Hanneman behind him about to intervene, but he told him with a look to let them alone. Byleth had to listen to him.
“What, professor, what is my fault? What happened to you in the last five years?”
“You know damn well! You tortured me, and you keep on torturing me even now, making me remember those terrible moments…”
Dimitri’s heart sank. The woman was half-right; to make her remember what happened was surely painful. But he had to. To clear her mind. To free her heart from the evils’ Empress.
“No, professor, it was not me. It was the Empire. They lied to you, they made you think it was me all along, but…” He couldn’t keep his tears anymore. “I could never hurt you, Byleth. I’d rather rip my heart off my chest than hurting a hair of you”.
The woman was silent, watching the floor.
“I know you talked with my old classmates. What do you remember about them?” Dimitri asked, trying to change the topic. Professor Hanneman thought speaking about her others Blue Lions old memories in order to find her true memory of Dimitri was a way worth to try.
Byleth shot a glare to him, then her eyes went back to the floor. “I remember Sylvain. He flirted with every girl and woman at the monastery, trying to hide the deep pain in his hearts. I remember Ingrid, his childhood friend, who always scolded him, in order to better his behavior, while trying to become the ideal knight she wished to be. I remember Annette and Mercedes, who always cooked me some sweets… they talked so much during class, and even if I always told them to stop, they kept on with innocence. I remember Ashe, Lonato’s son, pure of heart and great archer. I remember… I remember Dedue. And I remember Felix. He… hated you. He used to call you ‘boar’. He hated you for the beast you are. But now, he tells me… he was wrong. You manage to trick even Felix? How did you do that?! How did you manage to brainwash the entire monastery?!”
The woman was now trying again to free herself from the chains. Before Dimitri could react, Hanneman ran in to the room with a soporific potion in his hand.
“I will never forgive you! You will never be forgiven, boar prince!”
“Well, Your Highness… it was slightly better than my darkest expectations. At least this time she didn’t try to break your neck right after seeing you”.
Hannemann’s stoic tone make him get an angry gaze from Dimitri, but the man was right. It seemed Byleth lost herself only when she thought about the relationship between the Blue Lions and Dimitri. She remembered Felix, she remembered he used to call him boar. But, it seemed she didn’t remember all the story.
“What if… what if she’s right?”
Hanneman and Manuela looked at him in confusion.
“What if it actually was all my fault? Her kidnapping, her imprisonment… they took her only because I wasn’t with her like I promised. And she’s right, Felix was right. I’m just but a beast that can kill. I spent the last five years fighting with imperial soldiers, attacking towns and cities, looking for her, but… at what cost? How many lives I’ve taken for her? Maybe she’s right. I’m just a monster, and it’s all my fault”.
He felt Manuela’s hand reaching his shoulder. “Don’t say such things, Your Highness. It isn’t you fault they took her. Don’t forget the real enemy: the Empire, not yourself. Right now, all you can do is believe in her, believe everything will be okay, not lose hope that one day, our dear professor will be back to us”.
“But with the others… with you all… she’s normal! It’s because of me, if I’d leave the monastery…”
“No, Your Highness”, Hanneman interrupted him. “I can’t let you just leave. The Resistance needs you, Faerghus needs you”. He hesitated for a moment. “She needs you, even if she doesn’t know yet. Manuela is right. Don’t be so hard on yourself”.
Dimitri stood up, feeling the tears coming. “Very well”, he said to dismiss himself, running away from the room.
Hope… It was her, all those years ago, to teach him how to wish for a better future. A bright future, where he could wish to live for himself.
‘Perhaps it would make more sense to wish that we'll be together forever. What do you think?’
To be together forever. It was his only wish, from the first time he saw her eyes. Her beautiful lavender eyes, at first the only window to her true emotions, the ones that proved him she was human. Despite her coldness in killing the enemies, she was a gold-heart person, kind and sweet, ready to kill anyone for her students. And what about the first time they got brighter, the first time he saw her true smile! Her face was like pure light when she agreed to smile again for him. That mesmerizing, beloved smile.
Dimitri’s heart sank. Will he ever see that smile again?
One day, Hanneman proposed a new plan.
“We need to have her fight on the front lines against the Empire”, he was saying. “Regarding the war, she has rather confused ideas. She acknowledges that Edelgard declared war on the Church, and at the same time, she believes that Dimitri has been her accomplice all this time. And she refuses to accept that the true resistance army has its heart in Faerghus. If we can press on this point, perhaps she will be convinced that Dimitri has no ties to the Empire”.
Suddenly, Dimitri realized something. “I know why she believes I'm allied with Edelgard”.
Everyone looked at him with questioning expressions.
“Some time ago... I told her that Edelgard and I were childhood friends. And that before Edelgard’s departure, I gave her a dagger...”
“Wait, Your Highness, what?!” Sylvain exclaimed, incredulous. “Are you telling me that your dagger sweetheart was the imperial princess?! AH! What a twist, my boy...”
Dimitri sighed loudly. “Sylvain, if you have any more foolish things to say, please keep them to yourself”.
Manuela also seemed to suddenly realize something. “I... I remember... one day, we went out to dinner and had drinks, like responsible adult women usually do, of course... And... she was oddly concerned about the ambiguous dynamics between you and Edelgard...”
Dimitri felt his cheeks heat up, something that hadn’t happened in a long time. He tried to ignore the matter. “So, it's likely that she believes I have a deep connection to Edelgard. If that... if that is true... there's only one thing left for me to do”.
Once again, Hanneman arranged a meeting between Dimitri and Byleth. But this time, Dimitri requested privacy.
He knocked on that familiar door, waited for a few seconds, and then a faint “Come in” allowed him to enter.
The professor’s room was as he remembered it; the only exception was that the woman had only her hands bound, not connected to the bed.
Dimitri took a deep breath. “Hello, professor”.
“What do you want now?”
“Let me ask you something”, Dimitri said as he approached. “Have you ever thought there was something between me and Edelgard?”
For the first time in a long time, he saw the professor’s cheeks blush. An embarrassment that didn’t extend to her eyes, however. “What... what kind of question is this?”
“You believe that I'm allied with the Empire due to my old feelings for Edelgard”, Dimitri continued, closing the distance between them. “That’s why you believe I’m the enemy. But it’s not true, Byleth. I am, and will forever be, on your side. Against every enemy, against every obstacle”. He had come close enough to touch her, but he stopped just in time. "”o you remember when Kronya killed your father, professor? She was Edelgard’s ally, not mine. Do you remember how I reacted when I found out that Edelgard was the Flame Empress, responsible for the tragedy of Duscur?”
Only then did Dimitri realize that Byleth was doing everything possible to avoid eye contact. “You were just pretending”, she finally said.
Dimitri held her hands. “Do you really think such emotions can be pretended? It’s true, I’ve acted for much of my life. I played the role of the nice and kind prince, while my only goal was to destroy those responsible for the tragedy of Duscur. Hatred and revenge were driving every action of mine. But then something changed”. He gently held her chin to meet her eyes. For a moment, it seemed like they had returned to their usual mint color. “I met you, Byleth. I met you, and it was like seeing the light again after years of darkness. Thanks to you, I climbed back from the abyss; thanks to you, I found a valid reason for living”. He gently caressed her cheek. “To build a world where no one would have to lose their life in vain, where I could stay by your side forever. Do you remember, Byleth? Do you remember the night on the Tower of the Goddess?”
A tear welled up in the professor’s right eye. One eye had returned to green, the other remained blood-red.
“... Dimitri?” she whispered at last, her voice trembling.
Without answering, Dimitri pressed his lips to hers. It was a gentle gesture, devoid of the hunger that had haunted him for the past five years. More than an attack, it was an invitation, a search for the woman he loved, who he knew was still there. She trembled; she didn’t reciprocate, nor did she pull away. They stayed like that for a few minutes, both unable to do anything. In the end, Dimitri started to pull away just as Byleth leaned towards him: for a moment they froze, both shocked; then Dimitri took hold of her face with his hands and pulled her in, this time into a real kiss. Returned.
They remained that way for minutes, or perhaps hours, until Byleth began to tremble. “No... no!” she exclaimed, breaking the kiss. She went to cover her ears but soon realized she was handcuffed.
“I... You... NO!”
She started screaming; alarmed, Dimitri tried to hold her in his arms, to calm her down, but it was utterly useless: it seemed that this time she possessed a superhuman strength.
“You.. and Edelgard… you betrayed me… NO!”
Among the tears that had begun to streak her face, Dimitri could notice the same strange phenomenon as before: her eyes irregularly shone first with green and then with red.
And then, suddenly, Byleth collapsed unconscious.
Mind manipulation. Dimitri had no choice but to play the same cards as the Empire.
He changed his hairstyle, gathering his golden locks into a small ponytail at the nape of his neck. For a moment, he thought about removing the eyepatch, but for medical reasons, Manuela didn’t let him.
Every day, he brought meals to the professor. He accompanied her to the bathroom, being her escort, kept her under control. If he couldn’t restore the positive memories she had of him, he would create new ones, he told himself. He would be her shoulder, her crutch, whatever she needed.
After a few months, she asked him to stay with her until she fell asleep. Shadows remind me of monsters; she had said. And Dimitri was more than happy to comply with her request. For nights, he watched her fall asleep, close her eyes and find the typical serenity of dreams. He got into the habit of stroking her hair and then holding her hand.
Mind manipulation. He didn't know if what he was doing was true mind manipulation; he only knew that it seemed to be working.
One day, he got injured in battle and had to spend the night in the infirmary. The next morning, Manuela informed him that Byleth had spent the whole night calling his name, refusing to sleep without him. His heart tightened; both because he felt sorry that his beloved had spent the night awake, and for a more selfish reason.
He didn’t spend another night away from her.
One day, Byleth made room in her bed. Sleep with me; she had said. If I wake up in the middle of the night and you’re not there, I can’t fall back asleep; she explained. Dimitri hesitated for a moment; what would Hanneman and Manuela say? Was it safe for him to be invulnerable in her presence?
But it was her eyes that gave him confidence. One eye had permanently turned emerald green, while the other still oscillated between green and red. But the red was becoming less frequent, increasingly dim. Whatever curse the Empire had inflicted on her was being broken.
Dimitri lay down beside her and held her in his arms, a movement so natural for him yet now unfamiliar to her. He held her tightly, stroking her chamomile-scented hair. Her arms encircled his chest, and her head rested on his chest; Dimitri hadn't felt this good in years.
Two years passed before the red disappeared forever, the two years it took to conclude the war. Byleth participated on the front lines in the final battle and delivered the decisive blow against the Empress herself. For a moment, her eyes seemed to turn red again, that red that terrified Dimitri so much; but he soon realized that it was only the reflection of the imperial armor, and of the blood flowing from her lost sister’s chest. Byleth turned around, and for the first time in seven years, Dimitri’s icy blue eye met two shining emeralds.
“It’s over”, Byleth simply said. “I’m back”.