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"Seriously, what was that?"
Richard said as soon as the front door was closed.
"What was what?" Erlich shrugged off his suit and tossed it to the table.
"You. talking to that guy to stop looking at me pervertedly. You always do that."
"I'm just defending your virtue, Richard. Even if he's a possible investor we can't let him do unspeakable things to you. With his eyes."
"Defending my..." Richard was flabbergasted. "I don't need you to defend my virtue! Who even say things like that anymore anyway."
"Yes you do, Richard. You might not realise it but you give off this hapless maiden vibe really strongly. The kind of maiden that sleazy old man like that dude like to take advantage of."
"I'm..." Richard was really speechless. He didn't even know where to start.
"First of all, I'm not a ~maiden~," he made a quote sign with his fingers. "And second, I can take care of myself. I don't need you to ~protect~ me," he made the fingers sign again.
Erlich looked at him and sighed before he stood up, strode to Richard and swiftly pinned him to the wall. Then he nudged his knee in between Richard's legs.
Richard stared at him with eyes wide open.
"See," Erlich said softly, "it's that kind of look that makes me want to ravish you completely. And I know, Richard. I know how they look at you. Let me take care of you, okay."
He stepped back, kneeled on one knee, and left the room.
"Was that supposed to imitate a knight?" Richard asked but nobody answered.
+++
The next few days were awkward for Richard. Whenever he saw Erlich he remembered their conversation, even though Erlich was acting like nothing happened.
But Richard had been thinking. About the way Erlich pinned him to the wall. And the way his body pretty much covered him. And the way Erlich looked at him...
He had to talk to Erlich.
+++
"What is it, Richard?" Erlich looked up to him from his laptop. Richard closed the door to Erlich's room behind him.
"I've been thinking," Richard spoke, "about what you said," he fidgeted with the end of his sleeves.
"What?"
"You said you were going to take care of me," his voice was barely audible. "Shouldn't you, um, take responsibility and make me yours... or something?"
Erlich looked at him open-mouthed, then he started to laugh. Loudly. "You really believe what I said about your virtue and all? I was fucking with you, Richard. I always say that kind of thing to clients because it caught them off-guard, and it's easier to negotiate with them that way," he wiped a tear from his eye.
"Oh," Richard could only say. And hoped the earth opened up and swallowed him whole. "I," he tried, but then stopped, and reached for the doorknob hoping to get away from the room as fast as humanly possible.
"Wait!" Erlich practically jumped and slammed the door closed. "It doesn't mean I decline your request to ravish you completely," Erlich smiled.
"I didn't say that!"
"But do you want me to?" Erlich smiled.
"Yes?" Richard smiled too, and Erlich pounced on him.