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The amount of boxes wasn’t surprising, considering the whole married with children thing, but the fact that they were stored in Gerri’s home was. She had plenty of space but why she would want these things on hand was beyond Roman. Was the rate of climate controlled storage unit theft high these days?
While Gerri did actual work in her office, Roman would excuse himself and wander around. He started off in common areas that any visitor would have free range of: coat closet, guest bathroom, kitchen, dining room, living room. He wasn’t expecting a full Live, Laugh, Love Kellman gallery, but the few photos left him wanting. A young Gerri and a not-so-young Baird on their wedding day. Baird and the girls, one on his shoulders, the other wrapped around his leg. Gerri and the girls, slightly older, slightly smaller copies of their mother.
Roman cracked open the boxes a week after a post-bathroom snoop. Peeking behind closed doors landed him in a room with rows of shelves, each lined with meticulously labeled bankers boxes. A physical manifestation of Gerri’s compartmentalization. An evidence room of a life long lived. The sheer volume was shocking and Roman quickly made his way back to Gerri.
“Everything okay?”
“Got lost on my way to the little girl's room."
“Uh huh.” Gerri watched him over the rim of her glasses as he ran his fingers along her bookshelf.
She quickly realized where Roman was spending his bathroom breaks. There were only so many things he could get into with her bedroom strictly off limits. The storage room was the perfect place for him to stick his nose. Whenever she peeked in after he left for the night, she was impressed to see that he clearly was trying to maintain order.
Gerri never brought up his unauthorized trips down her memory lane which proved to be a massive mistake the day Roman sauntered into her office with a big grin and his hands behind his back.
“Ger, are you a fan of Halloween?” Trying to make sense of a completely incoherent email from Greg, she didn’t respond. “You know, ghouls and goblins and scantily clad women?” His affectation decidedly Collingwood.
“No, not particularly.” Gerri sighed. “Are you?” He backed away from the edge of her desk, the creak of leather sounding as he settled on the couch.
“Funny you should ask because I think I just found my costume while I was-”
“Roman,” Gerri cut him off and leaned around her computer to look at him. He was stretched across the length of the couch, propped up on his elbow. “Roman.” A warning. His responding grin was lazy and all too pleased.
“What do you think?” He tugged at the felt of the headband. “Pivot from slime puppy and break into another equally disgusting sector?” As far as she could tell, Roman had been making his way through the boxes in chronological order but the black cat ears pushing his hair back clearly indicated a jump in the timeline.
“I think that you shouldn’t touch other people’s things without their permission.” She settled back in her chair as he approached her once more.
“Oh, but you knew I was snuffling around in there this whole time. So. Let’s hear it, Pussy Galore.”
Gerri was drafting a case note when she heard the front door open. “Honey?” Baird called out for her, heavy steps coming down the hall.
“Kitchen!” She looked to the doorway, his smile bright as he rounded the corner to press a kiss to her cheek. Humming in response Gerri set her pen down. “Are we still on or has he come to his senses?” Baird let out a bark of laughter as he placed his briefcase on the island.
“Still on. I have to say, while this is entirely unprecedented and potentially grounds for questioning sanity, I am a little excited.”
“Your sanity or his?”
When Baird first told her that Logan was interested in throwing a Halloween party, Gerri had laughed. But as October loomed, and with regular updates from Baird, an official invitation to the first ever Waystar Royco Halloween party materialized in their mailbox.
The firm Gerri worked at threw an annual party but that was an entirely different environment. And she never went anyway. The idea of Logan Roy celebrating something as frivolous as Halloween was inconceivable. The fact that it had come to fruition and he was calling on his employees to celebrate alongside him, costumes and all, was stupefying.
“So, I know you said you didn’t want to dress up,” Baird turned away to dig in the fridge, “but I had my assistant run out and get something for you. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to.” He cracked his water bottle open and sat next to Gerri. “But I know Logan would really appreciate the effort.”
“Oh, I’m sure he would.” Gerri rolled her eyes and collected the papers in front of her as Baird set his water down to place a hand on her thigh. “Need I remind you that he is your boss and not mine?”
“Will you at least look at what I got? And if you don’t like it, you can skip the whole thing.”
“Fine.” Gerri knew that every moment spent in Logan’s presence was beneficial to her career. Not that she had mentioned any of her aspirations to Baird yet. “Where is it?”
”That’s my girl.” Baird squeezed her leg before reaching across her to grab his briefcase. “Go ahead.”
She eyed him suspiciously as she felt for the clasps and as soon as she laid eyes on what her husband had purchased, she slammed the lid shut. “Real nice, Baird.”
Baird opened the briefcase and grabbed the offending item. “You said you didn’t want to do a costume. This way you can wear whatever you like.” He moved forward as if to place the headband on her but Gerri snatched it out of his hands.
“What, were they out of rabbit ears?” Gerri turned to him, brows furrowed as she fiddled with the headband to center the ears.
Baird cupped her chin in his hand and traced his thumb over her jaw. “You’re one cute kitten, Kellman.”
“And you won’t be the only one to think so. I could be covered head to toe and your colleagues would still be imagining what I look like in nothing but this.” Gerri pointed up at the ears.
Baird’s fond gaze darkened slightly and he dropped his hand to trace the neckline of her sweater. “Now there’s an idea.”
“Baird, be serious.” Gerri grabbed his hand and settled it in her lap, traced his fingers as his eyes shifted up to the ears then back down to her eyes.
“It’s quite a compelling image but you’re right. Definitely can’t give them the opportunity.”
“So that’s that.”
“That’s that.” He agreed. “Ger, you really do look adorable.”
“Thank you, honey. So, what are you dressing up as then?”
Baird sat up straighter, smoothed his hair and tie, and pushed his glasses up his nose. “Clark Kent.”
He was so handsome with that big grin of his that Gerri couldn’t help but lean forward to give him a quick kiss. “Just another day at the office for you.”
“I will admit it’s convenient but I did get the shirt, the Superman shirt. I’ll make sure it’s visible under everything so people know.”
“A superhero and a cat. Those costumes don’t exactly go together.”
“Sure they do. Superman,” Baird gestured between them, “and Catwoman.”
“Oh, honey. Batman and Catwoman.” Gerri corrected with a laugh.
“Batman?” Gerri nodded. “Darn it.”
Gerri led Roman back to the room and sighed at the mess he had made, years of October boxes scattered all over the floor. “I don’t know what came over me, Gerri. It’s like the spirit of Halloween possessed me.”
“And yet you haunt me year round.” She waved him over, cat ears still snug on his head. “You’re always full steam ahead before you’ve fully assessed the situation, Roman.” Gerri located the correct box and emptied the items out until she found a manila envelope. She pulled out a stack of polaroids and began shuffling. “Your dad wanted to throw a Halloween party. The first and last in Waystar history. It was a test. See what lengths his people would go to just to appease him.”
“Dad embarrassing his employees to prove a point? Never.”
Gerri found the exact photo she had in mind and handed it over. “He didn’t even dress up.”
The photo was of Logan, Gerri, and Baird. All three looked like they had stepped out of a meeting to have their picture taken with Gerri’s witch hat and Baird’s cat ears proving otherwise.
Gerri watched the delight bloom on Roman’s face as he took it in. “Gerri, don’t tell me you have some sort of animal thing.”
“Don’t be disgusting.” She scoffed.
“I mean, really- kitty cats and slime puppies? How did you convince him to wear that?”
“I can be very persuasive. He got shit from the guys for weeks after.”
“I bet he did.” Roman looked at the photo, then back at Gerri. “Hey, put them on?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Please.” Roman pleaded, cat ears and puppy dog eyes.
“No.”
“Oh, you’re such a witch. Where’s that at? You should sport it around the office. Wicked witch of Waystar, 30 years and counting.”
“Very funny.”
“Have you ever worn these?”
Gerri took the picture from Roman and traced a finger over Baird’s face. “He got them for me so yes, I’ve tried them on.”
“Mmm, sexy little sex kitten.”
Gerri looked up to catch Roman’s brow waggling. “Exactly why I didn’t wear them.”
“And?” Roman prompted.
“And what?” Gerri slid the photos back into the envelope and started reorganizing the box.
“You’re telling me your dirty old husband got these for you, saw you in them, and didn’t do anything about it?”
“Don’t call him that.”
“I meant it as a good thing! You know I love dirty old people.” Roman pulled the box out of her reach to get her attention. “Come on, Gerri, you can tell me. One blink for yes, two blinks for no.”
Gerri thought back to that very night, Baird’s face framed by her thighs, cat ears still on. She blinked once.
“Oh, fuck.” Roman groaned. “I knew it. You sickos. How many times?”
“No more questions.” Gerri pointed to the mess he had made of the storage room. “Put everything back the way you found it. Ears too. Don’t you go getting any ideas.”
“Ideas!” Roman crowed. “I have so many of them, Gerri. Ideas for days. You do realize that picture’s catalogued in my masturbatorium now.”
“Roman, your father is in that picture.”
“Nope, not anymore.” Roman tapped the side of his head. “Cropped him out before burning it into my noggin.”
“I’ll give you half an hour to put this room to rights. A second more and I’ll assume you’re up to no good, call down to security, and have you removed. Privileges revoked.”
“Gerri, don’t threaten me with an even better time than I’m already having.”