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Sonetto was nervous, maybe nervous isn't the right word for this, she sat patiently at her desk in her room, the lone night light lit up the book in her hands as she scanned the pages intently. Her professors would compliment her about her ethics whether it be at work, in school or even during her regular bouts to the library, always giving the material she was using the respect it deserved. But this evening, a cold seemingly boring evening, a dreaded feeling sank deep in her chest, her heartbeat was obnoxiously loud, it hammered in her mind. The rhythm was inconsistent, the palpitations were all over the place, her mind was muddled and her thoughts were strewn all over her room.
She took a careless peek at the calendar, the date flashed past her eyes as she refocused on the open book ahead of her. “Hmm.” She let out a rare sigh, the silence of the room was broken just like that. It was that silent in her room. She thinks back to a conversation days before, the talk with Vertin resurfaced her mind as she scaled into the words and pages.
Did Vertin tell you convey this to me?
Yes... It's only because Vertin is a friend ok! There is no truce between us!
It was a short-lived conversation and it wasn't even directly from Vertin but Sonetto always appreciated any sentiment from anyone who would talk to her, it was something to learn after all. The Foundation always made everything a learning point, or at least that’s how Sonetto had perceived all this. As she continued to trace each letter on the finely-pressed pages of her book, she found her eyes dazing away into the blank spaces. Her fingers curled the corner of the yellow-tinted page as she rubbed the paper between the slightly calloused hands. Spell casting was hard work, she probably should have bought moisturiser at the school shop if she knew she would delve this deep into magic.
At last, the pounding of her heart got to the better of her nerves as she picked up her glass pen in replacement of her book. She twirled the glossy clear object between her fingers once more, the motion a lot smoother than flipping pages. “Mmm…” She let out another sigh, this time however Sonetto didn’t try and stop herself, she made a mental note rearrange her thoughts as she forced herself to let loose some emotion. Sweat beats formed on her forehead as sparks of white mana bloomed like cotton budding around her pen. She dipped her pen into a puddle and she began to write, her emotions were converted into words as quickly as she could scribe them. Her thoughts were allowed to roam freely as it overflowed into the real world through her anecdotes, line after line she pushed them aside like how one would work with a typewriter, each sentence taking up a small column of space next to her. Words swirled around her, her eyes were shut tight, sweat continued to condense on her face and each scribble grew messier with each word. Sentences grew longer, from phrases grew lines, and from lines, paragraphs of Sonetto’s uncharted feelings surged forth. Sonetto exhaled, and with that the words on her walls, her skin and those that surrounded her burst into tiny fireworks, fading away back into the imaginary universe that held wherever her powers came from.
Sonetto opened her eyes, she wiped the sweat of the side of her head, the spirits in her mind faded to sleep as the essay of thoughts she wrote was shredded by the seconds, she was back to normal, her thoughts were back in place, her secrets still kept a secret and her feelings no longer a distraction. Sonetto took a deep breath, she looked up and despite nothing being said at all, the silence in her room was deafening as it was, and yet everything was as clear as spoken instructions to her, she carefully kept her glass pen in its’ holster, attaching it to her thigh. Sonetto stood up, tidied up her hair and opened her dorm door, her eyes darted left, then right. The coast was clear. The hallway was somehow more quiet than her room, every step she took seemed to echo and amplify as she drew close to the window at the end of the hall. She carefully slid the window upwards, looking down 8 stories as she drew another deep breath, it wasn't her last breath nor was it a difficult one to take, the drop down didn’t faze her at the least. A step forth and that might as well be the last step she took. Sonetto let herself draw another breath, she rearranged the words in her mind for the millionth time, the last draft, the final prototype. She should have taken a deeper breath, lest she know it would be her last one in a long, long time.
-
Sonetto woke up after an uneasy rest, blurred as her mind was, it relocated itself in its sea of memories, Vertin’s face flashed before her eyes, Sonetto shook that thought away, she stood up, walked straight to her bathroom. Washed her face, brushed her teeth and prepared for the day ahead of her. Her morning routine was as boring as you could imagine. She boiled water, took out the butter to defrost and hung her yesterday’s clothes before taking a much warranted shower, the warm water splashed off her skin as she rubbed her fingertips, to no one’s surprise, the calluses were still there. She got out, dried herself off, time had grown numb on her as she looked out at the morning sky, it felt like decades since that dreaded day, and it somehow felt even longer since the day she was appointed as Vertin’s personal assistant. Despite all that, she barely had any time at all to do her job. Given that she was separated while on their first mission back in February then right after that Vertin fell into a coma.
She glared at the calendar. It was almost the end of July and nothing was waking Vertin up, all sorts of medication was prescribed, proven methods to help patients with similar issues have also been tried to no avail. Sonetto cursed herself as she thought whether it was really worth it to give Vertin so much attention despite the lack of responses. Of course, she was an important person to Sonetto and many more. But she can’t help but see Vertin as another piece to the corporate chess board, ableist, a piece of good status, definitely higher than her but still nothing more than an over-fancied piece of plastic that was easily replaceable to the real players.
Sonetto blinks the sleepiness out of her eyes. She hasn’t seen any of her friends… Eh? Can she even call them friends? What are friends to her anyway. She makes herself a cup of tea, spreading the softened butter on her toast. Who can she even call a friend… Vertin? There was always an air of professionalism between them, whether they liked it or not, it wasn’t in Sonetto’s palace to decide. So who else was there. Matilda Bouanich, she was Sonetto’s self-proclaimed rival. Talking was one of the least things they did, or at least that’s what Sonetto felt. It was always a competition with her around and there was little actual interaction at least that was how Sonetto felt towards the blonde German? French? She didn’t remember. Quite disappointing even for her but that just proves her point, maybe she should be more friendly towards Matilda. So it seems like Sonetto can’t count Matilda in either. The team from their expedition was always almost nowhere to be seen in the Foundation.
Regulus from the stormy seas of England, Druvis from the 1920s Europe and the cheerful and upwards looking Sotheby. Their short, untimely acquaintance can barely be called a friendship. Untimely as it was… the 1920s was collapsing around them as they spoke, whether it was in the car, at the Walden or fighting whatever those monsters were. Whatever happened there, Sonetto will remember the sinking, neverending feeling of doom that seemed to follow her wherever she went. Dread… Fear… Scared… Scared. She was scared. Terrified, afraid, panicked, horrified petrified worried. Into the mix were all these nearly foreign emotions that made a delicate, volatile poison that ran through her veins. Sonetto felt a chill trace the line on her neck as she hesitantly tried to rub off the chills.
And like that Sonetto’s morning routine ended in her twirling her glass pen once more, looking out onto the artificial blue sky of the Foundation. Maybe today will be different.
"Maybe… Today’s the day.”
-
Sonetto thanked Ms Mesmer Jr. One of her classmates has now grown into a rather respectable person in the Foundation and was also in charge of caring for Vertin’s wellbeing, managing and monitoring every little thing that Vertin did during her daze was an important job and Sonetto thanked her as such.
There are 3 lines you need to worry about.
The first is pulse, the second is her hydration levels and the last one… is special.
What’s a special level?
… As straightforward as ever Ms Sonetto.
What I meant is that this last important detail you need to keep track of shows her emotional reaction.
The Foundation’s research opened up ways where mankind is now even able to regulate, control and monitor emotional output.
Oh, yes, please be wary of this last piece of advice for you, Ms Sonetto.
Yes?
Please avoid using your magic, it might affect the safety of everyone.
…Noted.
Sonetto relived the conversation in her mind once more, She observes the many lines that appeared on the monitor screen. Pulse was stable, her breathing was continuous without hitching, her face… Vertin’s face was calm. Too calm if Sonetto were to say herself. It was as if Vertin had no idea about the independent doom that could consume them both at any given time.
Of course, Vertin definitely knew about all of this, it's just something Sonetto couldn’t help but think when given enough time. Sonetto watches the steady inhale and exhale rhythm, her chest rising and falling like the crashing waves by the ocean. Sonetto exhales once more.
I've been forcing myself to breathe much more these days.
Sonetto noted to herself. Maybe work was getting to her. Maybe life was getting too tough. But these were all nothing more than “maybes” they wouldn't be real. They can’t be real. Sonetto backs up, she keeps her fears shut, silences her thoughts, and lets logic flow. She thinks back to when she had lost herself in work.
Sonetto sits down in front of Vertin’s seemingly soulless body, analysing her physical state. She was no physician nor was she exclusively close to Vertin but she couldn’t help but be worried sick. She felt her stomach twist and turn, her thoughts no longer in coherent sentences and her mind felt chummy, almost like a slushy. Sonetto instinctively reached for her pen, but stopped herself. Fortunately the thought of being unable to use her normal calming routine was more than enough to knock her back into her senses. Sonetto looks at Vertin once more, daring herself to inch forward towards the body. She reaches forth and gently open’s Vertin’s eyes. Her grey iris was as bland as ever but it seemed more dull than usual. Sonetto sighs and sits back down.
“There’s really nothing to say here, Timekeeper.”
Silence.
“I apologise for being unable to help you.”
Silence
“I will do better…”
The silence was deafening, it reminded her of that fateful day. Sonetto still remembers it like yesterday. Sonetto shakes her head, she can’t go back there, she refuses to go back there. Sonetto looks at Vertin once more, she doesn’t buy it, she refuses to buy into that. Sonetto reaches forth again, her fingers gently prying open Vertin’s eyes once more.
“Timekeeper…”
Sonetto looked at the time. It was almost up. Sonetto was a surprisingly busy person after returning and she couldn’t just stay next to Vertin’s side the whole day. She stood up, dusted her skirt, looking at the peaceful face that was resting in front of her. Her eyes shifted to the monitor, pulse and hydration levels look fine. The emotional content seemed to be a constant 0. The occasional miniature spike could be seen but it seemed almost as if something was stifling it down.
Sonetto urges herself to do something before she regrets it. Her fingers crawled forward to her pale hand, her fingers neatly placed onto the flat bed surface, crossed Vertin’s hands over her chest it would be nothing more than a funeral. Sonetto ended up deciding against it. She muttered a soft goodbye before she exits the room, her soft thud of the wooden door brought a different sensation to her mind.
Her eyes glanced left, then right. The ward felt cold and unforgiving. It somehow felt more quiet than Vertin’s room, every breath she took seemed to echo and amplify in the secluded hallway. Sonetto looks back through the glass in the door, her eyes shift from Vertin to the floor then back to her own still reflection. It wasn’t the Timekeeper who lost hope in her. It wasn’t the Timekeeper who had given up on her. It wasn’t her who had saved Sonetto back then, nor will it ever. Was what she told herself, now that the Timekeeper rests silently on that bed.
Sonetto focused on her reflection once more, it wasn’t The Timekeeper’s eyes that grew dull.
It was hers.