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When Jack sees that there is a light in his study, he knows that he isn't the only one who has had troubled dreams tonight.
"Professor?" he calls out as he enters through the door, finding Van Helsing standing by the window, holding the curtain open. Van Helsing tenses at his voice first, but once he glances over his shoulder and meets Jack's eyes, he relaxes, giving him a little smile. Flush threatens to spread over Jack's cheeks as he realizes that Van Helsing is wearing the robe Jack provided to him for the night, which is a little too tight for his broad shoulders and slighly too long for the length of his body, but it doesn't appear to be uncomfortable.
Still, Jack is being quite silly. He gave Van Helsing the robe himself; it's meant to be worn, so there is really no reason to get red in the face about it. But the rush of pleasure remains in his chest, making his heart flutter, and if he wasn't flushing for sure before, now he can definitely feel a pink tint on his cheeks. Shaking his head, Jack steps into the study, pacing over to Van Helsing to join him by the window.
"I see you couldn't sleep either?" he says, looking out. There is nothing unusual on the street; just some lone worker passing the house by, slight fog on the ground. Indeed, soon Van Helsing lets the curtain fall back to its place, turning towards Jack.
"Yes, I was a little restless tonight," Van Helsing admits. "Now, you must not blame yourself for that by any means, I just sleep badly every now and then. You gave me a comfortable bed and that's all I could ask for."
Smiling still, Van Helsing gives Jack a brisk pat on the shoulder before resting his palm down on it.
"And you?" Van Helsing asks. "What disturbs your sleep tonight, John?"
It should be easy enough to reply; work has been posing one challenge after another, and Jack has been struggling with more than one sleepless night. But Van Helsing's hand is warm and comforting on his shoulder and Jack wants to lean into its touch, wants Van Helsing to squeeze it with his firm, strong fingers, and these are thoughts he shouldn't be having around Van Helsing at all. He's ashamed of how easily they are coursing through his brain. He looks down, hesitating with his reply, and that's when Van Helsing grasps him by his other shoulder too.
"Since we are both awake," Van Helsing says, waiting until Jack looks up before continuing, "maybe we should take advantage of it. The last time we spent the night together like this, we tried a little bit of hypnosis to work through your problems. How would you feel about another session?"
The instant reply in Jack's brain is a yes.
"I don't know, Professor," he says instead, not wanting to outright to reject his friend. But he feels he should, because he doesn't like how quickly he agreed to the idea in his mind, how eager he is to take advantage of his friend. "You are my guest. It's me who should be looking after your needs, not the other way around."
"Now, John, you know that is nonsense." Van Helsing sighs, stroking his hands down to Jack's arms. "You know it wouldn't trouble me at all, and if nothing else, my needs involve the well-being of my host. Let me do what I can for you."
How is that Van Helsing is so skillful with his words? He could say any nonsense he wants, and Jack would still have the utmost faith in him. His resistance gone, Jack nods.
"Very well," he says. "Let us do it."
He tries to walk over to his desk and the chair by it, but Van Helsing shakes his head, bringing his hand to the small of Jack's back as he guides him to the armchair that's usually reserved for Jack's guests. It's strange to take a seat in it himself, but the chair is cozy and comfortable, which he supposes makes it suitable for the session that is about to take place. He looks up at Van Helsing, whose hands are on Jack's shoulders again briefly before pulling back, and he lifts his hands.
"Remember how it goes?" Van Helsing asks. "I want you to relax as much as you possibly can, and follow the movements of my hands."
Jack nods, and Van Helsing begins.
As before, there is delicacy and yet also power in Van Helsing's hands as they dance across Jack's vision, and it's easy to lose himself in that dance. It doesn't take long until Van Helsing stops, returning his hand on Jack's shoulder. That hand seems to spend a lot of time on Jack, lingering and clinging; not that he minds. If anything, he longs for its weight when it's gone.
"Faster than last time," Van Helsing notes. "I will say I'm relieved. You have been a little tense in my company, and I fear it's because I stepped over boundaries the last time we met. But it seems that if nothing else, you still trust me."
Van Helsing falls silent for a moment, after which he asks: "Do you still trust me, John?"
"With my life and more." Jack doesn't even have to think about the answer; in what world does he not trust in Van Helsing? He doesn't want to imagine such place. Van Helsing blinks, apparently surprised by the quickness of Jack's answer, before a tentative, hopeful smile spreads across his lips.
"I am glad," Van Helsing whispers. "You know, I do treasure our friendship. More than anything."
Van Helsing strokes his hand down to Jack's arm, speaking up:
"Now, it has been almost a month since our first session. We have only met a couple of times since then, but those meetings have been laced with tension, and I have spent many nights wondering why." His eyes turning serious, Van Helsing lets his hand drop off Jack. "Can you please tell me?"
"No," Jack says.
Hurt flashes across Van Helsing's eyes, and Jack regrets his response. Still, he remains silent, until Van Helsing asks in a hushed tone: "Why not?"
"Because I'm afraid that you will hate me." The mere idea steals the power from Jack's voice, turning his words into small, quiet whimpers. "And that's the one thing in the world I'm not ready to face."
Jack starts to shake, fear seeping into him. Van Helsing presses his lips together, his brow furrowing with thought. After a while, Van Helsing lowers himself down to his knees before Jack. Jack instantly wants to rise up and scold his friend, tell him he will get cold, but his body and mind are frozen, and all he can do is watch as Van Helsing reaches out and takes Jack's hands into his own, wrapping them into a warm grip.
"Nothing in this world can ever make me hate you," Van Helsing states, his voice impossibly soft. "You are a good man, John, and you are my friend. Whatever feelings you are having are all right and acceptable to have, and I would very much like to know about them. I want to get as close to you as I can."
Van Helsing lifts Jack's hands up, bringing Jack's knuckles over to his lips.
"Don't shut me out," he whispers, and kisses Jack on his knuckles.
It's overwhelming, the sheer amount of emotion that descends on John, making him shake all the way to his core. Jack looks into Van Helsing's eyes, which are bright and blue and so full of faith in Jack that Jack can't help but believe in himself, too. Jack inhales deep, trying to calm down the trembling animal inside him.
"I'm in love with you, professor. And although I could put this little truth away and not think about it before, something happened and I'm no longer able to do so." His voice is so string-tight that every word comes out as clipped. "I'm afraid of what will happen if I lose control around you."
Van Helsing kisses his hand again, making him groan in his throat. Pulling one hand free from their entanglement of hands, Van Helsing lifts his up to Jack's cheek, stroking it with tenderness that makes Jack want to howl.
"What's the worst thing that could happen?" Van Helsing asks.
"I would kiss you." Jack's mouth and throat feel parched now, and the words come out raw and painful. "I would kiss you, and you would recoil from me."
"What if I told you that wouldn't happen?" Van Helsing rises up from the floor, sliding his hand over to Jack's neck as he leans close to him. "What if I told you that your kiss would be most welcome?"
Laughter bursts out of Jack.
"I would be happy," he whispers. "I would be so, so happy."
Van Helsing is very close to him now, his lips just a breath away from Jack's own. His eyes are so close to Jack's eyes too, and Jack can see that they are shimmering slightly; at least he isn't the only one overcome by emotion.
"Then make yourself happy, John," Van Helsing says, touching his nose against Jack's. "Kiss me."
And Jack is lost.
He bounces up from his chair, slings his arms around Van Helsing's neck and closes the distance between their mouths, kissing him with all the tenderness, all the need he has inside his heart, all the worship he feels for this man. Van Helsing wraps an arm around him, pulling him upright, and they continue to kiss, Van Helsing's hand on the back of Jack's head, Jack clinging to Van Helsing. Jack kisses his mentor like he needs to devour him, eat him alive, his heart thundering in his chest. Van Helsing kisses him back; he's like the solid rock taking the waves of Jack's emotions, accepting but unyielding.
Jack is laughing when the kiss ends, when Van Helsing guides him back into the chair. Van Helsing's hands are stroking his face, wiping away the runaway tears that have slipped down on his cheeks, that Jack didn't even notice. Jack's laughter fades as Van Helsing kisses him on the forehead, as he steps away.
"Once again, I want you to remember all of this in the back of your mind, but not on the surface." Van Helsing swipes his own hair back, adjusts his night shirt underneath the robe and robe itself. Jack wants to kiss him again, but he's caught in Van Helsing's words now, and he has to listen. "But I want you know, John, that it's all right for you to be forward about your emotions to me. Don't hide your feelings. Trust that I will embrace you back."
Lifting up his hand, Van Helsing brings his thumb and middle finger together.
"I would very much like it if you kissed me like that without the aid of this, but it's up to you," Van Helsing says, a touch of wistfulness in his voice. "Now, when I snap my fingers, you will wake up. Take this to your heart, John."
Van Helsing snaps his fingers, and Jack is awake.
"It feels different this time around," he says instantly, wondering about his fast pulse. Obviously he got excitable about something during this session; he can only hope he behaved around his friend.
"It was a different kind of session this time, but hopefully a fruitful one," Van Helsing replies. He, too, looks just a tad flustered, but is otherwise his usual controlled self; it makes Jack wonder more about the contents of the session. But before he can voice his curiosity, Van Helsing steps forward, leaning down to grasp Jack by his shoulders.
Going silent, Jack waits for Van Helsing to speak.
"Do you want to remember what just took place?" Van Helsing asks, looking Jack in the eye.
Jack stares at Van Helsing's eyes, those striking, worried eyes, and at his mouth, which is a tense line right now. Without thinking about it too much, going by the instinct alone, Jack leans towards Van Helsing and kisses him.