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“Dinner is served!”
Garfield never really thought about doing much of anything. Because Garfield happened to be an obese housecat. And he liked being that way. Seriously, ask his roommates Jon and Odie. Sure, Jon happened to be a human who claimed to “own” Garfield as a “Pet”. But dont push it buster, humans have long since lost their connection to the moon and the magic of talking animals big and small all around them. Even a lazy fat feline could casually be annoyed by this on a day-day basis in the comfort of his own bed as his animal friends would often visit him and talk his ears off. Sometimes he just fell asleep in the middle of them talking and that was that.
But no, not this time. This was the time to RISE. With all the energy of his day compacted down into one split second, the cat rose to his hind legs and scrambled from his bed to the kitchen. It was all a blur, his feet like a propeller of a plane moving him towards his ultimate destination. His john in his peripheral, giving him a bug-eyed look of dread and holding up his hands to try to get the cat to stop. But there was no stopping Garfield from consuming. He was consumed. That is what he was known to do. This lazy house cat was now leaping into the air like an olympic athlete onto the kitchen table, where john sat screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
He could hear him, he just couldn't stop to care. All his instincts told him to consume the tray before him. This tray of green mush…this green soggy…bitter…mush… Hey what the heck is this?
“Come on! I want you to be nice to my dinner!” The man whined watching as his cat helplessly began gagging and then coughing up the food back onto the tray where it layed a mush partially chewed by a cat.
What the flying mouse traps did I just put in my mouth? The orange tabby looked dizzy.
John couldn't understand Garfield's internal monologue, but his pet’s body language told him all that he needed to know.
“Serves you right Garfield. You know I am used to you taking my food, that's why I started on this new diet. Its all foods you absolutely can't stand!” Admitted John, picking up the scraps from the table and scraping them on the tray to discard later.
Garfield dramatically placed his paws around his neck and looked at John wide eyed like he was choking in disbelief.
Diet!?! Brussel Sprouts? John! Poor sweet john!!! Have you gone mad!! Please tell me this is a dream?! Wake up john!!
Garfield grabbed his owner by the collar of his stupid looking blue knit sweater and shook him vigorously followed by a meaty slap to the face from his paw. John sat casually, and unphased with a grimace.
“Oh please now Garfield, don't act like you dont have at least a little bit of karma to pay up. Besides, I have perfectly good wet cat food in your dish ready for you always.”
Garfield gasped and swan dived off the table like a professional diver off the table and directly into his food dish resting innocently on the kitchen floor- something he hadn't done sense he was a kitten and began to shovel MASSIVE amounts of the food into his agaped mouth. He didn't stop until it was empty and he was gasping for air. He was patting his bloated belly, using the food dish as a chair when he heard the annoyingly familiar bounce and bark of the other animal that lived in his domain.
“ARF ARF!!”
Before the dog could slobber on Garfield, Garfield grabbed Odie's jowls and pulled him close.
“Odie, it's so tragic, you poor dumb mut, you don’t even understand what is happening, but our owner is going insane! He is sick in the brain. We need to stop him before it's too late!”
“Arf arf!”
“You said it. I have an idea odie, lets go wake up Walugia and get them to help us.”
Garfield and Odie set off to find Walugia. Both reminiscing of the last time they saw their dear friend. Now, you are probably wondering who Walugia is, but what's more important, what Walugia is not. Lugia is not Waluigi from the Mario franchise. Walugia is not Lugia from pokemon. Walugia isn't a productive member of society. Walugia is not powerless. Walugia isn't even a magical flying demigod from another world. That said, Walugia is an amalgamation of all these things put together. Walugia is a purple Walugia with a “w” embroidered hat that flies around John’s backyard when Garfield decides to perform on the wooden fence.
“Hoist me up dumb mutt” But Garfield is already pitifully climbing onto odie’s bulbous snout as the dog grunts. But as Garfield stands on the fence, you, the audience start booing. Oh, you. You did this, didn't you! You messed everything up! How dare you! They audacity! I thought you liked cartoon narcissistic cats! What? Is this not good enough for you? What are you going to do, throw rotten vegetables? Try me, pricks.
Just then, a bright yellow flash of light explodes and Garfield almost falls off the fence. He and odie look down at the lawn in disbelief to discover it is a glowing ear of corn. Another is thrown, then another. So much corn falling from the dark abyss in the sky. Oh god…why? Suddenly it's now raining corn and Garfield is struggling to not get hit on the head. Shortly thereafter, you, the audience, now change to tomatoes. (They are soft and squishy enough to get the point across.) Wait, are tomatoes fruits or vegitas? I didn't say Vegeta, I said veggies! Yes I did! I swear! No please don't do what I think you are going to do just because of one little typo from the writer. Please, I'm begging you. This isn't something to play around w-
The tomatoes then begin to float into the air and fuse into a glowing make figure. The figure is yelling loudly with his hair standing up on end.
“ARE YOU READY TO WITNESS A POWER NOT FOR SEEN FOR A THOUSAND YEARS?”
Odie and Garfield look at the floating armored humanoid before Garfield raises a finger and points.
“Only if it will help John get a new hobby, besides torturing me with bad food.”
Vageta now is bawling his eyes out like a newly wed before it turns immediately into maniacal laughter that causes the fur of the two pets to spike as they both shiver. Now, Garfield wasn't as much of a scaredy cat as much as he was now because he realized Vageta could now understand his thoughts.
“FOOL. THAT WAS ONLY PART OF THE PLAN TO DISTRACT YOU!”
Vageta laughs evilly. Garfield gasps and turns around to see his dumb dog of a roommate being slowly beamed up into a ship!
‘ODIE!! Bad boy! Come back here and stop being abducted this instant! Odie, don't leave! Odiiee!!”
Odie wines and cries, for he thinks Garfield is the one abandoning him sense he is too dull to understand he is being kidnapped by an alien spacecraft, but not too dull, that he didn't understand Garfield often didn't want him around. Odie’s perspective was: “Garfield is disappearing and that means Garfield doesn't love me anymore” Garfield's figure running in the lawn reaching up was getting smaller and eventually out of sight while he was being magnetically pulled by a UFO. It seems like the pair were always separated at a coincidental moment, almost like the writer preplaned it. But since the audience now has a say in what happens, I guess I will remain passive aggressive with how I tell it. I GUESS NO, NO GO, IT'S FIIIIINE, REALLY!
“NOW I GOT YOU!” Vageta laughs and shoots a energy flashwave final burst cannon into garfield
Miraculously, Walugio suddenly appears and in a flash, is- oh we're bringing back Walugia? I thought you didn't like that idea? Now suddenly it's all “WHERE’S WALUGIA? WAWAWEEWA '' - shielding Garfield with its massive wings that it uses to push back Vageta’s energy levels. Garfield gasps in amazement. Walugio turns its neck back to look at Garfield while it pushes the blast away and while it looks to be straining and struggling, Walugio manages to respond with a almighty
“WAAAAHH!”
“No walugia, don't do this! You are going to die, you hear me! I need to fight to save Jon and odie! We need to go!”
“WA HA HA WAA WALUGIA TIME!” Walugia manages to shout in triumph as she blasts Vageta with a thunderous snowstorm power.
“Impossible!” Vegeta grunts, wiping away the blood from his lip seductively, his body is busted and bruised from the icy blast.
“Could this living creature…be someone who is beyond my power level?”
“Walugia wins ha ha ha ha!” Waulgia waggled its enormous mustache while cheering for itself and doing a full summersault in the air.
Vageta was “There is only one certainty of that and it’s a man who has the most courage! Unlike that small feline thats running away!”
“WA?” The Walugia swivled around to see garfield fleeing back into the house.
“Im sorry Walugia! I have to go find odie and John!”
Vagata took the moment of distraction to shoot a energy blast at Walugia, sending the stoic creature into the sky until it couldnt hold itself and came crashing down to earth in another person’s backyard with a “WOAH WOAH WOAH WAAAAAAAAAA!!”
As garfield opens the back door, it was a wall of green before it all avalanched onto his body covering him up to his waste.
“You fool! Vageta cries still floating in the sky, battered and bruised but holding a smirk in triumph over his victory.
“You should have seen this coming!! Dont you know what today is?”
“Something tells me its Monday, and not national brussel sprout day.” Garfield says dimly.
The fat tabby swims through the pile of mushy vegetables like his life depends on it as vegeta powers up another energy blast. Thinking he had his enemy cornered, the cat puts on a swim cap he pulled out of cartoon physics and swan dives into the pile of brussel sprouts in hopes of reaching the other side of the pile that was coming from inside.
“Now we can finally be together” Garfield here's a voice say....
"John? Is that you?" he meows to the sea of brussell sprouts.
"My poor sweet john dont you see? Wensleydale is the best cheeeeese!"
TO BE CONTINUED