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“What…is that,” said Darth Vader flatly.
“Caw! Caw!” insisted Darth Crow.
“No.” The Sith Lord turned and stalked past the (much) shorter Sith in a glorious sweep of long, dark robes. “Absolutely not.”
“Caw!” Darth Crow hopped after him and then gave up and took flight, ultimately flying backwards in front of Vader’s face. “Caw. Caw-caw!”
Vader stopped walking and glared. Well. Gave the impression of glaring. “A red lightsaber small enough to fit on your back does not make you a Sith Lord.”
“Cawww,” Crow squawked, drawing out the sound. The lightsaber lit up again with the usual deathly fizzling noise. “Caw!”
“You,” said Vader with finality, “are no more than a particularly persistent magpie. Get lost.”
Darth Crow emitted the most offended squawks Vader had ever heard, but was finally left behind when Vader boarded his shuttle to the Death Star and shut the doors in front of its beak with a satisfying Force-enhanced slam.
*
The interview with Emperor Palpatine was shorter.
“No,” Palpatine said, after long minutes spent examining Darth Crow and the size-appropriate red lightsaber (which Darth Crow had helpfully turned on and off several times). He waved a gnarled hand. “I do not need a raven in my ranks. Not even one with a tiny lightsaber.”
“Caw!” Darth Crow protested, but Palpatine’s dismissal was, unfortunately final. As was his refusal to admit that Darth Crow was not, in fact, a raven with an ironic name.
*
“Uhh,” said Han Solo.
“Caw!” Darth Crow the Jedi hopped emphatically on the table. “Caw. Caw. Caw!”
“Wait,” said Luke Skywalker. “Is that…am I understanding correctly?” He turned to Han. “Did, uh, Crow just say…?”
“The plans of the Death Star, the route to Palpatine, and the locations of all the Stormtroopers’ food supplies,” Leia Organa confirmed. She smiled at Crow the Jedi. “Welcome aboard. I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.”
“Fine,” Han grumbled. “But if there’s any way to change that crystal’s color, you’d better take it. Looks evil.”
Crow the Jedi squawked at him…but did have to admit it might be a good idea.
*
“How did this happen?” Palpatine shrieked. “Ruins! It’s all in ruins!”
There—on the ground. What was that?
Vader reached out with the Force and up to his eye level floated…
…a feather. A long, dark feather.
Darth Vader was not given to displays of non-violent emotion. All the same, he could feel a headache coming on, and gave into the urge to rub his helmet’s forehead.
There was a long, long day ahead. Full of hoarse caws and gleeful squawks. He just knew it.