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group chat - HOGWARTS ADD EVERYONE
19/12/2021 (Last day of Term Before the Christmas Holidays):
11:12pm :
Barty : Yo someone let me in
Barty : HELLOOOO
Barty : Meadowes I can see that uve read my message
Dorky 😩🐍 : Idk the password to the Gryffindor common room
Barty : Howd u get in
Dorky 😩🐍 : McKinnon let me in earlier
Dorky 😩🐍 : @Potter
Potter: Okay Meadowes u don’t have to @ me in the groupchat after yelling my name halfway across the common room
Barty : Icon
Dorky 😩🐍 : Fr
Potter : Piss off or I won’t let u in
Barty : U wouldnt dare I bought most the damn alcohol
Potter : Oh yeah hang on I’m coming
Barty : 🖕
Potter : Ur welcome???
Barty : 🖕🙏
20/12/2021
12:38am
Black : mooooooont whereeee u
Lupin : James did u leave Sirius alone with the drinks again?
Potter : …No
Black : i miiiiiiiiiius uy
Barty : Ew
Kathy 🕺 : crouch babes u say that like u don’t cry every other week for being single
Potter : HAHAHAHAH
MacDonald : BDHANDJWJDKA
Barty : FUCK OFF KATHLEEN
Kathy 🕺 : don’t use my government name at me like that.
Bail my boo bestest mate ever practically in love with them smash smash smash : Um guys can we get off our phones because yor all leaving me to socialise with *people*
Kathy 🕺 : why where’d dorcas go
Barty : Scrimgeour did u change your contact name in my phone
Bail my boo bestest mate ever practically in love with them smash smash smash : No x
Bail my boo bestest mate ever practically in love with them smash smash smash : (Replying to: K athy 🕺 : why where’d dorcas go ) Think she’s gone to make out with someone in the corner
Barty : WHO
Potter : Yeah who????
Barty : Potter are u still here?
Potter : Ur talking on the hogwarts gc where everyone can see ur msgs so yeah i’m still here
Kathy 🕺 : then go away
Barty : HA
Kathy 🕺 : u go away too bartemius i still haven’t forgiven u for the disrespectful use of my government name 😔😔
Barty : Well technically u used mine too so we’re even now
Potter : Crouch ur full name is bartemius???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Barty : GO AWAY POTTER
Potter : Merlin fine
Potter : @ McKinnon
Bail my boo bestest mate ever practically in love with them smash smash smash : Call me a seer but I doubt that she’ll hear yor notification
Potter : Why won’t they????
Bail my boo bestest mate ever practically in love with them smash smash smash : *Cue mysterious ghouly sounds*
Potter : Whatwhatwhat
Bail my boo bestest mate ever practically in love with them smash smash smash : :)
Kathy 🕺 : well i’m off to find dorcas and pry her out of the cold dead hands of the person she’s snogging
Barty : Have fun
Kathy 🕺 : i will 😝
02:01am
Evans : OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG
Lupin : And I love drunk Lily <3
Vance 💍 : Wats god
Bones : Fuuhhhcjk we’ve been dancing and drinking for 3 fuckinf hours now
Kathy 🕺 : lightweight
Barty : Fr u should see the Slytherin parties 😩
Bones : Well I would if u lot invited Hufflepuffs to them 😨
Barty : Oh yeah
Dorky 😩🐍 : Piss offff
Barty : MEADOWES :D YOURE BACK :D
Dorky 😩🐍 : Mhm
Barty : Who’d u do 🤭
Dorky 😩🐍 : None of your goddamn business
Barty : Ouch
Dorky 😩🐍 : Hugs and kisses
02:41am
Barty : Fuck u Dorcas fucking Meadowes
McKinnon : oi no swearong theres still sorm firsties in thsi group
Barty : Fuck u too Mckinnon
McKinnon : oh
Dorky 😩🐍 (Replying to: Barty: Fuck u Dorcas fucking Meadowes): Oh hello to u too :)
Barty : Die
Barty : 🖕
Dorky 😩🐍 : I’ll get right to it then
Barty : NO WAIT
Black : guyyyyyys peeeeace notnwarrr mk
Barty : Alright who let Black back out to the drinks?
Dorky 😩🐍 (‘ ❤️ ’ by: Barty ) : LMAOOO
Dorky 😩🐍 : K crouch why’re u screaming at me
Barty : Oh
Barty : Can’t remember xx
Barty : NO WAIT
Barty : U dragged me away from that guy who definitely wanted to make out with me and then u just left
Barty : And I felt a bit sad after that
Kathy 🕺 (Replying to: Barty : U dragged me away from that guy who definitely wanted to make out with me and then u just left ) : automatic lie there’s no way in hell that anyone wanted to make out with u
Barty : Kys 😚🖕
Dorky 😩🐍 (Replying to: Barty: And I felt a bit sad after that): Awwww is wittle Bartemius Crouchemius feeling sad :(
McKinnon : SHAHHAHAHAHAH
Barty : 🖕
Dorky 😩🐍 : Dw I’m coming to find u 🫡
Barty : YAY
Kathy 🕺 : what about me
Barty : YOURE GOING TO DIE ALONE 💃
Kathy 🕺 : what-
03:11am
Kathy 🕺 : crouch come back i’m still not over what u js text
07:35am
Potter : OKAY EVERYONE THATS NOT A GRYFFINDOR GET OUT OF OUR COMMON ROOM BEFORE I CALL MINNIE 😁😁
Bail my boo bestest mate ever practically in love with them smash smash smash : WAT
Potter : 😁😁
Shacklebolt (prefect 🖕 ) : Uhhh what?
Shacklebolt (prefect 🖕 ) : I went to bed and woke up to find loads of msgs on the schl chat about a party?
Barty : What party?
Black : tf are u on mate
Barty : Aah Black survived your hangover then?
Barty : I speak on behalf of Hogwarts when I say I wish u hadn’t
Black : RESPECT UR FUCKING ELDERS CROUCH
Shacklebolt (prefect 🖕 ) : SEE! This is what I mean
Shacklebolt (prefect 🖕 ) : Why would u be hungover?
Black : wdym hungover
Barty : Who’s hungover?
Shacklebolt (prefect 🖕 ) : U are?
Black : nope i feel and look great
Barty : Well I look better
Black : who lied to this poor innocent little 5th year
Kathy 🕺 : ‘innocent’ 💀💀
Barty : U would know wouldn’t u Steward
Black : WOAHH 😏😏😏
Kathy 🕺 : hush up black everyone knows the shit u do with lupin behind the greenhouses
Black : jealous Steward ?
Kathy 🕺 : no
Black : u sound uncertain there
Kathy 🕺 : i promise u i’m not
Barty : I’m the one jealous actually
Barty : I mean it’s THE Lupin
Barty : 😩😩
Pettigrew : Right guys can we not simp over Remus I’ve heard waaay 2 much of that from Sirius already
Black : i agree with wormy i’m the only one allowed to simp over my bf 🤭
Pettigrew : That’s not what I was saying at all-
Barty : Do u think Black has selective hearing when it comes to texting
Pettigrew : 100% she zones out everything that’s not Remus Moony or Lupin
Black : are we all teaming up on me now
Shacklebolt (prefect 🖕 ) : U and Crouch were teaming up on me like 5 minutes ago!!!
Barty : Everyone just wants to be on my side
Barty : It’s alright guys team perfection has room for the rest of u
Bail my boo bestest mate ever practically in love with them smash smash smash : Barty
Barty : Yeah
Bail my boo bestest mate ever practically in love with them smash smash smash : SHUT UP
Barty : I
Barty (‘ 😭 ’ by: Black , Pettigrew and 1 other) : Okay
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