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Ever since preschool, Dobie and Maynard were always inseparable. All throughout their school years, they were practically attached to the hip.
Then began middle school, and the nightmare it brings to you, both mentally and especially physically.
Thirteen years of age is when Dobie's obsession of girls began. And it's safe to say that it's never gone away. It's all he talks about. Blonde girls, tall girls, dark girls, small girls... if she identified as female, you could be sure that Dobie's fawned over her at least once.
Maynard was different though. He never felt strongly about any girl. Even in middle school girls would pick on him, call him names, and joke about him by their lockers. Since the beginning, Maynard was always the "weird kid". He would play by himself when he wasn't with Dobie, and he would have full conversations with inanimate objects. And in middle school, he was into "childish" things (who could blame him, he was a child).
Although he tried to deny it, and suppress it, he was quite jealous when Dobie would talk to a girl. Maynard tried to not let it bother him.
...Until senior year of high school.
It was Myrtle Clyborne. A girl of average size; not too tall, not too short. Her hair was a deep, dark brown not dissimilar to the bark of a healthy tree. Her eyes were equally as dark as her hair. Her skin was a concerningly pale hue, which almost gave her a ghostly appearance. But in Dobie's eyes, she was the one.
"This is it, Maynard!", Dobie excitedly proclaimed, "She's the one, I'm tellin' ya!"
"Uh huh", replied Maynard lazily. He flips a page in an old issue of Hep Cat Digest. He's heard it a thousand times. Well 1,281 times, but who's counting?
"I'm serious, Maynard! She's beautiful, amazing, gorgeous, tawny. She's exactly the girl I've been lookin' for. We're already P.E.!"
"... P.E.?"
"It stands for 'Practically Engaged'."
"Oh, okay". Maynard at this point tunes everything out and returns to his magazine. Again, this is practically a weekly occurrence. Usually on Tuesdays.
It wasn't until Dobie said something alarming that Maynard finally began to pay attention.
"...So, best pal, would you like to be the best man?"
"Like, best man for what?", Maynard now slightly concerned, knowing what that title entails.
"Our wedding? Mine and Myrtle's? The thing I've been telling you about for the past five minutes?"
"Oh... yeah. Right." A sudden wave of anxiety and discomfort washes over Maynard. Dobie's never talked about that before.
"Her dad runs that jewelry store downtown and he's let us have the ring for 75% off! And her family is wealthy, so I'd have no problem asking Dad for money, and--"
"Dobie!" Maynard shouts. He didn't mean to say it so loud, but his emotions ruled his throat in that moment. This startles Dobie out of his ramble.
"Yes, Maynard?" Dobie's earlier excitement has now been replaced by concern for his best (and only) friend.
Maynard's voice gets quieter and more serious. "Dobe, listen. I get you like that Myrtle chick but...", Maynard looks away, attempting to ignore Dobie's eyes, "I just... I don't like that idea. I don't want you to get, like, hooked up with anyone. I mean, I want you to be happy but..."
Maynard's voice begins to crack slightly. He covers his eyes with his hand. It's obvious to anyone that he's stifling back tears. Dobie gently holds his free hand. He rubs circles with his thumb in an attempt to soothe Maynard, but it seems to make him more upset.
Still covering his eyes and fighting through the tears, Maynard attempts to continue.
"I-I know what happens to people who get.. married. They turn into monsters... They become.. different. They hate each other. They don't talk to f-friends. I don't want you like that. Ever."
"H-hey Maynard. It's okay. Marriage isn't like that. Marriage is the ultimate 'I love--"
Maynard quickly cuts him off. "Dobie... I don't want to hear that."
"Oh, I'm sorry. What do you want to hear?"
"That you won't.. leave me."
Those words seem to break something in Dobie. His heart perhaps, but his tear ducts definitely.
"Maynard, look at me".
Maynard opens his fingers slightly to where only one hidden eye can see Dobie.
"Maynard... I would never, ever leave you. Even if Marilyn Monroe proposed to me. I know you and I don't view marriage the same, but even if I do get hitched, you will always be my friend. My best friend. And I'm sorry that I made you upset. I didn't know it affected you so much. I love you, Maynard. I care about you deeply."
Maynard doesn't say a word, but he squeezes Dobie's hand as a way to say "thank you" and "I love you too".
Maynard wipes his face with his shirt. "Hey Dobe... after all the waterworks dry up, wanna get some ice cream?"
"Definitely."
"But, like, what about Myrtle? Don't you guys have to meet tonight?"
"... I'm gonna call her and tell her that I have something important today."
"Like what?"
"Getting ice cream with you!"
"... Oh, yeah." Maynard chuckles. Today wasn't so bad after all. The next day, however, Myrtle dumped Dobie because she doesn't like guys that aren't punctual. It didn't hurt Dobie though. There's more girls out there anyway. But there's only one Maynard.