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Their execution played in Damon’s head on loop.
Their screams echoed through his ears, their horrific end seared into his head.
Damon tried to distract himself by focusing on the courtyard around him, telling himself what’d he’d been telling himself all night- they had essentially gotten themselves killed, he couldn’t change what had happened, and there really was no need to feel anything over it.
It was the logical thing to think. But their death kept replaying.
“Everyone’s asleep, new guy.”
Damon flinched, before turning to glare at the familiar voice behind him.
“Didn’t know they did night here.” Kai looked up, clicking his tongue as he walked toward Damon.
Indeed, the ceiling was projecting an artificial night sky, coated in bright stars. Damon somehow found it simultaneously comforting and mocking.
“What are you doing here? Don’t you have better things to be doing?” Damon drawled.
Kai put held his hands out defensively. “Hey, I just wanted to talk to you! I mean, not you you, but- I couldn’t sleep. And… I saw you.” Kai finished lamely.
Damon snorted. “Oh. You wanted to talk to me?”
Damon rolled his eyes. “The moment I said something you guys didn’t like, you all turned on me. And you expect me to believe you just want to talk to me?”
“I-“ Kai pouted. “You’re so-“ Kai had willed his eyes to widen and shine a bit, and Damon scoffed at the sight.
“If that’s all, then go. Fuck off.”
“No, no!” Kai said, shaking his head rapidly. “Okay, you were right. We all saw what happened back there.” Kai visibly shivered before he continued. “You were right. We’re all gonna die. Happy?” Kai grinned joylessly, and Damon felt something in his stomach curl at the sight. “We were all wrong, and you were right. That’s what you wanted to hear, isn’t it?”
You were right.
Damon had heard those words and its variants a thousand times before, and he always cherished the phrase like gold. He heard it in the restrained applause of his audiences, in the begrudging “good game” from his opponents, in the wide eyes and hushed whispers of his judges.
The validation, the acknowledgment that he had done something right had always made his heart sore.
But hearing it now, from Kai, felt wrong.
“I- happy?” Damon shook his head. “I’m not happy. I didn’t want anyone to die. I…I’m not a…” Damon trailed off, not knowing how to finish the sentence. Not wanting to finish the sentence.
He noticed Kai’s gaze slowly softening, but if anything, it just made Damon feel worse.
“Okay. Okay, I’ll shut up.” Kai folded his arms behind his head, gazing up at the night screen.
The courtyard went dead silent.
“I didn’t want them to die, but it was inevitable.” Damon, regaining his composure, continued. “It doesn’t matter if we’re Ultimates. People will turn on each other if pushed far enough. That’s how humans work. But I didn’t want anyone to die.”
Kai hummed, but was otherwise silent for a long moment.
“The whole ‘Ultimate’ thing really is bullshit, isn’t it?” Kai laughed hollowly.
Damon snapped his head up, taken back by the assertion.
“C’mon. You said it yourself. They’re just handing out the title at this point.” Kai yawned, too strongly for it to be genuine. “It’s just some old, rich dudes trying to make themselves look good by feeding into some kids’ egos.” Kai looked at Damon pointedly.
Damon felt a prick of anger at the implication. “I earned my title. It can actually be useful, you-“
Kai shook his head. “Whoa! I didn’t mean it like that!” Kai pinched the bridge of his nose.
“You know… at the end of the day, you were right. I can’t do that much.” Kai looked sullen, and while the way his face quivered was quite clearly exaggerated, for some reason, Damon couldn’t bring himself to be too annoyed.
“What everyone was saying about me’s right. The only people that like me are preteen girls I’ve never even met.” Kai shut his eyes.
“But I still love it. Being an influencer. I… people notice me. And it makes me feel…” Kai trailed off, his voice hitching.
Damon stared dumbly at Kai for a long moment, feeling a strange deja vu overcome him.
“I… don’t say stuff like that to me.” Damon quickly looked away from Kai. “Talk to someone else about your problems.” Damon turned away from Kai. “I’m going to bed,” Damon said, a bit too loudly.
He hurried out of the courtyard before he could hear Kai’s reply.