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Pain. That is what you've felt. It is what consumed you. It was a never ending prison on where life has trapped you and you couldn't just let it go.
You thought things were getting better. Everything was supposed to be better. You're life was just supposed to be Better. You suppose things are never going to get better.
If something is left to brew it will turn bitter. It will turn you bitter. You can't just let it go. You can't just forget about it. It will always come back. And nothing will be better. It will just be worse with the illusion of hoping it will be better the next time.
So this is why you never let anyone see how you truly felt. It was better this way was it not? You had life in the day and you drowned out your sorrows at night under the stillness and pale light of the moon.
That is until today.
You're family have taken you on a trip to Watasumi Island, now that the Sokoku decree has been lifted, you can move more freely across Inazuma.
You were enjoying your time here. It was so beautiful here, so peaceful and just so.. Tranquil.
Walking up the path way to the village you were staying in, you looked down one of the water falls to see the military there training. They all looked nice you would admit, you did have an eye for some eye candy. Who wouldn't when they all looked that cute.
Your eyes wandered to a stout soilder. He looked like any other soilder, except he had ears and a fluffy tail. Not the first time you seen a hybrid though, their was the Shoganates right hand woman, that Oni who always caused a headache for the police, That girl from the delivery Service. It goes on.
Paying him little to no mind you continued you're walk.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Once you got back to your lodge, dinner was already served. Walking into the den, you saw your family around the table. Your mother looked up at your entry and her eyes narrowed. "What did you (conveniently) forget to do before you left." You mother asked bitterly. 'not even a hello I suppose.' You thought as you crossed your arms a little. "What do you mean? You didn't ask me anything before I left. I would've-" "Do not talk back to me child. I am your mother and you will respect me." Your mother said viciously. She always did have a narcissistic streak. "Im not trying to-" you try to say but your cut off again. Speaking was always seen as disrespect to her. Sometimes when you argued with her it was like trying to talk to a wall. Sometimes you would pop off at the mouth and it would be worse then actually taking the verbal beat down. "Get out of my sight. You have annoyed me for the last time. Leave! Just looking at you irritates me right now." She said rubbing her temples and shooing you away with another hand. You look at her with desperation and frustration and turn on your heel and walk out of the den.
'Dont cry don't cry. It's ok, you're ok everything's gonna be ok. Don't cry don't cry' you think to your self as your walking up a path to one of the slopes over looking Watasumi. That Matra failed you though. Soon tears were streaming down your cheeks faster then you could stop them. You were alone now. Far from the village and alone with your thoughts. How you hated being completely alone with your feelings. They scared you sometimes. In the darkest depths of despair, solum dark thoughts tended to find it's way into your mind, breaking your resolve bit by bit. Sooner or later you'll crack.
You slowly let it all go. The more tears that fell the more silent noises that were made. With your head hanging low and the tears streaming down your cheeks you hear a soft "hello..? Is someone out here..?"
You jump slightly, counting it's almost the middle of the night you didn't expect anyone to be out here. Wiping your eyes with your sleeves you sniff softly and pretend to be looking out over the slopes.
"Hello..? Sorry to bother you but I heard crying and I just want to make sure you're ok and-" the voice stops behind you and a moment of silence stretches across the slope.
"I..I am sorry I just came up here to-" you start but stop your self with tears falling and voice nearly cracking. You take a minute to compose you self and take a deep breath.
The voice comes up to sit beside you. "My names Gorou. I may not be able to help you with your heartache but I guarantee I'll be a good listener.." he says in a quiet tone. "If you don't wish to talk I can sit here and keep you company.."
Looking out across the slope, tears start to fall down your face again. You turn your head away from Gorou to save yourself some dignity and try to calm your mind.
It's silent for a time, with just the breeze and a strangers company. Some how it's comforting to have someone with you in the depths of your despair. It feels like you're less likely to drown init and disappear over the slopes edge.
"I don't understand why she does the things she does.." you say in a cracked voice and tears. "She..she makes me feel that I'm just a burden.." you're starting to cry harder now trying to ball into your self.
Maybe if you borrow far enough you can escape the void in your heart.
"Nothing is ever good enough for her..*sniff* she makes me feel *so* angry with myself and her.." you say whiling your eyes with your sleeves. "I can't help but grow to hate her!.. i want to love her but she just makes me feel..alone."
Looking up towards the lonely sky, you're cheeks stained with. Despair, Out of the corner of your eye you can see Gorou looking at you quietly.
You bow your head again and your hair falls to shield your eyes
"Oh what would they think of me.." you said softly
"You don't know how lonely it is to feel this way *all* the time" you say through sobs. "I just..can't anymore.."
You cover your eyes with your hands and quietly sob. Until you feel a hand on your shoulder.
You look up with teary eyed and stained cheeks and shaley hands. Looking over at Gorou you see the kindest look in his eyes. There was no embarrassment, no annoyance, just genuine compassion and empathy.
"You don't have to feel alone anymore.. I'll be here as long as you need..it's ok." He said giving you a small smile
"You're going to be ok.."