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The Doctor had many lovers throughout her lifetimes, and they were all beautiful and special in their own way. But there were some that came and went like the wind, and then there were those connections that happened to stick around for a while. If they stuck around long enough, some of them might happen to pop-up at the same time. Right now was one of those rare instances where there were a few different lovers who stuck around long enough to be in the same room at the same time. Specifically three of them. In fact, the Doctor was so wrapped in Tuesday movie nights at Yaz’s that she had practically moved in. At some point, River and Missy had managed to haggle their way into Tuesday movie nights and Friday game nights, then Sunday dinners. Then the Doctor had to arrange a date night for just her and Yaz on Wednesdays, then Missy wanted a night for herself on Mondays, and the Doctor wasn’t going to let her wife get the short end of the stick, so Saturdays were River’s. Which meant the only free night for the Doctor was Thursdays, and usually it turned into mission day. River never liked her traveling alone, so she would usually take whichever of them felt like going out that day, and she made sure to be back in the bed with them before sundown so whoever was left behind never worried too much. River usually had her date night with Missy on Wednesdays whenever Yaz and the Doctor were out on a date, they mostly stayed in bed every time unless they were looking for a thrill. Yaz and River took Mondays as their date night, usually the two of them came back looking fresh and pampered, so the Doctor assumed they went to the spa or some other beauty genre place. The Doctor was never one for self-care, and Missy refused to let anyone else touch her under the assumption that she didn’t look absolutely perfect at all times. The Doctor was endlessly happy to have them all here at once, a feat she had never quite been able to perform before and she didn’t mind being constantly busy, she had never enjoyed rest.
Today was Tuesday, and Yaz was in her lap with her head leaning on the Doctor’s left shoulder, River’s arm was behind her head coming from the right. Missy was in her own chair, which she forced everyone to call her throne and refused to let anyone else sit in (Yaz protested at first given she bought it for herself, but eventually gave in), which she angrily had a silent argument with the movie from. Everything, Everywhere, All at Once was on. The Doctor tried to argue that parallel universes were not able to be jumped through like this, and the science didn’t really support anything like the everything bagel, but there was a nothing donut at the center of a planet called Kivanya. She started to tell them about the time she went there and almost died from a parasitic worm which grew bigger by feeding on the host from the inside until they all told her to shut up and watch the movie. Yaz had put it on because she liked that it was queer and had a lot to say about the mother-daughter relationship that reminded Yaz of her own to an extent. River was really invested, she had always been a bit of a big book fan, and had only recently made her foray into the film scene.
The Doctor reaches into River’s lap for the popcorn bowl as they get to the part where the main character talks about how much her husband matters to her, Yaz nuzzles further into the crook of her neck. She swallowed down the handful of popcorn before grabbing River’s hand to hold again. This was nice. The Doctor wanted every night to be just like this. She didn’t want to ever lose any of them again. A tear prickled the edge of the Doctor’s vision, why was she crying? She didn’t cry. The tear rolled down her face and rolled down the cheek, dripping off the chin onto the hand that held River’s on top of Yaz in her lap. They didn’t say anything. Then a second tear followed the same path. The Doctor knew they figured it out the second Yaz’s head lifted from her shoulder. She held her breath and looked straight ahead to ignore it. Her face was wet though, and River’s hand was wiping away another tear from her cheek, and it was all suddenly too much.
“Doctor, you okay?” Yaz asked her, slowly lifting herself off the Doctor’s lap to give her a little more room.
“I’m fine.” The Doctor hushed her, her shiny face revealing more than she liked.
Yaz’s question caused Missy to look back towards the Doctor and all the eyes were too much all of a sudden. The Doctor brushed them away and ran into the bedroom, locking the door behind her. She knew it wouldn’t be long before one or all of them came after her, but if she could just compose herself long enough to come up with a clever lie, she’d be fine. First she’d have to figure out what was going on though. How come she was surrounded by so much love and yet she was just hit by this wave of sadness?
She started thinking again. She never was good at shutting her thoughts down, and often they would jump quickly to the next anyway, but she wasn’t letting go of this nagging thought and the feelings that came with it. The Doctor threw herself on the bed and stripped her jacket off, throwing it to the ground.
“Stop it. I don’t cry. There’s nothing to cry about.” The Doctor rubbed at her eyes, telling them to stop, her eyes didn’t listen.
All the thoughts came rushing back, every companion she lost before. Everytime she failed to save someone. River’s death, which already happened a long time ago, the one the Doctor was making sure wasn’t going to happen for as long as she could. Missy’s death, where she would come back as a new version, with so much more pain than the Doctor ever wished her to have. Yaz, who was unbelievably mortal, and who was so much braver than the Doctor wanted to let her be. How long could this routine still last? How old would they all be when it ended? It always ended, but she would have to lose all of them all over again. She would miss them so much, and she would have to watch them miss each other too.
Happy thoughts. That was what she was supposed to think. Happy thoughts. Missy meeting River.
“Hello sweetie, you rang for a jailbreak?” A younger Doctor, with an older face, frees a young River from their cell for date night.
“About time you showed up! You promised tomorrow, but it’s been almost a week!” River kisses him on the cheek.
The Doctor pulls her onto the TARDIS and River drives it to a diner on a spaceship tethered to a nearby small moon. River was surprised to find it almost empty with only a time lady in a Victorian gown feasting.
“Kelty, I thought I told you to not let anyone in, I wanted to feast alone today.” Missy didn’t look up at The Doctor and his companion.
River smells the burning smell of a laser gun in flesh and tackles the Doctor to the ground. A laser shot fires where they first stood. They give the doctor a smirk as he realizes their position. He shakes his head.
“Missy!” The Doctor yells towards the Victorian figure.
Missy looks towards him and Rivers cowering on the ground. “Oh, it’s just you, Doctor. Call off the shooters, Kelty, I want to kill this one myself.”
Missy doesn’t notice River until they sit down at her table. “And who might you be, the doctor’s new pretty, young plaything?”
Before River can answer, the Doctor speaks for them. “Missy, River. River, Missy. Missy is the new incarnation of the master, and I’ve told you about River already.”
“Oh, the mortal enemy, how exciting!” River holds out their hand.
“Oh, the wife, you’re the reason he won’t kiss me.” Missy brushes their hand away.
“I certainly can’t see why, I wouldn’t give up any chance to kiss a face as beautiful as yours, you’re clearly the pretty, young thing here.” River flirts, earning them a look from the Doctor.
“I see why he likes you. If I had a thing like you, I wouldn’t leave you locked up in a cell all that time.” Missy flirts back. “What a waste.”
“Why don’t you two just go on a date instead, then?” The Doctor grumbles, jealous he isn’t receiving the attention he wants.
“Perhaps we should.” River plays along with his game, much to Missy’s delight.
“You should just step back in the TARDIS and leave me and my new lover be now, Doctor.” Missy continues.
“The second I introduce you. I can’t believe it! You know she killed everyone who was previously eating here, right?” He turns to River.
“Obviously.” River responds, “It’s not like that’s something I wouldn’t have done if they had asked us for reservations.”
The Doctor stares at them. “Psychopaths. The both of you.”
“So you’ll be off then?” Missy asks the Doctor.
The Doctor crosses his arms and leans back in defeat. “I’m staying.”
The two of them laugh at him being comically upset. They shared a lovely meal together after all. They were psychopaths, his psychopaths.
Nope. Didn’t work. Still crying.
“Fuck, c’mon. That usually works.” The Doctor starts to shake a bit, all the fears bubbling up in her throat, making it hard to breathe.
If anything, she was crying harder after remembering that. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.
The Doctor noticed how silent it was outside, hushed voices muttered to each other in the living room. They had paused the movie and were no doubt talking about her. She wanted to beg them to continue watching, to not let her emotions get in the way of the night. Her voice came out a strangled sob. She was shaking and crying and everything was wrong.
The door handle wiggled slightly as one of her partners tried to come in. A knock sounded at the door after they realized it was locked. Gentle and soft, Yaz for sure.
“Doctor, can I come in?” Yaz asks through the door.
The Doctor can’t make a sound, so she just shakes her head, not remembering Yaz can’t see her.
“Doctor? Darling?”
Still crying. Happy thoughts, Doctor, happy thoughts. River meeting Yaz.
Yaz and the Doctor received a distress call about a cyberman attacking a preschool on an alien planet, figured it might be an easy mission and they could sneak in some kisses in between trying to figure out motivation and actually defeating the sucker. In sussing out the vibe, The Doctor realized her ship was stolen, and by the time they finished, it had been returned to the same spot she left it.
The Doctor searches her ship for any sign of change, she sees the blue switches flipped. “Huh, that’s weird.”
“What? What is it?” Yaz didn’t notice any difference.
“The ship was definitely gone earlier, and someone turned the stabilizers on.” The Doctor tries to think of anyone else except her late wife.
“You mean someone else knows how to pilot the ship?” Yaz looks over at the place the Doctor is looking.
“Not anymore.” The Doctor looks around at her ship, “Were they here? Was River here?”
The TARDIS just hummed back, almost like a small giggle.
“C’mon, take me to where they are.” The Doctor starts to prepare for the next jump.
“Hello, sweetie.” River says from a doorway behind the Doctor.
“RIVER!” The Doctor turns and runs to pick her up in a hug, she fails when she realizes she’s not very strong and decides to just hold tight.
“Sorry, Doctor, who’s this?” Yaz asks, tentatively.
The Doctor has a big smile on her face when she grabs River’s hand and turns towards Yaz, “Yaz, meet River, my wife.”
“Your what?” Yaz looks shocked.
“What are you doing here? How is this possible? You’re supposed to be dead.” The Doctor questions her wife.
“All in due time, honey. Why don’t I introduce myself to your guest in a better way first?” River nods to a hurt Yaz.
They walk over to Yaz with a calm composure and reach out their hand. “Hi, Yaz, I’m River Song. I died a long time ago, now I’m back. I’m married to the Doctor, but don’t worry, we’re not exclusive. It’s nice to meet you.”
Yaz shakes their hand gently. “It’s nice to meet you too.”
“I’m sure we’ll have a lot to talk about, and I don’t want anyone getting left behind. I know she doesn’t like to talk much about her past, but I promise you the surprises aren’t as much of a big deal as she thinks they are.” River winks at Yaz, who blushes in return.
The Doctor glowers at River, crossing her arms.
“Now don’t look so glum, dear, your wife is home!” River turns back towards the Doctor with a teasing look in their eye.
The Doctor, recognizing that she hasn’t seen that look in a long time, can’t help but smile again.
Oh, come on! That was such a happy memory! Why is she still crying?
“Doctor, if you don’t open this door right now, I’m going to shoot my way in.” Missy orders through the door. “I don’t think Yaz’s landlord will be very happy with laser marks on her hinges, so open this door. Now.”
The Doctor shakes her head again. They can’t see her like this, not when she’s still a mess.
She manages to get her shaky voice to speak a little bit. “Go away. Continue without me.”
She hears a heavy sigh from Missy and knows she isn’t happy with her. The Doctor begins to rock back and forth. She tries to stop breathing so they won’t hear her, it doesn’t work very well.
Happy. Happy. Happy. Be happy. Missy, Yaz, River, together, first time.
Missy and River kept taking the TARDIS on joyrides for their little date nights, and it was making the Doctor upset. How was it that she never noticed all the times River had stolen the TARDIS before? It was so obvious now, everytime she left the liquor cabinet open, or the monitor plugged in, or sometimes an article of clothing. She basically begging the Doctor to catch her.
Yaz and the Doctor made a plan to catch them in the act. They pretended to have left the TARDIS in a very obvious position where River could use it, and rigged a slime bucket above the entryway.Then they hid underneath the control center with hushed giggles and low breathing.
When River pulls Missy into the Tardis to the sound of what can only be described as ‘a shit ton of gunshots’, They snog her really hard against the doors of the TARDIS. Yaz and the Doctor share a look over how long they were taking before getting to their trap. The TARDIS flicks a few lights to catch River’s attention and whispers in their ear.
“Oh, really, the Doctor set a trap for us, did she?” River says loudly for the Doctor to hear.
She groans. “C’mon, why do you always have to be such a spoilsport?”
“Because she likes me better, sweetie.” Rver calls down to her.
The Doctor crawls out from her hiding spot, pulling Yaz with her. “It would’ve been fun though! Why are you taking my worst enemy on dates in my ship?”
“Don’t you mean your favorite enemy?” Missy goats her. “I thought we were over all of the fighting nonsense, you’re clearly in love with me.”
“You’re the one in love with me!” The Doctor argues.
“Yes, yes, we all love each other. Hi Yaz.” River waves to Yaz.
“Hi,” Yaz waves back.
“Just stop taking my ship without my permission!” The Doctor steps towards them.
“I didn’t know I needed your permission to take our TARDIS when I feel like it, she can choose if she doesn’t want me to take her. She doesn’t belong to you. You barely even notice anyway.” River reminds her, taking a step forward as well.
“You’ve gotten sloppy, Doctor Professor The Cool and Amazing and Powerful River Song.” THe Doctor steps forward again.
“Doctor.” Yaz warns about the slime.
“And when did I earn all of those new titles?” River steps forward again.
“Darling, be careful where you step.” Missy reminds River of the slime.
“Spoilers.” The Doctor grabs River’s collar and pulls them into a kiss, right below the slime bucket. It splashes all over them.
River shakes their head. “I hate you.”
“No you don’t,” The Doctor grins at them, covered in the sticky green substance.
“This is going to take years to get out my hair.” River complains as the Doctor high fives Yaz.
“Good thing we have a time ship.” She retorts.
“Don’t expect me to kiss you again while you’re covered in whatever this is.” Missy takes a bit of goo on the tip of her finger before flicking it away.
“Alright, let’s get the two of you washed up.” Yaz pushes the Doctor and River towards the showers.
Showers. Those stop tears, right? The Doctor attempts to get up her seat and realizes she’s still shaking, and she’d have to go through the living room to get to the bathroom.
“Sweetie, Just let us in, okay? We’re not mad, we just want to know what’s going on. If you want to talk to just one of us, or one of us did something, say a name and they can go in alone. Just unlock the door.” River makes a final attempt to get through to the Doctor.
The Doctor gives in and slowly goes to unlock the door. She struggles back to collapse on the bed again. River opens the door slowly to let themself in, closing it behind them to just make sure the Doctor isn’t overwhelmed by all of them being there at once. They walk over and sit next to the Doctor. This River had seen her cry before. Not in this body, but in a different one, and the tears were the same.
River laid down next to the Doctor and brushed her hair from her face. “Y’know, I haven’t seen you cry like this since I said goodbye to you on Darillium.”
The Doctor choked back a sob. “Shut up!”
“Honey, it’s just us, okay? No one can hurt us here, I promise.”
“Don’t say that. Anyone could attack us at any time. All of you could die, and we’re risking it by having you all in one place. I lost you once, I don’t want to lose you again.” The Doctor had a couple voice cracks trying to get through the sentence.
“C’mon, sweetie, Me and Missy are practically invincible, and Yaz has all three of us protecting her. Absolutely nothing can hurt her when she’s with all of us. This is the safest we could be, all together.”
“You’re so smart, I hate you.” The Doctor’s tears slow.
“No, you don’t.” River smiles at her. “Now, what would you say about inviting the others in so you can let them know what’s going on?”
Oh-kay The Doctor mouths to them.
River rises and beckons for Yaz and Missy to come inside. The Doctor sits up on the edge of bed, hanging her head low. Yaz rushes to give her a hug. Missy saunters in slowly behind, the worry not showing on her face.
“You look like a mess.” Missy comments plainly, earning her a look from everyone in the room.
“Thanks,” The Doctor can’t help but smile at her inability to deal with emotions.
“Doctor, what happened? Was the movie too much? I’ll do a more comedic one next time, I promise. Was it me? Did I do something?” Yaz began to spiral with worry.
“Yaz. Yaz, I’m okay. You did nothing wrong, I just got caught up in my head.” The Doctor calmed her.
River made eye contact with her and nodded to tell her to communicate everything with them.
The Doctor took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about this routine, with all of us together. How I’ve never had anything like this for as long as it’s been going on. I’m so worried every time we get together how quickly it could all end. I just love you all so much, I don’t wanna lose you.”
Yaz rubs her back. “It could end, that’s true, but not for a long time. A whole human lifetime if we’re lucky. If we’re not, we’ll face it when we get there. Darling, you have us now, you can’t be constantly dreading the end, but you also have to know there probably will be an end.:
“Not with me, you can never get rid of me.” Missy responds, continuing when River raises an eyebrow at her. “It’s just a fact. I’m not being sappy, it’s a fact.”
“Thank you, all of you. I love you all so much. I love all of you being here at once.” The Doctor grabs to pull all of them into a hug. Missy rejects it, but gets pulled in anyway. River kisses her on the cheek.
“Do you want to finish the movie?” Yaz asks.
“Nah, don’t like endings.” The Doctor responds.
“Doctor!”
“Kidding!”
Okay, only half kidding.