Chapter Text
It’s late morning when I finally walk through the gates of Haven and climb the steep steps. A gruff, impatient voice greets me, “Hey you, Kn- Elf! You don’t look busy. Come here.” Slowly, I turn to look at the blond human man beside the cluttered merchant table nearby, turning a pointed finger at myself. “Yes, you. Do you see any other kn-elves around here?” Holding my tongue, ears burning as I walk up to his table. This man has almost insulted me twice, but I have seen the horrible things that happen to elves who stand up for themselves. “Tell that cheap blighter Adan that if he wants these herbs he can get them at the same prices as everyone else, no less than eight.” A message? Okay, that's not so bad, I can do that.
“Yes, Ser. Right away, Ser.” My voice is quiet as I do a quick bow and run off up the next set of stairs. As I come to a group of tents a fork in the path makes me realize I have no idea where I’m going or who this Adan even is. It’s obvious that I can't just run all over Haven looking for one person. Luckily there’s a golden headed dwarf in a red open chested tunic near the tents. Maybe he’ll know where or who this Adan is. “Um… excuse me, Ser?” He turns and all too familiar nerves twist in my stomach. “Do you um... Do you know where I can find someone named Adan?” The words come out in more of a whimper than anything resembling a statement. Normally, I would keep my head down to avoid anything unnecessary such as most conversations. Beating around the bush and being pleasant aren't skills I typically excel at, which tends to get me into trouble with most people, so there’s always pressure to not mess up. Something about Haven is making me nervous, like I know I'll be dragged out of my comfort zone a lot.
The dwarf shocks me with a wide grin as he crosses his arms and shifts his weight, looking up at me. “First day, huh? I can tell.” He eyes my travel torn clothes along with the various cuts and bruises covering any exposed skin. “You look like you barely escaped a druffalo stampede. Let me guess, someone grabbed the first elf they saw without thinking that maybe you weren’t a servant or messenger.” I nod slowly, unsure what I should say in this situation. He chuckles lightly, shaking his head with a sigh, “Varric Tethras.”
“Seth. The merchant down there snatched me up as soon as I walked through the gate.” I motion over my shoulder and Varric leans slightly to look at who sent me.
“Oh, Seggrit. Why am I not surprised?” He grimaces and points to his left, “Follow the path straight past the tavern and up the stairs. You’ll see Chuckles, trust me you’ll know when you see him, keep going straight and Adan should be in the middle building.”
“Thank you, S-” He halts me mid bow by holding up his hands.
“None of that, Noisy. It’s Varric.” He grins again, sending me off with a firm pat on the back.
The tavern is hard to miss, I hear it before I even turn away from Varric. Music, laughter along with the smell of meat and alcohol pour from it. As I pass by I have to double take. A scrawny elf with short, choppy blonde hair is hanging upside down from the rafters shouting out vulgarities as she tries to land bits of cheese in the mugs of several soldiers singing drunkenly along to the minstrels playing. Shaking my head with a sigh I resolve not to ask and continue along the path to the small stairs. Guessing that the bald elf staring at the giant green pulsing hole in the sky with the look of someone who shit the bed must be the ‘Chuckles’ Varric spoke of. I continue on to the middle building. Once inside a man bent over a table in concentration takes my attention and again comes that knot of nervousness deep in my stomach. I clear my throat hoping that's enough to grab his attention.
“Please tell me you have a reason to be here, otherwise you’re blocking the door.” The man straightens, crossing his arms as he turns toward me with an indignant grunt. “Well?”
Taken aback by the man’s grumpiness I fumble with my words, “Adan? Are you Adan?”
The man groans into his hands, “Really? I don’t have time for stupid questions. Yes, I am, now why are you here?” My mind blanks for a moment until he snaps his fingers, “Any time now.”
“Seggrit asked- Told me he can't let the herbs go for anything less than eight.” Creators don’t ask any questions about it. I’m not really sure what herbs they’re talking about and I definitely didn’t want to say it the way Seggrit did. This guy is grumpy enough.
“Fine. We’ll gather our own. Tell Seggrit he better hope he doesn't need a salve anytime soon.” Adan replies quickly the darkness of his threat made certain from his tone.
I just gape pointing at myself, behind me, then finally at him. Flustered would be an understatement. “Do you really want me to tell him?” This is so uncomfortable.
He just stares at me, making me shift nervously. Then he laughs. Really laughs, “If you’d like. Although maybe you could help me out. Do you know what elfroot looks like?” I just give him my best ‘Are you serious’ face. “Well if you ever feel like picking some I’m willing to pay a silver for every bundle you bring. It’s not much but it's what I can afford at the moment. It’s what we need the most around here.”
“I will think about it, Ser. If that is all?” I wouldn’t really mind picking some eventually, but I need rest and warmer clothes first.
“Ah, yes. Go off somewhere then I’m busy.” He turns back to his work with a grumble.
Turning on my heels I rush out to join the other refugees in line at the chantry for some food and maybe a new tunic if I’m lucky. It’s late afternoon by the time the line finally gets to me and I’m able to see just how tight the resources are, so when they offer the small ration I decline. Instead asking if they need help with anything. A few shocked sisters nod and point out a woman across the yard next to another very cluttered table, but instead of weapons and armor it’s stacks of paper. I quickly make my way over. Introvert I may be, but when others need the help I won’t stand by and watch. “Excuse me, Serah.”
She gives me a quick once over before returning to the several forms in her hands “If you’re here to clean Hess can get a mop and a bucket. If anyone calls you Knife-ear, come to me.”
“Um, thank you, but I’m not here to clean. I was wondering if I could do anything for the sisters that would help the refugees.”
She looks up at me for a long time just taking me in. “Name’s Threnn: Inquisition Quartermaster. You want to help out then take a look at these requisitions. If you find what they need I’d be grateful.” She hands me a couple from the stack. They’re simple requests, things like elfroot, iron, meat, hides, even one for a logging location. I fold them, tuck them quickly into my pocket and head for the front gate. I decide to start with elfroot since they only need a few bundles and maybe I can pick some extras for quick coin.
As I near the gate I hear a familiar gruff voice, Seggrit. “Hey Knife-ear get over here.” My jaw clicks with the force of my clench, but I swallow it down as I move to his table quietly. “Did you relay the message?” A single nod. “Well? What was his answer?”
I contemplate looking for some deathroot while I’m out, but shake the thought away. “He decided to harvest his own.” The look Seggrit gives me sends a shiver down my spine.
“Did he now?” He says through gritted teeth. “Here. For your work.” He drops about a dozen coppers in my hand which I stare at in shock. I didn’t expect payment. “Swing by here tomorrow I’ll give you a few more to make runs for me regularly.” I feel my ears burn a bit. This is a bribe. Has to be.
“Yes, Ser. I will be here tomorrow, Ser.” I’m not going to turn down the chance to earn enough to buy what I’ll need. Bowing quickly I continue down the stairs and out through the gates. They open to a large muddy clearing. To the left is the stables and blacksmith and to the right there are several tents with soldiers skirmishing anywhere there's room. Turning right I skirt the fighting soldiers and head towards the woods.
Elfroot is a common, hardy plant and my trained eyes spot it immediately. As I collect the herb my search for a decent logging site takes me further and further into the woods. Eventually, I come across a lone cabin that seems long abandoned, but decide it's best to avoid strange buildings. I keep it up for hours, tying bundles with the stems of other plants I come across and converting my tunic into a pack to carry it all in.. By evening I’ve gathered quite a bit of elfroot and even located a decent logging spot. Pulling the small hunting knife from my boot I carve a special mark into a couple nearby trees to mark the spot.
The trek back to Haven is an arduous one due to the surprising distance I covered, the heavy load of elfroot and the chill biting at my bare torso. Warming up will be a major priority after I return. Haven comes into view after another hour of shuffling through the snow. Almost all the soldiers are resting or finishing up dinner, though some have decided they need more practice, mostly elves. Which really doesn’t surprise me much. More to prove leads to higher work ethic. Adjusting the makeshift pack over my shoulder I mentally prepare myself for the looks I’ll get as I pass. Sure enough people stare. One recruit’s eyes lock onto my body as I walk by causing her to trip over the corner of a tent and plow her face into the snow. Her stew splatters everywhere, onto everyone. I choke down my laugh. ‘Don’t laugh at the soldiers, idiot. Don’t get yourself killed on your first day.’ If I were to ask if she’s okay I know I’d only serve to embarrass her further so I try to ignore her groans. When she finally pushes from the ground she’s holding a hand over her nose. I pause. Did she break it? No. Stop looking. With her hand covering half of her face I can only see her deep green eyes that, unsurprisingly, are still locked on me. I only then realize I have been frozen in place. The helmet she had been wearing rests in the snow at her side and without it my eyes freely drift over the loosely braided hair hanging over her shoulder. It’s a dark red contrasting with her pale skin and bringing out the small freckles spread out over the parts of her face I can see. Her smooth round ears snap me back to reality allowing my legs to finally move away from her as quickly as I can. Human, huh? Still, she’s beautiful
Ignoring her is no easy task, especially when something cold slams into my shoulder making me stumble. Snow? “Arse!” Another ball of snow lands against the back of my head and I whip around to face my assailant. “What kind of man are ya? Who disnae stop to ask a lady if she’s alright?” Her face is crimson and brings a traitorous smile to my lips. She makes a face, her hands pausing their assembly of another ball of snow. Chuckling slightly, I turn and continue to the gate. A burning sensation spreads quickly over my whole face that’s definitely not from the cold. Guilt for ignoring her settles in my chest. It’s so against my nature it makes me itch, but that accent of hers did a number on me and I need to get far from it. I”m almost to the gate when I’m assaulted again, but this time it's not snow. Something heavy wraps around my head whipping it forward. “Put on a shirt, idiot!” Disentangling the object from my head I quickly realize it's a thick woolen tunic. I can't accept this. I turn to protest, but she's already gone. The shirt feels heavy in my hands, I need to give it back, but a sudden violent shiver shakes my body reminding me just how cold I am. Maybe I should put it on for now, at least until I’ve delivered the elfroot and can use my own again. Quickly shrugging it on, it’s baggy but not excessively so, I resume my journey to Adan’s hoping that he may still be there.
Varric gives a wave as I walk by which, shockingly, I return. I keep to the right and when I get to the door of the tavern the smell of the food floors me. An angry beast wakes in my stomach causing a small whimper to escape. Don’t think about it. Keep working then when the jobs are done I can think about it. The tavern is way too hectic to even understand what’s going on. That blonde elf is obviously an enabler I should avoid.
Adan groans when the door creaks open, not even turning to see who it is, “What could you possibly still need? Honestly, I have important wo-” He finally turns around and notices the bulging tunic over my shoulder which shuts him up. Placing it on the floor I begin to pull out bundle after bundle making sure to leave fenough for Threnn’s requisition and hand them to Adan. He grins, actually grins with his whole face. “Were you picking all day? Maker this is a lot. I’ll be supplied for a week, maybe more. Here, take it, you’ve certainly earned it.” He tosses a coin purse I catch easily and shove into my pocket. “Not even going to count it?”
“I see no need to. I believe you to be an honest man.” Turning quickly I make my exit heading straight to the requisitions table. When I place the bundle on the table with the accompanying requisition Threnn looks up from her work. “I also located a decent sight for that logging camp and marked it with this symbol.” I grab a quill to quickly sketch the mark and a generalized map of the area it’s in for her.
“Thank you. I appreciate the hard work. You didn’t have to, but you did. Keep this up and maybe I can get you something for your trouble.” She nods her head and turns back to her work.
It’s getting pretty late into the evening around the time I walk back down to the tavern. As I near the angry roar ripples in my stomach again and I groan. I need to get something into me, but that tavern is a whole different story I don't want to read. Varric catches me before I can get away, placing his hands on my back and pushing me toward the door. “Oh, no you don’t, Noisy, you’re going in there.” A strangled cry resembling that of a cat being forced to bathe is all that escapes me. It draws a mischievous laugh from Varric as he continues to push me inside. I stumble over the threshold as well as away from Varric, who is still chuckling to himself. “Welcome to The Singing Maiden, Noisy.” He shouts over the noise of the tavern, holding up his hands as he spins in a slow circle on his way to an empty table nearby.
“Varric I don-” Something slams into me, toppling me over. “What the f-” It’s that strange elf. Her face is turned and she’s yelling at someone behind her.
“Sorry ‘bout this. That pric-” She pauses in her explanation when her eyes fall on me. “And you’re an elf. Well…” She holds out a hand helping me up, but puts on a sour face.
“Looks like you’ve already met Noisy, Buttercup.” Varric gets the attention of one of the barmaids most like placing an order.
“Let’s just hope he’s not too… elfy.” She shrugs and wanders off into the crowd.
Still dusting myself off I creep slowly to the table as Varric beckons me over. When I sit the barmaid comes back with two mugs and a platter of meats, cheeses and bread. My mouth waters, but Varric ordered this for himself surely. He takes a long slow drink from his mug before leveling a questioning look at me. “You should eat up. I could hear your stomach growling halfway across Haven.”
Eyeing the plate suspiciously. “That’s for me?”
“Of course. So is the drink. It's on me tonight since it's your first day.”
“I couldn’t possibly accept. I haven’t done anything to earn this from you.”
“Noisy, stop. The way you’ve been running around today, going out of the way to gather things for the other refugees, turning down offers of food and warmth. You’ve done more than enough to earn this.” He pushes the plate closer to me. “Eat up.”
I want to protest further but my stomach lurches painfully and half the plate is down the hatch before I can blink. The first food I’ve had in a couple of days sinks heavily into my stomach.
Varric eyes me worriedly as I gulp down the contents of my mug greedily, “How long has it been since you’ve eaten?”
This stalls me, eyebrows pinching together. Slowly I place the mug on the table, “It's not unusual for me to go without food. I suppose it's been a few days. I gave away my pack and rations on the way to Haven. The family I passed needed it more. They had four children to feed and keep warm along with themselves, so I traded them my pack as well as any food I had for one of their hunting knives.” Shrugging nonchalantly I pull the carefully sharpened dagger from my boot wiggling it so Varric knows it's what I was speaking of before sheathing it back in my boot.
“You’re kidding me.” His eyes wide as he takes another drink. Placing the cup down, he leans into the table. “You are joking right?”
My ears twitch. “No. I’m not joking”
“May I ask why you’d give them everything? I understand wanting to help them out, but giving them all your belongings...” He shakes his head then places his chin on the newly formed bridge of his fingers, embodying his inquiry.
“I won’t hesitate to help anyone in need. If that means I go hungry so be it. I will not allow any hesitation on my part to be a burden on their lives.” A heat rises in my cheeks. Why am I being so honest? There’s no obligation to tell him anything, but the words continue to tumble from my mouth. ”It's how I was raised. My mother said that acts of kindness can bridge any gaps in language or race. That if I could touch the life of someone else through kindness and compassion then they too would touch someone else’s life in the same way. To break the chains of anger, contempt and cruelty you must meet them with sympathy, compassion and kindness. Well, at least that's what my mother brought me up to believe.” I stare at the mug between my hands until the barmaid fills both Varric’s and mine before taking the now empty plate from the table and quickly disappearing into the crowd.
There's a low whistle that brings my eyes up to meet Varric’s. “That’s… Well your mother certainly sounds like a great woman. Did she come to Haven with you? I’d love to meet her.”
“She’s dead.” The words come out way too quickly. Varric is almost physically knocked back by the bluntness.
“I’m sorry. How... No, that’s not something I should ask.” He rubs the back of his neck, face visibly uncomfortable with how the conversation shifted from his grasp.
“It was sickness. Consumption. She hid it from everyone, so we didn't know until it was too late to save her. Not that we even could have.” The last expression she ever had flashes through my mind. She’s choking on her own blood. She’s in pain and I’m too helpless as the strength in the grip of her hand in mine slowly eases.
“-sy? Hey! You okay?” Varric’s waving his hand wildly in front of my face.
Blinking quickly I nod. “Yeah, I’m just thinking. How much is a bow here?”
Varric seems glad for the change of subject. “I believe it's somewhere in the fifty silver area. Fifty-three to be exact.”
Groaning in exasperation, my hands rake their way through my hair. “How many days is it going to take to make enough to buy a bow? The sisters need more food to feed the refugees, but in order to fulfill the requisition I’ll need to get a bow to hunt with.”
“How much do you have?”
“What?” I level a confused look toward him.
“You earned money today, correct?” I nod. “Did you count it?” That receives a slow shake and Varric sighs heavily. “Hand it here, Noisy. I’ll do it.” I pass him my coin purse which he immediately dumps into his hand. His eyes shift quickly over the coins then he pours them back into the purse and tosses it back to me. “Eleven silver. Twelve bronze. That’s quite the haul for one day. What did you do all day?” He chuckles.
“I-I-I picked elfroot.” The small purse seems to give off a holy light in my hands now. “What I didn’t need for the requisition I sold to Adan. He offered a silver for each bundle I brought in for him.”
“Elfroot is worth three, but it's true that money is tight around here so one is a pretty decent offer considering.” Varric rubs his chin. What’s he thinking? “Well it’s late Noisy. You should finish your mead and hit the hay.”
“Wait.” I look lazily into the mug. “This was mead? Shit.” Eyes widening a bit, no wonder I’ve been so open.
Varric laughs so hard his chair leans back almost toppling over. “Do you have a sense of taste? You downed a whole mug and a half without noticing what you were drinking.”
“I’ve never had anything like this before.” It’s sweet. “It tastes pretty good.” I tip back the rest of the mug. Varric does this kind of snicker that makes me think I’ve made a mistake. I probably did.
“Come see me in the morning. It should be interesting for both of us.” He stands up, leaving through the same door he had pushed me through.
Now that I’m alone I finally take in the crowd of loud drunken soldiers and my eyes lock on her immediately. The girl from before. She’s in the middle of a group of soldiers and, by the looks of her sweeping hand gestures, very animated about something. Her hair is no longer braided and falls in waves to her lower back. Unusual for a soldier. She laughs at something someone says. It’s a loud and very real laugh, the kind that knocks your head back and brings tears to your eyes. It’s been so long since I’ve seen one as pure as that. It's absolutely captivating. Her eyes drift over the crowd as she wipes at the tears when they pass over me they snap back. I feel the daggers in her stare from across the tavern. It’s unbearable to tolerate. The tavern feels hot, the tunic feels hot, my blood feels hot. Stumbling over myself I bolt.
The cool night air washes over me as soon as I clear the threshold. I can almost see steam rolling off of me, but it’s most likely just my breath. A quick glance up tells me it’s late. A yawn escapes me. The need to find a place to rest is now blatantly obvious. Looking to my right I notice a couple of large bundles of hay to the side of the tavern. It’s better than nothing.
After moving the bundles into a more practical sleeping position and with another yawn I lay down. With the day I’ve had, combined with the alcohol, rest comes easy and I slip quickly and quietly into the Fade. My last thoughts are of green forest and dark red waves.