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soonyoung feels empty, going back to seoul alone after his trip to busan came to an end. it was supposed to be an epic, soul-searching journey, but it left him feeling emptier than he initially was. on his last day in busan, he met a lost kid named chan, looking around, terrified. and as a helpful adult, he offered to find the kid’s parent together. young chan initially declined at first, putting up ten fingers in front of his face, emphasizing that he’s already a ten year old kid and finding his dad wouldn’t be a problem for him.
except it was.
he was a lost ten year old kid, with no money in his pocket, stomach gurgling like mad from hunger. the kid eventually gave in and tagged along with him so they could get something to eat. soonyoung got him a bungeoppang from one of the stalls and a tanghulu for dessert. while going around the busy street, chan talking endlessly as he ate the food in his hand, the two seemed to have forgotten about the time and the reason why the two of them teamed up in the first place. soonyoung eventually came to his senses, reminding chan that they should look for his dad instead of idly sitting around. they both got up, soonyoung asking chan if he memorized his dad’s number.
unfortunately, young chan could only memorize the first three numbers of his dad’s phone number.
fortunately though, soonyoung noticed the tag dangling on chan’s backpack. if only i had noticed it a few hours ago, chan and his dad might’ve been reunited by now! soonyoung dialed the number and reassured the dad that his son was safe, telling them of their location. half an hour later, soonyoung saw a man rushing to where they were. and it seemed like chan knew the man as he came running towards the five foot eleven or something stranger.
young chan came back, hand-in-hand with his dad, the adult looking visibly worried. the dad apologized to him, but soonyoung brushed it off, saying he enjoyed chan’s company. the dad thanked him, squatted down to meet chan’s height, brushed the sweat off chan’s forehead and told the kid to say his thanks, to which chan did with a big smile on his face. i enjoyed your company, uncle!
hey! i’m young enough to be a hyung! he retorted back, earning a laugh from the father-son duo. but it was a useless remark—to a kid as young as chan, everyone around soonyoung’s age would seem like an uncle or an aunt. before the father-son duo bid their final good bye, he heard the dad telling chan that it was a relief that it was soonyoung who found him. not all strangers are kind.
meeting chan and spending time with him felt magical for soonyoung. he had always imagined being a parent, attending his kid’s performance at school, preparing breakfast for them, and packing their lunch. after chan left, soonyoung felt lonelier than ever. sure, people would think it’d be easy to have a child. just find a good wife to marry— the adults would say.
but that’s the problem.
soonyoung doesn’t want a wife. for the longest time, soonyoung had known it in himself that he likes people of the same sex. sure, surrogacy may be an option, but soonyoung isn’t financially ready for it. he could adopt, but adoption is a rigorous process and for someone like soonyoung who has a nine to five job, where would he find the time to go to an orphanage, spend time with a kid to figure out they’re potentially a match?
on the first day of his teaching gig, on his way to homeroom, soonyoung is excited to meet the kids. temporarily, while their homeroom teacher is on a one week leave due to an emergency, he would sub his co-worker and meet the kids on her behalf. “hi, kids!” he greets them enthusiastically and introduces himself. one kid from the back responds back with i know you, teacher! your name is kwon soonyoung!
it’s chan! the kid he met in busan!
after homeroom, he leaves chan’s class to go to his first period. it’s definitely nice to see a familiar face on his first day of work. he didn’t see it coming, seeing the kid again made his heart swell in pure happiness. if only he could find a kid as nice as chan to adopt, then maybe, he could consider adopting.
on his way back home, he sees chan waiting at the bench by the school’s gate. he sits down beside him and asks why he’s still at school—it had already been an hour since dismissal and it seems like his friends had gone home. “i’m waiting for dad, teacher soonyoung. maybe dad got caught up in traffic or something,” chan tells him, hands playing with the hem of his uniform.
“do you want me to call your dad?” he still has chan’s dad’s number anyway. and it wouldn’t take so much of his time to give chan’s dad a call. the call finally goes through and he hears the familiar voice he heard last weekend. “mr. jeon, hi, this is teacher soonyoung. the one you met in busan. i’m here at school and chan says you’ll pick him up, but it has been an hour and almost everyone has gone home.”
“oh, shoot!” from the tone of his voice, soonyoung could easily tell that wonwoo might have forgotten about picking the kid up. “sorry, teacher soonyoung. can you please tell chan to wait for me a bit? i’ll be there in an hour.”
“in an hour?!” soonyoung is surprised by the rise in his tone. he just couldn’t imagine young chan waiting for another hour for his dad to arrive. “everyone would be gone by then, mr. jeon. i couldn’t possibly leave chan alone here. if it’s okay, i’ll accompany him home. if you could just send the address, i’ll make sure to send him home safe.”
chan’s dad agrees to the idea and texts him their address. and as if the gods are on their side, chan lives in the same apartment complex as him! only different floors. chan happily joins him on their trip back home, holding his hand as they walk to the station.
it takes them half an hour to arrive at the complex and now, standing in front of the door to chan’s place, the kid realizes his keys are with his dad. left with no choice, soonyoung brings the kid to his place while they wait for his dad to arrive. he also takes it upon himself to inform chan’s dad that chan is with him, telling him his unit number so he could fetch chan later when he arrives.
when chan’s dad arrives at his unit, he sends chan off first to go to theirs, giving him the keys. chan’s dad, whose name is wonwoo, keeps on bowing as he says his gratitude. and as much as he wants to get mad at him for keeping his son waiting for him, he couldn’t find it in his heart to reprimand the seemingly exhausted office worker.
“it’s not a problem, mr. jeon. it’s a good thing we live in the same complex.”
“i lost track of time, to be honest,” wonwoo seems deflated, sweating bullets in his suit. “i forgot about chan.”
“maybe you could ask someone else to fetch chan in case you’ll get caught up again in work? chan was alone waiting for you.”
“oh,” wonwoo smiles at him flatly, eyes looking sad. “it’s just me and him. my brother who used to care for him while i was at work, recently graduated and found a job. so yeah, just me and my son.”
soonyoung feels sorry, feeling like he pried on the father-son duo’s life. “you have my number, right? you could always send me a text if you think you can’t fetch chan. i could always accompany him home like today. we live in the same apartment complex after all.”
“thank you, teacher soonyoung. i’ll surely take you up on that offer.” wonwoo hands him a paper bag from the bakery near their neighborhood. they serve nice walnut pie and soonyoung has taken a liking. “it’s nothing fancy, teacher soonyoung. just a pie from the bakery around here. to thank you for taking chan in.”
soonyoung accepts the gift and is surprised by wonwoo smiling at him, flashing the most gorgeous smile he has ever seen. “i didn’t know you were a teacher.”
“feels like you’re dissing me, mr. jeon. don’t i look like one?”
“just wonwoo, teacher soonyoung. and no, i’m not dissing you. i just thought you were a college student the last time we met.”
soonyoung chuckles at the unexpected compliment. “are you saying i look young? and by the way, just soonyoung is fine.”
“maybe i am.”
ever since that day, soonyoung felt protective of chan. he finds himself looking after the father-son duo. he would often remind wonwoo of a school activity where parents are invited to come. and out of all the times soonyoung has told wonwoo that he must come to see chan perform his dance piece for the talent show, or see chan play at the sportsfest, or support chan during the in-school quiz bee, or some other school activities, wonwoo had only come twice, if he remembers correctly.
and believe soonyoung when he says he doesn’t want to interfere with their lives. but wonwoo forgetting about the kids’ show-and-tell where they’re given the chance to show off their parents really is the last string for soonyoung. he saw how the kid refused to say the piece he prepared in front of class and if it wasn’t for him saying chan could pretend he’s wonwoo, the day would have ended without chan having the chance to tell to class how much he loves his dad.
my dad’s name is jeon wonwoo. he’s thirty years old and i know he loves me so much. he works really hard for me, to send me to school, to buy me things i want and need. i know dad worries a lot about me even if he doesn’t say it, but i worry about him too. i’d love it if dad takes the time to rest.
i know dad isn’t here right now, but i’ll make sure to give this letter to him when we get home. i love you, dad.
that night, chan falls asleep in soonyoung’s room waiting for his dad to come home. wonwoo, around dismissal time, asked him a favor, if it wouldn’t be a bother if chan would go home with him and stay at his place for a while until wonwoo finishes his overtime work. to thank soonyoung for his usual help, wonwoo sends him a coupon and tells him to order whatever the two of them want for dinner.
around ten in the evening, there’s a knock on soonyoung’s front door. and without looking at the security monitor installed on his wall by the front door, soonyoung knows his visitor is none other than wonwoo. he unlocks the door and instead of letting wonwoo in, he comes out and closes the door behind him, saying they have to talk about something really important.
“you forgot about chan’s show and tell, wonwoo.”
“shit? that was today? i’m sorry i forgot, it was so busy at work and—” wonwoo halts when soonyoung hands him a piece of paper with a handwritten letter on it. it’s the letter chan wrote with his still messy handwriting. wonwoo looks solemnly at him before taking the paper.
“read it,”
wonwoo stares at him right back, after he finishes reading the short letter chan has written for him. “you missed that, wonwoo.”
“fuck, i’m really sorry, soonyoung. i know i messed up,” soonyoung doesn’t know a thing or two about being a dad, and he knows he might be overstepping his boundaries if he says anything more than what he already said, but chan was really disappointed earlier that day. sure, the ice cream they ate on the way home might have cheered the little kid up a little, but there’s only so much a material thing can make up for the absence of an important figure in his life. and right now more than ever, chan needs a dad.
“not to me, wonwoo. to your son. please, try a little harder for chan? i know it isn’t right for me to question your role as chan’s dad, but it makes me sad to see chan looking at his classmates having the time of their lives with their parents. if you can’t be a father to him, you shouldn’t have—”
“chan—he, he isn’t mine. he became a part of the family when he was barely two,” soonyoung doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to react. when he thought he knew a lot about the father-son duo already, it turns out he doesn’t. and he feels bad for intruding. “something happened a-and, his parents couldn’t raise him. they were my relatives and i couldn’t turn them down,” it seems like chan is still asleep so soonyoung suggests it might be better for them to talk at their place instead, for privacy.
once they arrive at wonwoo and chan’s home, they sit down on the sofa, wonwoo continuing his story from the point where it was interrupted. “i thought it was the right thing to do and my family promised to help me raise chan until i secure a job and have the means to take care of him on my own. i’ve been his legal guardian since i was twenty-two and it has been eight years since then,”
soonyoung just listens, allowing wonwoo to say what he have been keeping all this time. raising chan alone after receiving assistance from his family for the longest time must’ve been hard and soonyoung just has to make wonwoo feel he wasn’t doing a great job with raising chan. he sure needs to learn how to shut his mouth sometimes. “i’ve been doing overtime this past few months because i’ve been meaning to adopt chan as my own. i’ve been earning a pretty decent amount, but i know i need to earn more. chan’s growing up and time flies so fast, soonyoung. he’d be in college in no time,”
“i’m sorry, wonwoo, i was just—it was just—”
“no, it’s okay. maybe i needed this to realize i wasn’t doing a good job as chan’s dad.”
“no, wonwoo. you’re doing really great. chan is a really nice kid and i’m sure he wouldn’t be this understanding and caring if it weren’t for you.” wonwoo smiles at him bitterly, shaking his head, refusing to acknowledge his words. “oh my god, i’m really sorry. to make it up to you, why don’t you come here tomorrow for breakfast? i’ll cook!”
“you don’t really have to,”
“but i insist! i doubt you still have the time to cook home cooked meals for yourselves. chan tells me you’re always eating take outs for dinner!”
“are you really sorry, soonyoung? why does it feels like you’re teasing me?”
“shoot, i’m not, okay? just really worried. so, are you up for it or not?”
“i guess it’d be nice to eat healthy food once in a while.”
“once in a while, jeon wonwoo?!”
it became a weekly thing. saturday morning’s breakfast is always in care of soonyoung. wonwoo chips in money to buy ingredients and soonyoung accepts them albeit hesitantly. chan seems to enjoy it and wonwoo couldn’t be more happier to see chan having the time of his life, talking about his week over the dining table while having breakfast with him and soonyoung.
“it’s actually nice to have someone around and help me with chan,” wonwoo tells his best friend slash colleague, jihoon over lunch. “soonyoung has really been a great help and he seems to genuinely like having chan over at his place.”
“you should start dating again, wonwoo.” jihoon suggests and he’s actually receptive with the idea.
“do you have someone in mind? do you know anyone?”
jihoon looks at him weirdly. “that’s not what i meant, but go on. i’m sure you’ll realize it on your own anyway.”
it has been five weeks since wonwoo stopped joining him and chan for their saturday breakfast kind of thing. and frankly, soonyoung has been curious with what wonwoo has been up to lately. wonwoo seemed ecstatic whenever they come over so he’s a little anxious if he has said anything to tick the older man off.
“chan, kiddo. your dad hasn’t been joining us lately, it seems. would you know why?”
chan comes up to him with his dirty plate in his hands. soonyoung gets the plate from him and places it down in the sink. “oh, i think he’s going out on a date. i heard him talk with uncle jiji on the phone last night.”
oh is the only reply soonyoung could think of at the moment. stupid heart! he feels his heart sunk to the deepest parts of the ocean upon hearing chan’s answer. just because you’ve became close to him doesn’t mean you stand a chance. wake up, soonyoung! wonwoo probably just sees you as his friend.
“i just couldn’t understand it, teacher soonyoung. why can’t dad just date you instead?”
and for the second time that morning, soonyoung has been rendered speechless.
wonwoo feels hopeless. he had gone out on five dates on five saturdays with five different people but none of them had really made him feel something other than disappointment. whenever he mentioned chan, they immediately took off in the middle of the meal, excusing themselves to go to the restroom but never really came back.
“it’s so hard to find someone, jihoon,” he slumps, feeling dejected over the five teams he was rejected. “how can i find someone who’ll like me with chan too?”
he hears jihoon click his tongue, sighing exasperatedly at him. “you don’t have to look that far to find what you’re looking for, wonwoo. you’re actually an idiot, too.”
“are you saying i should ask soonyoung out?”
“well, who else if not him?” wonwoo had considered asking soonyoung out. when jihoon mentioned about dating a month ago, soonyoung immediately came to mind. but he’s just worried, is it really proper to ask a teacher in chan’s school out? wouldn’t it pose a problem for him? and, does soonyoung even see him as something other than a friend? “are you worried about soonyoung not liking you back?”
“it’s just as if you read my mind, jihoon!” he cries.
“you’re really stupid. or dense. whatever. but don’t tell me you don’t feel it? the teacher likes you, wonwoo! the way you describe soonyoung tells me there’s more to it than wanting his friends around. he opened his home for you and chan. and sure, it might just be him being a friendly neighbor, but he’s going out of his way to make time for you two.”
“i should try it, don’t i?”
“you’re really stupid if you don’t.”
“chan,” he calls chan from his bedroom, asking him to go out to the living room and help him out with something. “can you help me pick out clothes for tomorrow?”
“dad,” chan refuses to look at him, crossing his arms over his chest, back facing wonwoo. “if you’re going out on a date again, i’m not going to help you out.”
“even if it’s teacher soonyoung this time?”
chan swiftly turns around excitedly, running to him only to frown. “really? a suit on a date? at least i know not to wear one on my first date. and it’s teacher soonyoung you’re asking out! you don’t have to be really formal around him. you’re good with this,” chan picks up a hoodie he bought over shopee. chan sure is going casual with this one. “and this,” chan hands him his favorite jeans from levi’s. “and this.” and to complete his look, chan gives him his light, wide-framed eyeglasses. chan must’ve remembered soonyoung praising his looks when he wore it one saturday morning when they came home to his unit for breakfast.
the next morning, wonwoo knocks on the door of soonyoung’s apartment, holding chan with his other hand. soonyoung opens it up and they stare at each other momentarily. soonyoung looks cute wearing the apron he bought for him as a gift. “i didn’t know you’d be here, wonwoo. i only bought two servings of rice to heat up.”
“you don’t have a date this weekend?”
“oh, no one, for now.”
“i don’t know what that means, but please come in.” chan giggles and soonyoung looks at them weirdly, as if trying to decipher what that laugh meant.
“if, let’s say, someone asks you out on a date, would you say yes?”
soonyoung turns around to face him, turning the stove off before placing the eggs on the plate on the table. “and who would that someone be?”
“me?”
“what?”
“i’m that someone, soonyoung. i’m asking you out. well, i’ve always wanted to ask you out, but—”
“what?! always? then why have you gone out on so many dates then?”
“because dad’s stupid,”
the two of them burst out laughing. it’s not the answer they weren’t expecting to hear after all. “what he said, but i was just worried, soonyoung. you work at where chan goes to school and… and i don’t know if you like me too. i’m also three years older than you and i’m with a kid.”
“you’re worried about me being a teacher at chan’s school? and if i don’t like you too? too? so you’ve been crushing on me too? since when? huh, wonwoo?” soonyoung has been asking a lot of questions and as much as he likes to respond to them one by one, soonyoung isn’t really giving him the chance to do so. “and you’re worried about a three year age gap? and me not liking chan? what universe are you living in, wonwoo? because in my universe, it’s not like i’m chan’s teacher. i only subbed for my co-worker and that’s it. i don’t care about a three year age gap. that’s stupid. and most of all, chan is adorable. how can i not like this smartass kid?”
“so that’s a yes?”
“well,” soonyoung walks up to chan and crouches down to meet his height. “if this kiddo is okay with it, then i’d have no problem. is it okay for me to date your dad? you won’t be embarrassed about me dating your dad?”
“why would i be, teacher soonyoung? dad showed me that love knows no gender and it shouldn’t matter. dad has been nothing but nice and loving to me and i want to see him be happy being in love.” wonwoo’s heart swells at the sight of soonyoung hugging chan. jihoon’s right. he shouldn’t have looked far when the answer’s right in front of him.
soonyoung stands up, tidying his sweatshirt, walks up to him and stares at him with the most beautiful set of orbs he had ever seen.
“then i guess that’s a yes, wonwoo.”