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Miguel didn’t know his feelings shifted towards something less professional, less admirational. Well, that was a lie. Miguel did know when the feelings first started, he just didn’t want to admit it to himself. He didn’t want to admit that the messy and loud man had managed to worm his way into Miguel’s heart. A heart that had simply been broken a few too many times to try and love another adult again.
Yet here it was, beating hard for the man with hazel eyes and grey’s throughout mousy brown hair. Here was Miguel, watching this man who couldn’t stop talking to save his life- the one who would get out a quip even if he got a broken bone, or several, in the process.
Miguel had brought his feelings up to Jessica once, the only person to ever hear that the great Miguel O’Hara had actually fallen in love with someone. Of course he didn’t dare say exactly who it was, but Jess didn’t need him to do that in order for her to figure out just who had Miguel feeling like this.
So she had told him to write his feelings out, figure out when the feelings had started and go from there. And in true Miguel O’Hara fashion, the man put off doing it for weeks.
Miguel had only started typing out his feelings when it had all become too much for him to truly hide anymore. These feelings were starting to bleed into how he interacted with that stupid hero, it was starting to become far too obvious to others around them and Miguel needed to stop these feelings in their tracks. Yet no matter how much Miguel wrote on that holo-screen, the feelings wouldn’t subside- they kept growing and that annoying hero wasn’t even around!
Miguel let out a grunt of frustration, swiping the holo-screen away and pulling up a new one to type into- this time trying to write his feelings coherently, as if he was going to send a letter. Of course he would never actually send it, but maybe if he could just trick his mind into thinking he would then perhaps it would allow him to push these feelings back down to a manageable level.
Miguel then spent hours crafting the perfect series of letters, confessions that weren’t weirdly detailed or some weird strange high-school esque confession. They were well written and each one could be read individually, and it made Miguel feel relieved. The relief was cut short when his watch beeped at him, showing the alarm he had set onto it- Gabriella’s soccer game.
Miguel stepped away from the holo-screens and pulled on his civilian clothes, letting his suit slowly fade off his body as he opened a portal up to his home in Gabriella’s universe. The tension faded from his shoulders as he walked into the portal, sending a message to Peter B’s watch just to let him know that Gabriella’s soccer game was soon and she wanted Peter there to support her. Miguel didn’t notice the warning that popped up on his desk, a warning that Gabriella’s universe was unstable and could collapse if preventative measures weren’t put in place immediately.
Miguel simply stepped through that portal to go see his daughter.
The very night Miguel was alone at his desk, the room dark and desolate- not even Lyla was around as he had practically banned her from his office until further notice. Miguel’s hands were shaking as he stared at a still image of his little girl, the very last photo he had of her. One of the only things he had left of her.
Something caught his attention, pulling it away from his little girl- a text only holo-screen. That confused Miguel for a moment, so he pulled it forward and let his eyes skim over the page for a few seconds. Realization hit Miguel quickly and hard, the love confession he had made just earlier today.
Miguel’s shoulders sagged, there was no way that he could possibly send these out now- even if he possibly thought he could have earlier, he couldn’t now. Peter had been there with him when the universe collapsed, he had seen the way those people screamed for their help- the way Gabriella cried for Miguel.
Miguel pulled all of the letters forward, putting them all into their own folder and sighing softly. His heart had been shattered for the last time, he had lost the most important thing in his life. He couldn’t let Peter stay in his heart, not when them being together could possibly make one of their universes collapse. And let’s be honest, it would probably be Peter’s universe rather than Miguel’s- what with it being an offshoot of the true E-616 after all.
So Miguel bottled up his feelings, pushing them down deep and hiding them away as he locked that folder behind a series of password locked files. He had to keep it in a place not even he would find after all, he couldn’t afford to let himself get close to Peter- he couldn’t bear the thought of letting another person’s universe collapse because of his selfish wants.
So those stupid love letters will never be sent, Peter B Parker will never know of Miguel’s true feelings.
Love at first sight, what a stupid concept Miguel believed in.
Love at first sight || Such silly four words put together || I’ve never been one to believe in love || Let alone love at first sight || But that was until I met you || Your messy brown hair || Your contagious smile || The way your hazel eyes light up when your favorite things get brought up || The way you’re so kind and caring to those around you || The way you’d make sure i was okay every time I seemed down || The way you are so gentle with your words || You were the first person who truly made me feel seen || But not only that || You were also the first person who made me believe in love at first sight.