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When Nami finally wakes up from her nap, the sun has already set. She yawns, stretches, and slowly slides one leg over the edge of the bed, then the other, lifting her torso from the mattress like a corpse rising from the grave. She rubs her eyes and checks the time. Perfect. The festival doesn't start for another thirty minutes. Lucky she didn't oversleep. And look at that! She's already dressed, shoes and all.
"What did you put in that stew, Ruby? A sleep aid?" Nami mutters, rubbing her eyes and letting out another yawn. She needs to freshen up before she heads out. Samantha will want to leave a few minutes early, and they agreed to walk together to Gustafa's tonight. Nami chuckles as she imagines the fight Sam and Kate must be having right now. She loves that little girl. Kate's spirit reminds Nami of herself, when she was young. But Samantha is so protective; girls like Kate, the ones who have trouble conforming to society's expectations of how a "lady" should behave, tend to struggle in life. As one of those girls herself, Nami understands why Samantha would want to protect her daughter from that. Still, when she's being so hard on Kate, Nami can't help but wish Sam would remember that she used to be one of those girls, too.
Deep down, there are other reasons why Nami wishes Samantha would unchain her inner free spirit. All of these shy glances in public, making up excuses to see each other, sneaking into quiet places for a moment alone - it's fun, but it's not sustainable. Not that this is a dealbreaker for Nami. Not that she expected anything different from a romance with a married woman. But it's starting to hurt, a little, and not just because her affection is growing. It's just a little depressing, living in someone else's shame. She knows Samantha isn't intending to make her feel this way, but Nami has sacrificed a lot to live her life on her own terms, free from those who would force her into boxes she didn't fit into. This thing between them was finite from the start, but was she stupid to get involved in the first place?
Nami straightens her jacket and smooths her hair in the mirror. No, not stupid. She imagines Gustafa saying this, as he probably would. He and Nami are alike in that way, believing that life is to be experienced, that people come and go as they're meant to and that this is a good thing. Nami's romance with Samantha will run its course when the time is right. But tonight, they're going stargazing. It's Nami's favorite festival of the year, and despite her mixed feelings about their situation, she's happy to be going with Sam.
She grabs a blanket from her bed and heads downstairs, shivering as she leaves the inn. The winter air is chilling, but at least the sky is clear. Nami heads across the road to Sam and what's-his-name's house, already enlivened by the buzz of chatter coming from the direction of Gustafa's hut. Most of the town is gathered there, passing around hot chocolate and snacks. Ruby made a huge pot of soup for the event - and Nami happens to know that she used her special spice, so it's sure to warm the night.
Nami knocks on the door, and immediately, Kate answers it.
"Nami!" she squeals, her signature braids peaking out underneath a thick wool hat.
"Oh! You're here," Samantha says, appearing behind Kate with a stack of blankets and a big thermos.
"Hey! Let me help you with that," Nami says, taking the blankets and stuffing them under her arm.
"Oh, thank you, Nami," Samantha says. "I finally convinced her to bundle up; we're ready to go."
"Nami isn't wearing a hat!" Kate complains. Nami chuckles. This is a recurring theme; Kate's a smart kid, and takes all the slack she can get. It's hard for Sam to argue when her acquittal to Nami's personal choices clashes with what she demands of her daughter. It's actually made Sam loosen up with her - a little.
"Oh, but I regret it!" Nami says. "It's so cold, you're going to lose me at the festival. I'll be hiding under this pile of blankets!"
Samantha smiles. Nami's heart warms.
As they walk over to Gustafa's, Kate spots Hugh and immediately runs to him and his family.
"Stay within sight!" Samantha calls. Kate tackles Hugh, nearly to the ground, laughing when he gets mad. "Kate!! No roughhousing!" Samantha groans. Kate ignores her and starting punching Hugh in the arm. "KATE!"
Nami winces. She hates when Samantha yells at her like that. Instead of saying that, though, she laughs instead and says, "She's a good one." She inches closer to Samantha. "She's gonna be quite a force when she gets older, don't you think?"
"I know she will," Sam says, looking concerned as she watches Kate. "I just hope she grows out of this tomboy phase. She has no idea... The world just doesn't want to see girls like that."
Nami sighs. "You know, Sam..." She trails off, losing courage as they come up to the gathering. If the sound of Gustafa's music and the town's chatter wasn't enough distraction, Muffy, representing the bar, approaches them with a tray of beverages.
"Get it while it's hot!" she says, giggling. "Can I interest you ladies in some cocoa? Or maybe something even warmer?"
"I brought my own, thank you," Samantha says.
"Yeah, uh, I'll pass for now," Nami says, adding to Sam, "Come on, let's set up over here."
They spread a blanket on the ground behind Gustafa's hut - sufficiently out of mind without being totally out of sight. Once they're situated, Sam finally relaxes, her posture visibly softening. She smiles at Nami and takes her hand under the blanket. Nami squeezes her.
"You're a bit hard on her, you know." The words are out of Nami's mouth before she can stop them.
"I know," Samantha says, surprisingly unfazed. "But I'd rather her hate me forever than suffer like I did. And maybe.." she shrugs. "Kate is wilder than I was at her age. I don't see her making the same choices I did. She needs to be strong if she's going to be... well.."
"Herself?" Nami says.
"Well, if she's going to give into whatever these inclinations are, yes."
Nami sighs, frustrated. "Sam, I know you think you're doing what's best for her, and normally I'd stay out of it, but take it from me - you're not building her up. It's the opposite. You're making it harder for her by not being the first person who will accept her for who she is. There are people out there like her, people who will really embrace her - it's not all danger out there - but how is she ever going to know that if you prove every day that no one will ever like her unless she becomes someone else?"
Samantha pulls her hand away. "Where is all of this coming from, Nami? Do you really think this badly of me?"
"No, that's not what I meant." Nami rubs her face. "Look, I've told you a little about my history. I was young when I left home. Like, only a few years older than Kate. This isn't the only reason why, but I was berated constantly - everything about myself was up for critique, was an excuse for someone else to take their own pain out on me. That "tough love" didn't make me stronger, it made me a target. It wasn't love at all. They just forced me to live in their shame, and that's not ... I carried it with me for a long time, and it almost ruined my life."
"What are you saying?" Sam says defensively. "This really isn't any of your business, you know. Why are you doing this? She's not your daughter, and I'm not the people who hurt you."
"No, but you remind me of them sometimes."
Silence. Nami looks down at the blanket, unwilling to elaborate.
"Is this really about Kate?"
Nami sighs. "It is, kind of, I mean... I'm sorry, Sam. I... I didn't mean to do this right now, but it's just... You're so ashamed of who you are, you're like, living this lie and now I'm living it too and it's starting to make me feel like shit. I really care about you, and I've loved spending time with you, but I don't think we should see each other like this anymore."
A pause. "Oh. I see."
They're quiet. Nami watches Samantha, who stares down at her hands. Her expression is neutral. Samantha takes a deep breath. "Well, okay then. I understand. I am married, after all. I suppose I should have known this was coming."
"Yeah," Nami exhales. She looks out at the moonlit sea. It's a beautiful night. Looks like the whole town is here, even the archeologists from the mountain. Sam looks beautiful too. It makes her sad. "You should leave him. I don't know if anyone has ever told you that, but... yeah. You deserve to be happy. You could be, you know."
"Okay, Nami, I get it. I think you should go."
Nami can't help but tense. Samantha's gone cold. Her lips are pursed, and she won't look at her. "Okay," she says, standing. "You can, uh, you can keep the blanket, I have... others." She cringes inwardly. She's so awkward at break ups. She doesn't look back as she joins Ruby and Tim by the vestibules on the beach. She forces a smile and accepts the bowl of soup Ruby instantly prepares for her. She sips it, letting the steam warm her nose and cheeks.
"Hey, hey," Gustafa stops next to her. He shoves her shoulder, sipping on cocoa. "How's it going?"
"Oh, you know." Nami shrugs. "I'm alright."
Gustafa nods, squinting in a way only Nami would understand as with a loaded question.
"It's just another ending," she says. "I'll tell you later."
"Endings are just beginnings in funky hats," Gustafa says, flicking the flower in his own funky hat.
Nami chuckles. "Yeah, yeah."
They keep chatting for a while. They all laugh as Tim acts out one of his stories. It gets funnier the more he drinks. Eventually, though, Nami can't help but look over at Samantha. She's sitting with her head on her knees, facing the beach. Nami can't see her face. She grimaces and looks away.