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Recently, Takehisa looked forward going to school. This was a new feeling and he had to thank Kitano for it. Until then, he had only cared about getting into fights and getting out of them as the winner. He wanted to feel strong. Needed it. But now he knew those feelings were childish.
Even if he wasn’t the strongest in this school, he was lucky to be Kitano’s second.
After all, Kitano was a great leader. With looks that makes the thoughest thugs hesitate to take him on, and the presence to accompany it. He had class. Everyone naturally knew to get out of his way. Kitano didn’t even need to threaten people, or raise his voice. He took his role of guardian seriously.
Just by being by his side, Takehisa felt he was bettering himself. Slowly learning to pick his fights. After all, there weren’t many people worth his time! He hoped most of all to one day inherit Kitano’s composed nature. The guardian only lost it and looked like a proper demon when one of his underlings was hurt. Which was, embarrassingly enough, often Takehisa himself.
Still… to be looked after by such a character… to be bandaged by his hands… to be seen as useful, important even… Takehisa was grateful.
He looked at the boy sitting next to him, eyes squinting a bit from the light hitting him from outisde the window. Kitano’s profile was a sight he couldn’t get enough of. Standing straight in his seat, focusing all his attention to his textbook, he would look like a diligent student if not for his slided back hair and his face out of a horror manga. The contradiction was fascinating to him.
The bandaid above his lack of eyebrow looked nice too.
Taking him out of his thoughts, the classroom door opened abruptly.
Takehisa knew, as soon as he saw Kuroda’s face, that the guy would say something stupid. Not that it was a difficult thing to guess; the idiot having probably not said a single thing in his life worth listening to.
He walked all the way to their seats near the window, followed as usual by the two idiots he didn’t bother remembering the names off. Takehisa had thought he came to bother Kitano and was ready to tell him to fuck off, but to his surprise, it’s him that Kuroda had to see. That was annoying. But he got up to not cause a scene before class even started. Kitano was strangely serious about school. Which was honestly kinda cool.
Following the trio to their usual place, Takehisa assumed they were looking for a fight, and he was in a good enough mood to give it to them. But instead Kuroda had to open his mouth.
It started with "You’re close to Kitano-san, right?" which, duh, as his second!
Then "Did he look different to you today?" and duh to that too, it was rare for him to need to cover a bruise! Kuroda had to believe him stupid and it was starting to irriate Takehisa.
But he didn’t stop there "I mean like… does he seem more chatty today? Is there stars in his eyes?" and at this point Takehisa wondered if Kuroda had fallen somewhere and hit his head pretty hard, because this was too strange, even for him.
When he asked him to get to the point (not sure if he had any) Kuroda coughed to buy himself time. Looking around in a shady way. Ugh, he’ll never have the patience to deal with this dude. Already he was tired and irritable. Damn you, Kuroda!
"So… what type of girls does Kitano-san likes?"
For a second Takehisa could only focus on how stupid Kuroda looked. He always did, but in this moment it was exacerbated. Then, he finally made sense of the words.
But before he had the time to say ‘uh’ or ‘the hell’ or even just to punch him in the chin, Kuroda just had to open his mouth again.
"Are looks important to him? Does he prefer the girly or tomboy type? Or… does he not care as long as it’s a girl?!"
Even the two dudes who followed him everywhere for some reason he’ll probably never get, looked shocked by what they heard. Takehisa could already feel the headache starting. He sighed.
"I’m gonna hit you now" he warned Kuroda, but did so before the fool had time to process the words. He deserved it for wasting his time.
Back to the classroom, Kitano gave him a questioning look that he waved off. Takehisa just didn’t have the energy to explain whatever that had been. Instead he folded his arms on his desk and used it as a pillow. Class would start soon and he was not looking forward to it. Maybe if he took a short nap here, his whole day wouldn’t be ruined by stupid Kuroda. But Kitano will not be happy with him not paying attention during class… urgh.
He settled down for simply closing his eyes until the teacher got there. It was quiet for a time, and he only opened one eye from time to time to gaze at Kitano.
But apparently he hadn’t hit Kuroda hard enough because the door opened on him again. His skull had to be made of something stronger than bone, he could only see that.
Takehisa was about to get up from his chair to force Kuroda out of the room but before he could Kuroda raised a palm in peace, and told him he came to talk to Kitano this time. This did not calm Takehisa who was already sighing. Oh, what he would give for one day out of Kuroda’s bullshit…
All their classmates were staring at them, curious. All hoping for something interesting to happen. All but Takehisa.
Kuroda was taking his sweet time too. What a coward! Never able to just get to the point without shaking like a little kid scared of giving the wrong answer to the teacher. When he finally asked Kitano was his type is, Takehisa’s fist was shaking from holding himself of punching him again.
The classroom was eerily quiet then, waiting for Kitano’s answer.
And Takehisa was kinda curious too. But also kinda not. It was a strange feeling.
He was pretty sure he wanted to know. Or, no. More like he needed to know. Like it was important, vital information. Like he should be the first to know it. And if possible the only one. How Kuroda could dare ask that? Like he deserved the answer?! And all their classmates, staring, mouth open… it made Takehisa feel sick.
He had to get out of there. Or better, take Kitano out of there. This situation just wasn’t fair. Wait… fair? Yeah. It’s not fair for these nobody to learn something so personal about Kitano! And it wasn’t fair for him either. Somehow. It was hard to explain why, other than he was the second so he should be the first to know… if Kitano wanted to share that with him. And only then! In private, when it was just them two.
His heart was beating fast and warmth spread in his body. Something about all this was awfully embarrassing and he was so mad about it! And Kitano still hasn’t said anything. Which was both painful and a relief. This had to be hell.
On Kitano’s usual hard to read expression was growing a faint blush. Oh.
Takehisa gulped with difficulty. Now he was terrified. He felt a blush on his own cheeks, but one that got there out of shame. His feelings and thoughts were such a mess in this moment it was like… he was ten different people all at once. None agreeing with the other. The color of Kitano’s pale skin did confusing things to him. It was a lovely sight, and he wanted to stare at it until his mind would take a perfect photo of it that he could remember in detail at any moment. But the tint of pink also made him want to run away, to not hear anything, to stay away from this information forever.
If Kitano had a type… Takehisa would lose something.
He didn’t have the courage to find out what, exactly, he would lose.
After an eternity, Kitano attempted a small smile, and said, with even the top of his ears red that he didn’t know. Maybe. He didn’t have a type, really.
Takehisa couldn’t hear anything else around him. So he didn’t hear Kuroda and his dudes leave, but felt it, slightly, without fully registering it. He didn’t know if the rest of the classroom was still staring or if they got bored of it. All he could hear and pay attention to was Kitano’s words repeating in his head.
No type. No preference. No good. No bad. Either Kitano just wasn’t interested in people… or, if the blush was any indication, he was more open than most. And what.
What.
What.
Does it means for Takehisa?
The teacher must have started class, Takehisa thought, still looking at Kitano, because the blush was fainter now and he was taking notes. But he still couldn’t hear anything, or bother to pay attention to anything other than Kitano.
Kitano who was always taking care of him. Who taught him to pay more attention to his body in a fight so he wouldn’t get hurt as easily. And Takehisa meant to follow that advice, really, because Kitano’s face when he noticed blood or bruises was more painful to him than any injury! The time Kitano gave him. The place he gave him next to him. The trust.
Takehisa felt so proud of being his second he could get feverish! Kitano wanted him there, had seen him as competent enough. It should be enough.
Takehisa shouldn’t be asking, or hoping for more.
But Kitano said he didn’t have a type. So maybe. No? But. Maybe… just maybe?
If he could be even more important for Kitano. Irreplaceable even. If Kitano saw more than a second in him. An equal. If he could touch him gently again, without having to bandage him as an excuse. If Kitano had an expression he showed only to Takehisa. If he smiled for him. If they could be alone, just enjoying each other presence, even without having to say anything.
If Kitano wanted him.
Takehisa threw his head in his arms. The lesson didn’t matter. Even Kitano being disappointed in him for not paying attention didn’t matter.
It was only some if. Why would Kitano look at him like that.
The moment he noticed his own feelings he had to be heartbroken, uh? That was more painful than any fight he’d been in, what the hell! Takehisa could curse himself. Was there even a point in noticing… what was he supposed to do with these feelings now? Stupid Kuroda, always out there ruining things for him! He’ll have to beat his ass again…
A tap on his shoulder got his attention. A paper folded in between Kitano’s long fingers. When Takehisa didn’t move to retrieve it, Kitano placed it down on his desk.
Takehisa felt slow, and heavy. Opening the note actually took effort. He wasn’t sure what he was dreading so much, but sure felt silly when he read those words:
"are you feeling ok? you should go to the infirmary if not"
He wasn’t upset at Takehisa for not paying attention in class, just worried about him.
It was warm in his chest, but not in a painful way. Not like earlier. More like… when Kitano touch him. Or smile to him. Takehisa shut his eyes, hard, to focus on that feeling.
Just a bit more. He wanted to feel that way longer. To hope. And if he told Kitano one day… even if Kitano didn’t feel the same. He thought he would at least accept him. And that was enough for now. Yeah. His feelings wouldn’t be made fun of. So he’s… allowed to feel this way. Surely!
He turned his face to Kitano to mouth the words "I’m ok"
And Kitano smiled at him. Eyes closed, teeth showing. Light hitting the back of his head like an halo.
Really, how could he not be in love with this guy?