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The world has felt dull for as long I could remember. Everyone describes this earth as something beautiful and inexplicably gorgeous, I beg to differ. The world is a cruel and oh so cold place. It throws you on the ground just to spit on your face and tell you to get up over and over again. How can people live like that? How deluded are you to not even comprehend the horrors of being alive?
Those questions started popping up ever since I met this man, he's too kind for this world. He's way too optimistic but maybe that's what attracts me to him. Maybe I stick by him so I can hope to be as delusional about the world as he is. It's tragic that he chooses to be around me. We're complete opposites and everytime I'm around I bring the atmosphere down with me. I'm starting to think he makes it his duty to try and fix someone that doesn't want to be fixed.
That being said, I should probably try to forget about him. He's probably friends with me because he pities me. He's rich, I'm poor. He's strong, I'm feeble. He's smart, I'm stupid. If I were to kill myself he'd probably move on in a week. Hm, maybe I should try that.
...
So I stand in front of a large tree, noose already tied just waiting to be hung around my neck. I'd prefer to jump off somewhere rather than hang, but beggars can't be choosers. Putting my head through the hole I hear crunching of leaves and grass. My heart stops, my hands get sweaty, and my breathing gets erratic. My eyes open wide and I look up to see someone standing there in shock.
We're both speechless. What do I do? Do I just go for it? No I won't suffocate in time. Do I get down? No, I still want to die.
Before I could even do anything he runs to me and grabs me down. Why? It should be better if I go. So just let me. It could be a show if you really wanted it to be. I could have a grand closing if you'd want it.
"W-WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" Tears swelled in his eyes. Why is he crying? He shouldn't cry, I don't want to see him cry. Out of all the tragedies in the world, to me, seeing him cry hurts me the most.
He holds me tightly as he weeps. My face feels numb, I don't even realize tears spill from my eyes until he pulls back and wipes them away for me.
"Why? Why were you going to kill yourself?" He asks me me with a tone in his voice proving to me that he genuinely cares about my well-being. But why? Someone like him shouldn't dwell on me. It makes no sense.
"Everytime... everytime I'm around it always ends up in people looking at me weirdly and saying I'm too depressing. I'm only being real. People don't understand that the world sucks. If people want to stay in their delusions then I'm just causing them trouble so, I'll die. It's a win win for everyone." That's right, no one wants me. Who would when all I talk about is the horrors of the world.
"I WANT YOU HERE! Don't leave... I don't know what I'd do if you're gone." What is he talking about? He could do so much without a person like me around.
"You ground me, you keep me from believing everyone is a good person. Yes the world sucks, but there is good to it. I want to show you those wonders." But why? I'm nothing compared to you.
He holds my hands. They're warm compared to my cold ones. It felt nice.
"Please, don't go. Let me help you open your eyes like you did for me."
What do I say to that? I can't say no. It'll break his heart, and seeing him cry is bad enough on my darkened soul.
I simply just nod my head and he puts a hand on my face. He feels so warm, I'd like to stay like this just for a while more. He's leaning in. Before I know it, his lips touch mine. I've never felt like this before. What is this? It's all fuzzy. I may be greedy for asking this, but can I stay like this forever?
"I love you." He says with passion in his voice.
I hesitate for a moment before responding.
"I love you too, Jonathan."