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Dazai coughed into his hand, beautiful bright red flower petals and part of an actual flower falling onto his hand. He'd kept this secret for so long. A month. How much longer could he maintain this lie? A day? Two weeks? Another month? Until he died? He didn't know.
Dazai looked at the flower petals and sighed, dumping them on the side of the road. They were red camellia petals. The flower representing love. Who does Dazai love, he wondered. Chuuya Nakahara was the first person that came to mind, but he brushed the idea off. No way would he fall for a stupid shorty who tries to kill him constantly. Stupid fucking Hanahaki disease. At least he'd go out with a bang, or rather a bunch of flowers, but honestly, Dazai hated flowers.
He hated flowers because they withered and died so easily. Like humans. They were so breakable, despite their beauty.
Flowers really are the worst, if you think about it.
Dazai walked to his usual bar, Bar Lupin, and walked in hesitantly, as he always had ever since Oda's passing. The door rang as Dazai opened the door, and sat down on a chair. "Two whiskey on the rocks, please." He handed over the right amount of Yen, and slouched at the counter, sighing. He put one of the drinks on the chair to his right and smiled weakly. "Bottoms up, Oda."
He drank all of the copper colored liquid in his cup and said goodbye, walking out the door. He came face to face with Chuuya, who clicked his tongue. "You again?" "Me again." Dazai smiled childishly.
He felt flower petals rise up his throat, and he quickly walked past Chuuya and ran up the stairs, running to behind the bar. The flower petals fell out of his mouth as he coughed them out, blood coating his throat from the strain. He doubled over, and fell to his knees on the ground, coughing. He choked as a whole flower fell out of his mouth, the petals laced in a slick layer of blood. Dazai murmured through his coughs, "Fuck..." He closed his eyes and stood up, leaning against the building. Tears of pain dripped on his cheeks, and saliva mixed with blood fell from his mouth.
Chuuya stood in the corner off the alley watching the bandaged man gasp for air. "Dazai." The name escaped his lips, his tone filled with worry and concern.
Dazai's eyes shot open, "Chuuya, why are you here?" "You ran off all of the sudden. You're a total idiot if you think I wouldn't follow you, shitty Dazai." "Insulting me already? I'm hurt, Chibi." "So what's with the flowers? Y' don't have Hanahaki, do you?" "No." Dazai very clearly lied. "Dumbass. Even a baby could tell you're lying." Chuuya walked closer to Dazai and extended his hand, rubbing Dazai's back awkwardly.
"So? Who is it?" He asked, glaring up at the brunette. "None of your business, Chibi-chan." "I'm making it my business. Who is it?" Chuuya grumbled, obviously worried for Dazai. "Nobody." "So you're just coughing up flowers for no reason?! Stop lying!! Tell me!!" Chuuya yelled, grabbed Dazai's collar. Dazai stumbled back a bit and slapped a hand over his own mouth, coughing and vomiting red camellias into his hand.
Chuuya hugged Dazai tightly and rubbed his back, he heard the flowers fall from his mouth and into the dirty ground. "Lemme go." Dazai mumbled, his voice was strained, and filled with a pain Chuuya hadn't ever heard before.
He only squeezed Dazai's shoulders and grumbled, "Not until you tell me who it is, so that I can help." "You-!! Why would you want to help?!" Dazai yelled, scrambling and fighting against the embrace, to which Chuuya slapped the back of his head. "I wanna help, because you were my friend, even if you're my enemy now. Besides, I want to be one to kill you, not some stupid disease." He made an excuse.
Friend. Enemy.
Flowers rose up Dazai's throat again. Will I ever get a fucking break?! He internally screamed. Tears started to fall down Dazai's face from the pain, as he hunched over Chuuya's shoulder and vomited up the blood coated Camellias.
He grabbed Chuuya's shoulders and quickly pushed Chuuya away while his guard was down. "Shithea-!" Dazai pushed his slightly parted lips against Chuuya's, and flower petals fell from Dazai's mouth onto his chest. He cupped Chuuya's cheeks and closed his eyes.
I don't care if this is meaningless.
I don't care if this makes him hate me more.
I don't care if this is unrequited.
I don't care if this kills me.
I just don't care about anything anymore.
Dazai fell on the ground, coughing and choking. He couldn't breathe. Bright stars clouded his vision, and a pain in his chest made him scream louder than he ever had before. His throat tore, and his vision faded to black. Chuuya shook Dazai's shoulder, he wasn't breathing. Red Camellias had forced their way out of Dazai's chest, blooming beautifully. Bright blood pooled at the ground.
Chuuya pressed his ear against Dazai's chest. No heartbeat. He was dead. Chuuya's eyes widened, "Hey. This is just a joke right? This is a joke, right? You're not dead. Stop sleeping. Stop it. Those are fake flowers, right? You're just gonna pop up like always, and say you were kidding like always. You're alive, right? Right? Wake up! Please!!" Chuuya cried, burying his face in Dazai's neck. "Please!! Please!! Wake up! I'm begging you!" Chuuya screamed.
He refused to accept reality.
"Please..
"Just wake up."