Chapter Text
13 years before the train
Seokjin's grandpa is impressive.
Standing next to him in the kitchen Jin is sure of that. His grandpa is tall and always dresses like a fancy gentleman in one of the old timey musicals he loves to watch.
"So, if you want to get the meat crispy, you have to make sure to heat the pan beforehand, and iron pans are the best for it." His grandpa explains.
Seokjin didn't always like the idea of cooking, it always seemed like something that took too much work. But on his grandma's last birthday, his grandpa made her favorite food and she looked so happy. Seokjin wants someday to make people happy like that, so he asked his grandpa to teach him some.
"Are you listening, boy?" His voice is booming and Seokjin looks up at him, blinking slowly before nodding. His grandfather nods back, and pats his head. "You are not just doing this because your parents told you to, right?"
"No!" He shakes his head. "I wanna learn it."
"Good."
His grandfather is not a man of obvious affection. Once Jin heard his father describing him as a man who didn't know how hugs work. And maybe it's silly, but he wants to teach his grandpa something as a way to pay back. So he hugs around his waist, and it's almost fun how stiff the man becomes under the touch. Seokjin didn't know it was possible for someone to not know how to hug, and it makes him giggle.
"Aish boy. What's this for?"
"Just felt like it, grandpa. I'm sorry." Jin tries to pull away, but his grandfather's hand on his shoulder keeps him steady in place.
"Stop apologizing, boy." He scolds and then moves his hand back to the top of Seokjin's head. "Just have fun, don't let the world make you rough."
7 years before the train
Mother looks so guilty as Yoongi stares at her, his cheek stinging from the slap. His eyes are starting to water, but he doesn’t want to cry. He doesn’t want to be weak in front of her, not when they were just arguing.
“I didn’t mean to…” She whispers and goes to hold his face between her hands.
She won’t say she’s sorry, he knows that. It’s not how his parents do this kind of thing. He wants to pull back, continue the fight and be spiteful, but he also feels so small and scared. He shouldn’t be, because he’s no longer a kid, he’s thirteen and he knows what he wants to do with his life. Even if they disagree. Still, it stings. He thought his mom would understand, he truly did. She was the one who taught him how to play the piano. And yet, when she found him playing, when he told her almost in a begging tone that this made him happy…
The look in her eyes back then was not full of the love he remembers from when they played four hand pieces together when he was younger.
She takes him to the kitchen, makes him sit down and gets some ice for his cheek, so it won’t get swollen. She keeps repeating that she didn’t mean to, that she has been so stressed, she goes on and on, and Yoongi barely hears what she’s saying.
“Music just makes me feel so nice mom…” He whispers, and she stops, taking a deep breath.
“Please, son, not right now. Why can’t you go back to being a good kid?”
And finally the anger flares back inside him, and he gets up before she can hand him the ice. “Why can’t you go back to loving me for who I am?”
It’s not a surprise that by the time his father gets home from work, Yoongi has locked himself in his room.
Five years before the train
Hoseok can’t stop grinning.
He stares wide eyed at the stage where Burn The Stage are performing. Their concerts are amazing, this venue might be a bit crowded but he’s so pumped.
When he asked his parents about the possibility of coming, after having gathered enough money doing odd jobs for relatives and people around their little town to pay for the concert tickets, he'd been expecting for his sister to be told to go with him. But his dad had been so excited about it, about sharing this with Hoseok. His friends had thought it was embarrassing for him to just be fine with having his dad as his chaperone, but frankly, Hoseok was too busy gleefully sharing everything he knows to get dad up to speed with the band.
Dad found some black pants and shirt, even put on eyeliner just like Hoseok to go there. It’s not something he’d ever thought he'd see, and his heart feels full to bursting.
All the while they both shout out the lyrics to the songs, jumping and dancing and laughing until they can't breathe anymore.
When the show ends, he feels like this the happiest moment of his life. His blood is still pumping so loud as they sit together in the train and he rests his head on his father’s shoulder.
“Thanks, dad.” He mumbles, closing his eyes.
He feels a warm hand on his shoulder and his father chuckles. “It’s no problem, son.”
And it’s silly, but Hoseok feels very loved right now. He imagines himself on a stage for a moment, performing like the artists he admires, and it makes him giggle. He’d love for his parents to see him like that.
He’d love to always keep sharing his happiness with them.
3 years before the train
Taehyung jitters in excitement.
His cheeks hurt from smiling non stop, looking out of the car window all the way to Seoul. They are all packed like tuna along with luggage, his sister is asleep next to him, and his mom and dad at the front have fallen into comfortable silence. They’ve been to Seoul a couple times, but this time they are staying for good.
It’s not quite what he expected to happen when he got accepted into an Arts High School, he expected to be sent off to live with his grandparents or something. And it was scary, but Taehyung had been determined to become an actor, so he would do it. But his parents took another path, sold the farm and now there’s an apartment in Seoul waiting for them. His sister had been ecstatic, jumping on Taehyung’s bed and chattering excitedly about how much fun they would be having.
He could fall asleep, but Taehyung wants to watch how the world changes, how his world changes.
There’s not much in the way of scenery, just a long stretch of fields and towns. He takes a deep breath, and rests his chin on his hands. His parents don’t talk, but his mom does eventually turn on the radio, and he tries to not pay much attention to the news. His sister shifts, falling from the side where she was resting towards him during a turn, and Taehyung pretends he doesn’t notice she’s actually awake.
She’s very tiny, but she’s slowly getting to the phase where being close and affectionate feels cringe and uncool. And still it’s times like this that make him so fond of her, of this six year old that has changed him so much.
He’s glad he won’t have to miss her growing up to follow his dreams, he’s glad that he’s got his family to support him. He sighs and crosses his arms, letting her settle better against his shoulder, and catches his mom turning around with her phone to take a picture of them.
Three years before the train
Namjoon doesn’t really care for birthdays.
It’s just another day of the year. But his sister had teased him about not doing anything, and his parents and Seokjin’s had organized a get together. Namjoon has a hunch it’s more about them than himself, but it’s a good reprieve from studying.
He sits on the couch, playing videogames with his sister and Seokjin. In the kitchen he can vaguely hear their parents discussing life, and if Seokjin should be allowed to stay over tonight even if it's a school day. He arches an eyebrow at his friend, who is too focused on trying to match Namjoon’s sister in the fighting game they're playing. It’s kind of cute how invested he gets on it, especially because that twelve year old spends all her free time getting better. Namjoon doesn’t think he can maintain the obligatory older brother win rate for much longer.
“Yo, pay attention, Namjoon-ah!” Seokjin whines, shoving at his shoulder. “I know I’m handsome, but you're also part of this match and she’s farming you for kills.”
His sister laughs and Namjoon just smirks. “Your fault for being this handsome, hyung.” He teases, and both of them make gagging noises at the comment.
Before he can tease them more though, he feels his mom patting his shoulder from behind. When he looks at her, she grins and shows him a gift box. "Here, kid."
Namjoon doesn’t know what it is at first, too big for a book, but as he rips the wrapping it becomes obvious that it's a microphone. The exact model he mentioned to Seokjin he wanted to buy at some point to record his music. He gapes like a fish up at his mom, who seems very satisfied with his reaction.
“Keep your grades as good as they are right now, and your father and I won’t stop you from doing your music. Happy birthday, honey.”
One year before the train
There’s a bouquet waiting for Jimin when he arrives from practice. Taehyung is the one to bring it over, with a huge smile on his face. Jimin blinks a couple times, surprised by it. It's so beautiful. He’s exhausted from practice, but this is a nice gesture.
“You didn’t have to, Tae.” He whispers, taking the flowers and kissing his boyfriend’s cheek.
Taehyung shakes his head. “They aren’t mine.”
Jimin can’t help but frown. “Then who?”
Grandma Kim seems to catch what they are talking about from where she's sitting on the ground peeling fruit. “Your dad sent them I believe, Jimin.”
His eyes go wide at that, and he stares in disbelief. His father likes sending flowers to celebrate Jimin’s achievements, but it’s been a while since he has done so. Their last call hadn’t exactly been the most pleasant. Of course Jimin had been respectful, but it was just frustrating having the same conversations again and again. That they were thankful to the Kims for taking him in, but that they didn’t think it was proper for him and Taehyung to be this out about their relationship. That he had to focus on his career and education. And Jimin understood why they thought like that, but he had kept his grades great, he had gotten a chance for an audition with a big company. He wants them to be proud of him, to be a good son, but he will not give up on Tae.
“Jimin-ah?” Taehyung sounds worried, but he forces himself to smile, looking at those flowers. “Are you happy with it?”
“Yeah.” He sounds so half-hearted when he says that.
He sits on the couch and takes the card that is attached to the bouquet. Congratulations on the audition and I love you , it says, and the knot on his throat eases. He needs things to work out, so someday he can show his parents that his decisions were smart and not just a boycrazy phase.
And the next bouquet he receives will only bring him joy.
10 minutes before the train
“Mom, it’s okay.” Jungkook insists, speaking softly into the cellphone.
“Just, promise me you'll think about it?” She sounds so soft and worried, and he can almost picture her frown. “We can ask them to send your stuff over.”
He sighs. Arguing with his mom feels pointless, because they both know Jungkook doesn’t plan on giving up on everything and going back home. There is a lot of fear from his mom, but he supposes that's unavoidable. When she let him go to Seoul, he knew it had broken her heart. He had promised he’d call every day, and he tried to, but with the months it had gotten harder. When news of the weird sickness started, Jungkook already knew that she’d want him back. He had managed to delay it until the competition was scheduled, but with it being in Busan…
“It’s just… Mama, isn’t that just admitting defeat? I doubt they’ll invite me back once this sickness scare is over.” He hated how wounded he sounded, his eyes darting around the train to make sure no one was listening.
“Baby… I know this means a lot to you, and me and your dad support your decisions. I’m sure they’ll invite you back, or maybe another company will be interested. You are so talented.”
He bites his lip to not spill all his insecurities at her. He knows his mom would try and assuage them in that callous way she has sometimes. And as much as he enjoys that, it’s not her life. She would always prefer him close by and safe, even if it meant he couldn’t follow his dreams. It’s kind of funny that she is the one trying to pull him back, when she was the one who always insisted for him to be independent and question things.
He hears her sighing on the other end. “Just give it some thought, we can talk again when you’re here. And good luck on the competition, your dad and I will be there cheering for you.”