Work Text:
“Fuck!” Lando called out, childishly throwing his controller down onto the sofa. He pouted, folding his arms together and leaning back. With one hand pointing to the TV, he began his rant. “You know Max, you can lose sometimes. It’s been four years and you’re still adamant on beating the shit out of me.”
“Yeah yeah, Brit boy.” Max laughed, placing his own controller down on the table with more caution than Lando had. “You complain, yet you never do anything about it. If you spent half as much time practising as you do whining about it, you might beat me.”
“You could let me have it sometimes.” Lando whined, crossing his arms together once more. He sunk further down the seat, tucking his chin into his neck. Max laughed at his childlike behaviour.
“What fun would that be?” Max countered, playfully hitting his arm. “Get up. Honestly, you act like more of a child than Amélie sometimes.”
“Don’t compare me to your three year old!” Lando gasped, pretending to be offended.
“Stop behaving like one then.” Max teased.
Lando snickered, pushing himself back up. He looked around.
“Speaking of Amélie.” Lando began, voice cheery once again. “Have you found a school for her yet?”
At those words, Max’ heart ached a little. The idea of Amélie going to school was strange. He couldn’t believe that she was almost four years old.
He shrugged, looking down to his fingers.
“I don’t know. Charles said he’s looking at a few places, one of them being where he went.” Max explained, chest heavy. “He knows the area, grew up there you know? He knows what would suit her better than me.”
“What, he’s doing it on his own?” Lando asked, throwing a pretzel into his mouth.
“I think.” Max shrugged again. “Pierre might be with him, I’m not sure. We don’t really talk all that much.”
From the corner of his eye, Max saw Lando still a little. His hand paused at his side, abandoning the previous task of grabbing another pretzel. He soon let out a sigh, and Max could almost feel him frown.
Soon enough a steady hand squeezed his arm. It was a comforting move, and Max was glad of it.
“I’m sorry, Max.”
“It’s fine.” He shook his head, looking up to Lando and sending a faux smile his way. He hoped the other man couldn’t tell he’d forced it. “It’s been four years, I’m- Well, I’m over it.”
It was a pitiful lie. He wasn’t over it, was convinced that he’d never be over it. He still thought about it, dreamed about it from time to time. The pain had healed a little, but the scars would always remain.
No. Max sputtered out, forcing a laugh. He felt hot, sweaty, and anxiety was swimming through him.
Good. Charles had breathed out, laughing a little under his breath in relief. Max felt his stomach ache in upset, his throat tightening. I- I’m glad we’re on the same page...
If Charles thought that, then they’d never been on the same page. Max loved Charles, but Charles didn’t love Max back. Max’s heart burned for Charles, but Charles had been relieved when Max had lied to him and said he felt nothing.
The memories still ached, just not as much as they used to. At the time he had felt sick whenever he remembered it, having to close his eyes to force him to forget. Now he simply had to shake the reminder from his head, keep his eyes open and push the thought away.
“Still, I’m sorry…” Lando spoke, looking to him with a look that told Max he didn’t believe him. But he let Max have this, let him convince himself that he was over it.
Maybe if he told himself that enough, he could gaslight himself into believing it. Only deep down would he know the truth, and Max rarely ever visited the memories he had buried down there. He’d done it before with memories from his adolescence, memories with his father, he was sure that in time he could do it again.
Max smiled at Lando, this time more genuine. He was thankful for Lando’s care, always had been. He enjoyed the other Man’s visits. His childish and sarcastic nature was both what he was used to and a breath of fresh air. It was genuinely what he needed sometimes, when his head was filled with anxieties and what was best for him was just a break from it all.
It was the summer break, July 2029. Things with taking care of Amelie seemed to go everywhere during the summer. They never really made a true plan up for who would have her and when, just usually took it in turns every few days or so. For those two weeks, however, Charles, his mother and two brothers had all taken Amélie with them on vacation to Costa Rica. Max missed her like hell, found himself not knowing what he’d do with himself for the time she was away. Lando had been coming round and playing video games with him to keep him company, something which Max was truly greatful for, but he still felt empty overall. As if he had a lack of purpose.
“Max…” Lando spoke up, sighing a little. Any sign of joking around had completely vanished. “I’m worried about you. We all are. Me, Carlos, Daniel…” He paused, before moving closer. “I know I came around as somewhat of a distraction, but you just look so… So… Worn out. I mean, have you been sleeping?”
Max hadn’t been sleeping. At night he’d toss and turn in bed until eventually he’d just get up and play on his computer instead.
“No, no I haven’t.” He admitted, looking down to his feet. There was no point lying about it, he’d looked in the mirror this morning and seen the dreadful eyebags.
“Look, Max. Whatever it is… We’re here for you. Right now, I’m here for you.” Lando spoke, sliding his hand down Max’ arm, squeezing his hand in encouragement.
Max’s throat went dry. So much was on his mind, so much he found himself practically drowning in it.
“I just…” He tried, voice quiet, hoarse. “It’s Amélie, and Charles, and just… Fuck. I mean I don’t know how I’m going to do it when she’s in school. If this past week and a half has been like hell, what will it be like when she’s away at school for hours at a time? Amélie is my everything. What will I do when I rarely see her? Without her, I just feel… Empty.”
By the end of his speech he felt like he was about to burst into tears. He could feel them pooling in the corner of his eyes, his face reddened and skin tingling. He could feel Lando’s worrying eyes burning into the side of his face.
“Shit, Max… I’m sorry.” He spoke, voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like. I- I mean Carlos and I, we have- we’ve thought about children, you know, but nothing has ever…” He took a pause, looking down, before looking back up at him seconds later. “I really wish I knew what you felt, Max, I do. I hate seeing you like this, all three of us do. If I knew the words to say, I really would say them…”
He sounded so broken, like he was kicking himself. Max’ heart twisted at the thought. This wasn’t Lando’s problem to deal with, nor was it Carlos or Daniel’s. It was Max’ problem, his upset, and he was passing it down to his friends.
“Lando it isn’t your issue to worry about.” Max reassured, meeting his friend’s eyes. They looked sad. “I, I will be fine. It’s stupid for me to worry about, really.”
“No it isn’t.” Lando instantly spoke, shaking his head in a thorough motion. He brought his other hand to Max’, holding the older man’s hand inbetween both of his own. “For three years you’ve been retired. You’ve barely done anything other than look after your daughter. Now you won’t be looking after her as much, and you feel as though your purpose is over…” He spoke, voice sad. Max looked away again, heart heavy at Lando’s words. He knew the younger man was right. Amélie had been his only reason for getting out of bed in the last few years. “I- I can’t find the exact words to make it better. I don’t know what you’re going through. But I suppose… I suppose, in a way, there’s someone who does.”
Max looked up to him again, eyes confused.
“What?” He whispered out, mouth open a little. He glanced away, letting out a small and anxious laugh. “Lando… If- If you say a shrink…” He trailed off with another anxious laugh, to which Lando shook his head.
“No- No, not a shrink.” He soon spoke up. Max turned back to look at him. “Although, yes that is also an option. But no, I didn’t mean that.” He shook his head. Max’s eyes grew curious, but he allowed him to explain. “I think the only person who would truly be able to bring you some comfort, who knows what you’re going through… Is Charles. Yes- I know he still races, has a job and something to occupy him, but I’m sure he will feel Amélie’s absense just as much as you. If you want somebody to confide in who has the right words...”
Lando’s words rung in his ears for a few moments. He felt his chest tighten at the idea and he turned to look out of the window. Lando let him, his grip on his hand still firm and comforting.
Charles and him spoke every so often. They spoke about Amélie, spoke about Charles’ racing sometimes and spoke about their friends. They spoke in two places, at one another’s door, or over text.
There was a time where they had spoken a lot, the ‘23 season in particular. They’d sit around in the garages or break rooms for hours before races talking about the car, about possible strategies, about their teammates. Max adored talking about racing with Charles, he always had done, even in their early competitive days. If there was anyone who was as enthusiastic about racing as Max was, it was Charles. The conversation topics ended up developing into more than just conversations about work. They had properly gotten to know each other, Max finding out more about Charles’ personal life than he had ever done before. His childhood, his father, all things Max had never previously known much about. In turn, Charles learnt more about Max’ own personal life. Max had told the Monegasque things he had never told anybody. He had never felt trust for anyone else like he had for Max.
Those deep and meaningful conversations had only fused Max’ desire for Charles, even leading Max to believe Charles had desires of his own. As well being just as eager to get to know him in a deeper way than normal, Charles would always run to him after a race, and if he didn’t, Max would always run to him. Charles had been the first person to congratulate him upon his third world championship win, and Max had been the first person to congratulate him the year after on his own. The looks Charles gave him, the way he studied him. The smiles Charles would send in his direction, the hand touches and blushes. The way Charles’ lips felt when he crashed them against Max’, the way their lips moved together when Max kissed back.
He felt himself tearing up as he watched the sun begin to set in the distance.
There had certainly been recent times when Max and Charles had spoken more than a few words to one another, but those times had been almost half a decade ago. They were wonderful, and Max held them close to his heart, but they seemed alien to him. Their relationship had changed, that was for certain, and as much as it hurt Max, he honestly didn’t think that he and Charles would have spoken at all since that weekend if Charles had not fallen pregnant.
The idea of speaking to Charles properly about something so serious and emotional was scary. It made him anxious, but excited at the same time. As well as that, he figured Lando was right, he would understand. Which also meant that he was too struggling with the idea, and this time, Max could do something to help him himself. He really wanted to, to him Charles deserved the world.
Max didn’t blame Charles for how things had turned out between them. Max didn’t know too much about it, but he had known that Charles had relationships in his past where he had struggled deeply. When his father passed away, he had been broken. Some of his partners had taken advantage of that fact, taken advantage of him.
Perhaps Max had been reading it all wrong, getting the wrong signals. He hadn’t thought they’d initially been too drunk, only two cocktails in when they had first made a move on eachother, but maybe the bartender had put more alcohol in than he’d originally thought. Maybe it was a drunken mistake, after all.
If he was, in fact, sending Max the signals that he had initially thought, then he still didn’t blame him. He hadn’t known too much about Charles’ last relationship, all he’d known is that the other man had been a handful. From the looks of it, Charles’ father had passed away and the man had swooped in a few months later in order to manipulate and control a vulnerable and up and coming formula one driver. Charles had broken the relationship off in ‘20 when things had hit a breaking point, and though he had grown a little confident since, the damage still existed. He had spent almost three years with the man.
There was a period of time where Charles wouldn’t take his race suit off. They’d be in the boiling heat of the Middle East, and Charles would arrive to the track in his long sleeved suit rather than a freeing T-Shirt. Max, at the time, tried not to read too much into it, some people preferred their race suit, but he had known Charles, known that he loved his short sleeved tops, his knee just above the knee length shorts. Max had asked him if he was okay, each time he said yes. Each time his smile seemed false, and each time Max struggled to believe him. When one weekend Charles didn’t arrive to the track at all, Max thought it had gone far enough. He discussed the matter with Pierre, and the two of them had called around to Charles’ apartment.
Max had never forgotten the state they had found him in, crying on the ground of his bedroom, a black eye and busted lip. Pierre pulled him close, while Max cleaned the broken glass from the smashed mirror and broken vase up. He wished it was him comforting Charles, holding him tight and telling him it would be okay. It broke him to see Charles in that state.
Charles struggled to trust for a while after, struggled to allow anybody else in, not himself, barely even Pierre. When their paths crossed in ‘24, Charles had only just began dating again, relationships that could barely even be considered just that. They rarely lasted more than two weeks, didn’t even get to the point of the press finding out.
Max didn’t blame Charles for refusing him, he’d truly been through the dirt and back. Charles had told Max that it meant nothing, and Max had to believe that. As he said previously, he would bury his feelings away. Maybe if he did that, he could focus on building a friendship with Charles. Rebuilding a friendship with him.
“You think he will want to talk to me?” Max asked, still having his doubts.
Lando smiled.
“I do.” He nodded. “He doesn’t hate you. It’s just been… Well, tricky.”
Max looked down, hopelessly laughing a little.
“Perhaps tricky is an understatement.”
“Yeah.” Lando agreed, also laughing a little. He moved his hand up and rubbed Max’ shoulder. “Just start there, when he gets back. You know, Carlos and I could perhaps look after Amélie for a few hours, leave you two alone?”
“Really?” He inquired, a little shocked.
“Of course.” He nodded, enthusiastically. “And if you don’t trust us, well, we can ask Daniel to come around too.” He teased.
“Oh, God.” Max laughed. “I hope you don’t intend on having her calm down at any point if Daniel is with you. He’s a menace when it comes to giving her unnecessary amounts of sugar. Candy, chocolate, you name it- if it has sugar in he will give it to her. He must be supervised at all times.” He teased back, cheering up a little. They both grinned. “But no- No, jokes aside, I trust you guys.”
“Phew.” Lando laughed. “Because it sounds like Daniel is harder work than Amélie.”
Max threw his head back and laughed, the weight on his chest becoming lighter.
“That much is true.” He confirmed, nodding. A content smile formed on his lips. “Thank you, Lando.”
He truly was thankful. For the first time in days he felt happy, calm. His mind was no longer only plagued with worries and fears. And for the first time in years, he felt somewhat relaxed about the situation between him and Charles. Perhaps even excited about it. There was a chance for a friendship to branch out, here. That was something Max coudn’t help but smile about.
“I’m just glad to see you smiling again. Like, properly smiling.” Lando pointed out, voice genuine. Max nodded, looking at him with thankful eyes. “What do you say a few more rounds, then we order some pizza in?”
“Pizza?”
“Or whatever you want.”
Max laughed. “Pizza sounds great.” He smiled, to which Lando did the same.
-*-
Max waited outside of Charles’ door with a certain feeling of excitement that he hadn’t felt in years. There was still anxiety tied into the wait, evident in the way he toyed with his hands in anticipation, but majoritively Max felt rather calm, somewhat ready for what was to come. Not only was he going to get to see his little girl again, but he got to properly speak to Charles again.
The door swung open after a few seconds, revealing a tanned looking Charles and Amélie, the man holding tight onto the little girl’s hand. Her other hand clutched onto her bunny, her backpack this time swung over Charles’ shoulder.
“Papa!” She soon called, looking up to Charles for confirmation to let go of his hand. He nodded to her with a smile, to which she almost instantly dropped his hand and rushed over to her other father.
Max knelt to the ground just in time to catch her in his arms, burrowing his head in her shoulder while she burrowed her own in his neck.
“Oh, Amélie!” He called out, a wide smile on his face as he held her close. “Papa has missed you...”
“I missed you too, Papa!” She exclaimed, to which he chuckled and pulled back. He combed the stray pieces of hair that had fallen into her eye behind her ear and kissed her forhead.
From the corner of his eye he saw Charles lock the door before taking a small step forward. He looked up, eyes locking with the other man. He wore a smile on his face, smaller than Max’ but it was still there nevertheless.
Max hauled Amélie into his arms, holding her against his hip as he rose to his feet. He looked back over to Charles, sending a smile his way.
“Hello.” Max spoke, voice a little nervous but somewhat overpowered by excitement. He couldn’t help but grin.
“Hi.” Charles soon spoke back. He seemed just the same, both nervous and excited at the same time. It only made Max smile wider.
“Papa, are you coming with us?” Amelie asked from his side, her arms wrapped tightly around his front. He turned to face her, his heart warming at the idea.
“Yes.” He nodded.
“Really?!” She called out, leaning back. Her face broke out in a grin, her body tensing in excitement.
“Yes, Amy.” Charles spoke up, combing a hand through her hair.
She squealed in excitement, to which Max couldn’t help but laugh. He felt the same, though with a small part of anxiety attached. Amélie looked completely thrilled, however, squeezing onto Max even tighter.
“Come on.” Max intervened before he cracked and also began squealing. “Let’s not keep Lando and Carlos waiting.”
He placed Amélie on the ground, taking her hand. Charles took her other, and Max looked up to him. Their eyes met, and they simply stared at eachother for a moment. A small smile once again appeared on both of their lips, and for the first time in days, Max felt completely relieved of any sort of anxiety.
-*-
Max sat in the passenger seat of Charles’ car, attempting to look out of the window and over to the door of Lando and Carlos’ house. A tree blocked the majority of his view, only being able to see the man’s shoes.
He pushed his seat back a little, leaning his head back. Charles came into view, Amelie in his arms as he spoke to whichever one of the pair was at the door. He pointed into the doorway, saying something to the little girl that Max couldn’t make out from this far away.
He passed her over to either Lando or Carlos, placing a gentle kiss on her head as she left his arms. Max smiled, unable to stop himself.
When Charles turned to walk back to the car, placing his sunglasses over his eyes. Max whipped his head back to the front, quickly pushing his chair forward again and pretending to mess around with his nails.
The driver’s door opened, and he fought himself to not look over to it.
Charles sighed quietly as he climbed inside, a noise which was so quiet it could have been missed so easily. But Max heard every breath he made. The door soon closed beside him, and Max watched from the corner of his eyes as Charles’ hands wrapped around his seatbelt, clicking it into its holder. The same hand moved over to the handbreak, and Max looked up and out of the front window.
“How was she?” Max asked. Amélie had met Lando and Carlos before, many times in fact, but never stayed with them on her own. Daniel had looked after her a few times, but he was the only one out of their friends to do so.
“Oh she was fine.” He spoke, pulling out into the empty road. “A little confused at first, but Carlos persuaded her with some cartoons and she soon didn’t care.”
Max laughed at that, tilting his head back a little.
“Yeah, that makes sense.” He smiled, looking to the roof. “We’re lucky she’s not one of those kids who’d cry when being away from her parents.”
We. Parents.
It felt a little surreal to be inside a car with Charles, talking about their daughter. More than a little, in fact, it felt bizarre.
“I know.” Charles laughed along, pulling onto the main road. A smile settled on his face, and he changed gear. “I was one of those kids, you know?” He spoke, a hint of fondness in his tone.
“You were?” Max asked, surprised. He turned to face Charles for the first time the whole car ride.
The Monegasque nodded, a small smile on his lips. His green eyes were blocked by the black sunglasses.
“Yeah.” He clarified. “Apparently when I was a baby I’d cry if I was held by anyone who wasn’t either my mama, father or Lorenzo. Until I was three that was the case, apparently.”
“Aw.” Max cooed, unable to help himself. He then looked down to his lap. “Well, you were not the only one.” He laughed.
“You too?” Charles exclaimed in shock.
“Oh yes, yes I would not leave my mothers’s side when I was younger.”
In some of Max’ darkest days of his teen years, he’d often wished that he never did. That he had remained with her and Victoria, far away from his father.
“Well that we have in common.” Charles stated, his voice cheery.
Max laughed happily, before turning his head away from Charles and smiling to himself. He couldn’t believe this was happening, it felt so unreal. Conversations like this with Charles only happened in his dreams.
The car fell silent for a short few moments, until Max decided to close the silence.
“So uh…” He turned back to look at him. “How was Costa Rica? Did Amélie- did she enjoy it?”
Asking if Charles enjoyed it felt too intimate, somehow. Max didn’t know why, he supposed maybe he was overthinking things.
“Oh, yes.” He spoke with wonder, a grin appearing on his lips. “Yes, we spent a lot of our time on the yacht, and she in turn spent most of the time toddling around after Arthur and Lorenzo. They were playing around with her, you know, pretending she pushed them into the pool after she tapped them. For most of the time she probably wasn’t even aware I was there.”
Max chuckled.
“Oh goodness.” He smiled. He’d like to have seen that, he knew how fond Amélie was of her Uncles. “Atleast you got a bit of a break.”
“Yeah.” He agreed, turning a corner. He took a pause, hands soon gripping the steering wheel. “She uh- she kept asking about you. Were you where… Towards the end of the two weeks I think she just wanted to get back and see you.”
Max seriously thought his heart had melted in that moment, his chest feeling warm and tight all of a sudden. Amélie missed him just as he missed her. It wasn’t an absurd thing to assume, he was her father after all, but just to know it for certain… It made him feel content.
“I missed her too, Charles.” He spoke, voice disheartened all of a sudden. He casted his eyes over to the window.”
The car fell silent for a few seconds, the only sound being that of the fake engine of the electric car.
“I- I’m sorry…” Charles eventually spoke, voice almost as quiet as a whisper. Max turned to look at him, a little confused.
“Sorry?” He asked. “Why?”
“I didn’t… Well, I should have called you with her, or something…” He sounded guilty, Max bit his lip.
“You were on vacation, I didn’t expect you to do that.” Max reassured. He looked down to his lap, taking a quiet deep breath. “It… It was your time with her, not mine.” The words were hard to speak, but they were true.
“Yeah…” Charles nodded, falling quiet.
He turned another corner, and they were nearing his house. Max sat up straight, clearing his throat.
“Although, if you have any photos, I would- I’d like to see them.” Max smiled, softly.
“Oh, do I?” Charles teased, confidence coming back a little. He laughed. “Max, I mean it when I say the whole weekend was practically a photoshoot.”
Max couldn’t help but also laugh at that. He imagined Charles taking a picture of every little thing their daughter did, he often did the same.
“And mama… I do not know how she had the storage!” At that, Max once again tilted his head back in laughter.
“You avoided the press quite well.” Max pointed out.
“Yeah, well, we were in the middle of the water for most of it. But you know, there were a few taken in the airport...”
“Oh, yeah.” Max knew, he’d seen them as soon as they’d been released. Charles holding Amélie against his hip with one hand, pulling his case with the other. His mother pushed Amelie’s pram, her bag tucked inside, while Lorenzo and Arthur trailed behind trying to shield them as best as they could.
The car turned again, and Max could see Charles’ house in the distance.
“I hope you don’t mind if we just stay here for a little while...” Charles spoke.
“No, no that’s fine.” Max shook his head. He didn’t care where he was. He was talking to Charles properly for the first time in years, why would he care where that happened?
He pulled into the driveway, and Max had to hold his breath. They undid their seatbelts and climbed out, Charles clicking the lock on his key before leading the way over to his door. He fumbled a little as he turned the key, but eventually he managed to open it, stepping inside and holding the door for Max.
Max hadn’t been inside Charles’ house for years, not properly anyway. He figured the last time was probably when he and Daniel picked Amélie up for the first time.
The living room looked mostly the same, a few more house plants added and a bigger television. Toys were scattered around the floor, Charles quickly bending down to pick them up, grunting as he rushed around the room. Max tried not to chuckle fondly at the sight.
“Sorry… This morning was a little hectic. I didn’t have time to clear up…” He opened the lid to her pink toy box, dropping the stray pieces he held in his hands inside.
“Don’t worry about it, my living room is pretty much the same, only with an added bonus of cat toys.” He joked, to which Charles snickered.
“That’s one set of toys I don’t have.” He joked back, closing the lid and sighing in relief. He turned to face Max. “Sit down, if you like. I- I mean, sit anywhere. I don’t mind.”
Max would have laughed at Charles’ nervousness, but he felt exactly the same. Laughing at him would only make him a hypocrite.
He nodded, taking a seat on the black sofa at the back of the room. He folded his hands together, looking around. There was a small door beside him, which Max supposed led to the kitchen.
“Do you, uh- do you want a drink?” He asked.
“Sure.”
“Water?”
“I like water, yeah.” He instantly cursed himself, closing his eyes in embarrassment as Charles left the room with a simple nod. Who the fuck didn’t like water?
He shook his head and continued to look around, the sound of the tap spraying water in the distance echoing in his ears. His eyes landed on a photo frame on the table beside him. He picked it up, smiling wide as he studied it. It was a picture of Charles and Amélie, taken in a studio. She looked young, probably about a year old, and was sat in his lap looking at the camera in surprise. Charles was also looking into the camera, a wide smile plastered on his face.
Max couldn’t help but smile just as wide at the sight of it. It looked so sweet, so wholesome that he honestly thought his heart might begin to beat out of his chest.
He heard footsteps heading back towards the room,
and quickly placed the photo frame back down. He turned, rubbed his hands over his blue skinny jeans and waited inconspicuously.
“Here you go.” Charles spoke, passing him the glass.
“Thank you.” Max smiled, taking it from him carefully. He took a sip as the Monegasque sat beside him.
They spent a while simply looking through Charles’ camera roll. He had a folder for Amélie, 8,000 photos inside from the last four years. Max couldn’t laugh, he probably had around the same amount himself.
There were so many of Amélie both with Charles and with his family. Charles caught off guard holding her, Charles beside her in the pool teaching her how to swim with armbands on. There were many cute ones of her on her own, eating, playing with toys or looking at her surroundings. Max could gloat about her for days, she really was the cutest child he had ever seen.
There were many with Amélie and his mother, all of them warming Max’ heart. His own mother had met her a few times, but probably only a handful. His father, however… Even if he asked to see her Max wouldn’t let him. It had been four years since he uttered a word to the man, the last being as he announced his retirement.
You’re too young, Max.
You’ll regret it, Max.
Max had been done with racing. He had beaten more records than he could count, won three world championships and had been named one of the fastest men in motorsports. He didn’t need more, didn’t want more.
It was nice to see Amélie spending time with at least one of her grandparents.
“You both looked to have had a really good time.” Max smiled, taking a sip of his water as Charles put his phone on charge beside the sofa. “I am glad.”
“Thank you, Max.” He replied, voice cheerful.
He sat up once again, and Max tried to think of what to say. Rather how to bring up what he had wanted to talk about all along. The reason he was here.
“So-”
“I-” They spoke over one another, Charles laughing at the occurance. His dimples showed, eyes scrunching up in delight. Max couldn’t help but smile himself. “You go on.” The Monegasque urged, kindly.
“I uh-” Max began, pausing taking a deep breath that he tried to disguise. He let out a nervous laugh, trying his best to make it seem as confident as he could. “Have you found a school for Amélie?” His faux nonchalance was anything but foolproof.
“I, well… I haven’t really… Looked yet.” He looked down to the ground, before reaching a hand to the back of his neck and scratching at it nervously. “I’m sorry…” He quickly turned to look back to Max, a little panicked. “I-It’s not like I don’t care, honestly it isn’t, Max… I just…”
He fell silent, clearly trying to think what to say.
“Hey, Charles…” Max spoke up, voice reassuring. The panic in his eyes settled a little, and Max spoke up again. He felt the urge to take his hand, hold it to comfort him, but he knew that wasn’t an option. “I know. I know it’s not that you don’t care…”
Charles nodded, lowering his eyes.
“It’s just like… It’s like once I look, it makes it real, you know?” His eyes flickered back up to meet Max’, and his heart ached. Of course he knew, he hadn’t been able to think of anything else in weeks.
“I know.” He nodded gently, biting his lip. “She’s growing up.” He stated with a dry laugh. Charles nodded, a sad smile appearing on his face.
“In a few short weeks she will be four” Charles stated, voice shocked but proud at the same time. “Do you remember when I called you and told you I had gone into labour?” He laughed a little.
Of course Max remembered. He’d never be able to forget it. A genuine smile appeared on his lips, he couldn’t help the action.
“Yes!” He remencied. “I had been putting the groceries away. When I got your phone call I instantly abandoned the rest and rushed out of the door.”
Charles laughed at the memories, his laughter fading away into a comfortable smile.
“I never actually said it at the time, but thank you…” Charles spoke, voice grateful. “I always felt bad for calling you to help take me to the hospital. I couldn’t get a hold of Pierre and just… I don’t know, I suppose in that moment I knew that you’d be there for me.”
Max didn’t know how he held it together after hearing that. There wasn’t a single universe where Max would have refused him, and to know Charles knew that made his heart honestly swell in his chest.
“You don’t have to thank me. God, Charles, you don’t. I- I was happy to do it. I wanted to help you.”
Charles smiled up at him.
“It’s… It’s crazy to think that in a few weeks that will have been four years ago…” The Monegasque spoke. Max felt his heart twist at the idea. “She was so small.”
“Oh, she was! If only she was still, it’s getting hard to hold her against my side now.” Max pointed out, teasing.
Charles laughed. “So it is not just me who’s starting to struggle.” He pointed out.
“No.” Max laughed along.
Max wished Charles knew that it was never just him. He was never alone in this. All he had to do was ask Max, and Max would give him the answer.
“Oh, God…” Charles spoke, smiling at the ceiling. The room fell silent for a few moments, a comfortable silence taking over. Eventually, Charles found more words. “Thank you for this, Max. It feels really good to talk about it. Especially to someone who understands just as much as I do.”
Max smiled.
“You don’t have to thank me.” He met his eyes. This was everything to him. “When-When Lando suggested it… I felt a little nervous, I suppose. I don’t know…”
He knew exactly how he’d felt. So anxious he might be sick yet at the same time so excited the could also be sick. He couldn’t tell Charles that, he’d already told him more than he’d expected to.
“So did I.” Charles agreed, voice soft. He sounded almost shy. “It… It’s been a while since we spoke. I supposed I missed it.”
Max nodded, attempting to not break out in a smile at Charles’ words. He missed it. He missed talking to Max as well.
“It’s nice… Really nice.” Charles finished off, meeting Max’ eyes again.
“I agree.” Was all he could manage to say.
To Max, this really was everything to him. The moon and the sun, the ocean and the air. With Charles, he could function properly.
“You know… Maybe we could look around those schools together?” He eventually suggested, instantly scared that it had been too grand of a suggestion. He tried not to hold his breath when waiting for the answer.
Charles nodded, eyes seeming to light up at the idea. Max took pride in knowing he was the reason for Charles’ excitement in that moment.
“That would be nice.” He agreed, voice eager.
They lounged around for a while longer, Charles updating Max on the way his year had been going before the break. He explained what the plan for the team was for the rest of the year, the previous issues with the car and how they were being fixed. Max had listened to every word, inputting when he’d felt it right.
He really could listen to Charles speak for hours.