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Levi: (He narrates.) This is the story of how I died. It’s extremely boring. At least it isn't my story. This is the story of a boy named Erwin. And it starts with the sun. Now, once upon a time, a single drop of sunlight fell from the heavens. It was said to be a tear from the goddess, Ymir. And from this teardrop of sun, grew a magic, golden, flower. It had the ability to change those who ate it into Titans.
(Hange enters the scene.)
Levi: Oh, you see Four-eyes, over there? You might want to remember her. She's kind of important.
(Hange leaves the scene.)
Levi: Well, centuries pass and a hop skip and a boat ride away grew a kingdom. The kingdom was ruled by three different factions, the Military Police, Scouting Legion, and the Garrison Corps. And the Scouting Legion, well, they needed a new leader, because the last one had been killed. They were running out of time. And that's when people usually start to look for a miracle. Or in this case, a stupid little boy named Erwin. This little boy had the potential to be the next Scouting Legion commander.
(Hange enters the scene.)
Levi: Ahhh, I told you she'd be important. You see, Four-eyes had an obsession with the Titan Flower. She wanted it to, I dunno, experiment? Anyway, that’s why she happened upon Erwin, and kidnapped him. She thought that the kingdom would trade her the Titan Flower for Erwin’s life, so they could train him to be the Scouting Legion commander. Well, that mentality is a load of crap, because they just went ahead and trained me to be commander instead and forgot all about Erwin. But Four-eyes continued her containment of Erwin, far away in a hidden tower, hoping that one day someone would come find him and give her the magical flower.
(Cut scene to the hidden tower.)
Erwin: (singing, playing with toy horses and soldiers) ...soldiers, rage! My soldiers, scream! My soldiers, fight!
Levi: (He narrates.) Hange had found her leverage. But no one wanted Erwin, so it was kinda an idiot move to keep him around.
Erwin: Why can't I go outside?
Hange: The outside world is a dangerous place. Filled with horrible, selfish people, who want to steal you. You must stay here, where you're safe. Do you understand, Erwin?
Erwin: Yes, Hange.
Levi: {narrated} But the walls of that tower could not hide everything. Each year, the Military Police released thousands of signal flares into the sky. These were to commemorate all the fallen soldiers, and had absolutely nothing to do with Erwin.
[Some Years Later]
Erwin: Hah! Hmm, well I guess Eren's not hiding out here. (pause.) Gotcha! That's twenty two for me. How about twenty three, out of forty five? [Eren shakes his head no]
Levi (He narrates): I should probably mention the brat, Eren. He’s a bit of a weirdo who just showed up in Erwin’s tower one day. Hange doesn’t know he’s there, but him and Erwin cure each other’s boredom. Eren would’ve left a long time ago but he can’t figure out a way out of the tower.
Erwin: Okay, well, what do you want to do?
[Eren points out the window, indicating that he wants to go outside]
Erwin: Yeah, I don't think so. I like it in here and so do you.
[Eren pouts]
Erwin: Oh, come on Eren, it's not so bad in there.
Erwin: {Singing When Will My Life Begin?} 7a.m. the usual morning lineup. Start on the chores and sweep 'til the floors all clean. Polish and wax, do laundry and mop and shine up.
(Scene of Erwin folding his outfit, and polishing his bolo tie.)
Sweep again, and by then it's like 7:15. And so I'll read a book, or maybe two or three. I'll add a few new soldiers to my cavalry.
(Scene of Erwin setting up toy horses.)
I'll play guitar, and box, and cook and basically just wonder when will my life begin. Then after lunch, it's screaming, and rage and fighting. Canon practice, a bit of swordship, and chess. Archery, heavy lifting, candle making. Then I'll stretch, maybe sketch.
(Scene of Erwin plotting soldier formations.)
Take a climb, make a mess! And I'll re-read the books, if I have time to spare. I'll build some ODM, I'm sure there's gas somewhere. And then I'll brush, and brush, and brush, and brush my hair.
(Scene of him combing his eyebrows)
Stuck in the same place I've always been. And I'll keep wondering, and wondering, and wondering, wondering, when will my life begin? Tomorrow night, the flares will appear. Just like they do on this day, every year. What is it like out there, where they smoke? Now that I'm older. Hange might just let me go.
{End of singing}
[Cut scene to the castle]
Levi: [Standing on top of the castle] Wow! I could get used to a job like this.
Sawney: Ackermann, come on.
Levi: Hold on. Yep, I'm used to it. Guys, I want to clean a castle.
Sawney: We do this job, you can buy and clean your own castle.
[Inside the castle]
Guard: (Sneezes)
Levi: Oh, hay fever?
Guard: Yeah. Huh? Wait, wait. Hey, wait!
{Levi snatches an armful of brooms, accidentally pulling along a key with him.}
Levi: Can't you picture me cleaning a castle of my own? I mean, I certainly can. Oh, the things we've seen and it's only eight in the morning. Gentlemen, this is a very big day.
[Back at the tower]
Erwin: This is it. This is a very big day, Eren. I'm finally going to do it. I'm going to ask her.
Hange: Erwin! Get down here!
Erwin {To Eren}: It's time. I know, I know. Come on, don't let her see you.
Hange: Erwin, I'm not getting any smarter down here.
Erwin: Coming, Hange.
(Erwin pulls Hange up with ODM gear)
Erwin: Hi, welcome home, Hange.
Hange: Erwin, how you manage to do that every single day without fail, it looks absolutely exhausting~
Erwin: Oh, it's nothing.
Hange: Then I don't know why you take so long! Oh, I'm just teasing.
Erwin: All right...so, Hange. As you know tomorrow is a very big day.
Hange: Erwin, look in that mirror. You know what I see? I see a strong, confident, smart legion commander. Oh, look, you're here too! I'm just teasing, don't take everything so seriously!
Erwin: Okay... so, Hange, as I was saying, tomorrow is-
Hange: Erwin, I’m feeling a little exhausted from all my projects. Would you be quiet for like ten minutes?
Erwin: Well, I just wanted to ask really quickly, Hange, since the flares are tomorrow night...
Hange: Erwin please, stop with the mumbling. You know how I feel about the mumbling. Blah, blah, blah,...blah. It's very annoying.
Erwin: Oh, I want to see the flares.
Hange: What?
Erwin: Oh... Well I was hoping you would take me to see the flares.
Hange: Oh, the smoke.
Erwin: Well, not just the smoke, but the colorful flares. They only happen once every year tomorrow night. And I can't help but feel that they're... that they’re important. I need to see them, Hange. And not just from my window. In person. I have to know what they are.
Hange: You want to go outside? Oh, why Erwin.
Hange: (Singing Hange Knows Best) Look at you, as fragile as a flower. Still a little sapling, just a sprout. You know why we stay up in this tower.
Erwin: I know, but...
Hange: That's right, to keep you safe, and sound, boy. Guess I always knew this day was coming. Know that soon you'd want to leave the nest. Soon, but not yet.
Erwin: But…
Hange: Shhh.. Trust me pet, Hange~ knows best. Hange knows best. Listen to your mentor. It's a scary world out there. Hange knows best. One way or another. Something will go wrong, I swear. Ruffians, thugs, poison ivy, quicksand. Cannibals, and snakes, the plague! Also large men, Titans with huge teeth. And stop, no more, you'll just upset me. Hange's right here. Hange will protect you. Erwin, here's what I suggest. Skip the showy, stay with Zoe. Zoe~! knows best. Hange knows best. Take it from your guardian. On your own, you won't survive. Overconfident, ignorant, careless, Please, they'll eat you up, alive. Gullible, naive, positively foolish. Dense and a bit, well, hmm vague. Plus I believe, getting kinda fiendish. I'm just saying, 'Cause I want you. Hange understands, Hange’s here to help you. All I have is one request.
(singing ends)
Hange: Erwin?
Erwin: Yes?
Hange: Don't ever ask to leave this tower, again.
Erwin: Yes, Hange.
Hange: Ahh, that’s a good boy. Now don’t cause any trouble! (singing) Don't forget it, you'll regret it~ Hange, knows best!
Erwin: I'll be here.
[In the forest]
Levi: No, no no. This is bad, this is very, very bad, This is really bad. They just can't get my forehead right.
Sawney: Who cares.
Levi: Well it's easy for you to say. You guys look amazing.
(Getting chased)
Levi: All right, okay. Give me a boost, and I'll pull you up.
Sawney: Give us the key first.
Levi: Wha..? Oh this thing. I just... I can't believe, that after all we've been together, you don't trust me. Ouch.
Sawney: Now help us up, germaphobe.
Levi: Sorry, my hands are full. {Levi clunks around the pile of brooms}
Sawney: What? ACKERMANN!
Military Police: Retrieve that key with any force.
(Chasing him)
Military Police: We got him now, Jean.
[They give chase, and Jean corners Levi. Levi tries to bribe Jean to help him with a broom. Jean will have none of it]
Levi: Go! Heyah! Fetch! Come on, horse-face, forward.
Jean: (Sniffing) (Horse whinnies in distance)
(Levi spots tower and climbs up it to hide)
[Inside the tower]
Levi: Alone at last.
(He gets knocked out)
Erwin: (to himself) Okay, okay, I got a person in my closet. I got a person in my closet. I got a person in my closet! To weak to handle myself out there, huh Hange? Well, tell that to my feather duster here.
Hange: (from outside) Erwin! Help me up there with the ODM.
Erwin: One moment, Hange.
Hange: I have a big surprise.
Erwin: Uh, I do too.
Hange: Oh, I bet my surprise is bigger.
Erwin: I seriously doubt it!
Hange: I found a new species of mushroom! They have this completely new relationship with this specific breed of squirrel and I’m going to spend HOURS studying them.
Erwin: Well Hange, there's something I want to tell you.
Hange: Oh Erwin, you know I hate leaving you after a fight. Especially when I've done absolutely nothing wrong.
Erwin: Okay, I've been thinking a lot about what you said, earlier.
Hange: I hope you're not still talking about the smoke.
Erwin: Flares, and, yes, I'm leading up to that.
Hange: Because I really thought we dropped the issue.
Erwin: No Hange, I'm just saying, you think I'm not strong enough to handle myself out there.
Hange: Oh Erwin, I know you're not strong enough to handle yourself out there.
Erwin: But if you just...
Hange: Erwin, we're done talking about this.
Erwin: Trust me, I know...
Hange: Erwin.
Erwin: ...know what I'm
Hange: Erwin---.
Erwin: Oh, come on.
Hange: Enough with the flares, Erwin! You are not leaving this tower, ever! Oh, great. Now I'm the bad guy.
Erwin: All I was gonna say, Hange, is that... I know what I want instead of seeing the flares, now.
Hange: And what is that?
Erwin: New soldiers and horses. The hand crafted ones you once brought me.
Hange: Well that is a very long trip, Erwin. Almost three day's time.
Erwin: I just thought it was a better idea than the... smoke.
Hange : You sure you'll be all right, on your own?
Erwin: I know I'm safe, as long as I'm here.
Hange: I'll be back in three days time.
[Levi is taken out of the closet]
Erwin: Okay.
Levi: AHH! Wha..? What’s up with your eyebrows?
Erwin: Insulting...insulting is pointless. I know why you're here. And I'm not afraid of you.
Levi: What?
Erwin: Who are you, and how did you find me?
Levi: Ah hah.
Erwin: Who are you, and how did you find me?
Levi: (Clears throat) I know not who you are. Nor how I came to find you. But may I just say. Hi! How you doing? The names Levi Ackermann. How's your day goin', huh?
Erwin: Who else knows my location, Levi Ackermann?
Levi: All right, Eyebrows.
Erwin: Erwin.
Levi: Eyebrows, here's the thing. I was in a situation, Gallivanting through the forest. I came across your tower and... Ho, ho no, where are my brooms?
Erwin: I hid them, somewhere you'll never find them.
Levi: It's in that closest, isn't it.
(He's knocked out again, and wakes up)
Levi: Ahh, would you stop that.
Erwin: Now it's hidden where you'll never find it. So, what do you want, with me?
Levi: What?
Erwin: Trade me?
Levi: No! Listen, the only thing I want to do with you is getting out of your presence.
Erwin: Wait, you don't want to steal me?
Levi: Why on earth would I want to steal you? Look, I was being chased, I saw a tower, I climbed it, end of story.
Erwin: You're, telling the truth?
Levi: Yes!
Erwin: (speaking with Eren) Hmm. I know, but he's someone that can take me. I think he's telling the truth. Nothing I think, but what choice do I have? (Turning to Levi) Uh, okay Levi Ackermann, I'm prepared to offer you a deal.
Levi: Deal?
Erwin: Look this way. Do you know what these are?
Levi: You mean the flares the Scouting Legion uses?
Erwin: Flares... I knew it wasn’t just smoke. Well, tomorrow evening they will fill the sky, with these flares. You will act as my guide, take me to these flares, and return me home safely. Then, and only then, will I return your brooms to you. That is my deal.
Levi: Yeah, no can do. Unfortunately, the Scouting Legion and I are not exactly, simpatico, at the moment. So I won't be taking you anywhere.
Erwin: Something brought you here, Levi Ackermann. Call it what you will, fate, destiny.
Levi: A horse-face.
Erwin: So I have made the decision to trust you.
Levi: A horrible decision, really.
Erwin: But trust me, when I tell you this. You can tear this tower apart, brick by brick. but without my help, you will never find your precious brooms.
Levi: (Clears throat) Let me just get this straight. I take you to see the flares. Bring you back home, and you'll give me back my brooms?
Erwin: I promise. And when I promise something, I never ever break that promise. Ever!
Levi: All right, listen, I didn't want to have to want to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the 'glower'. {Levi gives Erwin a death glare} This is kind of an off day for me. This doesn't normally happen. {Levi drops his glare} Fine, I'll take you to see the flares.
Erwin: Really! Ooops.
Levi: You broke my 'glower'.
(Outside the tower)
Levi: You coming, Eyebrows?
Erwin: (Singing When Will My Life Begin Reprise) Look at the world so close, and I'm halfway to it. Look at it all, so big do I even dare? Look at me, there at last, I just have to do it. Should I? No. Here I go. Just smell the grass, the dirt. Just like I dreamed they'd be. Just feel that summer breeze, the way it's calling me. For like the first time ever, I'm completely free. I could go screaming, and raging, and fighting... and chasing, and leaping and bounding. Arms flinging, heart pounding and splashing and reeling. And finally feeling, Now's when my life begins.
Erwin: I can't believe I did this. (Mumbles) I can't believe I did this. (Happy) I can't believe I did this! (In despair) Hange will be so furious. That's okay, what she doesn't know won't kill her, right? Oh my gosh, this will kill her. This is so fun!! I am a horrible person, I'm going back. I am never going back! I am a despicable human being. WAHHOOOOO! Best day, ever! (Sobbing)
Levi: (Clears throat) You know, I can't help but notice, you seem a little at war with yourself, here.
Erwin: Really?
Levi: The whole day, Bits and pieces. Sort of protective guardian, forbidden road trip. I mean, this is serious stuff. But let me ease your conscious. This is part of growing up. A little rebellion, a little adventure. That's good, healthy even.
Erwin: (Laughs) You think?
Levi: I know. You're way over thinking your stress meter. Did your guardian deserve it? Will this break her heart and crush her soul? Well of course. But you just got to do it.
Erwin: Break her heart?
Levi: In half.
Erwin: Crush her soul?
Levi: Like a soldier in a Titan's jaw.
Erwin: She would be heart broken, you're right.
Levi: Likely, all right, oh bother. All right, I can't believe I'm saying this, but... I'm letting you out of the deal.
Erwin: What...
Levi: That's right. But don't make me. Let's just turn around, and you go home, and your creepy friend. I get back my brooms. You get back a weird lady-not-really-son relationship based on mutual trust and viola! We part ways as unlikely friends.
Erwin: No, I am seeing those flares.
Levi: Oh, come on! What is it going to take to get my brooms back?
Erwin: [he threatens him with the feather duster again] I will use this.
(Rustle in the bushes)
Erwin: Is it ruffians, thugs? Have them come for me?
(a bunny jumps out)
Levi: Stay calm, it can probably smell fear.
Erwin: Oh, sorry. Getting just a little bit, jumpy.
Levi: Probably be best if we avoid ruffians and thugs, though.
Erwin: Yeah, that's probably best.
Levi: Are you hungry? I know a great place for lunch.
Erwin: Where?
Levi: Oh, don't you worry. You'll know it when you smell it.
(Cut to Jean hunting down Levi)
Jean: (Sniffing around and sees Levi's wanted sign. Hange stumbles across him)
Hange: Oh, a Military policeman. Where's your partner? What’s this? Half of his jacket? Erwin. Erwin!
(At base of tower)
Hange: Erwin, let down the ODM. Erwin?
(Climbs up into tower)
Hange: Erwin! Erwin!! (She spots the brooms and key)
(Cut to Levi and Erwin)
Levi: I know it's around here, somewhere. Ah, there it is. The Snuggly Duckling. Don't worry, very quaint place, perfect for you. Don't want you scaring, and giving up on this endeavor now do we?
Erwin: Well, I do like ducklings.
Levi: Yay! Sasha, your finest table, please. You smell that? Take a deep breath through the nose. Really, let that seep in. What are you getting? Because to me, it's part window cleaner and the other part is really strong window cleaner. I don't know why, but overall, it smells like the color blue. Your thoughts?
Mikasa: Those are big eyebrows.
Levi: He’s growing them out, is that blood on your scarf? Eyebrows, look at this, look at all the blood on her scarf. Look, I'm sure that's a lot of blood. Hey, you don't look so good, Eyebrows. Maybe we should get you home. Call it a day. Probably better off. This is a five star joint after all. And if you can't handle this place, well maybe you should be back in your tower.
Reiner: Is this you? (Shows not-quite-perfect wanted sign)
Levi: Ugh, now they're just being mean.
Sasha: Oh, it's him all right. Gretta, go find some guards. That reward is going to buy me a load of potatoes.
Annie: I can use the money.
Conny: What about me? I'm broke. GET BACK!!
Erwin: Please, stop!
Levi: We can work this out.
Erwin: Hey, leave him alone.
Levi: Please.
Erwin: Give me back my guide!! Ruffians!!
Levi: Not the cravat, not the cravat, not the cravat!
Erwin: Put him down! Okay, I don't know where I am, and I need him to take me to see the flares, because I've been dreaming about them my entire life. Find your humanity! Haven't any of you ever had a dream?
Mikasa: I had a dream. Once. (Singing I Have A Dream) I'm malicious, mean and scary. My sneer could curdle dairy. Prob’ly ‘cause I grew up without a mother. But despite my evil look, all the Titan lives I took, I've always yearned to have a younger brother. Can'tcha see me on the streets beating up bullies. Punching the bad guys, 'til they bleed. Yep, I'd rather be called lethal. For defending my own people. Thank you. 'Cause way down deep inside I've got a dream.
104th Training Corps: She's got a dream, she's got a dream.
Mikasa: See, I ain't as cruel and vicious as I seem. Though I feel like breaking femurs. You can count me with the dreamers. Like everybody else, I've gotta dream.
Reiner: I've got scars and lumps and bruises. Plus I’m too caught up in boozes. Let's not even mention my complexion. But despite my dirty clothes, and my shoulders and my nose. I really want to make a love connection. Can't you see me with a special little lady. {Reiner winks at Christa} Rowing in a row boat, down the stream. Though I'm one disgusting blighter. I'm a lover, not a fighter. 'Cause way down deep inside, I gotta dream.
104th Training Corps: I gotta dream, I gotta dream.
Reiner: And I know one day romance will reign supreme. Though my face leaves people screaming. There's a child behind it dreaming. Like everybody else, I've gotta dream.
104th Training Corps: Hitch would like to quit and be a florist. Marlo does interior design. Ymir’s into mime, Sasha's cupcakes are sublime~!! Bertholdt knits, Annie sews, Christa does little puppet shows.
Reiner: And Mikasa collects dozens of big, red, scarves. What about you?
Levi: I'm sorry, me?
Reiner: What's your dream?
Levi: No, no, no. Sorry boys, I don't sing. I have dreams like you, no really. Just much less, touchy-feely. They mainly happen somewhere with no cluster. In a castle that I own, dusted, swept up, and alone. Surrounded by enormous piles of dusters.
Erwin: I've got a dream... I've got a dream.
104th Training Corps: He's got a dream.
Erwin: I just want to see the smoking flare guns gleam. And with every passing hour. I'm so glad I left my tower. Like all you lovely folks, I've got a dream.
104th Training Corps: He's gotta dream, He's gotta dream. They've gotta dream, we've gotta dream. So our differences ain't really that extreme. We're one big team. Call us brutal or sadistic and grotesquely optimistic. 'Cause way down deep inside, we've gotta dream. We gotta dream, I gotta dream. Yes everybody here has got a... Dreeeeeeaaaaamm. Yeah!
Hitch: (busts in) I found the guards.
(Guards follow inside)
Scouting Legion: Where's Ackermann, where is he? I know he's in here somewhere. Find him, turn the place upside down!
Mikasa: (shooing them out) Go, live your dream.
Levi: I will.
Mikasa: Your dream stinks, I was talking to him.
Erwin: Thanks for everything.
Bertholdt: (points to Conny) I believe this is the man you're looking for.
Conny: You got me.
Scouts: Sir, there's no sign of Ackermann.
(Jean busts inside)
Scouts: It's Jean. What he's doing?
(Jeans points to a secret passage)
Scouts: A passage, come on men, let's go. Keith, make sure those boys don't get away.
Sawney: (Knocking out Keith) Play it safe. We'll go get the key.
Conny: (Outside) I got a dream, I got some dream. I-, Ohhh, somebody get me a glass. 'Cause I just found me a tall drink of water.
Hange: Oh stop it, you idiot. Where's that tunnel lead out?
Conny: Knife!
(In the tunnel)
Levi: Well, that got us safe. Didn't know you had that in you back there.
Erwin: I know! I know... Sooo, Levi. Where are you from?
Levi: Whoa, whoa, sorry Eyebrows, I don't do backstory. However I am becoming very interested in yours. Now I...I know I'm not suppose to mention the eyebrows, but it’s hilarious so I will anyway.
{Erwin grumbles}
Levi: Or, the crazy science lady.
Erwin: Uh, uh.
Levi: Frankly I'm too scared to ask about that guy.
Erwin: Eren.
Levi: Brat. Here's my question, if you want to see the flares so badly, why haven't you gone before?
Erwin: Uhh, hey, well...
[Sawney and Beane appear]
Erwin: Uh, Levi... Levi! Who's that?
Levi: They don't like me.
[The Scouting Legion appears]
Erwin: Who's that?
Levi: They don't like me either.
[Jean Appears]
Erwin: Who's that?
Levi: Lets just assume for the moment, that everyone here doesn't like me.
Erwin: Here. (hands him a feather duster)
Scout: I've waited a long time for this.
[Levi Sword Fights With a Feather Duster]
Levi: Oh Wall Maria, I have got to get me one of these.
[Flynn uses the duster to fight Jean with a dagger in his mouth]
Levi: You should know, this is the strangest thing I've ever done- [Flynn loses the duster] How 'bout two out of three?
Erwin: Levi! [Erwin saves him] Levi, look out!
Levi: Hah! You should see your faces 'cause you look... Ridiculous... Come on, Eyebrows. Jump.
Levi: It's no use, I can't see anything. Hey, there's no point. It's pitch black down there.
Erwin: This is all my fault. She was right, I never should have done this. I'm so... I'm so sorry, Levi.
Levi: Rivaille
Erwin: What?
Levi: My real name is Rivaille. So you might as well know.
Erwin: Sounds weird.
Levi: Yeah it’s stupid. I’ll kill you if you call me that.
Erwin: Fair enough.
(The manage to get out)
Sawney: I'll kill him. I'll kill that, Levi. Better off to kill him. Get back the key, come on.
Hange: Boys... perhaps you want to stop acting like unintelligent Titans, and think for a moment. Oh, please there's no need for that. Well, if that's all you desire, then be on your way. I was going to offer you something worth one thousand keys, would have made you rich beyond belief. And that wasn't even the best part. Oh well, C'est la vie. Enjoy your key.
Sawney: What's the best part?
Hange: It comes with revenge on Levi Ackermann.
(Cut to Levi and Erwin)
Levi: So, you wanna tell me why your crazy guardian lady locks you up in a tower?
Erwin: Hange has always said that everyone wants to steal me, so she’s keeping me safe up in the tower. She’s also constantly ranting about some weird flower when she thinks I’m not listening.
Levi: Oh. Wall. Maria. Hange, like Hange Zoë? Holy Sina, it’s Four-Eyes and the Titan Flower! You’re that kid, the one going to be trained as commander!
Erwin: Uh, what?
Levi: A long time ago, the Scouting Legion tried to take you to train you to be the commander for when they needed a new one. But Hange saw bargaining potential, so she stole you. Then she tried to make a deal with the Scouts to exchange your life for the Titan Flower. She used to be a scientist for the Scouts, but went a little insane with the Titans so was booted out. Hange wants the flower to experiment on, but the Scouts has no need for you anymore so they just hid the flower away, and trained me to be the commander.
Erwin: If you’re commander, why are you here, stealing brooms?
Levi: They got to sick of me and I got sick of their disgusting headquarters that they wouldn’t let me clean.
Erwin: I guess that makes sense.
Levi: I’m gonna go polish up my boots.
(He leaves)
Hange: (Enters) Well, I thought he'd never leave.
Erwin: Hange?
Hange: Hello, Erwin.
Erwin: [he stammers]... How did you find me?
Hange: Oh, it was easy really. I just listened to the sound of complete and utter betrayal, and followed that.
Erwin: Hange...
Hange: We're going home. Now.
Erwin: You...You don't understand. I've been on the most incredible journey. I've seen and learned so much. I even met someone.
Hange: Yes, the wanted ex-soldier. I'm so proud. Come on.
Erwin: Mother, wait. I think... I think he’s my friend.
Hange: Friend? You? Levi? Please, Erwin, that's demented. This is why you never should have left. Dear, this whole friendship that you've invented, just proves you're to naive to be here. Why a brat like you? Come on now, really. Look at you, that face, that ancient uniform. Don’t be a dummy, come with Hange. Hange... (Start of Hange Knows Best Reprise)
Erwin: No!
Hange: No? No. I see how it is. Erwin, knows best. Erwin’s so mature, now. Such a clever grown up, sir. Erwin knows best. Fine, if you're so sure now. Go ahead then give him, this!
{Hange hands Erwin the key}
Erwin: How could you…
Hange: This is why he's here. Don't let him deceive you. Give it to him, what, you'll see.
Erwin: I trust him.
Hange : Trust me, That's how fast he'll leave you. I won't say I told you so. No, Erwin knows best! So if he's such a good friend. Go and put him, to the test!
Erwin: Hange, don't leave...!
Hange: If he's lying, don't come crying! Hange~ knows best!
(Hange leaves and Levi returns)
Levi: So, hey uh, can I ask you something? Is there any chance I can clean your tie? I just know if I could polish it, it’d be so shiny...
Erwin: Oh, sorry, yes. Just um, lost in thought, I guess.
Levi: I mean because here's the thing. I’ve always had an ascot, so I’ve never had to shine it up, but with a bolo tie-
Hange: (to Sawney and Beane) Patience boys. All good things to those who wait.
(Jean stumbles upon Levi and Erwin)
Levi: Hmm, what? Well I hope you're here to apologize. AHHHH! No, no put me down. No, no!
Erwin: Release him.
Levi: OW!
Erwin: Whoa! Whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa. Easy boy, easy, calm down. Easy boy. Easy. That's it. Now sit. Sit. Good, now drop the cravat. Drop it. Oh, you are such a good boy. Yes you are. You all tired, chasing the bad man all over the place?
Levi: Excuse me.
Jean: Can no one talk to me like a normal person?
Erwin: Nobody appreciates you, do they? Do they?
Levi: Come one, he's a bad horse-face.
Erwin: Aw, he's nothing but a big sweetheart. Isn't that right? Jean~
Levi: You've got to be kidding me.
Erwin: Look, today is kinda the biggest day of my life. And I need, I need you not to get him arrested. Just for twenty four hours and then, you can chase each other to your hearts content. Okay? Thank you.
(In the city)
Levi: (Holding an armful of apples) Hey Jean. What? I bought them. Most of them.
Jean: I don’t even like apples.
(Heading out on a boat)
Erwin: Where are we going?
Levi: Well, best day of your life. I figured you should have a decent seat. You okay?
Erwin: I'm terrified.
Levi: Why?
Erwin: I've been looking out the window for thirty years. Dreaming about what it would feel like when those flares burst in the sky. What if it's not everything that I dreamed it would be?
Levi: It will be.
Erwin: And what if it is? What then?
Levi: Well that's the good part, I guess. You get to go find a new dream.
Erwin: {Singing I See The Flares} All those days, watching from the windows. All those years, outside looking in. All that time, never even knowing, just how blind I've been. Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight. Now I'm here, suddenly I see. Standing here, it's oh so clear, I'm where I'm meant to be. And at last I see the flares. And it's like the smoke is calling. And at last I see the flares. And it's like the sky is red. And it's warm and real and hazed, and the world has somehow shifted. All at once, everything looks different, now that I see them. {pause singing} I have something for you, too. I should have given it to you before, but I was just scared. The thing is, I'm not scared anymore. You know what I mean?
Levi: I'm starting to. {singing} All those days chasing down a daydream. All those years living in a blur. All that time, never truly seeing things the way they were. Now I’m here standing in the starlight. Now I’m here, suddenly I know. If I’m here it's crystal clear I'm where I'm meant to clean! And at last, I see the dirt. And it's like the dust has fallen. And at last, I see the dirt, and it's like the world is filth. And it's hot and gross and grime, and the world has somehow shifted. All at once everything is different, now that I see dirt. Now that I see dirt. {end of singing}
Erwin: Is everything okay?
(Sawney and Beane on the shore)
Levi: Huh? Oh yes. Uh, yes of course. I just... I'm sorry, everything is fine. There's just something I have to take care of.
Erwin: Okay.
Levi: I'll be right back.
(Cut to the shore)
Levi: Ahh, there you are. I've been searching everywhere for you guys. Since we got separated. Hey, the teeth are coming in nice, huh? You gotta be excited about that. Anyhow, just wanted to say, I shouldn't have split. This stupid keys all yours. I'll miss you, but I think it's for the... best.
Sawney: Holding out on us again? Hey, Ackermann?
Levi: What?
Sawney: We heard you found something. Something much more valuable than a key. We want him, instead.
(Back to Erwin)
Erwin: I was starting to think you ran off with the key and left me.
Sawney: He did.
Erwin: What? No. He wouldn't, he doesn’t give a crap about the key, all he wants are his brooms.
Sawney: See for yourself.
Erwin: Levi? Levi!
Sawney: Fair trade. A key, for the boy who’s gonna get us the Titan Flower, so we can be more powerful than ever.
Erwin: No, please. No, no!
Hange: Erwin!
Erwin: Hange?
Hange: Oh, Erwin. Are you all right? Are you hurt?
Erwin: How did you?
Hange: I was so worried about you. So I followed you. And I saw the Titans attack you. Let's go, let's go before they come to.
Erwin: You were right, Hange, You were right about everything.
Hange: I know, Erwin. I know.
(The Scouts come across Levi and the key)
Scouts: Look! The key.
Levi: Erwin. Erwin! Wait, wait, wait. Guys, guys. Erwin!
Scouts: Let's get this over with, Ackermann.
Levi: Where are we going? Oh...
(Back to the tower)
Hange: There, it never happened. Now, wash up for dinner. I'm making mushrooms. I really did try, Erwin. I tried to warn you, what was out there. The world is dark, and selfish, and cruel.
(Cut to the prison)
Levi: How did you know about him? Tell me, now!
Sawney: It wasn't us. It was the old lady.
Levi: Old lady? Four-eyes! Wait, no, wait! You don't understand, he's in trouble. Wait!
(Cut to tower)
Hange: Erwin? Erwin, what's going on up there? Are you all right?
Erwin: (Mumbles) I was the commander in training.
Hange: Please, speak up, Erwin. You know how I hate the mumbling.
Erwin: I was going to be the Scout commander, wasn’t I? Did I mumble, Hange? Or should I even call you that, Four-Eyes?
Hange: Erwin, do you even hear yourself? Why would you ask such a ridiculous question?
Erwin: It was you! It was all you.
Hange: Everything I did, was to protect you. Erwin.
Erwin: I spent my entire life. Hiding from people who would steal me away.
Hange: Erwin!
Erwin: I should have been hiding. From you, and your crazy obsession with that stupid flower!
Hange: Where will you go? He won't be there for you.
Erwin: What did you do to him?
Hange: That criminal, is to be executed for his crimes.
Erwin: No...
Hange: Now, now. It's all right. Listen to me. All of this is as it should be.
Erwin: No! You were wrong about the world. And you were wrong about me. You’ll never get the flower even if you give me to the Scouts.
Hange: You want me to be the bad guy? Fine. Now I'm the bad, guy.
(Cut to prison)
Scout: What's this? Open up.
Conny: What's the password?
Scout: What?
Conny: Nope.
Scout: Open this door.
Conny: Not even close.
Scout: You have three seconds One... Two... Three...
(Levi Knocks Him Out With a Feather Duster)
Levi: Feather dusters. Who knew, right?
Mikasa: Head down
Levi: Head down.
Mikasa: Arms in.
Levi: Arms in
Mikasa: Knees apart
Levi: Knees apart. Knees apart? Why do I need to keep my... AHHHHHHHH! (Falls on top of Jean) Jean. You brought them here? Thank you. No really, thank you. Uh, I feel maybe this whole time we've just misunderstanding one another. And we really just, yeah your right. We should go. Jean! WHOAAAAA! Okay Jean, lets see how fast you can run.
(At the tower)
Levi: Erwin. Erwin, let down the ODM. Erwin, I thought I'd never see you again.
(Erwin is gagged)
Hange: Now look what you've done, Erwin. Oh don't worry. Our secret will die with him. And as for us? We are going where no one will ever be able to steal you again. Erwin, really. Enough all ready. Stop fighting me.
Erwin: No! I won't stop. For every minute of the rest of my life I will fight. I will never stop trying to get away from you. But, if you let me save him... I will go with you.
Levi: No. No.
Erwin: I'll never run, I'll never try to escape. Just let him leave. And you and I will be together. Forever, just like you want. Everything will be the way it was. You can do all the experiments and projects you want, I promise. Just like you want. Just let him go.
Hange: In case you get any ideas about following us.
Erwin: Levi! Oh, I'm so sorry. Everything is going to okay, in a moment.
Levi: No, Erwin!
Erwin: I promise, you have to trust me.
Levi: No.. I can't let you do this.
Erwin: But I can't let you die.
Levi: But if you do this.
Erwin: Shhh.
Levi: Then you...will die.
Erwin: Hey. It's gonna be all right.
Levi: Erwin, wait...
Erwin: Levi, what...?
Levi: The Scouts will never train you if you’re missing-
{Levi pulls out a knife, and hacks Erwin’s right arm off}
Hange: NOOO! No...NO! What have you done? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!
Erwin: OUCH! LEVI, WHY?!
Levi [weakly]: Erwin...
Erwin: what...?
Levi [weakly]:...you’re… humanity’s strongest...
Erwin: *sniff*...but.... that’s your title...
Levi: Erwin?
Erwin: Levi.
Levi: Did I ever tell you, the Titan Flower isn’t even real? Oh, and you’re gonna die, so we better patch up your arm.
(Cinematic shot)
{Levi narrates} Well, you could imagine what happened next. The kingdom was the same as always. Oh, except Eren, the weird brat, got left behind at some point, and he ended up with the random key. Last I heard, he found some dude’s basement and somehow turned himself into a Titan. Strange. The Scouting Legion still hated me, and Erwin, despite his missing arm, was accepted to be commander. Hange ran off to who knows where, and I found a nice, disgusting castle in the woods that I’m cleaning and renovating. Oh, and the 104th Training Corps? That girl went on to find Eren and grew super overprotective of him. And that guy, Reiner Well, he never found someone to love mostly because he turned out to be a traitor or something. Thanks to Jean, horses got more of a representation amongst men. At last Erwin was where he was supposed to be in the first place. I still would’ve done a better job at commander though.
Erwin: Levi.
Levi: Oh! And Erwin gave me his old feather duster!
{End}