Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Where are they?

This isn’t the circus.

CLANG!

The vehicle Zooble was in shook before Pomni, wearing a polka dotted shirt with an apron, black gloves and a chef hat, opened some sort of window in the vehicle. “What the heck is going on?!”

On the other side of the road was a big edgy truck with Caine, Bubble, Gangle and Jax in it, all wearing zombie makeup for some reason.

“Ugh, not you guys again…” Pomni said as she squinted her eyes at the group opposite them.

“Who are they?” Zooble asked.

“Oh that’s Zomburger.” Ragatha, in a similar attire to Pomni, minus the apron and the chef hat replaced by a cap, handwaved and rolled her eyes. “Our rival food truck.”

“This is the day you DIE, Bigtop Burger!” Gangle shouted while she put a cannonball into the cannon that Jax was holding.

“D-Die?” Zooble’s eyes widened.

“Um, yea yea yea I think- I think also they’re- y’know- they’re trying to destroy us…” Ragatha stammered out.

The cannonball whooshed over the truck as Jax fired it.

“HEY KINGER HOW’S BUSINESS? YOU SELL ANY BURGERS?” Caine laughed maniacally in the Zomburger driver’s seat. “His burgers are bad but mine are 100% worse, we’re practically selling CHARCOAL on a BUN!”

“Our burgers make yours look like Beef Wellington.” Bubble, wearing one of those doctor headwears with a black spiral painted on it, balanced a blue burger on their head.  “Like the apple Eve gave unto Adam.”

Jax broke into a small fit of laughter before continuing. “It’s highway robbery, it’s criminal! Nobody can- nobody can even digest what we’re making!”

“…how is that a good thing?”

“Yeah, uh…hold on-”

“HOW IS THAT A GOOD THING??”

“You fools! This is a themed restaurant!” Jax jeered at the Bigtop Burger crew. “People only come here to make humorous Instagram posts about our absurd burgers!” “The worse the food, the better the sales!” Bubble added.

“Bad food sells burgers, Kinger. Bad food sells burgers…READY THE CANNOOOOON.” Caine demanded to his crew.

Ragatha stared in awe. “…wow- what a- what a strange business model…”

“They’re just riffing over there, huh?” Pomni nudged her with her elbow.

Jax is directing the cannon to the front of their truck- KINGER!

Zooble ran to his office and opened the door only to see the hobo-clothed chess piece be hit out of his seat by the cannonball.

Then they woke up.

In their bed. Well, not in their real bed.

“…what the %$!#…that was a weird dream…”

Chapter Text

“W-Well…how do I…y’know, leave?” Tim, in a red and blue jester costume, asked Cesare, who was sporting a red tuxedo and a cane that was just a (hopefully fake) skull and a spine glued together. “A…”

“Weeelll, don’t freak out about it or anything- but we can’t really-” “You can’t!”

Penny in a blue raggedy dress tried to explain before being interrupted by Frances in pink overalls and yellow gloves.

“What.”

“Shut up Frances. But yeah, she’s right.” Billie in multicolored clothes and a headband with a black and white ‘Y’ and a lightning, stood across Tim. “Welcome to your new home, and your new body.”

“N-New home…? What do you mean?”

“Guys, don’t be mean.”

“We’ve been stuck here for years! Old Steven over there has supposedly been here the longest.” Frances motioned to a pillow fort, from which Steve in a purple royal robe opened the ‘door’ to. “Huh- Did someone say something about being back on broadway?”

“That’s why he’s craaazy, hehehe… eh.” Frances twirled her pointer finger at the side of her head.

“…ohhh, now I get it! This is a dream, and I should just play along until I wake up! Right?”

“Whatever you say, aussie.”

“…they broke my comedy mask…” Doctor, in his outfit but tangled in red ribbons, desperately stared at his broken mask.

“So Cesare-” Frances stepped on his mask, making him squeal in anguish.

And then Billie got woken up by her alarm.

“…what the fuck…that was a weird dream...”