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As much as he hated to admit it, Niall was scared. Maybe even terrified. Anyone could tell that this was not the best house and the neighborhood was anything but better. Police sirens became background music for Niall quickly and neighbors yelling became his theme song. But it was his and he was proud of it. Or at least that’s what he told anyone who tried to confront him about it. It’s what he had and he had to deal with it. Even if the place was absolute shit.
After graduating a few years earlier, Niall was lost. He had no clue of what came next. His whole life people told him he could be anything, but as soon as he reached high school, “anything” became “college.” Music became a “hobby” and “not an actual career choice. You need a backup plan” and by “backup plan” they meant, “you need to go to college for an actual career and stop living in this fantasy world. You’re smart. You’ll do great in college.” But that wasn’t the issue. The issue was that it was Niall’s life and music was what he wanted the most. The only time Niall felt sure of the future was when he had a guitar in his hands (and also whenever Harry was around, but that’s a given). He wasn’t looking for a massive amount of fame. He just wanted to have a job where he actually enjoyed what he was doing.
So, Niall gave himself two options. The first one was to make everyone else happy and go to college for an “actual career.” The second was to make himself happy and pursue music. And as crazy as it sounds, he struggled with that choice. Thankfully he had great friends and they all told him to “quit being an idiot, Nialler. You can’t live your life for others. When those people are off living their life, you’ll be stuck with the one you made for them. They have their lives. Don’t you think you deserve one, too.” Yes, Niall realized he’d been an idiot and quickly made his choice.
Money wasn’t a huge problem for Niall, but he also wasn’t rich. The thought of having to pay back crap loads of money after graduating was not appealing to him, so he decided that a community college would be perfect. Then after two years, if he still felt like he was on the right track, he could transfer.
NIall was happy with his choice, but his life still wasn’t perfect. Thankfully, Niall landed a job at a record store with Zayn, and later he started teaching guitar lessons on the side. However, two years later Niall’s mom had to have surgery and Niall decided to take a break from school to help her out. She quickly recovered, but the hospital bills were still there. And of course Niall helped because, “you're me mum. What kind of child would I be if I didn’t help? You’ve helped me my whole entire life. Let me help you this time.” So, he did, but afterwards he realized that college may not be an option for some time. But, between the record store and giving lessons, Niall felt pretty good in the survival department. Sadly, he still didn’t have enough money to leave the hell hole he called home. It’s not like he didn’t have other options, he just was a little too proud for his own good. His friends had all offered to let him stay with them, “you said it yourself, Niall. If you had a roommate you’d be able to move into a better house.” His mom even offered his old room back, but Niall was twenty one years old and he did not want to be back at home with his mom. No offense.
And then there was Harry, his incredible boyfriend. Harry also decided to go to community college and while there he worked at the bakery he had worked at since they were teens. After two years, he wasn’t sure about transferring. Luckily for him, the owner of the bakery, who thought of Harry as a son, offered the place to him. Harry was shocked, as he should have been, but accepted the offer. Even though he wasn’t rich by any means, who was doing pretty good for himself, and he had a very nice place. A place that he wanted Niall to be. Niall wasn’t sure why he always argued with Harry about it, but he just didn’t know if them living together was smart. They were only twenty one. But seeing the sad face Harry always had once he gave up on arguing over it, nearly persuaded Niall to just forget all of his doubts. Even he could tell his argument was weakening.
~
“We should have soup for dinner, don’t you think?”
Niall was resting on the couch, wrapped up in one of Harry’s comfy throws, keeping warm from the snowy outdoors. “Soup sounds amazing right now.”
“I was hoping you’d say that. Especially since I already made it.”
Niall lifted his head from it’s place on Harry’s lap, which caused Harry’s fingers to fall from their place on Niall’s head. “Why’d you even ask me then? I swear you’re a crazy person sometimes, Harold.”
“Hey! I was trying to give you options and this is how I’m thanked.” Soon Niall felt long fingers digging in his sides causing him to almost fall off the couch.
“No fair! Harry, stop!”
“Nope, not until you say sorry.”
“You’re gonna make me fall on the floor.”
Harry quickly stopped tickling Niall. “I’d never let you fall, Ni. I’m always here to catch you.”
Niall looked straight into Harry’s eyes. “Aww. Harry, that’s,.” Niall gave Harry a quick kiss, “is probably the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard. What the hell, man!”
“Alright. Just forget it. I’m over here trying to be nice and romantic. Making you dinner, making loving promises and you just laugh at me.”
“Oh, Harry, stop pouting. It makes you look funny. Cute, but funny. And unfold your arms and scratch me head again.”
“I swear, you've lived here for how long now? And you still talk like that. It’s ridiculous.”
“Oh shut it. You like it and you know it.”
“Yeah, well. I can’t help it. You know you’re my little Irishman.” Harry smirked at the old nickname.
“Yeah, I still sound like a pirate, right Harreh?”
“Okay, I was only seven. I didn’t know what the heck Ireland was.”
“Yeah, I guess we both talk funny.” Niall only meant for it to be a quick peck, honestly. But sometimes Harry didn’t get the memo and Niall didn’t really want to complain. However, for some reason Harry decided to call it quits way too early. “Why’d you stop? I was enjoying that, you know.” Niall was joking, but one look of Harry’s face told Niall that he needed to be serious. “Harry? What’s wrong.” Harry was looking intensly at the television, so Niall turned over to try to find a clue to what was making his boyfriend speechless. He doubted the decision as soon as he turned. The news were on and the reporter was talking about a murder that had happen. Someone had tried to rob a house, but the owners were home and the burglar killed them. Niall always heard stories like these, and as terrible as they were, he sadly got used to them. However, the fact that the reporter was standing in a neighborhood that was very familiar to Niall, well, that was scary.
“Niall, that’s your neighborhood.” Niall was pulled away from the television by Harry’ voice.
“Yeah, I know, Harry,” Niall whispered.
“That’s all you’ve got to say?! Someone is murdered a few houses down from you and all you say is ‘yeah, I know.’ What the hell, Niall!”
Niall quickly sat up, allowing Harry to stand. He quickly started pacing like he always did whenever he was upset. “Harry, what do you want me to say? You want me to tell you that I’m scared? That I’m worried? How that could have been me if,”
Harry quickly turned around pointing a finger at Niall, “Don’t you fucking say it Niall. Don’t you dare.”
Harry’s eyes were wild and Niall was scared. He was completely sure that Harry would never hurt him, but Niall had never seen Harry this angry before. And even though it was a little frightening, nothing could prepare him for what else laid in those green eyes. Fear. Harry was scared and Niall felt himself instantly fill with guilt.
“I’m sorry, Harry. I kn-. I’m scared, too. I know it’s a bad neighborhood, but I don’t know what else to do. I don’t have any other options”
“You and I both know that’s bullshit. You have many more options. One of them is standing right in front of you.”
“Harry, we’ve talked about thi-”
“No, Niall. You’ve talked about this. I barely get a word in.” Harry quickly moved to sit on the coffee table directly in front of Niall. Harry pulled Niall’s fingers from his mouth where he had been biting on his nails, and held them in his own. “Listen to me for once, okay? You’re not safe there. And I know you want to do things on your own. But, babe, you have. And we’re all so proud of what you’ve done. But now is the time where you need to allow people to help you. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak. Vulnerability is not a weakness. If anything it shows how strong you are. How brave you are to be able to open up to others. And right now I’m begging you to please accept our help. Please accept my help. Niall we’ve been together for over four years. Known each other for twelve. We can do this. Believe in us.”
Harry’s hands were shaking and his face was covered in tears. Niall knew for a fact that he wasn’t doing any better. Too much was happening and Niall was scared. Everything was going crazy around him, but looking at Harry gave him a calmness. It made him feel completely safe.
“Okay.”
“Okay? Really.”
“Yes, Harold really.”
Harry’s smile was contagious. And Niall found himself smiling back, even more so when he felt those arms holding him, those arms that have always held him, always kept him safe.
“Thank you so much, Ni. You won’t regret it. I promise. I’ll make this feel like home.”