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Paul stops as he was about to walk away from Alex, from the life they had quickly built together. But he couldn’t go without telling her what was on his mind.
He turned around, his heart breaking for a second time at seeing how upset she was getting and how much she was crying. That was exactly how he was feeling on the inside too.
“Look. I know you probably don’t wanna hear this and it’s not the right time at all, but I’ve been wanting to say this for a while now and I just never found the right time to tell you, but I just can’t leave without saying it”. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he looked back at her broken features, his face softened. “I love you. And I’m not saying this to guilt trip you into giving me another chance…I know I don’t deserve another chance. It’s just…the first time we kissed I knew that was it, I immediately fell so hard for you and I really mean that. I…believe me, I wouldn’t have done any of this,I wouldn’t have agreed to the deal or suggested we ran the place if I knew this was going to be the outcome”.
Alex’s tears began to fall even more aggressively down her cheeks and she was struggling to breathe.
“I just…I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry Alex, I really didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry I wasn’t the partner you were hoping for and I’m so fucking sorry that you can’t trust me. I just hope that maybe in the future, we can meet again and maybe you’ll give me another chance at loving you properly. Because I know that even though we’re apart, I will never stop loving you Alex. You’re so special to me and…”. His words get caught in his throat as he begins to tear up. He sniffles and continues. “I can’t begin to thank you for putting up with me and loving me how I didn’t deserve to be loved”.
Alex is completely inconsolable, her body is so raked with grief that her knees nearly give out, but Paul launches forward and catches her in his arms. As much as she wishes she didn’t, Alex couldn’t help but wrap her arms around Paul’s neck and cry. Paul wraps his arms tightly around Alex’s waist, burying his face into her neck and savouring these last moments they have together.
Alex mumbles something into his neck but he doesn’t hear her, so he pulls away and looks down at her with a confused expression. She takes a deep breath and repeats herself.
“I love you too. I really do”. She pulls herself from his embrace and takes a step back as she knew she’d struggle to say the next part if they were too close. “But I just can’t….i can’t do this is you’re gonna just lie and not be a good person to everyone”.
“I know, I know. And that’s why I need to leave. I need to go back to Texas and sort out all these messes I’ve caused and become a better person”. He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and stroked his thumb across her cheek in attempt to wipe her tears away.
“I’m gonna miss you”, Alex timidly admitted.
Paul smiled, he was definitely going to miss her too. “You’re gonna do amazing things Alex, but you’ve said it yourself, you don’t need me here for that”.
Alex silently nodded. She knew they needed to end this as she could feel herself getting closer to asking him to stay and giving it another go. But they both knew that wasn’t a good option at this moment in time.
Paul stepped back and wiped his wet eyes with his hands. “I better go”, he whispered. Alex nodded, knowing it was for the best.
“Ok…bye then”, she whispered back.
“Bye”. And with that, he turned around and walked out of the terrace, out of her apartment and out of her life for potentially forever. Paul might not be physically present in her life anymore, but she would never forget the way he made her feel and the way he loved her. Just like he said, she too hoped one day in the future, they would find their way back to each other and rekindle their everlasting love.