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“Only one may go home. The other must stay.”
Thrawn felt Bridger stiffen beside him. Nine years and the young man still had no poker face. One can’t fix everything in a pupil. Nevertheless, Thrawn had expected this. The Great Mothers were clever beings, it was never going to be easy.
“Very well. You may send Bridger home. I expect to be found soon anyway.”
Bridger looked at him with an incredulous stare. “What do you mean by that? You had another ride this whole time!”
“No. I just have faith in my friend’s skills.” Thrawn replied, carefully watching the Great Mother’s expressions.
“Oh that Eli Vanto guy? But Thrawn, he’s in a whole other galaxy.”
The Great Mothers stepped forward in unison. “You would bet your life on this, Grand Admiral?”
“I would.”
“Very well. We propose a deal: you will await here in a state between life and death. Ezra Bridger goes home. If Eli Vanto shows, we will test the strength of your interwoven threads. 3 trials. If passed, you both are free. Fail and you are ours forever.”
Bridger stepped in front of Thrawn. “That’s ridiculous! Just send us both home.”
Thrawn put his hand on the young Jedi’s shoulder. “I accept these terms.”
“Thrawn!”
Thrawn pulled Ezra aside. The jedi looked upset. “Ezra. It is the best option. Do you not want to go home?”
Ezra huffed. “Yeah, but I’m not a guy who leaves people to die with crazy witch ladies. Even if they did blow up my city.”
“You would not be leaving me to die. I have a plan.”
“Hoping that your boyfriend finds you is not a plan.”
“We’ve discussed this, Eli is not my boyfriend. But yes, he is part of this. You will be the one to tell him of what is happening. And if he should need it, help him find his way here.” Thrawn said, whispering quietly.
Ezra’s eyes widened. “Me? How am I supposed to find him? You said your home was hard to find.”
“Good. You remember some things at least.”
Ezra scowled. Thrawn continued. “I told you about the Third Sight, yes? Use that to find the path to him.”
Ezra shifted nervously. “But I’ve never done that before! How can you be so sure?”
Thrawn looked away at the now setting sun. “I am not. But I trust your skills. And I have hope that it will work.”
“This is a big gamble, Thrawn.”
“I have been dealt worse odds.”
“Fine, I’ll do it.”
Thrawn nodded and place his hand on Ezra’s shoulder. They walked back over to the Great Mothers who gestured for Ezra to board the small ship Thrawn and Ezra had found and painted. As Ezra walked aboard the ramp, the jedi paused and turned back to Thrawn.
“May the force be with you, Ezra Bridger.”
Ezra nodded fiercely. “And with you, Mitth’raw’nurodo.”
Thrawn allowed himself a small smile as after nine years the jedi still managed to butcher his name, he was beginning to think it was on purpose. But then the small moment of peace was gone as the Great Mother sent Bridger off and turned to him.
With a wave of their hands, a glass coffin rose up from the black spire. They gestured for him to get inside. Thrawn took one last look at the setting sun. His thoughts drifted to Eli as they always do. And then his mind for first time in his life, went blank.
****
Thrawn woke up just as Eli’s body hit the floor. His head is spinning and every fiber in his body is screaming that something is wrong. There’s a tugging sensation, like a string tied to his left ribs and he just knows it’s Eli. Thrawn slammed a fist against the lid of the coffin, uncaring about the glass shattering upon him.
As he climbed out, his gaze immediately found Eli. The younger man was collapsed beside the coffin, an apple rolling out of his hand. One of the Great Mothers stood there silently watching as Thrawn practically lunged out of the coffin and scooped Eli into his arms.
“What did you do?” he snarled at her.
Thrawn pressed two fingers to Eli’s throat and let out the breath he didn’t know he was hold when he could feel a faint pulse. That pulse was like an anchor to him, barely stopping him from ripping out the throat of the Great Mother.
“The final test has begun, Grand Admiral. Eli Vanto had proven the strength of his thread to you in two tests, but I would like to see the strength of yours to him. Like you, he had faith you will save him.”
“Tell me what I must do and I will do it.” Thrawn said, while cradling Eli’s body closer. Eli was slowly losing that precious taken for granted warmth of his.
“Not what you must do. But what you will endure.”
The Great Mother made a slashing motion with her hand and Thrawn’s body was wracked with agonizing pain. He doubled over and screamed. He thought he had known pain when the purgill crushed his body and he briefly felt the searing cold of the vacuum of space. This was much worse. This was something trying to burn out his insides. This was something laying a thousand cuts to his body to sever something deep within. He did not know what, but he knew to refuse to let whatever it was be taken from him.
The Great Mother made another hand motion and the pain stopped. Thrawn panted, body still spasming from the pain, yet he still curled protectively around Eli.
“That is only a fraction of the pain you will feel if you hold onto this thread connecting you both. I have analyzed your thread many times, Grand Admiral. You could be glorious without Eli Vanto. He is weak. Human. A brief flash of light compared to you, the sun. I looked upon your future together and there is only death.”
She made the slashing motion once more and the pain came back with a vengeance tenfold. This time he saw what she saw.
A war within the Ascendancy. Bloody. Terrible. Grysk forces overwhelming ships. Hard fought battles. Endless exhausting nights of bloodshed.
Over and over Eli getting injured, coming close to death. Himself as well. His friends. Death and violence surrounding them at every corner.
Another agonizing wave of pain.
Eli. Older, hair completely gray. Scarred. Dying in a bed in a home he did not recognize. Himself consumed by grief and mourning.
Thrawn felt the severing blow come again, he fought desperately to cling to the thread. He had screamed himself hoarse through the ordeal but still he clung to this connection. But the vision shook him to his core. He did not know if he could take on another lifetime of pain and loss.
“Let go, Mitth’raw’nurodo! He will only bring you more suffering. Are you not tired of losing! You do not need him.”
Flashes of a path without Eli burst unwillingly into his mind. Himself betraying Bridger and restarting the Empire. Facing down another jedi with white sabers, outsmarting her, stranding her here in revenge. His worst impulses encouraged and obeyed as he commanded the remnant Imperial fleet against the New Republic. A union between him and the power of the Nightsisters. He was strong. He was powerful. He was the heir to the Empire. And under his rule, nothing would stop his new Empire
“Your death would be violent, yes. But you would bring about a new age of glory. Your people are lost already, but this is what awaits you if you let go.”
A small part of Thrawn considered this path. If he could raise such an army, perhaps he could stop the war upon the Ascendancy. But his connection to Eli sang the truth. What would truly save his people was if he went home at last. But could he take the pain that was coming? The Great Mother was right in one aspect. He was tired of losing those he loved.
As if she could sense his turbulent thoughts, the Great Mother spoke again. “You cling to him still because this would be another loss for you. The severing hurts, yes. But the connection would be gone forever. You need not even remember you cared.”
Again flashes of Eli’s death and pain bombarded his mind. But then he saw something. A brief flash of blue around Eli’s bed. And then another. The severing blow came again but once more Thrawn held on as it sang truth again. The fog of war and death parted and Thrawn saw the moments of their life clearly. There was a child they would raise together. There was a wedding. There were friends they would see grow old and happy. There was someone, he thought long gone, he had to meet. There was war, certainly. But there were beautiful pockets of love within that storm of chaos.
“You’re right. There is much pain and death awaiting me.” Thrawn said, his voice firm and clear.
“But there is also so much life. So much love. So much hope.”
The Great Mother screeched. “You speak of hope? Pain is what forged you, Grand Admiral. Pain and loss are what make you. A tragic man destined for nothing but war. Life? Love? Those are things you don’t deserve.”
The severing blow came once more but this time there was no pain. It ricocheted off of the bond with such force that the Great Mother stumbled backwards. Thrawn rose from the floor and regarded the Nightsister with conviction.
“Perhaps I do not deserve it. But it is what I want. And I choose this.”
The bond sang loudly and once more the Great Mother was pushed back, flying across the spire with a burst of gold light. Little golden sparks rained down upon them. Eli woke up with gasp and Thrawn pulled him into his arms.
“Knew ya would save me.” Eli said with a smile.
“There is no other choice but you, Eli’van’to.” Thrawn whispered and drew their foreheads together.
Eli hummed and then surged forward to kiss him. Thrawn let out a content sound and steadied the both of them. Eli was running his hands through Thrawn’s hair and pulled back to giggle.
“It’s not gonna fly back home but I like it when you grow your hair out.”
“Look forward to our retirement then.”
Eli laughed, a true laugh. The first in a long time. Thrawn pulled them both to their feet as they faced the Great Mother, who was now accompanied by her sisters. She now had a small smile on her face.
“You choose well. To choose to continue love after loss is a hard choice but one we must make.”
Thrawn nodded respectfully but Eli put a hand on his hip and scowled.
“So ya gonna send us home now or what?”
She smiled again. “I believe you already have a way back.”
Eli rolled his eyes and grabbed Thrawn’s hand, tugging him back up the ramp of the Chimaera.
“Let’s go home, darlin.”
•••
Epilogue
As they strode through the strange space that Bridger and Eli had used to find him again, Eli had turned to Thrawn.
“Hey, so things are definitely going to be hectic when we get you back home. Not too bad that Thalias is Patriarch of the Mitth now.”
“Oh, Thurifian has passed?”
Eli grimaced. “More like disappeared. And so did his little boyfriend. There’s a lot of things to get you caught up on.”
“I would imagine so.”
Eli huffed exasperated but happy. “More importantly, there’s someone I really want you to meet. A young girl, she’s a former sky-walker. I may have gotten Thalias to push some things around so I could be her guardian.”
Thrawn smiled, thoughts drifting back to what little he had seen of their future. “I would love to meet her, Eli.”
Eli’s face brightened. “You’ll love her. She may take a bit to warm up to you, but I have a feeling, she will love you too.”
Ezra butt into the conversation. “Gross, you guys are being all domestic. It’s like Hera and Kanan all over again.”
While Eli smacked the young jedi in the arm, Thrawn couldn’t even find the will to be annoyed. He was finally going home and finally felt like he would belong.