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You have to say it.

Summary:

Mizuki has graduated, but now what? Even if they still haven’t told her Ena has stayed by their side. The only question they have now is whether their willing to admit what they want.

After all as soon as you say something to another person it becomes real, right? Or maybe that’s just what their scared of.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: A plan, or something like it.

Chapter Text

An had a problem.



Well, it was less that An had a problem. More that Mizuki had a problem, and that was now being made her problem. Well Mizuki wasn’t necessarily making it her problem... but she wasn’t going to just sit idle and let a friend struggle! Particularly when she could do something to help!



She turned to Akito as he finished their post-practice stretch, and tossed him a water bottle.



“Okay, have you tried talking to your sister?”



“Are you kidding?” He looked up with a grimace from the curb he was sitting on. “You know that half the time we talk it turns into a yelling match.”



An had been poking at this part of the problem for a while… she knew that at least part of it had to do with that brunette sister of Akito’s that Mizuki seemed to be so fixated on. As long as she’d known them Mizuki had been cagey about any kind of personal detail, but as soon as the topic of Ena Shinonome came up… well the way Mizuki talked about her certainly made what they felt obvious!



“Didn’t you say that you felt like your relationship got better when she moved out?”



“Yeah, a bit, but couldn’t you get anyone else?”



An rubbed her chin as she squatted next to him. “Not really. Your sister’s pretty hard to get a hold of, particularly since graduation. I mean she never even comes to our shows!”



Either way there had to be something she, or well, Akito could do to get at that sister of his. She had a plan for Mizuki; after all she knew them well… but Ena was a whole different story. She had only met the artist so many times. Most of those, of course, with Mizuki.



“It’ll have to be you.” An stood up, pointing at still grumbling Akito. “You deal with her, I’ve got someone else to talk to tomorrow.”






Mizuki sunk into the chair. The table was deep in the corner of the quiet cafe. One near their house, since they didn’t really want to go far today. If they stayed cooped up in their room any longer Mizuki might die, and besides it was the weekend—that meant rest!

 

Or well, something like it.

 

The tablet in their bag felt like dead weight as they set it next to their iced coffee. There wasn’t much animation work they could do on it for the next Niigo video, but they could at least touch up some of the assets they needed to make for it. Ena’s firm ‘do you think I have time for that?’ from the last time they had asked made it obvious they’d need to pull a bit of artistic weight this time.

 

With the apparent course load, and commissions their argumentative friend had been taking on Mizuki felt the need to follow along. Working full-time retail was exhausting with how much they were helping at the little clothing boutique. But who would complain about having some more disposable income?

 

It certainly helped enable what shopping they found time for these days! If only they could convince Ena to come along more often. Only so many of their friends really made good company on those excursions… even An didn’t fully get it!

 

“Mizuki!”

 

Somehow they managed not to jump as they looked up from the tablet, only to see An herself waving from the counter. She approached the table that Mizuki had claimed, strides firm and quick. The self invited singer navigated the distance quickly as Mizuki watched her move. Even off the stage An possessed any space she was in; always drawing eyes, attention, and respect. Even a near empty coffee shop like this.

 

“An, Hi!” Mizuki waved as she approached. Steam rose off her recently purchased coffee.

 

An’s hair bounced as she came to a stop… the faded blue dye standing against the dark sky of her hair. When she stood, not taking the obvious seat, Mizuki quickly gestured at An to sit.

 

“So, to what do I owe this visit, hmm?” They asked. One hand poking idly at the tablet, the other gently resting against their temple.

 

An quickly took the seat with a laugh. “Can’t I say ‘hi’ to a friend?”

 

“You know I’d never tell you not to do that, An!”

 

“Well you still have to admit it’s been a while Mizuki.” An nodded to herself before continuing. “I was wondering though... how you were doing?”

 

She was right, it had been a while. Graduation felt distant, about seven months past at this point. They had talked to An since then, right? Certainly the sudden lack of something fixed in their life besides Nightcord and work had been strange, but it hadn’t been that bad. Look at them now after all, working most days away, spending their day off… also working… in a cafe.

 

“I’ve been… okay. I’m okay!” They just needed to avoid how long they were consistently wasting idle in bed. “It’s been nice to not be in school.”

 

It was nice not worrying about the things that came with it at least. The attention, and relative cruelty from those who refused to understand. Though it would be remiss if they didn’t recognize the bright spots from those dreary days that they still found themself circling.

 

“You know… Mizuki, you know who to call if you ever need me to handle someone!”

 

Mizuki couldn’t help but laugh, as An cracked her knuckles. “What did I do to deserve such protective friends?”

 

“Just by being yourself Mizuki, so keep being it.”

 

“I’ll try, I’ll try.” They giggled into their iced coffee… it had melted a bit at this point.

 

Silence stuck for a moment as Mizuki watched An fiddle with the paper cup in front of her. It was uncharacteristic of her to idly leave the air unfilled like this. She had been acting a bit strange, still plainly herself, but… Mizuki didn’t want to jump to questions of their friend’s motivations. They couldn’t help but be a little suspicious though.

 

“So… how about you An, how’s the gang, how’s… Kohane?” Mizuki finished with a wink, laughing a how quickly a warm smile grew on the singer's face.

 

“Oh Kohane is great! I swear, everytime we sing she’s just more, and more amazing! It’s just so plain how much effort she puts into it, dancing, singing, everything… She’s just wonderful… Sometimes I wonder how I’m gonna keep up!” Something tinged those last words, but… it wasn’t their place to pry.

 

If something was getting An down, she’d face it. If she needed someone to talk to, An would say something. Though what she had to complain about was a question to Mizuki! After all, An constantly bragged about living in an apartment with the ever amazing Kohane. Last time they had talked had been the same too… she was never more than a breath away from exploding with praise for her partner.

 

“Wow lover girl, you’re going to make me jealous!”

 

“Well maybe if you put yourself out there a bit more…” An replied with with a sly wink.

 

“Eh, and ruin my mysterious loner image? I would never!”

 

“I’m just saying Mizuki.”

 

Give it a chance? Not much point there, was there? Maybe there was a slight hope… after all she was still waiting, but it was probably plain how much of a liar they were now. If Ena hadn’t figured it out by now… to this day Mizuki found themself questioning how she still had such faith in them.

 

“Hey I see that look there.” An leaned forward. Her accusing finger hung over the lip of Mizuki’s open tablet.

 

Was the mask slipping? Maybe they did need more sleep.

 

“What? I have my face on wrong or something?” They tried to plaster the usual grin on.

 

“No, that sad look!” An sat back, “look I won’t force you, but you really should get out and do something! In fact I was gonna message you today either way.”

 

“Oh little ol’ me, huh?” An was reaching out! Mizuki felt a small twist in their chest. It really had been a while since they had talked to her. After everything she had done for them… though its not like they had really reach out to anyone. “So what about?”

 

“A little cafe... get-together, thing!”

 

“What, like this?” Mizuki gestured generally at the cafe around them.

 

“I mean sure, but different people!” An fiddled with her coffee while speaking. “To get you out, and about, all that stuff!”

 

“I mean sure I’d be up for it,” the ‘but’ hung in the air. They just needed an excuse. “Like, I’d love to…”

 

“You should go! It’ll be fun Mizuki!”

 

“Yeah? And who all will be there?”

 

“Just some friends, people you know already!”

 

“Okay. An, you are plainly planning something.” Mizuki said as they slowly closed the tablet in front of them.

 

“What do you mean?! It’s just a little get together, you know, nothing strange!”

 

How much more obvious could An make it? She was pushing way too hard to get them to go, and Mizuki had to know why.

 

“An.”

 

“Mizuki…”

 

“If you don’t tell me what it is, I’m telling Kohane about the fancam.”

 

An recoiled, near empty coffee cup wobbling, as she stood from the table.

 

“You wouldn’t, you helped me make that years ago!”

 

“I’m joking, I’m joking!” Hand shielding them, Mizuki pleaded. “It’s just... can’t you at least warn me about what it is? I’ll need to know what to wear after all!”

 

An took a deep breath as she say back down, and after the brief pause leaned forward. “It’s a blind date.”

 

Mizuki felt their jaw drop.

 

“A what.”

 

“Don’t toss the idea that quick! Would I set you up with someone bad?”

 

“An… this is me we’re talking about you know.” They weren’t worried about whoever An was trying to set them up with, after all. “Are you really that set on this?”

 

“I mean honestly I really did just want to get you out of your house Mizuki… really you’ve barely been talking to people, well aside from online I assume.” An awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck.

 

“I…” Was An… wrong? No, no she wasn’t. They knew that she wasn’t. They laughed hollowly. “Maybe you’re right—sure, I’ll check it out. I trust you An.”

 

“Good! You should know that you can at this point.” An replied with a smile. “After all I’ve had your back for this long!”

 

“I know, I know, but you better not have set me up with some weirdo!” Mizuki couldn’t help but laugh again… hiding behind whatever was left of their iced coffee. Maybe this was the right path, just throwing themself at work was… well it certainly wasn’t doing Mizuki any good. An was right about at least getting out there.

 

After all it was just one date. It’s not like there would be more than that.

 


 

Ena scrambled to her door as the bell continued to ring.

 

“I’m coming, one second!”

 

As soon as the words left her mouth discarded sketches shifted under her feet. Paper fluttered as she crashed to floor. The plush rug for the entry way had been the right choice.

 

The doorbell rang again.

 

“Fuck- shit- hold on!” She yelled dragging herself up from the floor.

 

Ripping the door open she glared at Akito. He glanced behind her at the mess.

 

“It’s not my fault your apartment’s a mess.” A frown etched into his face.

 

She hopped back across the small entry way as he deposited his shoes next to her shelved pairs. He stayed standing, just inside, as Ena turned to him. Had their relationship changed? The question swirled in Ena’s head. After all it was hard to get her brother to act as a living alarm clock with five train stations in the way.

 

“Okay, what is it.”

 

“This is gonna sound weird.” He said rubbing the back of his head.

 

“Well then out with it. I’ll decide how weird it sounds.”

 

Akito hand dropped to his side. He seemed to think for a moment before sighing.

 

“Can you meet up with someone Saturday? It’s at that new cafe that opened last month.”

 

Huh. She hadn’t gotten a chance to go yet… normally Mizuki would invite her. She grimaced, the month since she had last seen them stretching taut.

 

“Sure, if you gimme enough to buy some cake.”

 

“You’re not even gon—actually fine” He made little effort fishing out his wallet and tossing a few bills her way.

 

She yelped, quickly grabbing them out of the air before they could join mess strewn through her hallway. “Asshole! You could have at least handed them to me!”

 

She turned as Akito slipped his shoes back on and turned to the door.

 

“Wha—that’s all?! Not even gonna saying ‘hi’ to your sister, or even tell me how you’re doing?”

 

“I wasn’t planning on stopping by anyways, but I got asked to so… here I am.” He shuffled at the door. “I’m surprised you even agreed.”

 

“Well, hey I haven’t had good cheesecake in a solid month, so I’ll take it for, well… whatever this is. Besides there’s no way you’d set something like this up.”

 

“Eh, you agreed, so that’s all An—shit.”

 

Ena stood counting the money, Shiraishi? Well she hadn’t expected it to be her first guess, but she was still a close second. Though that did mean it wasn’t going to be explicitly some kind of prank. Not that Akito would be up for that. Either way now she really was curious about what this was all about, and the easiest way was to play along. At least she’d finally get something better than what they had stocked at the convenience store.

 

“I figured it was something like that.” She followed him, slipping on her loafers as he opened the door. “Well either way, you should stop by more often. You’ve got to get yourself out of that house more.”

 

“I get out plenty, Ena. But either way… Toya and me have been talking since he moved out...”

 

Good! Ena could barely describe how free she felt without her fathers gaze hanging over her. She knew that Akito had faced different judgment from that curse of perfection that occupied their home. He’d do good being out of that place.

 

“I’m so proud of you, and your fucking boyfriend.”

 

He slowly turned to glare at her.

 

“What?” Ena withered before glaring back. “I’m serious!”

 

“You…” His anger drained as a confused grimace took it’s place. “I swear we’re speak different languages sometimes, but… thanks I guess.”

 

“You’re welcome, I guess.” She sighed, “really though you seems like you’re doing a lot better, it’s good to see.”



“You too Ena, see you around.”



After locking the door she turned back to the now empty apartment. Ena groaned as she rubbed her back.



“I should really clean up a bit.”