Chapter Text
It's about thirty minutes past two in the morning when Katsuki gets home. His feet shuffle lazily through the doorway, the frame shaking as he slams the door behind him. He kicks his shoes off and tosses his keys into the bowl, surprised that he's mustering any energy to put things where they belong at that moment. He collapses into a chair with an exhausted groan. He fishes his phone out of his jacket, admiring the shiny screen.
The phone is new as his old phone had been thrown off a balcony when he'd been drunk once. The screen on that particular disaster had been destroyed to a point of no return. He hadn't even been able to read the screen. Now, he's protected his phone with a screen protector and a much, much thicker case. He had not spent enough money for an arm and a leg to break the device again.
He kicks back, his feet resting on the coffee table- regardless of how angry he'd be with himself for putting his feet on the furniture at all- as he dials the number of Eijiro Kirishima. The call picks up, "Hel-" he doesn't even let the person on the other line finish before he begins to rattle off his rant.
"Oh my fucking god man, I am so sick of my stupid ass customers you have no idea. The absolute bullshit I have gone through tonight. You can't even fathom the amount of sick and tired I am. So I'm closing, yeah? I'm closing early, because I thought everything was slow, I haven't seen a single fuckin' car in hours, and my boss gave me the go ahead. These damn kids. These stupid fucking teenagers pull up to the drive-thru with their music so loud I can't even make out their order. So I tell them to haul ass up to the first window- didn't use those words, obviously- because only god knows what they ordered. So they drive up, and this stupid fucking brat at the window still has that god-awful music blaring. Told ‘em to turn that shit down so I can hear them."
Katsuki inhales sharply before continuing. "They look at me like I need to be so full of energy right now because yeah, it ain't like I'm working alone on a fucking Saturday during a rush so fucking brutal I thought I was going to shove my head into the meat grinder, I am so exhausted. But no, I am a happy-go-lucky robot and I can run a shitty ass store for twelve hours straight without a fucking break from my shitty ass customers because my shitty ass co-workers called out last minute. So yeah, I really should be praising the fact he decided to praise me with his godlike presence at the mighty hour of eleven o' clock." He seethes, running a palm over his exhausted face.
"But hey, all in a day's work, am I right?" He chuckles with an exasperated sigh. Kirishima is about to start talking- he can tell because he hears the sharp inhale- but he interjects, stopping him before he can even tell him he's being overdramatic again. "But fuck, this isn't even what I'm pissed the fuck off over. This brat at the window immediately orders some bullshit we in fact, do not sell. So I'm like, what the hell is this fucker talking about? And so I obviously tell the asshat we don't have that shit and he needs to head some other fucking spot, because what he wants ain't here, right? So the kid says alright and drives off."
"I start closing since the fucker took so much of my time that it's actually closing time by then. And just as I'm about to lock the fuckin' door, the fucker shows up again with about five other cars. So I'm just thinking, what the absolute fucking hell is going on? So I lock the door anyway and I swear, these kids are so fucking high they don't even know what they're doing. One or two of the cars leave, but I'm already on the phone with the damn cops because no way in fucking hell am I leaving this god-awful establishment until these kids leave me the fuck alone."
Katsuki rubs his temples, setting his phone down on speaker in an attempt to quell the incoming migraine. "Geez-" and Katsuki laughs without humor. "Geez is fucking right. Like, have you ever even heard of this type of shit, seriously?" he questions tiredly.
Before Kirishima can answer, he takes another deep breath and continues, "And now I'm so pissed, I might beat the shit out of these kids myself. Because I'm tired as fuck by now. I was so fucking ready to haul my ass home. But now I have to sit in the staff room and wait another fucking thirty minutes for these cops to show up while these kids are ready to jump my ass the second I step foot outside."
He sighs heavily and rakes a hand through his hair, the other line evidently silent. "So I'm sitting and watching surveillance thinking what the absolute fuck is happening, why me, and how the fuck in any universe does what is happening to me make sense right now. Cops get there and take these fucking kids in for being underage and under the influence. So I'm like, hell fucking yeah, I'm going the fuck home . But no. It doesn't end there. I get out to my car and I see one of the cars from earlier pull the fuck up next to mine. And I'm thinkin’, hell fucking no . So I fucking back out and book it the fuck out of there and head home. I just sat in my damn car for thirty extra minutes just to make sure those assholes don't figure out where I live."
He waits for a response or some comment over his wildly eventful evening. The line is silent for about ten more seconds before a voice finally comes through. " Well ..." the voice trails off, continuing as Katsuki has a wait a damn minute moment. "I work at a place that closes up at about five, and no, I don't think I've heard of anything so uhm...bewildering happening, before. Seems way more likely later at night, though! Especially with all the teenagers out for summer break right now." the man says.
Katsuki rubs his face. Kirishima does not close up a fucking shop at five in the afternoon, and he's not even sure the word 'bewildering' even fits in the man's vocabulary. "Oi, where the fuck is shitty hair?"
The other line is silent for a moment, "I'm not sure who you're referring to." the gentle voice which is definitely not Kirishima's gruff one.
Katsuki sighs. "Alright, who the fuck is this?"
"Uhm," the man hesitates. "Well I- actually... why?" the boy asks, evidently attempting to be as nice as possible.
Katsuki raises a brow and makes a face at his phone before sinking down to sit on the floor. "Why the fuck not? What's your damn name." he demands impatiently.
He hears a shuffle on the other line, "Well uhm, Izuku?"
Katsuki rolls his eyes, "Why're you askin' me? You an amnesia patient? Because that's sure as hell not my name."
The voice chuckles on the other line, the laugh gentle and...sweet. "No, no. My name is Izuku."
Katsuki leans back against the seat, fiddling with his hoodie drawstrings. "Was that so damn hard?" he questions
He hears Izuku sigh. "Okay, what's your name, then?" the boy asks confidently.
"Why?"
A pause. "Are you seriously asking me that after you grilled me for my name?"
"Oi, I wanted to see if Red was pranking me."
"I still have literally no idea who you're talking about."
Katsuki sighs.
"What's your name?" the boy asks again.
"Why?"
He hears Izuku sigh and bites back a chuckle. "I'm going to hang up now," says the boy.
"Oi, wait. Katsuki! My name is Katsuki, damn."
"See, now was that so hard?" Izuku says cockily, obviously prideful of his recent win.
"How dare you use my own damn line against me."
"Hey, you're the one that just dialed the wrong number and wasted my time!" the boy reasons.
"Oh yeah, so fucking true! I'll hang up now-"
"Hey no, wait!"
"What? Tryna stop wasting your time here."
"I want to talk more with you."
"Why."
"I'm not doing this with you again."
"Why?"
"...."
"Just save my number, nerd."
"Nerd?" Izuku scoffs.
"You used a big word."
"Bewildering is not a big word."
"Was it necessary? You could have said something much simpler."
"But bewildering adds more depth!" He argues for his pride.
"Nerd. I'm gonna save your number as that."
"Ugh! There is no winning with you."
"Yet you still want to talk to me."
Another pause. "I'm hanging up now."
"Bye nerd."
"I'll text you."
The line drops and Katsuki chuckles to himself. He creates a new contact, using the nickname as promised.
I hate you.
that's no fun! why be a hater?
You caused my hatred, now you must pay!! ヽ（≧□≦）ノ
whatever, lmfao
why the kaomojis?
what's wrong with kaomojis?
they're cute.
hm, i guess.
did you realize your name reads as "deku"
no wtf
why would you even try to read it like that
im hilarious that's why
howdy do, deku?
i literally hate you.
no you don't ;)
kys
now who's being mean???
you wound me, deku
whatever, kacchan 눈_눈
what the fuck is a "kacchan"
you, obvi!!
what the fuck
i get a nickname, you get a nickname
...
mine was not that ridiculous.
you literally called me useless
touché.
mm, exactly
i'm tired, goodnight kacchan!! (●ˇ∀ˇ●)
g'night nerd (¬_¬ )
YOU USED A KAOMOJI
i had to match the energy
fuck you
you're falling under my influence already
im so proud \^o^/
GO TO BED
i am in bed :)
then go to sleep before i rock you to sleep.
like... like a little kid??
no
im literally going to bash a rock into your head
oh!
i'll be going to sleep now. Goodnight! ^.^
what i thought
goodnight, nerd
Izuku dreams of angry rocks flying toward his head that night.