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Long time ago, a hero revealed the horrible plans of the government of his nation that had been abducting children from other countries, to create the most powerful state. Long time ago, the same hero had saved the life of the only raptured child that had survived the attack against the leader behind this tragedy. Now, it seemed that everything was far behind, just a scar in the world's history from which everyone was recovering at their pace. Griff was walking on the old railway among the sunflowers, covered in plants, dirt and damaged by the weather. He could see the old roofs from where he was, the enormous flower field bigger than before, it's as if it all had been frozen in time since that day. Birds were chirping, flying over him, and everything was so silent. But his heart was racing, approaching the abandoned town he hadn't seen in years. Would he be here ? He didn't know if he was hoping to find him there or not anymore. Most of the houses were in ruin, nature had claimed them back, going through the windows, roofs, walls. It seemed that after the war, this old village stayed abandoned, probably because of how cut-off it was from the rest of the world. The water cannons were still in place, the former captain had the impression that they were still in use. Looking around him, being careful not to trip over something, he adjusted the bag on his shoulder, noticing a house that seemed weirdly clean and in good shape. The windows and doors were fixed, most of the roof had been repaired with what was available around and suddenly, someone opened, visibly annoyed by the man's presence.
"I thought I told you to stay away."
The boy was standing there, in casual clothes, his white hair longer than when Griff had seen him for the last time. Lars quizzically looked at the bag on the ex-captain's shoulder, frowning. The silence seemed to last for an eternity, Griff looking for the right words, Lars, standing on his doorstep, waiting for a reply or an explanation. He was still as beautiful as the day they parted ways, his elegant traits always animated by this bothered or angry look on his face. The older man sighed, looking around him then at Lars, giving him a smile.
"I know, I'm sorry I-"
A new sigh and he relaxed his shoulders, letting his bag slip and fall on the ground.
"But I'm glad you survived."
Still that same sentence, over and over, like a ritual. But it was true, he was so relieved to see that the boy was still alive, he had to hold back a few tears. He was definitely too emotional, but also too moved to care. The boy, taken aback, didn't know what to tell him. He shook his head, getting back to his senses.
"And what do you think you're doing ?
-I left the army, everything. Do you think you could bear my presence so I can rest here ?"
It seemed like a noble request - for an ex-soldier to look for peace in the middle of nowhere, in a city that was destroyed by the government he was still working for not so long ago. But the white-haired man wasn't having it, though he had promised himself to never look for revenge ever again. He hissed between his clenched teeth, wary and not believing the man in front of him.
"Why here of all places ? Did you expect to find me ?"
The former captain shrugged, letting a shy smile appear on his face, while his cheeks slightly turned red.
"Maybe. I needed to be away from everything after all this and I thought that I wouldn't mind your company."
Years. He hadn't seen him in years but the captain still acted as if he was head over heels for the white-haired man. Maybe he was, he'd never thought about it before and right now wasn't the time. Lars had noticed, too, how he had always been so kind and soft to him. Always checking up on him, making sure he was okay, worrying about him. Saving his life. More than once. Back in the days, his squadmates used to joke about it, saying that he was the captain's favorite or that Captain Craven feared that the small soldier might cut his head off in the middle of the night. It seemed that it hadn't changed, and the way Griff was looking at him right now could've made him melt right away. Always this overflowing kindness and affection. Why. Why him of all people.
Lars sighed, annoyed, and went back inside, intimating him to come in too. The blonde man's heart jumped in his chest and he leaned to pick his bag up, following the boy -no, he couldn't really call him that anymore, he could see that Lars was emotionally mature compared to his days in the army - in the small house. Though the interior was simple and even austere, the former soldier had managed to make it comfortable. The kitchen still needed some fixing and you could see that the furniture from the living room had suffered through war and time, but it felt like home to the young man who was now standing at the other side of the table, arms crossed, his piercing eyes on Griff. The latter was observing the room, analyzing everything, from the vegetables on the counter to the weapons gathered near the stairs leading to the second floor, probably trying to imagine how the white-haired man had been living. Lars shrinked his eyes, visibly annoyed. Well, he couldn't say that part of him wasn't relieved to finally see someone, loneliness sometimes started driving him crazy. But why him of all people. Why did he-
"You did a great job here.
-I wouldn't have had to repair everything if your army had never been here."
The comment was sharp, bitter, causing the former captain to lose his slight smile and his confidence. The boy -no, the man, was right, if it hadn't been for that stupid war, the village would still be thriving. And it reminded him of that day, when the kids had led him to the water cannon, laughing and screaming, when he had seen Lars again, rewatching the scene in his head, not realizing his heart started racing as it did back then. Seeing the man staying silent, the short one sighed.
"Whatever. I'll fix you a room for now. How long do you plan on staying ?"
He didn't know what kind of reply he was expecting, honestly.
"I haven't thought about it, really. If my presence becomes a burden, I'll leave.
-Then you can leave right now."
Still as agreeable as ever. Taken aback, Griff didn't even know how to react, staring at the boy, agape.
"That was a joke."
That wasn't very funny. But it seemed that Lars had enjoyed messing with the former captain, slowly easing up as he took his bag to bring it upstairs, stopping midway.
"Well, what are you waiting for ? Follow me."
The roles had been reversed, Lars now ordering him around, and Griff found it amusing.
The second floor had three rooms, one was already occupied by the boy and it seemed he hadn't cared enough to decorate or add furniture to the others. There was only a bed, with no sheets, and an old wardrobe with no doors left, covered in dust. Lars silently put the bag down, opening the window to let the warm spring air in, sensing that Griff was looking at him.
"There's nothing better here. You'll have to do with this.
-It's more than enough.
-If you wish to stay, you'll have to help me too. Some houses are not too ruined to be abandoned and I'm working on them too. If you want furniture you'll have to make them yourself or-"
He got interrupted, feeling the warm hands of the captain taking his, carefully handling them to observe his fingers.
"You're wounded-
-I know."
Rapidly withdrawing them, he turned his head to look through the window, embarrassed.
"I don't really have a lot of resources here, so sanitizing my wounds or bandaging my hands aren't my priority."
Oh no, Lars could feel the man pitying him.
"Don't look at me like that.
-Like what ?
-Like I'm a poor dying fawn.
-I don't pity you. You've achieved a lot here, I'm genuinely impressed. All on your own, too… No, I'd rather say I'm proud of you."
Proud ? Why ? He wasn't his dad. The young man could feel a knot in his stomach, frowning, avoiding his guest's gaze. He wouldn't admit it, but having someone say they were proud of you felt nice. Especially when you were struggling everyday to find motivation to stay alive, to get out of bed every morning, take care of yourself. And in Griff's words, Lars saw a sort of reward, for not giving up, for still being up even though sometimes all he could do was sleep until sunset. His interlocutor had dropped his bag on the ground, examining the furniture, taking notes on what needed to be fixed and what could be improved. After a long silence, Lars explained how he had been living here : making his own crops to sell vegetables and fruits in the neighboring city, also living from bartering and learning masonry, carpentry, sewing, just to make the house more pleasant. He had repaired the broken water cannons and still took care of the sunflowers, planting more regularly. He had planned on renovating other houses and fixing the railway to use it again, but was already overwhelmed by everything he had to do simply to survive. Griff nodded, promising to help him and the boy shrugged. Whatever. He wanted him gone as soon as possible, anyway, and he was doing well on his own. The former captain simply smiled, believing what he was saying - but in fact the coldness of Lars wasn't anything new to him.
"Couldn't you go back to your family instead of coming here ?" Asked Lars, in the doorway as he was leaving the room.
"It's complicated… I doubt my mother ever wants to see my face again." He nervously laughed.
"What ? Why ? Have you broken a vase or something ?"
Seeing the older man wasn't willing to reply or make jokes about it, Lars sighed and apologized before heading downstairs. That was something Griff wasn't ready to share, and after all, he didn't care. As long as he wasn't bothering him, the former soldier didn't ask for anything else. He got back to his work, mending old furniture he had found in the abandoned houses all around, before the captain joined him, his soft smile always on his face. He asked a timid "can i help you with anything ?" and probably should've thought twice because Lars had a never-ending to-do list. The man went to take care of the crops, planted in the middle of completely razed houses. The sun was slowly coming down, yet it was still very warm, winter now over. In the middle of the heat, planting new seeds, taking care of the plants, Griff couldn't help but feel at ease for the first time in a while.
It was dusk when he heard the water cannon. He was still working outside, on furniture Lars had asked him to take care of, but he hadn't been warned that the man had left to water the sunflowers. Leaving his work unachieved, he made his way to the kitchen, determined to not be a burden for the boy. So when Lars came home, he was welcomed by the smell of warm food, and a prepared table with everything ready. Griff smiled at him, welcoming him back, inviting him to eat.
"Are you the one who did this ?
-Yes. Is it that surprising to you ?
-I never would have thought you were a good cook."
The compliment went directly to the blonde man's heart, making it flutter, his cheeks warming up while Lars sat down, almost drooling. He hesitated, asking his guest if he had poisoned it, and as a reply, he simply laughed. It was the first time in a while that Lars wasn't eating alone. And though he refused to admit it, it felt good. Loneliness had slowly got him and Griff had arrived just in time, bringing life and joy to the gloomy house. The days went on, weeks passed, and the men worked together, either outside in the garden or in the house Lars had started renovating, or working on furniture. Once Griff offered to buy something from the city with his savings, to make the living room a bit warmer, and they had to somehow find a way to bring a sofa home. That's when Griff started working on the railway, leaving the rest to his partner, even crafting a cart to make their travels to the other city easier. People in town knew them as the two men who worked hard to try to save an old village floored by war, and sometimes locals would offer them food, tools, clothes. They were appreciated for their dedication to preserve this place, and Griff couldn't help but feel a bit of pride when people supported Lars, thanking him for everything he was doing. And slowly he discovered another side of his roommate. To the people of his land, he was kind, soft, considerate. He would warmly thank them with a slight smile only Griff could see, he remembered their names, faces. Which was a lot for the introverted boy he used to be.
The discussions around the table became richer, exchanging about how they should take care of their crops, use a renovated house as storage, and maybe even get animals someday, who knows ? Lars laughed a little at the idea, amused to see his captain coming up with such fancy ideas. He wasn't wrong, though, things were going well, so they should keep it this way. It was the first time that Griff saw Lars smile, let alone laugh. And his smile really suited him, he looked like an angel. The young man, his plate already almost empty, met Griff's gaze, a slight smile still on his face.
"What ?
-It's the first time I see you laugh, he replied with a smile.
-Well, if you keep bringing up such crazy plans, it won't be the last. We can't have animals in the middle of a village, you idiot," he scoffed, his cheeks still pink.
Griff looked at him intensely, wanting to remember this forever.
Lars always used to water the sunflowers on his own, never letting Griff join in, never telling him when he left. Yet, after a breakfast together, he asked his former captain, taking his plate and cutlery to wash them.
"Do you want me to show you how the water cannon works ?"
Griff let out a small surprised sound, hoping Lars hadn't heard it.
"Yes of course ! I'd love to see how you make it work."
He swore he had seen a smile appear on the younger man's face.
Together, they went to the platform where the cannon stood, chatting, and Lars proceeded to explain how it worked, though Griff had already seen it before. Working together, they brought water at the top, to fill the cannon, and the younger man showed him how to fire it, before guiding him to do it. They watched the water ball, a slight smile on both of their faces. Boom. Boom. Griff turned his head to look at Lars, just like that day. Boom. He couldn't tell anymore if that was Lars firing the cannon or just his heart beating louder, as the white-haired man gave him a smile.
"What do you think ? Amazing, right ? The captain wanted to show we could use weapons for other things than war.
-It's beautiful."
Yet his eyes couldn't look away from Lars' face, smiling softly.
After a long day of work, the former captain was once again cooking for the both of them, humming softly, when he heard a loud scream, almost dropping the frying pan to the ground. Loud fast footsteps, and Lars went down the stairs so fast, Griff had barely the time to turn around. Panting and just wearing a towel around his waist, he seemed desperate.
"Please tell me you can fix this !!"
The captain approached, looking at what Lars was showing him. Among the locks of hair that usually fell gracefully on his forehead, a large section was cut absurdly short, and he had to hold back a laugh. How could the boy mess it up so bad? The latter explained that he was lost in thoughts and before he could process what was happening, the scissors had already sentenced his hair. His roommate made him sit down, putting his jacket on his shoulder so he wouldn't get cold, and took the weapon from his hands. Laughing softly as Lars pout his lips, he tried to fix the boy's hair, cutting his hair a bit shorter, giving him his old haircut.
Oh. The nostalgia.
"I tried something, tell me if it's okay with you."
Lars ran to the closest mirror, before sighing in relief.
"Thank you so much…
-Next time, I can cut it for you, he scoffed.
-Yeah… Maybe…"
The young man's cheeks turned a soft red, before he disappeared upstairs, forgetting to give the jacket back to his owner. He'd go get it later, it was okay. What he didn't know was that the former soldier hadn't forgotten about it and actually kept it on purpose, and on the ground of the bathroom, he was hugging it, drowning in the scent of someone else. It felt nice and safe, and Lars closed his eyes, almost falling asleep.
In fact, his nights were difficult. He never slept well, awoken by nightmares or unable to fall asleep. He was stalked by the memories of old squadmates, old allies, his parents, who died because of him. Guilt and grief, mixing up to create an unpleasant feeling, as he was unable to get a good night of sleep. One night, he was awoken by another nightmare, even more violent, even more gory, and screamed in his bed, sitting up on his mattress. Panting, he looked around. Right. He was okay. Safe. Then he heard a soft knock on his door.
"Lars ? Are you okay ?"
Oh. Him again.
"Yes, don't worry about it."
The door slowly opened, Griff's worried face appearing, looking at his roommate.
"Do you need anything ?"
Annoying. Couldn't he just care about himself for once instead of checking up on Lars all the time ? Yet, Lars made room for him on his bed, inviting the former captain. To be honest, his heart was still racing, aching, some company maybe would help. And the former captain had been very helpful lately. He was someone he could trust. So they silently laid next to each other, in the cramped bed, Lars' head coming to rest against his shoulder, making the taller man shiver.
"I get them too. Nightmares." Griff softly confessed.
The white-haired man didn't reply, his breath slowly syncing with the captain's. It felt nice to have him here sometimes, he was a comforting presence, one he knew was loyal and dedicated. It was impossible to make some space between them right now but none of them seemed to dislike it. Griff even slid a timid arm to wrap Lars' shoulders, and slowly caressed his hair. The boy slowly closed his eyes, a warm feeling in his abdomen, not even hearing his roommate wishing him good night. The next morning, he was woken up by Griff stretching in his bed, smiling at him when he realized he was awake too.
"We need to water the sunflowers."
Lars' heart missed a beat, warm pink cheeks, and he sat up in his bed.
"Right. Let's get breakfast."
The two men were growing closer everyday, Lars now open to banter, sometimes teasing Griff himself. Maybe for once, he could allow himself to believe that he had the right to be happy, and the feelings that the taller man made him feel were new, but not unpleasant. It was the first time he laughed with someone. When Griff was on the sofa, he would join him, leaning back on the man's side while he was reading whatever, just enjoying a moment of calm. Sometimes, Griff would even lean his head against Lars', putting down the newspaper or his book, just appreciating the silence and the boy's warmth. It would usually be interrupted by the older man's soft voice, whispering in Lars' hair.
"We should get back to work.
-Do we really have to?
-You're the one who wants to renovate everything, I'm following your orders."
A chuckle, Griff nuzzling his hair with a smile.
"Then, we should go back to work, soldier", teased Lars.
As they were packing up after selling vegetables and buying food or tools for their work, few people came to talk with them, exchanging about the state of the village, even offering some help. People were eager to see this city thrive again, and the two men thought that maybe, it was time to let other people help them, the village couldn't be only theirs forever. After exchanging a few words with an old woman from the city, who gave them new clothes, Lars walked back to Griff, describing what just happened as if he hadn't been watching over him. They got back to the cart, adding the clothes to it, and the former captain stopped, looking at the white-haired boy who stopped mid-sentence, feeling that something was off, turning his head to find Griff staring at him. Butterflies and a short silence.
"Are you okay ?
Pink cheeks, realizing he had been caught.
"Yes, I was just…"
He shook his head.
"Nevermind, forget it.
-If you say so."
They got back home, cleaning up the house and stowing everything they had brought back, before going to cook together as they had been doing for a few weeks now. Summer was here, days longer and hotter. They were chatting, cutting vegetables, cooking meat they had brought back from town, which was rare because it was expensive.
"Are we celebrating something ?" Asked Griff when he saw the piece of veal.
"Have you already forgotten ?" Lars raised an eyebrow, looking at his roommate. "It's been 3 months since you arrived, today."
Oh. Griff had lost track of time and completely forgot that fact. He had been having so much fun with Lars these past weeks that he didn't realize he had been here for a whole trimester already. He softly laughed, saying it wasn't that much of an event and that they could've eaten meat on a more important celebration.
"It is important." Butterflies in his stomach, Lars looked away, still cooking but struggling to focus. "It's the day you…"
"I…?" asked Griff, seeing Lars wasn't finishing his sentence.
"You saved my life once again…" he softly confessed, almost inaudible.
The former captain's whole face turned red, it sounded like a confession of love though it wasn't really. But coming from Lars… It was more than simply stating a fact. Griff's hand timidly reached out to take Lars', his heart beating so fast he swore it was echoing in the room. He had realized a long time ago - that he was enamored with the boy - that day where he saw how people watered the sunflowers for the first time. When he snuck out of camp to find him because he wouldn't believe the outrageous accusations. And hearing Lars' words felt like a dream, his ears and cheeks burning. The white-haired man was in a similar state, hiding his face in his free hand after lacing his fingers to Griff's. It felt awkward, how silent it was. He resumed his cooking, encouraging his roommate to do the same, letting go of his hand. After a very silent dinner, Lars quickly washed his plate and headed upstairs. But he was stopped before reaching the second floor, by a hand holding his wrist.
"Do you like me ?" Griff bluntly asked, out of breath. They were both as anxious as the other.
Lars stuttered, butterflies in his stomach, and that was definitely not because of the food. He couldn't even look his interlocutor in the eyes, he was simply too handsome for him to do so. That almost scared him.
"W-Why do you ask that ? Gosh you're so weird." he scoffed at Griff, trying to withdraw his wrist, but he wouldn't let go, determined.
"I love you, Lars."
His heart missed a beat, and he raised his eyes to look at the man, baffled.
"Say what now ?"
Griff blushed, his eyes dropping to the ground.
"I've known about it for a while and it's also probably why I decided to come here and find you. I-..." He looked up at Lars again, his warm smile appearing again. "I am in love with you."
The white-haired man forgot how to breathe for a moment, staring at the man who just confessed to him. How was he supposed to reply to this ? He felt like he had been beaten in a game, and he didn't like it. Too prideful for his own good, he found it infuriating that it was so easy for the blonde man to say such embarrassing things. So as a reply he moved down a few steps, a hand coming to caress the former captain's cheek and kissed him. Wait what ?! What the fuck was happening ? The two men suddenly forgot all embarrassment, panic, shame as they deepened the kiss, in the middle of the stairs. Griff gently drew Lars to him, carrying him while their lips slowly parted for a second before meeting again. The short man's hands sliding on his firm muscles, he wrapped his waist with his legs, warm hands sliding down his back. It felt good, heavenly even, to be kissed and held like this. Realizing what they were doing, the former captain softly apologized and put him back down, going back to the kitchen to finish tidying up, scratching his neck in embarrassment. Still shaken by what just happened, Lars went down the stairs, heading to Griff, cheeks red with frustration.
"I wasn't finished !" The blond man turned to him, confused. "I have not answered yet. And… I think… I think I like you, too."
His partner softly smiled, pulling him into another embrace, kissing the top of his head.
He was the happiest man on Earth, for if he was allowed to stay by Lars' side, he could only be happy.