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He was in pain, that much he knew. He couldn’t move an inch without it hurting his back. He tried to wake up but his eyelids felt too heavy to do so.
He heard many people come in and out of his room. He heard many voices including the doctor’s and Angela’s but he found himself looking for that one voice that didn’t seem to come. He understood as she was too busy keeping the station in order to know about the surgery in the first place.
Ashley stopped by for a minute but since he couldn’t wake up, she didn’t bother to stay long and he was surprisingly okay with that.
After the voices died down, he finally woke up but he didn’t dare move. The painkillers were wearing off slowly, he hated lying down doing nothing but he had to be careful.
“Where is he?” a person in the hallway yelled loudly.
He recognized that voice immediately and he flinched, knowing full well he wasn’t going to have a happy visitor once she found out which room he was in. The voice he wanted to hear so bad approached slowly, she seemed to be talking to a nurse.
He wasn’t ready for her anger so he closed his eyes, trying to slow down his breathing so she would think he was sleeping.
“Tim!” Lucy’s frantic voice said. He heard her close the door and now it was just the two of them.
He felt her taking his hand in hers and she squeezed into his hand hard to reassure him that someone was there for him, it was a nice feeling.
“I’m so going to kick your ass when you’re out of the hospital,” she said with an angry voice, “I can’t believe you told everyone not to tell me. I was worried sick about you.”
He fought the urge to smile, he liked her concern. She still cared, things have been awkward since Vegas and he wasn’t sure where he stood anymore but now he does and he’s relieved.
After a moment of silence, she took his hand between both of hers. She squeezed in his hand hard, she seemed hesitant about something but he couldn’t guess what. It made him anxious, he wished he had a way to comfort her but he had to stay still. He wanted to know where this was going.
She laughed, trying to build up the courage to do something and he waited with bated breath. It felt like she was going to say something important.
“When I heard you had to undergo a serious back surgery, I was so worried,” she took a deep breath and laughed without humor, “Maybe you had a point not to tell me while I was trying to stop the station from going into chaos.”
She held onto his hand more tightly and continued: “Being so worried sick about you did make me see things I haven’t realized before so that’s at least good..”
He wanted to squeeze her hand so badly to encourage her but he had to keep up the act, he had to hear what she had to say.
“I realized that…” she sighed, sounding very nervous, “I… I have feelings for you.”
Her laugh was fake, she felt sad but he was too stunned by her words to react at all. Which was perfect to keep the act of sleeping up.
“It’s probably stupid to say it like this but I’m too scared to say it to you when you do hear me. You’re too important to me to possibly lose our relationship. That’s why I lied in Vegas too,” Lucy’s voice broke near the end and his heart clenched painfully.
“I didn’t want to risk losing you,” she said and her words died down.
It was deadly quiet until someone else came in the room and said: “Lucy, what are you doing here?”
Tim recognized Ashley’s voice and this was seriously bad timing.
“I was just checking in on Tim, I was about to leave,” Lucy answered, trying to be cheerful but she failed.
Ashley didn’t say anything until Lucy left and asked: “Tim, are you awake?”
Tim slowly opened his eyes, pretending to just wake up. The hand that was held by Lucy felt cold and he missed her warmth but he faked a smile when he saw Ashley, trying to forget what just happened.
“Hey, Ash, what’s going on?” Tim asked, looking outside of his room, hoping to get a glimpse of Lucy but she disappeared.
“Nothing, I was just checking in, Lucy just left,” his girlfriend explained, sitting down in the chair that Lucy previously preoccupied.
“Oh, okay,” he just said, not knowing what to say.
After hearing Lucy’s confession, it no longer felt right to be with Ashley. He wished she was here instead of the one he’s supposed to want here.
Her words brought out feelings he had tried to bury since Vegas. He couldn’t do this anymore, he had to stop lying to himself and give in to what he really wanted.
Before he could do that, he needed to do something first.
“Ashley, listen,” he started and she looked up from her phone to look him in the eyes, “I can’t do this anymore.”
She frowned and said: “What are you talking about?”
“I can’t do us anymore,” he sighed, “I should have told you this before but I have to be honest. We want different things and we’re too different to ever make it work. I’m sorry but it’s the truth.”
“Stop, you’re still high on medication. You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she denied, she didn’t want to believe what was happening at the moment.
“That isn’t the reason why I’m saying this,” he said, trying to show her how serious he is.
“Fine then, I’ll leave,” she said in a neutral tone but she couldn’t hide the anger she was feeling so she left without another word.
When he saw her leave, he thought he would hurt but all he could feel was relief. This was the best thing to do, he had no regrets.
***
He was not amused, someone stole his radio and they were sending him on a goose chase. Lucy and I haven’t talked since he was in the hospital, he hasn’t had the chance yet and it was bothering him.
He’s tried multiple times to approach her but she seemed to be avoiding him. It was obvious she couldn’t forget about her confession either.
It was getting him down and he bet that she knew something was up with him but she had no idea what it could be. They really needed to talk as soon as possible.
At the end of shift, he was in a better mood when he found out Lucy stole his radio. It felt like they were back to normal and it felt nice but that didn’t stop him from wanting more.
So when he was walking to his truck, he was trying to come up with a way to start a conversation with Lucy, maybe he would come by her apartment later today.
“Tim, there you are,” he heard her say.
He saw the radio in her hands and he knew it was the perfect time to finally have a talk with her. He had to grab his chance.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asked, putting his hands in his pants pockets, feeling the nerves acting up.
“I wanted to give you your radio back,” she said and handed him the radio.
“Thanks,” he said and smiled at her.
After a moment of awkward silence she turned around to walk to her own car. He couldn’t let her go now, he was too close to what he wanted.
“I appreciate what you did today,” he started, “You helped me out a lot.”
“Even though you refused to say what was going on with you,” she said teasingly with a smile.
He took a deep breath and decided to hell with it and started talking: “I heard what you said to me in the hospital.”
“What?” she asked in surprise, her eyes wide.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that but I haven’t had the chance yet. You were kind of avoiding me,” he explained sheepishly.
“You don’t have to, it’s fine. I was just being silly,” she backtracked, not wanting to talk about it.
“I broke up with Ashley,” he said as if it explained everything.
She just frowned at him, not knowing what to say. She was looking anywhere but at him. She didn’t expect that this was what was bothering him.
“I broke up with Ashley because I realized what I wanted after you told me how you felt,” he said, looking intensely at her.
“I don’t think I want to hear this,” she said softly, turning around to walk away.
“Wait,” he said and stopped her by taking her hand, “I broke up with Ashley because I feel the same way that you do.”
“Really?” she said as her whole face brightened by her smile.
“Of course I have feelings for you, Lucy,” he said as if it was obvious, “How could I not?”
“But what if it doesn’t work? I don’t want to risk losing you,” she said sadly. She couldn’t bare that thought.
“I think it’s worth the risk,” he smiled and held her both hands in his.
“Yes,” she said excited, standing on the balls of her feet.
“Great!” he said as he crashed his lips onto hers, completely forgetting where they were.
She kissed him back eagerly and wrapped her hands around his neck while pulling her closer to get better access.
They pulled away when the need for air overpowered their want for each other. They smiled from ear to ear to one another.
“Why don’t we get out of here?” he suggested.
She nodded and pulled her to his truck, ready to get started on their evening. This day was the best day he had in a really long time and he didn’t want to trade it for anything.