Work Text:
Streetlights-
It was getting late, dusk was settling in and Alex was just getting off of work. She took her long, dark hair out of the clip that had been digging into the back of her skull and scratched the back of her head.
“Fuck this… I still have so much to do when I get home.” she said to herself. She pulled into the parking lot down the street from her apartment, there was never parking within a block from where she lived, which was another annoyance bringing her to the edge of sanity tonight.
Lately, she was feeling like everything was going wrong, there was not a single thing on this planet that was worth her time, especially other people.
She only needed herself.
She got out of her car and locked it. She decided that she would park down the street from her apartment in the lot closest to the coffee shop. She was going to need some caffeine to get through the evening.
She walked up the stairs to the coffee shop. It was 7:55, they closed at 8. She did not care. She wanted a coffee, they were still open, she was a paying customer, and they had to serve her or there would be hell to pay when their manager found out tomorrow.
The bell rang as she opened the door. The Barista had just taken the drawer out of the register but looked up to see a customer walking in and stopped with a look of mild annoyance on their face. Of course, a customer five minutes before closing.
“Will you be paying with cash or card?” The Barista asked.
“Card.” Alex said flatly, not making eye contact.
She thought to herself, If I had cash I would pay with it, just so that you would have to count down that drawer again.
“Is there a name for the order?” The Barista asked, out of habit.
Alex looked left, right, and then at the Barista with a raised eyebrow. “Seriously?” she asked sarcastically.
“Sorry, habit.” The Barista smiled.
“Ugh…” Alex grumbled audibly. She really did not care for other people. She worked on a computer all day, never speaking to anyone, she went home and spent her nights alone reading or watching trash television. She did not have any friends to speak of, only acquaintances, and rarely spent time with family. She was not necessarily depressed, she was not socially anxious, and she could not claim any disorder or diagnosis that would justify her behavior. She simply disliked anyone that was not herself.
She only needed herself.
“What would you like?” The Barista smiled with purple lipstick, short dark hair, and very dark eyes. No nametag.
“Large vanilla latte.” Alex spoke flatly, no please, no thank you. Those formalities were unnecessary additions to a perfectly adequate sentence to obtain what she wanted.
“Coming right up.” The Barista smiled sweetly again and turned the screen around for payment. Alex did not tip.
She turned and looked out the window, no need for any body language that may indicate small talk was a possibility. The bubbling, whirring sound of the espresso machine subsiding, and the opening and closing of the milk refrigerator let her know that her coffee was ready.
The Barista did not set the cup down, she held it out… waiting for Alex to take it from her. This was strange, and she was not amused. She grimaced and reached out to take the cup, but The Barista did not let go. Alex jolted her eyes up, making a futile attempt at eye contact with the smiling Barista, attempting to pull the cup from their, but they did not let go.
“Excuse me?” Alex asked, with an uneasy tone knitting with her irritated candor.
“I am going to give you something with your coffee.” The Barista said, still not making eye contact with Alex. Their voice was very quiet, just above a whisper, and rang about an octave higher than the voice used to take the coffee order. “While you walk home… down the street… yes I know that your apartment is right at the end of the road… I think it would be best for you to breathe a little. It seems like you need to let go of something that you no longer need.”
They looked up to meet Alex’s gaze now. A charge of fear, or foreboding, or something very unpleasant hit Alex suddenly. She looked into The Barista’s eyes and saw that they were not just dark, they were completely black, and their sweet smile had curled into something entirely different. The Barista let go of the cup and Alex hurried out of the shop, not looking back until she made it to the sidewalk, nearly tripping on the stairs.
“I think I need a fucking vacation. Fucking contacts, they must be. Fucking kids these days.” Alex said out loud catching her breath and taking a sip of the hot coffee. She shook her head and began the walk down the street to her apartment.
She certainly did not intend on taking The Barista’s advice that night. She never took any “self help” tips, nor did she care about anyone’s expectations, but for some reason, she found herself breathing. Not just typical breathing, but counting, and as she came to each street light she found herself holding her breath.
Inhale… “one, two, three, four, five” exhale.
Pause… the first street light came on. It was dusk after all.
Inhale…“one, two, three, four, five” exhale.
Pause… the second street light came on.
There were six street lights between the coffee shop and her apartment at the end of the long street. She thought for a moment that It was strange, they did not all come on at once, but she continued on.
Inhale… “one, two, three, four, five” exhale.
Pause… at her exhale the third street light illuminated.
When she came to the fourth street light, she felt something lift from her. She could not decide exactly what it was, but there was a strange release from her shoulders.
Inhale… “one, two, three, four, five, six” exhale.
Pause… on came the fifth light. Another release, different this time, like a weight was being pulled quickly off of her back, not lifted, but yanked violently.
It took her a bit longer to get to the fifth street light, her steps could have possibly slowed, what with the counting and breathing.
She was close to the end of the street, close to her apartment. She stopped and took another sip of her coffee before continuing.
Inhale… “one, two, three, four, five, six” exhale.
Pause… a long pause… the last street light came on with her breath, her exhale longer this time.
She felt a lightness come over her, almost like falling, but not quite. She sipped her coffee as she walked up the stairs to her apartment building. She realized that it was completely dark now, could it have taken that much time to walk home? It did not seem like dusk should have passed that quickly. She suddenly heard people speaking behind her, and noticed that there may have been lights flashing. She turned around.
There, at the last street light was a small gathering of people and a police car. She was just standing there a moment ago, she did not see anyone…
“What the fuck is going on?” She said out loud to herself, but she could not hear her own words. She brought her hand to her mouth and walked quickly down the stairs. She made her way toward the grouping of people and tried to ask again, “What the fuck is going on? Is someone hurt?” but again, no sound escaped from her lips. She was beginning to feel panic now, her steps quickened back toward the sixth street light.
There, she saw someone, a figure laying on the ground, face obscured by long dark hair, a cup of coffee spilled on the ground.
The sound of voices ceased, she never even heard sirens. Eyes wide she stared at the figure laying on the ground. She felt the burn of someone’s eyes glaring from her left. Her eyes darted up and her head shot toward the feeling, meeting whatever horrible gaze was piercing her presence and moment. There stood The Barista, standing but a few inches from her face, their chin low, the black-holes that made up their eyes fixed on Alex’s own wide-eyed gaze, and a twisted smile that stretched across their face, purple lipstick mocking.
Alex took a sharp breath, bringing both hands to her mouth, realizing that she no longer had the coffee cup in her hands.
The street lights shone brightly and the group of people watched as the ambulance and police car drove away, no sirens, no lights.
Alex had let go of something she no longer needed.