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It’s 2 am. Vi hasn’t gone to sleep. Vi can’t go to sleep. They won’t allow themself and they don’t know why. He’s exhausted. The depression has been hitting hard lately, probably because of the change in seasons. He always loved the winter, but the days felt lifeless now. What were they doing again? Oh yeah, sleep. The ASMR isn’t working. Voices echo in their head. “{You’re alright.}” “(We’re here.)” “[You need to sleep]”. They always loved pretending their favorite characters were around when they were struggling. Let's try music instead.
They’d been listening to the before. Finally. Wings of wax was sticking out in their mind currently. Wasn’t there a drum cover of that? Oh yeah, there was! He wants to be a drummer again, maybe, so why not look at it? See what The Jash himself did to spice up his own song. God, he looks like a dork. Definitely a college student here. They see people like this nearly every day now. Wait what’s going on? Oh yeah, watch the drums, and see what CJ does.
It was awesome, but they want to scream now. Why do they want to scream? Why do they want to cry so desperately? Is this what overstimulation is? Probably not. They’ve never experienced it. They’re not the kind of person who’s supposed to feel it. He needs sleep. Music isn’t working. The lights are still on. He should turn them off. Let's turn them off. First the bathroom light.
He gets up and the voices echo again. “{You’re alright.}” “(We’re here)” “[Don’t wander in the dark]”. These little pretend games are always so fun. They walked to the bathroom. Gotta turn off the light. Suddenly they fall, catching themself on the door frame. They shake slightly and exhale. “{Are you okay?}” They’re fine. Must’ve just tripped, or maybe their ankle failed them. God, they need to clean. He probably tripped on his old keyboard. He doesn’t even play it anymore why is it here? Well…maybe he could “([Wait. No please wait.])” “No I’m not listening.” Haha. Always fun to pretend.
Turn off the overhead light. That’s better. Now he’s in the dark. Now he can properly rest. He nearly tripped back into his bed. God, he hoped the sheet wouldn’t come undone again. They don’t have the energy to fix that right now. They should fix it anyway…just in case…while they still have a little energy. He fixed the sheet, making sure his pile of plushies didn’t get in the way. Toss Tails to the side, Monokuma, octopus thingy, Darell, Juno, Junko pillow, Annie, all of them out of the way to fix one fucking corner. Now to put them back.
Now they could sleep. God it was hot though. Take off the beanie. No the beanie stays. Take off the hoodie. Lets just roll up the sleeves instead. It’s not helping. Sleep will help. No can’t sleep. They don’t feel like sleeping. They…don’t want to be alone right now. But there’s nobody. It’s too late to even message a friend online. So…he’ll do what he always does. Pretend.
He let his mind start to drift, allowing more vivid images of his favorite trio to come to life, all sitting on his bed with him, well except Mind, who was kneeling on the floor for some goddamn reason. They didn’t care though. They weren’t alone anymore. He felt the phantom touches of Soul giving them a hug and gentle head pats. The exact kind of thing they write about all the time. They want to lean against their pretend caretaker, but he isn’t really there, so they don’t.
The fantasy is interrupted by a small buzz on their phone. Fuck what’s going on on Twitter now. Might as well check. Oh hey, nothing bad for once just some art from one of their favorite artists. Some…really uncanny art. Something… distorted…inhuman…and it was staring right at them. Nifty, but freaky. A reminder of all the things that actually freaked them out. Fuck they were supposed to be trying to sleep and now they’re being flooded with terrifying distorted images. God, they need to stop watching analog horror shit. It was all so vivid, too vivid, humanoid creatures with terrifying inhuman smiles all jumping out ready to- “(Hey. Hey. Calm down you’re okay.)”
Right…Right, they can just pretend some more. They can just ...lie down and pretend their favorite trio is there to protect them. He let his thoughts get clouded with the images of Heart Mind and Soul instead. Everything okay. They aren’t alone anymore. He has Heart Mind and Soul. He can receive the comfort he writes about. Luckily it was enough and he found himself tired enough to go to sleep…yknow this would make for a good story to put on AO3. So now it’s nearly 3:30…and it’s finally complete. Time to post…and then go to sleep.